missmissy

You see, you can insult people on Visa Journey. You just have to follow these simple rules.
1. You need to include your enemy in a group and insult that group, not the person specifically. So instead of saying "You are hysterical" you can say something like "more proof that liberals are hysterical." Here is an example in practice: "no wonder the libs on here have such a hard time accepting reality." http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/618283-colin-kaepernick-praises-cuban-dictator-fidel-castro/?p=8397226 Brilliant, isn't it!?!
2. You need to invent a new name for your enemy. Current examples include Snowflake http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/602548-learning-to-live-with-islamic-terrorism-in-france-and-beyond/?p=8226156 or Loony left: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/618353-not-even-president-yet/?p=8397247 Past examples include a combination of liberal and retarded, but that has now been censored. http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/447442-**-an-acceptable-insult/
3. Best yet, you need to give your new insult an acronym to obfuscate. Past examples include "Muddy Ditch Left" or MDLs, seen here. http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/618353-not-even-president-yet/?p=8397511 An older one was Right Wing Nut Job, or RWNJ. http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/431874-breaking-soldier-dead-in-the-uk-after-islamist-terrorist-attack/?p=6245386 There is also a new acronym insult, called "BHL" or "Butt hurt liberals," seen here: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/618353-not-even-president-yet/?p=8397580 You are then free to use these insults personally, but since they are group nouns, no one is the wiser.

I've been on both sides of this and the best advice I can give you is - don't give up and do encourage him to problem solve a little more. When we lived in Sweden, the Dane pushed me out of the nest, so to speak. I had to learn how to get things done. He encouraged me to figure it all out, on my own. Yeah, I got really mad at times but I felt so much better when I could do things on my own and not rely on him for everything. So...when we finally got our Visa and the Dane moved here, I forgot all about that. We had 2 solid years of adjustment to live through because I hovered, I managed, I nagged, I problem solved, I did everything I could for him and nothing helped. When I finally threw my hands up and told him to sink or swim, he swam. His motto became - if it is to be, it is up to me.

I've been on both sides of this and the best advice I can give you is - don't give up and do encourage him to problem solve a little more. When we lived in Sweden, the Dane pushed me out of the nest, so to speak. I had to learn how to get things done. He encouraged me to figure it all out, on my own. Yeah, I got really mad at times but I felt so much better when I could do things on my own and not rely on him for everything. So...when we finally got our Visa and the Dane moved here, I forgot all about that. We had 2 solid years of adjustment to live through because I hovered, I managed, I nagged, I problem solved, I did everything I could for him and nothing helped. When I finally threw my hands up and told him to sink or swim, he swam. His motto became - if it is to be, it is up to me.

I've been on both sides of this and the best advice I can give you is - don't give up and do encourage him to problem solve a little more. When we lived in Sweden, the Dane pushed me out of the nest, so to speak. I had to learn how to get things done. He encouraged me to figure it all out, on my own. Yeah, I got really mad at times but I felt so much better when I could do things on my own and not rely on him for everything. So...when we finally got our Visa and the Dane moved here, I forgot all about that. We had 2 solid years of adjustment to live through because I hovered, I managed, I nagged, I problem solved, I did everything I could for him and nothing helped. When I finally threw my hands up and told him to sink or swim, he swam. His motto became - if it is to be, it is up to me.

I really hate this type of condescending nonsense. If you think the USCIS's service is adequate because you happen to be friends with one of the numb skulls that runs a service center, then fine. Great for you. But to pretend like you better know how much preparation someone else has done or needs to do is just ridiculous.
Your friend is an integral part of a horribly managed system that causes a lot of unnecessary grief and confusion for the people who have no choice but to avail themselves of it. And a lot of those people are going to continue to demand better of that system, whether you or your friend like it or not. Just because he sat down and had drinks with you and told you "how it is" doesn't mean we have to accept the way he or others in the USCIS are mismanaging the system we depend upon.

A lot of people could say the same about the guns, fair tax, fine the businesses who hire illegals, sleeping naked with Alla drivel that you post.

Can you imagine how humiliating and embarassing this all will be to his poor wife if she ever reads these threads? Does she come to the VJ website? Like many others, I have read it all, from the beginning (both threads) and as I was reading, I was thinking that I would just about die if anyone wrote about my private life in such detail on a forum like this. That made me feel ashamed that I have been reading this thread. There wasn't anything for me to learn here and I had no advice to offer except STOP IT. I am interested in reading about K1 experiences, how to cope with the waiting, missing my SO so much I want to cry, not this train wreck of a marriage. This poor woman deserves much better, she deserves to have her privacy respected and if her idiot husband can't do it, we should be able to at least tune him out and not respond to his posts. She is in my prayers. That's just my opinion.....

Sunbathing naked in Vermont in January? Things might shrivel up but then how could we tell the difference?

Mods are mods because they want to be. They're not paid and they don't sign contracts. They can leave if they can't "take" it.
I realize it's an ungrateful position to take on. But I think a bunch of people take it way too seriously. Here in this thread alone we've got a couple of "essays" about how VJ is moderated and then several posts in "defense" of the down-trodden moderators. All over the membership of someone who contributes very little to the purported purpose of the site.
IMO, this says a lot about the boredom threshold of a lot folks. Perhaps myself included.

First off, my sincere condolences. My marriage went t!ts up due to infidelity 11 months after we entered the US, despite having lived together abroad for a couple of years before we made the move. He and I tried to reconcile for almost a year while living separately, and did six months of marital therapy. Ultimately, though, you both have to be committed to counselling to make it work, and he wasn't. (In retrospect, although the break-up was cataclysmic, I've come out the other end happier and healthier than I've ever been as an adult.)
You need to step back from all of this for a while, even though it is all you can think about (and will be for some time). What is the outcome you desire most of all? Is that outcome realistic? Does it involve her? Does she want to be involved?
There are many on here who will say once a cheater, always a cheater. Personally, I don't agree that this is always the case. But you do need to look at your wife's history in this matter, and determine whether you can trust her. I don't know about you, but what was most painful to me was that he lied to me. Not being with another woman, but all the lies. He still lies to me about what happened, even though he and I have grown to be friends again. When you marry someone, you open yourself to them completely, bring them yourself and trust them with your heart and soul and body. Breaking that trust can be fatal. Only you and she know whether the trust can be rebuilt.
My best advice would be not to do anything rash right now, when you are at your most vulnerable and most raw. It feels surreal, like you're walking in a dream, I know. If you can stay with friends now, do. Talk to your friends and family. They know you best. There are people on here who will tell you to go home, you have nothing invested here. Only you know how much you have invested here, in terms of life and relationship.
It is your decision. Be strong, and take courage.

When you try and constantly bait someone with childish insults, even after they ignore your attempts, thread bans happen. It didn't have anything to do with being Republican or Christian. Saying someone has a "sore #######" about it doesn't help your case either.

and you're trying to pretend you know how this man acted as a husband. good one.
to clarify - i don't know either of these people personally, so my posts were derived only from the words in the op's post. i know some of you once burnt fellas feel the need to rally round the newly burnt fellas, i get that. sorry you guys have sh*tty exes. i've got one too. and i've never asked him for a single cent - not for me and not for his child. and i never will.

I'll validate you! We received an RFE in October and it took me a month to gather what I "thought" they wanted. I sent over 6 pounds of paper to them. I highlited AND put notes all over it all, and I separated everything by colored paper. We got the text message last night - card production ordered.
If you didn't get an RFE, it's easy to brush this off and tell others to take it easy. However, having had an RFE - we freaked out. We are in our 50's and our lives are not as merged as other, younger couples are. We had to dig deep to find enough to send, thankfully - it was enough. Maybe the notes and highliting helped.

I'll validate you! We received an RFE in October and it took me a month to gather what I "thought" they wanted. I sent over 6 pounds of paper to them. I highlited AND put notes all over it all, and I separated everything by colored paper. We got the text message last night - card production ordered.
If you didn't get an RFE, it's easy to brush this off and tell others to take it easy. However, having had an RFE - we freaked out. We are in our 50's and our lives are not as merged as other, younger couples are. We had to dig deep to find enough to send, thankfully - it was enough. Maybe the notes and highliting helped.

So true....sigh

What seems weird to me is how you are trying to stir up some controvercy over the OP's comments on a thread were he is celebrating the birth of his new child. But doing it in a way that is not a TOS violation, trying to get other members to agree and start a trash talking rant about the OP who we all know gets ridiculed everytime he tries to enjoy this site. I am sure you going to say that you didnt imply that at all with what you said. Thats a typical Trash Talker's Denial.

congrats!
on another note - let's not berate the op and create drama. this is supposed to be a celebratory thread...

Once you're married for a while you'll think back and wish you had that distance again for a few days here and there.

Divorce and move on. It hurts, but it is survivable.

Gary, you are one of the worst offenders with regard to generalizations of women. Basically, you are saying to remove and moderate all the posts which you make in that regard. As you are very quick to orate in your reports that mods should be consistent, I will be happy to oblige.
The OP was getting an education by the membership on his bias. I see nothing wrong with setting people straight. The members of this board are very good at that. There were absolutely no snarky comments made by "CABA women" in that thread, but there was one from you against them.
If you are going to have a holier-than-thou attitude then I suggest you start walking the walk.

I moved to Sweden for a year to be with Lars and I can tell you from personal experience - being homesick is just about the worst feeling ever. We got through it. To everyone on this board that has left their entire life to come here to be with someone, you are my hero. It was the hardest thing I ever did and I have so much admiration for the strength it must take to stay here and work through it. I was lucky, I got to come home and he still wanted to come home with me!
Lars has periods of homesickness and it has led to some strange behavior on his part, but we work through it and staying busy does help. So does talking about it. He had a lot of patience with me when I was in Sweden and I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

Regardless of what your personal feelings are about a city or location, please remember that your insensitive comments can be seen as particularly cruel to those who lost everything in Katrina. There are members on this forum who are in that category, and even more who have friends and family who went through Katrina, some who survived and some who didn't. Plain-speaking is one thing; insensitivity to a situation where many lost their lives, their homes, and every thing they owned - especially an event so close to home and so recent in memory - is another.

There is an old saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes.
I think that can apply to quite a lot of comments in this thread. Both sides really.
That being said, to BZMommy, this is what I would say to you. I would be very hesitant to put the health and well-being of my child in the hands of the United States Customs and Immigration Service. Like you, I am a mother. I think I can understand pretty well how upset and worried you might be. But your daughter's care is in your hands. USCIS will listen to your request for an expedite, but it might not be in time for the result you are hoping for. You and your husband have the power to take care of your daughter. Please don't put that care in the hands of a government bureaucracy.
There is a story in the Vietnamese forums of a man whose child died in Vietnam while his wife awaited visa processing. I'm not telling this to frighten you. I am just saying not to count on USCIS for this expedite in as timely a manner as you wish for.
Edited to add that I do very much care about what you are going through.

It's not trolling, Kip, it's joining the party. It's common knowledge that the UK subforum, for example, is boring. Mostly practical matters and "OMG!!!! I'd kill for a REAL Cornish pasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and "My slutty neighbor is flirting with my hot UK MAN because of his SEXY ACCENT!!!!!!" But, the RUB subforum isn't an exclusive club, as much as a very few guys (and it's all USC guys) want to make it like that. There's so much hilarious baiting that goes ignored, and when someone with a UK flag makes a comment on just about anything, it's "Oh no! The hairy-legged Anglophone man-haters are here!" It's a weird dynamic, but it's lots of fun. At least I think it is.

you were quite judgmental of that poster before eekee clued you in. it might be very worthwhile to "know thy poster" and his/her applicable relationship history before developing a severe case of moral outrage.