TBoneTX

Sad: With USAID Shut Down, This Ecuadorian Child May Never Know What Gender He Is ECUADOR — In a horrific tragedy caused by USAID's termination, 8-year-old Antonio Gonzalez of Ecuador may never have a chance to find out what gender he is. Gonzalez had enrolled in an USAID-sponsored elementary students' class on how to properly determine his true gender, but will now never have the chance to attend. The devastating funding cuts will also prevent Gonzalez from attending other USAID activities like rainbow fingernail painting, ####### theater day, and furry Saturday. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/sad-with-usaid-shut-down-this-ecuadorian-child-may-never-know-what-gender-he-is

New White Noise Machine Helps Men Sleep By Playing Soothing Sounds Of An M-1 Garand U.S. — Thousands of men across the United States are reporting better sleep after trying a new white noise machine which plays the soothing sounds of an M-1 Garand. The groundbreaking machine, which has already cured men afflicted with sleep apnea, insomnia, and circadian rhythm disorders, has three settings: "Goodnight Garand," "I Dream Of Garand," and "Garand Classic." "This has totally changed my life," said Grant Fowler, who [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/new-white-noise-machine-helps-men-sleep-by-playing-soothing-sounds-of-an-m-1-garand

So much winning! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This Is How You 'Count Coup': Netanyahu Presents Trump With (Inert) Commemorative Pager "Counting coup" is an old Plains Indian custom, broadly describing any act of winning prestige against an enemy in battle. One of the greatest coups one could get was to actually touch an enemy in battle and escape unharmed; the enemy didn't have to be killed or injured; in fact, the prestige was greater if the one counting the coup left the enemy unharmed and escaped unscathed. Israel gained an enormous amount of prestige in their battle with Hamas and Hezbollah with last year's loaded pager/walkie-talkie operation, which had the goblins looking at their personal electronics and seeing grenades. Israel managed to remove a fair number of goblins from the game with this complex and impeccably executed operation, and on his visit to the White House on Tuesday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gifted President Trump with a gold-plated pager to commemorate the event. (This pager was not built to explode.) That, folks, is how you count coup in the modern era. [...] https://redstate.com/wardclark/2025/02/05/this-is-how-you-count-coup-netanyahu-presents-trump-with-commemorative-inert-pager-n2185249

Win Against Antisemites: Judge Rules on Dismissal of Case of Jewish Students Locked in NY College Library Antisemitism may be one of the most, if not the civilized world's most ancient hatreds, and it resurfaces with baffling regularity. Most recently, hatred of the Jewish people is rearing its ugly head on American college campuses, where young skulls full of mush whose grandfathers may well have helped liberate German death camps are wearing kaffiyehs and screaming Hamas slogans. At one school, the Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art in Manhattan, is being sued by Jewish students who were locked by security personnel into a school library to protect them from their fellow students, who had been whipped into an antisemitic rage, in October 2023. [...] https://redstate.com/wardclark/2025/02/05/win-against-antisemites-request-for-dismissal-of-jewish-students-vs-cooper-union-denied-n2185255

Finally, justice is pending! I consider it equally significant that the author, a preeminent presidential historian, finally committed to calling Bidementia "by far the worst president in American history." Read his book Rating America's Presidents for a unique and important take on a topic usually dominated by leftist academics. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Uh-oh: Bondi Just Ordered an Investigation Into Biden's Politicization of DOJ Trump's new Attorney General Pam Bondi has hit the ground running. If she succeeds in implementing her ambitious agenda, America will be a substantially stronger republic. The single aspect of Old Joe Biden's misrule that makes him by far the worst president in American history was his politicization of the Justice Department and his use of it (with Merrick Garland's willing help) to try to ensnare and destroy Trump with an array of bogus charges. Bondi is tackling that corruption head-on: Fox News reported Tuesday that among the new attorney general's first directives are "orders to combat the weaponization of the legal system." She also plans to pause federal funding to sanctuary cities, which is more of the common-sense approach that makes Trump beloved among the American people and hated among the masses. Why should cities that defy the law get federal money? Bondi plans to set up a "Weaponization Working Group," which will work to punish those who administered "politicized justice" during the Biden administration. [...] https://pjmedia.com/robert-spencer/2025/02/05/winning-bondi-tackles-deep-state-orders-investigation-into-bidens-politicization-of-justice-dept-n4936715

Holy mackerel! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The USAID Scandal Is Getting Worse by the Minute The data is coming in so hot and fast today that it's all I can do not to fall behind too much, but the numbers all tell the same story: the Mainstream Legacy Media is a bought-and-paid-for arm of the Deep State. So while I was busy researching how more than $8 million in tax money went to Politico... ...you did see that story, didn't you? If not, here's the gist: [...] https://pjmedia.com/vodkapundit/2025/02/05/youll-never-believe-who-else-is-on-the-usaid-dole-n4936695

These clowns can't keep from flapping their gums. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JONATHAN TURLEY: NJ governor's immigration virtue signaling offers laughable lesson for Dems For years, engineers have cited Murphy’s Law that "anything that can go wrong will go wrong." The law is attributed to aerospace engineer Edward A. Murphy Jr. from the 1940s. However, this week, the law seems to have been re-written by New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy, who is under fire after suggesting that he may be sheltering an undocumented woman above his garage. Murphy was being interviewed by the liberal group Blue Wave New Jersey and thrilled his Democratic base by indicating that he had given sanctuary to an undocumented person in his home. It was a curious moment when, after promising sanctuary, Murphy not only appeared to out his guest but then taunted ICE to come and try to take her. After seemingly staking out the immigrant like a sacrificial goat in a lion hunt, Murphy's virtue signaling summoned the authorities. And now, the Iceman Cometh. [...] https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/jonathan-turley-nj-governors-immigration-virtue-signaling-offers-laughable-lesson-dems

The OP of this thread has undergone draconian administrative action. I propose that we lock this thread (a random jumble) in favor of specific threads existing & new. Does anyone object?

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man: Attended uneventful doc caucus, caucus we with MD he man man. Gassed semi-thirsty T-B.-mobile at Costco, such a gas man. Lunch was the Costco hot dog + (diet) Pepsi, ingest financially savvy we man. A siesta was taken thereafter, zzz we man. Set forth to rendezvous place agreed to with WPOR, set forth we man. Gridlocked traffic most of the way, man. We were going to be late regardless, man. Address turned out to be identical, and across town from, the correct address, man. We intrepidly continued to correct locale, persist we man. We stayed in text touch with the WPOR the whole time, seemingly understanding WPOR man. WPOR wasn't even inside restaurant, search we man. We texted, "Here," text we man. WPOR showed up a few minutes later, unsmiling WPOR man. We ordered din-din, si man. "I have to leave in Many minutes for an appointment," said the WPOR. We wondered about this, wonder we man. The whole Many minutes, the WPOR showed no indication of wanting to build rapport, zero man. She didn't smile even once, no man. She did, however, seem to think that we wanted to be her $ugar Daddy, what the dickens man. She even asked for $ for "respecting her time," what the ?!?!? man. She left as promised and without apology, and we felt hosed, finish din-din alone man. (Din-din was hot ziti, quite good ingest we man.) We paid for the whole thing and then left, bye man. We used up half-of-half of a gas tank, lucky we'd filled it man. We lost Many (2+2) hours of our time, lose we man. We had the stress of gridlocked traffic, stressed we man. We had just over half an hour on a bad din-din date, zero rapport man. We paid $Many for din-din and her overpriced beer, pay we man. We consider ourself to have been hosed, overentitled WPOR man. We are down to zero rubias and zero non-rubia prospects, start from scratch we man. At the casa, Mama T-B. called to beef about CDs, just choose one already man. She also demanded to know when we were going to find a wife, demand senior she man. If we'd told her about tonight, she'd have probably considered it our fault, guilt man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. On Thursday, must inspect Uncle T-B.'s swollen leg, complaining senior he man man. Must pick up desserts from Mama T-B. for Mini-B., order senior she man we man man. And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.

Trump Becomes First Fascist In History To Reduce Size Of Government WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has just become the first fascist in the history of humankind to use his despotic powers to reduce the size of the government. While most other fascist leaders throughout history have used their power to increase the scope of government influence in their respective countries, Trump has broken with tradition to become the very first fascist with a focus on dismantling his own government's overreaches. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-becomes-first-fascist-in-history-to-reduce-size-of-government

Wednesday! Time for our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== THE UNEXPECTED WINDFALL A woman in her late 40s got out of bed, stood up, and stretched, and a penny fell out of her private parts. She thought that it was odd, but she kept on with her morning routine. She went to put on a pot of coffee, and a nickel fell out of her privates. She was concerned, but she continued her morning routine. She drank her coffee and went to brush her teeth when a dime fell out of her privates. She became really concerned and thought to herself, "If anything else happens, I'm calling the doctor!" She got dressed and started to tidy up the house, and a quarter fell out of her privates. Concerned, she called her doctor. She told him about the penny, nickel, dime,and quarter. "No need to worry," he said. "You're just going through the change."

Eye-opening stuff -- and true. Comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If Presidents Can't Control Executive Agencies, Elections Are Fake The Department of Justice, FBI, and USAID are posing prominent test cases for how the Trump administration can reform a malignant federal bureaucracy. [...] https://thefederalist.com/2025/02/03/if-presidents-cant-control-executive-agencies-elections-are-fake/

This isn't "new" news, but perhaps it's worth some comments here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ America's "Marriage Material" Shortage https://www.msn.com/en-us/family-and-relationships/marriage/america-s-marriage-material-shortage/ar-AA1yk31z

This is wonderful. Even more optimal would be a place like Mauritania, Niger, or Western Sahara, which would be too far away for these clowns to try for U.S. re-entry. Australia used to be a penal colony, too...

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man: We spent the entire morn and half of afternoon researching CDs for Mama T-B., man. Lunch was onecan of Progresso "light" beef pot roast soup*, ingest we man. *bought at a previous ES, financially savvy we man Finally left casa for Many (2+2) errands in highly concentrated locale, errand we man. Din-din was Subway**, ingest we man. **WUOC + gift card, financially savvy we man A siesta was finally taken thereafter, awoke with headache we man. WPOR*** still apparently on for Wednesday rendezvous, rendezvous we with WPOR man. ***who maybe looks old but is well-preserved regardless of her age, si and Bro G man We will have to drive nearly Many (2+2) Manyzen miles one-way**** for this rendezvous, we man. ****in awful traffic, sigh man We will report whether this rubia is/was worth it, report we man. No party with the (existing) rubias tonight, no cavort ache-heading we man. Have routine doctor caucus midday Wednesday, caucus we man. And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

Assume nothing, no man! It depends on the definition of Many, man!

The above was split from a now-closed old thread in this forum.

Historic: Man Wins Argument With Woman U.S. — In an unprecedented, history-making moment, a man has won an argument with a woman. The man, who is also the President of the United States, is reportedly celebrating his victory after miraculously winning an argument over trade with Prime Minister Trudeau, the second female Prime Minister of Canada. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/historic-man-wins-argument-with-woman

Zelenskyy Asks U.S. For $20 Billion To Find Out Where That Missing $100 Billion Went KYIV — To date, the United States has allocated approximately $177 billion worth of aid to Ukraine, but the war-torn nation reports they have received less than half. Now Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy is asking for another $20 billion so he can find out what happened to the $101 billion dollars that was somehow lost. "In order to locate the missing funds, we will need more funds," said Zelenskyy. "That's just basic economics. And if you don't give it to us then you hate Ukraine and democracy." Given that the money would have arrived in the form of humanitarian aid or weapons, some officials have questioned exactly how Zelenskyy can be so sure he was shorted the funds, to which he replied, "I don't know, that's what I need the $20 billion for." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/zelenskyy-asks-us-for-20-billion-to-find-out-where-that-100-billion-went

Punxsutawney Phil Deported After Birth Certificate Reveals He's From Canada PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA — Beloved groundhog Punxsutawney Phil has been deported back to Canada after the rodent failed to produce the needed paperwork at this year's Groundhog Day celebration. "It was awkward, for sure," ICE Agent David Scranton said. "We had to apprehend him right before they were able to determine anything about the shadow thing so no one knows if there's going to be six more weeks of winter. Sorry America, but [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/punxsutawney-phil-deported-after-birth-certificate-reveals-hes-actually-canadian

Illegal Immigrants Helpfully Wave Flags So ICE Knows Where To Send Them U.S. — As deportation efforts continued to ramp up across the United States, several hundred illegal immigrants took to the streets and helpfully waved the flags of their home countries so ICE would know where to send them. ICE agents thanked the illegals for simplifying the process, making it much easier to know where they came from and what planes to load them on. "It makes our jobs a lot easier," said immigration agent Hank Simpson. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/illegal-immigrants-helpfully-wave-flags-so-ice-knows-where-to-send-them

This is genuinely wondrous! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Little Boys' and 'MAGA Chuds' In Charge of Your Money Identified, and They're Brilliant As Twitchy just reported, WIRED did all but doxx six young men working for Elon Musk's DOGE agency. WIRED listed their names, education, and work experience. As someone in that thread said, this is what the Left would call "stochastic terrorism" — just putting the information out there in the matter of the "public interest" while painting targets on their backs for the unhinged. We considered not running this post because it contains the names and photos (yes, they've already dug up photos) of the DOGE team. The information's out there, though, and here is what people are doing with it. [...] https://twitchy.com/brettt/2025/02/03/little-boys-and-maga-chuds-in-charge-of-your-money-identified-n2407797

Trump to South Africa: No More Money for You Unless You Stop Doing 'Terrible Things' Donald Trump spent a lot of the first day of his administration issuing executive orders that dealt the getting rid of DEI in the government, improving education, ordering all federal employees working remotely to get back to work, releasing the JFK and MLK assassination files, and so much more. If you think that wasn't enough to accomplish in the almost two weeks since he was inaugurated, he's also been making waves on the international scene—big waves. He got Venezuela's Nicolás Maduro to take back his citizens who are here in the U.S. illegally, he just got the Panamanian president to agree to reduce Chinese influence over the Canal, and he imposed large tariffs on Canada and Mexico. Whew. But he wasn't done, and on Sunday, he announced that he would be pulling any funding for South Africa because he believes the government is unlawfully confiscating land from its own citizens. He took to Truth Social to announce his intentions: [...] https://redstate.com/bobhoge/2025/02/02/trump-to-south-africa-no-more-money-for-you-unless-you-stop-doing-terrible-things-n2185127

Scalps like this need to be taken. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ DHS Resistance Leader Burned in Hidden Camera Video Detailing How They Will Fight Kristi Noem [...] Across the federal government, we hear stories of resistance brewing. The stories are probably exaggerated but real nonetheless. And every once in a while, one of the goobers gets out over their skis and gets burned. This one, thanks to James O'Keefe and the poor girl who had to go on a date with him. The target was a guy named Brandon Wright, who is a GS-14 IT manager at the Department of Homeland Security. https://redstate.com/streiff/2025/02/03/dhs-resistance-leader-burned-in-hidden-camera-video-detailing-how-they-will-fight-kristi-noem-n2185168

Trump is sending the Deep State to the outhouse as he cleans house at the FBI and DOJ [...] Heads are spinning in Washington at the shock-and-awe tactics of Trump 2.0. You can hear the panic in the high pitch of Deep State voices as they run squealing to CNN and MSNBC. [...] https://nypost.com/2025/02/02/opinion/trump-is-sending-the-deep-state-to-the-outhouse-as-he-cleans-house-at-the-fbi-and-doj/