stateside honor killings

[S and S 12]

Its totally cultural and has nothing to do with Islam. All the religions in the middle east have been known to conduct honor killings. I could go on and on about that subject for hours. It makes me so mad.

Since its said to be more cultural to do honor killings... I want to know what the Mens opinions are about this matter of honor killings?? would it be something ever considered if faced with a daughter dating outside the parents religion or who they married or how they dishonored you as a father? Im up for listening to the mens opinions from the MENA group.

Good question!

[Ban Hammer 12,839]

I've heard of cases where the woman has an elastic hymen, but of course she doesn't know that. So on her wedding night when it doesn't break, her husband assumes she isn't a virgin and kills her.

There was one case in particular in Saudi where that happened. The husband beat her so badly and broke many of her bones. Then he dragged her by her hair into the hospital so they could inspect her to verify she wasn't a virgin. Of course, they ended up verifying she was a virgin and that the hymen was intact, but elastic. The woman was left disabled for life. The man immediately started apologizing, but of course she asked for divorce. The one happy ending to this story was she did later get married and had children. The man was shunned for his behavior and no man wanted his daughter married to such a guy.

and was forever known as "shortie"

[Nasturtium 500]

Since its said to be more cultural to do honor killings... I want to know what the Mens opinions are about this matter of honor killings?? would it be something ever considered if faced with a daughter dating outside the parents religion or who they married or how they dishonored you as a father? Im up for listening to the mens opinions from the MENA group.

My husband says he doesn't agree with honor killings, that he feels it is part of a double standard, or at the very least two wrongs don't make a right. he feels it is murder. As far as what he would do if one of our daughters did something? i bet he'd be majorly ticked off, but I don't think he'd ostracize her.. but he'd probably do a lot of damage control I imagine. he insists it is not going to happen. I like the way he's just soooo sure.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Since its said to be more cultural to do honor killings... I want to know what the Mens opinions are about this matter of honor killings?? would it be something ever considered if faced with a daughter dating outside the parents religion or who they married or how they dishonored you as a father? Im up for listening to the mens opinions from the MENA group.

My husband says he doesn't agree with honor killings, that he feels it is part of a double standard, or at the very least two wrongs don't make a right. he feels it is murder. As far as what he would do if one of our daughters did something? i bet he'd be majorly ticked off, but I don't think he'd ostracize her.. but he'd probably do a lot of damage control I imagine. he insists it is not going to happen. I like the way he's just soooo sure.

well as a victim as a child of abuse and watched the death of my mother... no hand of abuse will happen to any of my future children or myself by anyone or I will be the gal in G girls pictures

[Nasturtium 500]

well as a victim as a child of abuse and watched the death of my mother... no hand of abuse will happen to any of my future children or myself by anyone or I will be the gal in G girls pictures

Have you discussed it with your husband? Sorry that happened to you. I cannot even imagine.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Since its said to be more cultural to do honor killings... I want to know what the Mens opinions are about this matter of honor killings?? would it be something ever considered if faced with a daughter dating outside the parents religion or who they married or how they dishonored you as a father? Im up for listening to the mens opinions from the MENA group.

Good question!

still waiting to hear some more MENA fellas on this one...

[Ban Hammer 12,839]

Where the hell is the mother of this poor child. This is how I deal with a problem like this.

Honey I am home, and have I got a big surprise for you

interesting pics....but then again there is always this - the .50 cal handgun....

and might i suggest some ammo?

but remember, nothing equals the 12 gauge with 00 buckshot!

[MelindaandTarek 0]

Since its said to be more cultural to do honor killings... I want to know what the Mens opinions are about this matter of honor killings?? would it be something ever considered if faced with a daughter dating outside the parents religion or who they married or how they dishonored you as a father? Im up for listening to the mens opinions from the MENA group.

My husband says he doesn't agree with honor killings, that he feels it is part of a double standard, or at the very least two wrongs don't make a right. he feels it is murder. As far as what he would do if one of our daughters did something? i bet he'd be majorly ticked off, but I don't think he'd ostracize her.. but he'd probably do a lot of damage control I imagine. he insists it is not going to happen. I like the way he's just soooo sure.

well as a victim as a child of abuse and watched the death of my mother... no hand of abuse will happen to any of my future children or myself by anyone or I will be the gal in G girls pictures

As a social worker working w/abused neglected children ur post is close to my heart

[sandinista! 1,816]

i know someone from a small village in jordan who got killed by her father and brother, and she was actually married...problem was she married in secrecy...she had a tummy ache one nihgt, brother took her to the hospital and the doc told the brother, congrats your gonna be a daddy, he hung his head in shame...took her home, and put a bullet in her head....i dont know what ended up happening to him, but your right julianna, a few years in prison is about all that happens most of the time...

I know a true story of something that happened in Algeria. There was a young teenage girl and she fell in love with a shop owner in oran. He was about 30. He took her virginity and then filmed her with his cell phone and then filmed the room , then walked around Oran showing everybody the video on his phone. Her brother found out and then threw her out of the window of his apartment. She was instantly paralysed from the waist down. When the police showed up , her family told her to tell them she jumped to commit suicide. She listened to her family and didnt tell. This was last winter. Now her brother walks scott free, the shop owner is walking around free and doing freaky things with other females and she is sitting in a wheelchair, barely out of her teens

Yazidi Muslim Iraqi Girl Stoned to Death

since when are yezidi muslim?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I read the speech you gave..it was amazing tamara

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

I read the speech you gave..it was amazing tamara

the speech I gave in 2005 at the ATL State Capital was prompted bcz a wonderful co worker was abused and murdered by her husband... so I am still curious about the MENA mens opinions about honor killings

[Caladan 19]

Filicide is horrible, whether it is done in the name of so-called honor or for some other "reason" - not that one every exists. I don't think this case is any more or less sad than they death of any child at the hands of their parents.

Americans have their own type of honor killings... its more like when a husband finds his wife sleeping with someone else .. and shoots her.. crimes of passion.. lots of times get manslaughter pleas..

Actually, a crime of passion and an honor killing are quite different. The states that have a heat-of-the-moment exemption for crimes of passion actively require it to be in the heat of the moment. Honor killings tend to involve anger, but often happen weeks later by parties who planned it (make the younger brother kill his sister, because it'll only be a juvie crime for him.)

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

http://endabuse.org/resources/facts/

Heres a website link on facts about Domestic Violence in America...

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

For all the new VJ members here is my speech at the State Capital on May 7th 2005... this was my story and many thanks to Melinda for what you do... I wish I could say thank you to the social worker that took care of us ... so I say my thanks to you!

Hi, my name is Tamara. I want to share my story with you, but first, I want to thank God for my life & for the opportunity to be here today to speak on domestic violence. Also, I want to thank those of you who asked me to speak and share my heart & story. I want to be a voice for those who can not speak & for those who no longer live. I hope & pray that through the words today you will be encouraged to speak loudly & stand strong against domestic violence. Never make an excuse or tolerate that which is wrong; domestic violence is one of those things that is surely wrong. Know this, that if its even one life that may be helped or spared because of todays words, everything I went thru will have been worth it. (For You!)

Let me share my story with you about my biological parents Sam & Pearl Parker and me & my two younger brothers David & Daniel. My mother Pearl grew up as a very caring young person, who always laughed & smiled, she never knew a stranger, she was a friend to everyone and everyone looked up to her with respect. -Thats the life she choose to live...

Sam grew up as a very rebellious teenager involved in the gangs of New Jersey. He was into drugs & alcohol at a very young age. Sam was in and out of jail for various things and always on the move. -Thats the life he choose to live...

Now, I don't recall how Pearl & Sam met but I'm quite sure that if she was like most girls, she was hooked on his good looks and "sweet" words. It didn't take long before he had her hooked & his manipulative ways begun to take over her mind.

In early 1981 she became pregnant with me and sometime that summer the two were married. While pregnant with me she had already started to accept his abusive & disrespectful behavior. How sad! Now, come on... He didn't even show love & respect to his own parents, family & friends! Why would a wife & kids be treated any differently???

In 1984 David was born. I recall moving from place to place in New Jersey because Sam was always in trouble with the law & none of the neighbors liked him. He said he was going to change and wanted a better life, so we moved to Louisiana. But a change of location or a change on the outside doesn't do any good for a change on the inside if its not sincere. His heart was still cold & his ways manipulative, his words were of lies & hate. Shortly after we moved to Louisiana, Daniel was born and still no change in Sams life.

Now, thats when I recall the nightmare of abuse for my mother & I. Only it wasn't just a bad dream, it was REALITY! I was 4 1/2 by then and for the next year it seemed like torture for my mother and I to be alive. How can a man who is supposed to love his wife & children do the things he did?

For Sam, crying was a sign of weakness and his kids had to be tough. So, I was always told not to cry, even after watching my mother being beat unmercifully or being beat myself. He would cut himself with a record and make us lick his blood. He would throw me over his shoulder and slam me to the floor & yank my long hair. He shot my kitten I just got because he was angry the kitten had hid behind the fridge. He would tell me he loved me and make me say it back to him. And still I could not cry in front of him.

And oh the things he did to my mother. He punched her in the face, blacked her eyes, bloodied her lips, told her he would always find her if she left him...(which he always did find us) he took away her self respect-prostituted her out in front of us kids and always beat her to the floor.

He made her work while he drank all day and vomited all night. Every day was a nightmare made alive! Oh, I imagine he loved her! He said I love you with his mouth and punched her with his fists.

The last anniversary before her murder he bought her a bunch of white roses in a huge green vase. That night he got angry and violent and threw the vase down, shattering glass everywhere. Then making her crawl on her hands & knees to pick up every piece. (Only a couple more months mom, then your life will be over,...& oh, (I have to see that!)

Let me read you this poem...

I want to dedicate this poem to my biological mother Pearl Parker, who died on August 6th 1987 at the age of 31 from domestic violence...

I Got Flowers Today

We had our first argument last night, and he said alot of cruel

things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said, because he sent me flowers today. I got flowers today. It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.

Last night he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare, I couldn't believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today, and it wasn't mothers day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again, it was much worse than all the other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I'm afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had gathered enough courage to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.....

... Aug. 6th 1987 (Sam & Pearl) outside arguing, came inside into the kitchen arguing. He started to beat her, bite her & kick her. (Later on I found out that he also broken her shoulder.) Moved from the kitchen to the living room and its much more intense and all 3 of us kids were only a few feet away. I can see this even now, he's beating and kicking her and yelling at her to stand up. "Stand up or I'll kill you" he says. She in agony and tears is saying "I can't get up!" I think at that point she knows her life is about to be over. He asked her where the gun was and she said it was in the closet. So he went to the closet and got the gun, went back over to her - only a few feet away from us kids and shot her in the head two times.

Sam plead guilty and was charged with involuntary manslaughter which carried a 15 yr max sentence. He got out of prison two times for "good" behavior, broken probation both times and had to finish out the sentence. He finished his sentence in August 2003 serving 16 yrs in prison.

I tell you my story because I want to help prevent you from having your own story like mine. Please stand up against domestic violence! If you or someone you know if being abused call the (National Domestic Violence Hotline # at 1-800-799-7233.

Make someones life your business and start today by speaking out!

I want to dedicate this poem to those who have gone thru the heartache and pain of domestic violence and may God bless you!

Sometimes its hard to give up control

And ask God to take care of everything.

But that is exactly what He wants us to do.

For when we let go of our problems,

Then He can take us by the

Hand and lead us.

I know its difficult to let go when things aren't good.

And I wish I could make everything all right for you.

But only God can do that.

He knows which pathway you should take,

And He knows where all the rocky places are.

So trust Him to guide you through all of this.

Give Him your burdens,

Give Him your hand

And He will never let you fall.

At the end of 1987 I was put into a wonderful adoptive family. I learned what true love really is and I learned the greatest example of how a man is to treat his wife and children by the example of my adopted father. He showed the greatest example for me and I'll never forget that!

So, I want to say thank you to (mom & dad -Cindy & Herman) for their love through out the years and to God, who has kept me alive and has given me life more abundantly!!!

God Bless You All... -Tamara

Edited April 25, 2008 by TamaraLovesAdam

[Hanna&Mohamed 0]

Yes her speech was amazing! I know hearing that speech when u gave it made alot of people think of there life also.Thank you for sharing it with us!