stateside honor killings

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Alot of what I dont understand is why do some parents get so upset when their children adopt some western views. Isnt it nieve to expect your child to go to school with americans hang out with americans, but to still have the strict mena point of views???

it depend on what every person think and believe . to come to live in usa that not mean that we have to be thier belief. and through your manners and tradtions a way

he was 30 when he married their 16 year old american mother...He could have done other things other than blowing them away with a shotgun,,,,,,

[♥JP♥ 5]

Alot of what I dont understand is why do some parents get so upset when their children adopt some western views. Isnt it nieve to expect your child to go to school with americans hang out with americans, but to still have the strict mena point of views???

My husband and I has this very same discussion 3 days ago. Its very difficult to raise your children as you would in your home country while living in the US. That doesn't mean you have follow what everyone else does but you can't keep them sheltered forever because if you do, it will backfire on you when they finally get some exporsure. In addition, your rules have to be reasonable. If you dont want your daughter's to date, until what age? Its completely unreasonable to expect her to just get married without knowing the person.

[SaadBell 0]

muslim manners and traditions

Why not just teach your children to be a good human being? It is wrong to kill, wrong to lie, wrong to hurt and abuse someone. As far as dating, a young woman should be able to take care of herself, know the facts of being sexual active. Why it is a better idea to study than to run around with boys. It starts young, and don’t make up things, always be honest. Take them to a homeless shelter; see what happens when you make bad decisions. When your daughter is young, take her to see a place where teen mothers are, let her talk to these young girls. Nothing is better at burning an image in a young person’s head is to see their own peers in a bad situation. If it gets totally out of control, which I am blessed never has, take them to the morgue, let them smell death from drugs and sex, and car accidents. Also make sure your children are well read, on all subjects, and if they still not listening take them to a max security prison and let the prisons have a personal talk with the young person, once again, sometimes it takes a shock to wake up. The biggest thing I told my daughter, I will always love you, I may not like some of your choices, but that will never change my love for you, and will always be there for you. My daughter will be graduating from UF in two weeks with her bachelors, so I have done something right. Lol For the Muslims, yes she is still a virgin at 22, too busy trying to work on her education, she knows she can do whatever she wants she is an adult, the test is what they do when they no longer with you.

[mohamed N melinda 0]

muslim manners and traditions

Why not just teach your children to be a good human being? It is wrong to kill, wrong to lie, wrong to hurt and abuse someone. As far as dating, a young woman should be able to take care of herself, know the facts of being sexual active. Why it is a better idea to study than to run around with boys. It starts young, and don’t make up things, always be honest. Take them to a homeless shelter; see what happens when you make bad decisions. When your daughter is young, take her to see a place where teen mothers are, let her talk to these young girls. Nothing is better at burning an image in a young person’s head is to see their own peers in a bad situation. If it gets totally out of control, which I am blessed never has, take them to the morgue, let them smell death from drugs and sex, and car accidents. Also make sure your children are well read, on all subjects, and if they still not listening take them to a max security prison and let the prisons have a personal talk with the young person, once again, sometimes it takes a shock to wake up. The biggest thing I told my daughter, I will always love you, I may not like some of your choices, but that will never change my love for you, and will always be there for you. My daughter will be graduating from UF in two weeks with her bachelors, so I have done something right. Lol For the Muslims, yes she is still a virgin at 22, too busy trying to work on her education, she knows she can do whatever she wants she is an adult, the test is what they do when they no longer with you.

i agree with you and muslim manners and traditions say all what listed above

[nana_356 0]

i agree with Ganja and wahrania,

what i personally dislike is the phrase "muslim manners and traditions".

there is nothing that muslim parents wants for their child, that an american parent doesn't. manners is something we all hope that our children will adopt, many christian (or otherwise) parents would love nothing more than there children maintaining their innocense till marriage, dressing conservitavely etc. etc.

The only difference that I see is the different reactions that Mena parents VS. non mena parents have when their children chose not to live the lifestyles their parents wish!

[♥JP♥ 5]

i agree with Ganja and wahrania,

what i personally dislike is the phrase "muslim manners and traditions".

there is nothing that muslim parents wants for their child, that an american parent doesn't. manners is something we all hope that our children will adopt, many christian (or otherwise) parents would love nothing more than there children maintaining their innocense till marriage, dressing conservitavely etc. etc.

The only difference that I see is the different reactions that Mena parents VS. non mena parents have when their children chose not to live the lifestyles their parents wish!

I disagree. There are certain manners and traditions that only pertain to Muslims. A Muslim parent may their child to follow the relgion strictly, wear hijab, avoid certain foods. Muslim manners and traditions go far beyond dating and sex. Although I agree that I would like my children to dress conservatively, my ideas of what is conservative enough differs from what is acceptable in Islam.

Most of you have chosen your mate and you can't change their beliefs or way of life. If you want them to just come here and forget everything they know, the way they were raised, and live life as an "american" things will most likely not workout. I don't agree with everything my husbands wants or says for our kids and he doesnt agree with everything I believe either but thats where compromise comes in.

[nana_356 0]

muslim manners and traditions

Why not just teach your children to be a good human being? It is wrong to kill, wrong to lie, wrong to hurt and abuse someone. As far as dating, a young woman should be able to take care of herself, know the facts of being sexual active. Why it is a better idea to study than to run around with boys. It starts young, and don’t make up things, always be honest. Take them to a homeless shelter; see what happens when you make bad decisions. When your daughter is young, take her to see a place where teen mothers are, let her talk to these young girls. Nothing is better at burning an image in a young person’s head is to see their own peers in a bad situation. If it gets totally out of control, which I am blessed never has, take them to the morgue, let them smell death from drugs and sex, and car accidents. Also make sure your children are well read, on all subjects, and if they still not listening take them to a max security prison and let the prisons have a personal talk with the young person, once again, sometimes it takes a shock to wake up. The biggest thing I told my daughter, I will always love you, I may not like some of your choices, but that will never change my love for you, and will always be there for you. My daughter will be graduating from UF in two weeks with her bachelors, so I have done something right. Lol For the Muslims, yes she is still a virgin at 22, too busy trying to work on her education, she knows she can do whatever she wants she is an adult, the test is what they do when they no longer with you.

Wonderful !! I applaud you!

You sound like a wonderful mother, we cannot just say "you cant do this and that, just because I said so" You have taken the correct actions in showing your daughter the possible consequences to corrupt actions. (Great parenting) Seeing is truly believing!

[SaadBell 0]

How sweet of you to tell me I am a good mother, thank you. I did the best I could; getting her to read books was a big step for me. I am a firm believer in being straight with children, when I worked with juvenile offenders; I was always straight up and honest. You can do anything in this world, but always remember there is a price to be paid, just be sure you can pay it. If you want to really do something, know the risks you are taking, and what are the consequences of your actions, if what you do doesn’t turn out like you thought. If you still think it is worth it, then go ahead, but don’t complain when the bill collector comes to get his money from you.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Killed for honor.... how sad.

[S and S 12]

I know a girl who was raised in a horrible family upbringing. She could have done whatever she wants and no one would have cared. She got moved around foster homes, etc. Yet she chose to focus on religion. Now she is almost 40 years old and still a virgin. She keeps her heart close to God and helps other kids who have rough lives. I keep praying that she will find a good man to marry. She would be such a great mother. So, the point is, this is a Christian American woman who came from the worst of backgrounds and still chose the right path. It is up to each person to make his or her decision. We have members in my family that were raised right and stayed virgins until marriage as well so it can go both ways.

Honor killings is never an option that should be used. I really get angry whenever I even think of someone doing such a thing. All I can think of is finding the offenders and fighting them publicly and beating them up where they can lose their pride because some small woman beat them and the whole time I would remind them about their so called "Honor" and how I am taking it from them. They would live, but it would be with that embarrassment. I took jui jitsu classes for a couple years and every time I hear about these killings it makes me want to go back and take more classes, lol. I can't help it, it is my weakness that I can't stand to see an injustice on a helpless person (or animal for that matter). I doubt I will ever actually have that chance, but it makes me feel better to think about it.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

I know a girl who was raised in a horrible family upbringing. She could have done whatever she wants and no one would have cared. She got moved around foster homes, etc. Yet she chose to focus on religion. Now she is almost 40 years old and still a virgin. She keeps her heart close to God and helps other kids who have rough lives. I keep praying that she will find a good man to marry. She would be such a great mother. So, the point is, this is a Christian American woman who came from the worst of backgrounds and still chose the right path. It is up to each person to make his or her decision. We have members in my family that were raised right and stayed virgins until marriage as well so it can go both ways.

Honor killings is never an option that should be used. I really get angry whenever I even think of someone doing such a thing. All I can think of is finding the offenders and fighting them publicly and beating them up where they can lose their pride because some small woman beat them and the whole time I would remind them about their so called "Honor" and how I am taking it from them. They would live, but it would be with that embarrassment. I took jui jitsu classes for a couple years and every time I hear about these killings it makes me want to go back and take more classes, lol. I can't help it, it is my weakness that I can't stand to see an injustice on a helpless person (or animal for that matter). I doubt I will ever actually have that chance, but it makes me feel better to think about it.

Great Post!

[SaadBell 0]

I know a girl who was raised in a horrible family upbringing. She could have done whatever she wants and no one would have cared. She got moved around foster homes, etc. Yet she chose to focus on religion. Now she is almost 40 years old and still a virgin. She keeps her heart close to God and helps other kids who have rough lives. I keep praying that she will find a good man to marry. She would be such a great mother. So, the point is, this is a Christian American woman who came from the worst of backgrounds and still chose the right path. It is up to each person to make his or her decision. We have members in my family that were raised right and stayed virgins until marriage as well so it can go both ways.

So true, how many do we know that came from great homes, and still made bad choices. Same thing I hear when they come in with a charge of murder one, and they say, I had a bad childhood, so who had a prefect childhood, not a very good excuse to me.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

by the way... the sisters murdered by their father... their family has set up a myspace page for them in their memory... its www.myspace.com/pleaserememberus

[Ihavequestions 419]

I disagree. There are certain manners and traditions that only pertain to Muslims.

And just what would those "manners and traditions" be?

[sandinista! 1,816]

i agree with Ganja and wahrania,

what i personally dislike is the phrase "muslim manners and traditions".

there is nothing that muslim parents wants for their child, that an american parent doesn't. manners is something we all hope that our children will adopt, many christian (or otherwise) parents would love nothing more than there children maintaining their innocense till marriage, dressing conservitavely etc. etc.

The only difference that I see is the different reactions that Mena parents VS. non mena parents have when their children chose not to live the lifestyles their parents wish!

how do you figure? parental reactions from place to place are as varied as the people who live there. societies as a whole may differ in their reactions, but they are still composed of individuals who might respond very differently than how the majority would. in egypt, hend el-hinnawy and her father is one example that comes to mind.