TBoneTX

Come back here to let us know how things went. Advance welcome to the Colonies.

Did you compare prices with Chewy.com, huh ma'am? Chewy has one of the best-ever websites and certainly the best customer service of anywhere. Cat T-B. (a.k.a. the Little Piglet) has an autoship of Fancy Feast due tomorrow, and just in time.

Friday ES report, see man: We attended all Many ESs, diligent we man. All were duds, oh well man. Total = $0

This is precisely the way that you and everyone should do it. Great thinking.

Thrilling Thursday-on-Friday report, see man: Lunch was Many (2+1) cotto salami sandwiches on Aldi honey-wheat bread, ingest we man. Ran 2 important snack-food missions to supermarkets, crucial man. Siesta'd, zzz we man. Din-din was cod-burgers* and nuked canned corn, ingest Two Guys man. *air-fried Costco breaded-cod pieces on Costco hamburger buns This was our "din-din of challenge," knew that Mini-B. would beef man. Indeed, Mini-B. objected mightily, eat-pickily wee man. We told him that if he objected to the menu, to learn to cook, si man. Mini-B. decided to eat the cod and the buns separately, complain progressively less wee man. At the end, he had up-eaten almost everything, victory over wee man we man man. He even high-Many'd (high-[2+2+1]'d) us, victory over wee man we man man. The next 2 menus will be slam-dunks, Mini-B. likes them man. Monthly auto-order of miu-food came up for editing today, si deliver it tomorrow si si si man. We have only about 2 days of miu-meals remaining, need to restock now man. We have itineraried Many (2+1) local ESs for Friday, not much choice man. Mini-B. has a stupid "Health Day" at skool that he wants to skip, secretly don't blame we man wee man. We figure that we can get at least our Many ESs in before Mini-B. calls us to retrieve him early, know wee man we man. (Next weekend is FST citywide GS, rain forecast both days again this year man. ) No party with the rubias tonight, let them suffer not cavorting with us man.

Ironically, it's also National Breast Implant Awareness Day. Perhaps that fits in with IWD.

It's also National Biobased Products Day: https://www.biopreferred.gov/BioPreferred/faces/pages/NBPD.xhtml?fbclid=IwAR0qXz-zfWaUmIeZZQNIT9x5eYZAVFfZ2CC24hNQXJ1Ma_aUxvxSmdSHPxM Even more crucial, it's National Proofreading Day. On this day, NB emerges and, whether or not he sees his shadow, there will be 6 more decades of badd speling.

How true! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Midwestern Town Considers Adding 4th Crushingly Mediocre Mexican Restaurant [...] decision-makers considered whether or not the town should add a fourth crushingly mediocre Mexican restaurant. While proponents of the addition argue that having only three astoundingly average Mexican dining options was holding the city back from the growth it would need to climb the list of prominent Midwestern towns, opponents of the move argued that the city already has enough painfully underwhelming Mexican restaurants. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/midwestern-town-considers-adding-4th-crushingly-mediocre-mexican-restaurant

White House Explains Security Fence Around Capitol Is To Keep President From Wandering Off Grounds During Speech [...] The chainlink fencing appeared around the Capitol earlier this week, in what many assumed was an effort to keep rioters out of the building during the President's annual State Of The Union address. White House aides assured D.C. residents they don't expect violence and that they're just trying to avoid another presidential Silver Alert. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-explains-security-fence-around-capitol-is-to-keep-president-from-wandering-off-grounds-during-state-of-union

Biden Proudly Announces He Has Eliminated Junk Fees For All Migrants Staying In NY Hotels [...] "Folks, we got it done! As of today, not a single Somali, Iranian, or breakfast taco will be charged a single unfair hotel fee for the duration of their stay, which will likely be at least until after the November election," said Biden to a crowd of rapturously cheering journalists. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-proudly-announces-he-has-eliminated-junk-fees-for-all-migrants-staying-in-ny-hotels

Joe Biden's State of the Union Was the Most Unhinged and Angry in History In completely unsurprising fashion, Joe Biden arrived 20 minutes late for his own State of the Union on Thursday. Once he finally took the podium, it became clear that he shouldn't have shown up at all. Perhaps it was a screw-up on the dosage by his drug cocktail team, but Biden spent the first half hour of the speech screaming uncontrollably, while intermittently coughing and slurring his words. It was surreal and by far, the most unhinged and angriest State of the Union in history. There will no doubt be headlines proclaiming otherwise, and they will be false. [...] https://redstate.com/bonchie/2024/03/07/joe-bidens-state-of-the-union-was-the-most-unhinged-and-angry-in-history-n2171090

Pro-Hamas Agitators Block Biden's Motorcade Route to Capitol; How Could This Be Allowed? [...] Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) and Rep. Tom Tiffany (R-WI) posted photos and videos Thursday morning of security fencing that had been installed around the Capitol grounds "in the dead of night" to protect Biden from his own base, so obviously Capitol Police and federal law enforcement knew that there was a potential for problems. So why were they allowed to take over the street until right before POTUS drove down it? This is a massive security issue. Explosives could have easily been planted and there's no way the Secret Service could have done a thorough sweep to ensure security. [...] https://redstate.com/jenvanlaar/2024/03/07/pro-hamas-agitators-block-bidens-motorcade-route-to-capitol-how-could-this-be-allowed-n2171092

Watching Republican response to SOTU. Sorry, NB, but Katie Britt is rather massively cuter than Hillary, Pelosi, AOC, and all your other crushes. And she's quite authentic, including her anger.

Was following the live blog on Redstate.com. Best comment there was, "I want to see the tox report [on Bidementia]."

Guy Entering US Illegally Explains Why He's Wearing a 'Biden-Harris' T-Shirt (Put This in a GOP Ad) [...] One man crossing into the U.S. illegally explained why he was sporting a Biden-Harris t-shirt: [...] https://twitchy.com/dougp/2024/03/07/guy-entering-us-illegally-explains-why-hes-wearing-a-biden-harris-t-shirt-put-this-in-a-gop-ad-n2393717

You KNOW Biden's Southern Border Is a DISASTER When Reuters Asks Babylon Bee If Their Border Joke Is TRUE The Babylon Bee is really good at what they do. So good, in fact, that Reuters emailed their Editor-in-Chief, Kyle Mann, to ask if their story about ballot boxes installed at the border wall was true. [...] https://twitchy.com/samj/2024/03/07/reuters-contacts-bee-over-story-ballot-boxes-n2393690

I still want to know who's funding these illegals as they travel -- who's paying for food, diapers, medicine, and baths. I'm especially curious how these people always seem to be well-dressed in clean clothes when they come across the river -- shouldn't they be filthy and bedraggled? The first answer should be to the question of who supplied them with the "Biden, Let Us In!" t-shirts that so many were wearing early during this invasion.

Yee-HAAAAA! [Note to T-B.'s self: Jokes worked again... jokes worked again... ]

Wonderful! Thanks for returning with the happy update.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Local Man Thankful Americans Fought Revolutionary War So He Doesn't Have To Call Cookies 'Biscuits' MADISON, WI — As he prepared to complete his lunch by enjoying a delicious chocolate chip cookie, a local man was profoundly thankful that American colonists fought the Revolutionary War so he didn't have to call cookies "biscuits." Ned Burke, a journeyman plumber and lifelong cookie fan, expressed his tremendous gratitude for the sacrifice made by American revolutionaries over two centuries ago [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/local-man-thankful-americans-fought-revolutionary-war-so-he-doesnt-have-to-call-cookies-biscuits

Raytheon Lowers Flags To Half-Staff After Nikki Haley Drops Out WALTHAM, MA — A somber mood fell over one of the nation's foremost defense contractors this morning, as Raytheon lowered its flags to half-staff after Nikki Haley announced she was dropping out of the 2024 presidential race. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/raytheon-lowers-flags-to-half-staff-after-nikki-haley-drops-out

With Daniel Penny Arrested, NYC Forced To Deploy National Guard To Protect Subway NEW YORK — With Daniel Penny unavailable after being arrested for protecting New York's subway system, Governor Kathy Hochul officially deployed the National Guard to protect New York's subway system. "We desperately need the National Guard to come do exactly what we arrested Daniel Penny for doing," announced Governor Hochul. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/with-daniel-penny-arrested-nyc-forced-to-deploy-national-guard-to-protect-subway

Biden Congratulates His Opponent On A Hard-Fought Primary Race WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brief statement to reporters following the Super Tuesday contests, a victorious President Joe Biden congratulated his opponent on a hard-fought primary race. "I'd like to thank this fella here," Biden said, gesturing to the empty void on his right. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-congratulates-his-opponent-on-a-hard-fought-primary-race

More drama from Karine Grey-Poupon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WATCH: Karine Jean-Pierre Loses Her Mind, Goes Full Karen When Pressed on Biden Notecard Addiction [...] How quickly come out the catty "let me speak to your manager" Karen vibes. [...] https://pjmedia.com/benbartee/2024/03/06/watch-karine-jean-pierre-loses-her-mind-goes-full-karen-when-asked-about-biden-notecards-question-n4927088

Several of these truly are surprises, many of them pleasant. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Insurgent Republicans make major gains in Texas primaries The shockwaves rippled up and down the ballot as incumbent state House members, judges and other state leaders were forced into runoffs or defeated outright. [...] https://www.texastribune.org/2024/03/06/texas-primaries-gop-incumbents-defeated/