carolynhotstuff

My husband's love is not blind. He knew exactly what he was doing when he asked me to marry him. This thread was started so women married to younger men and waiting on their visa's could support each other. It wasn't started so we could be insulted.
My husband is smart and has a lot on the ball. He is neither blind, stupid or ugly. He could have married a much younger woman but he fell in love with me. I am very proud of my husband and he is proud of me. Really the only opinion of our marriage that mattered was the CO at his interview and she didn't have a problem with our age difference.
Men marry younger women all the time and it's considered normal. When a woman marries a younger man she's the subject of cruel remarks and gossip. It's women like me that will change all that someday. We are opening peoples minds and their hearts. My friends have started considering dating younger men because they see how good my husband treats me and how happy I am. They are starting to realize that good men come in all ages, shapes, sizes and colors.
It wasn't that long ago that interracial couples made people upset and uncomfortable. I guess that's what women married to younger men do is make people upset and uncomfortable. I was not going to give up the love of my life because I wanted to fit into what society thinks is the norm.

My husband had his interview but I was unable to attend. The CO was very kind to my husband and only asked him 3 questions. One of the questions was what did we have in common? He answered that to her satisfaction. She looked at our wedding pictures and told him I look much younger than my age. He said the CO did mention the fact that we got married after only knowing each other a few months. Then she said we were missing some documents and to send those in with his passport.
The bottom line is he passed the interview even with our huge age difference and like 99% of Pakistani males he is now in AP.
We have been married for a long time. We will have our 2 year wedding anniversary in August. Our marriage is strong and it doesn't matter if other people can't believe he would marry a woman so much older than him. All that matters is that he treats me with love and respect.
I am happy. People are jealous of that happiness and try to say things to bring me down but I've learned how to shut out the negative comments and concentrate on being the best wife I can under the circumstances of him being so far away.

Do not let anyone on here make you feel bad because you fell in love and married your wife. They don't give you money to live on nor do they have control of your visa.  The embassy looks at many things when making the decision on a visa not just the age difference. Many people do everything right and still get denied in Pakistan. My husband and I have a huge age difference, didn't have a large Pakistani wedding and any number of things the embassy had a problem with when he went for his first interview. It took a total of 4 years but he got his visa. They never mentioned the age difference in our NOIR which is a list of reasons they deny the visa.
 
Have your wife contact her congressman or senator as soon as possible. They can email the embassy to try and find out the real reasons your case is being sent back.
 
If you have a good reason why she didn't come to Pakistan and can prove that to USCIS then do so. We sent copies of Dept of State warnings to Americans about the dangers of going to Pakistan. Every American is not willing to risk their life even for love. Some people can't get a visa to visit Pakistan if that is the case send proof. USCIS is not the embassy in Islamabad. USCIS doesn't practice age discrimination and they are a lot more open minded if you have proof to back up what you are saying.

My husband had his interview but I was unable to attend. The CO was very kind to my husband and only asked him 3 questions. One of the questions was what did we have in common? He answered that to her satisfaction. She looked at our wedding pictures and told him I look much younger than my age. He said the CO did mention the fact that we got married after only knowing each other a few months. Then she said we were missing some documents and to send those in with his passport.
The bottom line is he passed the interview even with our huge age difference and like 99% of Pakistani males he is now in AP.
We have been married for a long time. We will have our 2 year wedding anniversary in August. Our marriage is strong and it doesn't matter if other people can't believe he would marry a woman so much older than him. All that matters is that he treats me with love and respect.
I am happy. People are jealous of that happiness and try to say things to bring me down but I've learned how to shut out the negative comments and concentrate on being the best wife I can under the circumstances of him being so far away.

Do not let anyone on here make you feel bad because you fell in love and married your wife. They don't give you money to live on nor do they have control of your visa.  The embassy looks at many things when making the decision on a visa not just the age difference. Many people do everything right and still get denied in Pakistan. My husband and I have a huge age difference, didn't have a large Pakistani wedding and any number of things the embassy had a problem with when he went for his first interview. It took a total of 4 years but he got his visa. They never mentioned the age difference in our NOIR which is a list of reasons they deny the visa.
 
Have your wife contact her congressman or senator as soon as possible. They can email the embassy to try and find out the real reasons your case is being sent back.
 
If you have a good reason why she didn't come to Pakistan and can prove that to USCIS then do so. We sent copies of Dept of State warnings to Americans about the dangers of going to Pakistan. Every American is not willing to risk their life even for love. Some people can't get a visa to visit Pakistan if that is the case send proof. USCIS is not the embassy in Islamabad. USCIS doesn't practice age discrimination and they are a lot more open minded if you have proof to back up what you are saying.

Do not let anyone on here make you feel bad because you fell in love and married your wife. They don't give you money to live on nor do they have control of your visa.  The embassy looks at many things when making the decision on a visa not just the age difference. Many people do everything right and still get denied in Pakistan. My husband and I have a huge age difference, didn't have a large Pakistani wedding and any number of things the embassy had a problem with when he went for his first interview. It took a total of 4 years but he got his visa. They never mentioned the age difference in our NOIR which is a list of reasons they deny the visa.
 
Have your wife contact her congressman or senator as soon as possible. They can email the embassy to try and find out the real reasons your case is being sent back.
 
If you have a good reason why she didn't come to Pakistan and can prove that to USCIS then do so. We sent copies of Dept of State warnings to Americans about the dangers of going to Pakistan. Every American is not willing to risk their life even for love. Some people can't get a visa to visit Pakistan if that is the case send proof. USCIS is not the embassy in Islamabad. USCIS doesn't practice age discrimination and they are a lot more open minded if you have proof to back up what you are saying.

Do not let anyone on here make you feel bad because you fell in love and married your wife. They don't give you money to live on nor do they have control of your visa.  The embassy looks at many things when making the decision on a visa not just the age difference. Many people do everything right and still get denied in Pakistan. My husband and I have a huge age difference, didn't have a large Pakistani wedding and any number of things the embassy had a problem with when he went for his first interview. It took a total of 4 years but he got his visa. They never mentioned the age difference in our NOIR which is a list of reasons they deny the visa.
 
Have your wife contact her congressman or senator as soon as possible. They can email the embassy to try and find out the real reasons your case is being sent back.
 
If you have a good reason why she didn't come to Pakistan and can prove that to USCIS then do so. We sent copies of Dept of State warnings to Americans about the dangers of going to Pakistan. Every American is not willing to risk their life even for love. Some people can't get a visa to visit Pakistan if that is the case send proof. USCIS is not the embassy in Islamabad. USCIS doesn't practice age discrimination and they are a lot more open minded if you have proof to back up what you are saying.

Do not let anyone on here make you feel bad because you fell in love and married your wife. They don't give you money to live on nor do they have control of your visa.  The embassy looks at many things when making the decision on a visa not just the age difference. Many people do everything right and still get denied in Pakistan. My husband and I have a huge age difference, didn't have a large Pakistani wedding and any number of things the embassy had a problem with when he went for his first interview. It took a total of 4 years but he got his visa. They never mentioned the age difference in our NOIR which is a list of reasons they deny the visa.
 
Have your wife contact her congressman or senator as soon as possible. They can email the embassy to try and find out the real reasons your case is being sent back.
 
If you have a good reason why she didn't come to Pakistan and can prove that to USCIS then do so. We sent copies of Dept of State warnings to Americans about the dangers of going to Pakistan. Every American is not willing to risk their life even for love. Some people can't get a visa to visit Pakistan if that is the case send proof. USCIS is not the embassy in Islamabad. USCIS doesn't practice age discrimination and they are a lot more open minded if you have proof to back up what you are saying.

It is quite common for the embassy in Islamabad to treat people with disrespect and try to scare them into admitting some type of wrong doing. They tried to frighten and shock my husband 4 years ago and from what I hear they are still doing it today.
 
I have posted on this subject before but people here don't want to accept how brutal an interview can be with them. They are trying to find fraud anyway they can. It's not personal they just feel they are doing their jobs.
 
The fact that you were at the interview looks good and there is really no safe place in Pakistan for Americans but some places are better than others. All you can do now is wait. They may do a field investigation if they really feel that he is still married. They will send men out to talk to his friends and neighbors. This bullying during the interview does work. They got a friend's husband to admit that he was married to a Pakistani woman and had kids that his American wife didn't know about. Visa denied and friend's heart broken from fraud. The embassy does all this to protect both us and our country from these con men and women.

It is quite common for the embassy in Islamabad to treat people with disrespect and try to scare them into admitting some type of wrong doing. They tried to frighten and shock my husband 4 years ago and from what I hear they are still doing it today.
 
I have posted on this subject before but people here don't want to accept how brutal an interview can be with them. They are trying to find fraud anyway they can. It's not personal they just feel they are doing their jobs.
 
The fact that you were at the interview looks good and there is really no safe place in Pakistan for Americans but some places are better than others. All you can do now is wait. They may do a field investigation if they really feel that he is still married. They will send men out to talk to his friends and neighbors. This bullying during the interview does work. They got a friend's husband to admit that he was married to a Pakistani woman and had kids that his American wife didn't know about. Visa denied and friend's heart broken from fraud. The embassy does all this to protect both us and our country from these con men and women.

In Pakistan they are always looking for reasons to deny a visa so yes they do care about age, kids ,past marriages and religion. I know because I had a 4 year battle with them over all these issues before they finally issued my husband's visa.
 
As long as a Pakistani Muslim man marries a foreign Christian woman under Shariah law and it is filed at the Union Counsel the embassy has to accept the marriage as being legal. I had to pay a USA lawyer good money to research my marriage and educate the American embassy in Pakistan.
 
 

You have as your country as Saudi . Have you ever had dealings with the ignorant workers at the embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan? Pakistani men have been told by the person interviewing them that the embassy will have them hung and killed if caught in a lie. 
 
How can you sitting at your computer screen tell a person that experienced them first hand what that embassy will and will not do? I still have the NOIR they sent me and my friend Emily telling us that it is against the law in Pakistan for a Foreign Christian to marry with a Pakistani Muslim. Didn't matter if it was Sharia law or not. My lawyer did teach them that they were wrong and that is why they finally issued visas to my husband and to Emily's husband. 
 
I answered the original question from personal experience with  the embassy in Islamabad. Other embassy's work differently and do not keep people in AP for years then deny the visa like they do in Pakistan. 

In Pakistan they are always looking for reasons to deny a visa so yes they do care about age, kids ,past marriages and religion. I know because I had a 4 year battle with them over all these issues before they finally issued my husband's visa.
 
As long as a Pakistani Muslim man marries a foreign Christian woman under Shariah law and it is filed at the Union Counsel the embassy has to accept the marriage as being legal. I had to pay a USA lawyer good money to research my marriage and educate the American embassy in Pakistan.
 
 

I am sorry that you have both had to lose so much in order to be together. It is indeed a harsh world. You have major health issues and you can't stay with your husband if you're dead. You need to return to the United States get your health in order and find a job or several jobs so that you can sponsor your husband.
 
I was apart from my husband for 2 years yet now he is in the United States. You need to sit down with your husband and make a long term plan on where you want to live and what it's going to take to work and make money.

I am sorry that you have both had to lose so much in order to be together. It is indeed a harsh world. You have major health issues and you can't stay with your husband if you're dead. You need to return to the United States get your health in order and find a job or several jobs so that you can sponsor your husband.
 
I was apart from my husband for 2 years yet now he is in the United States. You need to sit down with your husband and make a long term plan on where you want to live and what it's going to take to work and make money.

I am sorry that you have both had to lose so much in order to be together. It is indeed a harsh world. You have major health issues and you can't stay with your husband if you're dead. You need to return to the United States get your health in order and find a job or several jobs so that you can sponsor your husband.
 
I was apart from my husband for 2 years yet now he is in the United States. You need to sit down with your husband and make a long term plan on where you want to live and what it's going to take to work and make money.

I am sorry that you have both had to lose so much in order to be together. It is indeed a harsh world. You have major health issues and you can't stay with your husband if you're dead. You need to return to the United States get your health in order and find a job or several jobs so that you can sponsor your husband.
 
I was apart from my husband for 2 years yet now he is in the United States. You need to sit down with your husband and make a long term plan on where you want to live and what it's going to take to work and make money.

We have been married 8 years and he is here in the USA and unlike you we have a home, he has a good job and we have money. We were forced 2 spend 2 years apart so that he could come to the USA and have a good life. 

We have been married 8 years and he is here in the USA and unlike you we have a home, he has a good job and we have money. We were forced 2 spend 2 years apart so that he could come to the USA and have a good life. 

We have been married 8 years and he is here in the USA and unlike you we have a home, he has a good job and we have money. We were forced 2 spend 2 years apart so that he could come to the USA and have a good life. 

I am sorry that you have both had to lose so much in order to be together. It is indeed a harsh world. You have major health issues and you can't stay with your husband if you're dead. You need to return to the United States get your health in order and find a job or several jobs so that you can sponsor your husband.
 
I was apart from my husband for 2 years yet now he is in the United States. You need to sit down with your husband and make a long term plan on where you want to live and what it's going to take to work and make money.

USCIS used to say give them up to 180 days to review and reply to a case that was returned to them. Now they usually say there is no time frame. A case can get a response in a few weeks or a few months. It's all a waiting game. I would call once a week to check the status of the case. While waiting continue to collect evidence. Letters from your friends and family in English stating they know about the marriage and that you are happy and in love are great if the embassy is saying your marriage is fake. Keep records of calling and emailing and texts to each other until the visa is granted. If she sends money to you have her keep all records of that also.
 
Once you get the letter in the mail from USCIS telling you why your visa was denied you will have 30 days to send in proof of why the embassy was wrong to deny the visa. That is why I said there are things you can do now to get ready and be able to send those letters and other proof to your wife here in the United States. Do not trust regular mail. Spend the money and send your package to her by Fed-Ex so it will be sure to arrive usually in 5 days. I say this because i am still waiting for cards and letters my husband sent regular mail and it's been 8 years. LOL
 
For friends and family that did not speak or write English my husband wrote the letters and read them to the people. They signed with their name, address and phone number. Letters from your people are very, very important. If you are telling family and friends about your American wife both USCIS and the embassy see that as the number one sign that the marriage is not fake.
 
Do not be afraid to send proof that she has been sending you money. Why would she send money to a man unless she was in love with him? One last thing. You need to write a letter telling how you met your wife and about your relationship and love for her. I have told your wife about a low cost lawyer. She is doing everything I did to get the visa for my husband but you must do your part also. Your case is not a hard one to win. The lawyer will help and guide her like my lawyer did me. Try not to worry so much just take action and get those letters from different people around you in Pakistan.

Sometimes the embassy asks for fresh documents for their records to see if you have moved to a new address or have any other changes. They also make mistakes so it's best to check with them to see if any other documents are needed such as a new medical, proof that the relationship is still ongoing. Things like that. They would not issue my husband a visa until we sent proof that we still have a loving marriage after 2 years in AP.

It took 4 years for hubby to get his visa. A total of 3 interviews and 2 field investigations. You would know if a field investigation had been done. His neighbors and friends would have told him about a stranger asking questions about him. I never went to any of the interviews. I didn't have the money to travel like that. Don't torture yourself trying to figure out why the visa was denied. Wait for the Notice of Intent to Revoke/Deny it will explain everything. My husband's last interview after he was reaffirmed was the worse one. Like your husband he interviewed with 3 men. He stayed calm and cool. They yelled at him, called him a lie, told him to apply for a work visa which is a trick they use. If he had shown any interest in the work visa he would have failed the interview.
 
There are organizations that are low cost that help people trying to immigrate. Look up Catholic Charities in your area. Call them and see if they have immigration lawyers. Their fees are based on your income. They help any one it doesn't matter what religion you are. My lawyer was a 45 minute drive away but she did an excellent job and our case was reaffirmed. USCIS is not the embassy they are more objective when looking at evidence but don't over load them.
 
If possible be with him at the next interview. They might be just as hard on you as they have been on him be prepared for that and as I said continue to keep records of calls, emails and chats. Also take pics with his family members and write on the back of the pic the dates and who the person is.

It can take months for your case to be sent back and the reasons given why your case was denied. Once you get your Notice Of Intent to Deny/Revoke you will have 30 days to respond. You must answer and provide proof for every reason the embassy refused the visa. Sometimes an extension can be asked for and given so you have more time to respond. I am so sorry you are going through this. We were also denied our visa and were reaffirmed by USCIS. If reaffirmed your case will be sent back to the embassy for another interview.