TBoneTX

Wednesday -- time for our hilarious, uplifting, approval-evoking* Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: *that is, if correlation = causation ================================== THE FARMER AND THE PIG FOOD A government man approached a pig farmer and asked him what he was feeding his pigs. The farmer answered, "Oh, the pigs? I just feed them whatever scraps I have lying around." The government man said, "Sir, that is animal cruelty! I'll have to fine you $10,000!" The next day, another official approached the farmer and asked him what he fed his pigs. The farmer replied, "Oh, the pigs? Only the finest products, sir! Caviar, artisanal cheeses, and hand-picked organic salads!" The government man said, "Sir, that food is way too rich for them -- they'll get sick! I'll have to fine you $10,000!" The next day, another government man approached the farmer and asked him what he fed his pigs. The farmer answered, "Oh, the pigs? I just give them 20 bucks each and let them shop for themselves."

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man: Breakfast was the last Many (2+1) slices of 'roni 'za, ingest while off-fending interested miu we man. Met Many-year-old chica in early afternoon, meet we and she man. Very cute* and much rapport, obvious man. *despite being far from a rubia, forgiven in her case man We shall see her again, si to see she man man. Late siesta attempted, partially successful man. Late din-din was Tuna Glop**, ingest we man. **rice bought at a previous ES, financially savvy we man Another Many-year-old chica wants to see us on Saturday, cooperate we man. No party with the rubias tonight, cavort with cute chica earlier we man. Wednesday is Thanksgiving lunch*** at ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s, over-ingest certainly we man. ***ex-Mrs.-T-B. probably lunching with the Rojo on Thursday, presume we man And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

This is the fastest, most interesting 19-minute video that I've seen in some time. 1. I've always respected farmers as highly as people in any other profession. 2. I wonder whether Caterpillar and Kubota do the same as John Deere. 3. The female narrator is mighty cute!

Lotta stuff all over Ohio that needs remediation. It's frightening.

I'd think twice before investing even the $30.

Heartbreaking and enraging, simultaneously.

Wimp, who lives on a peninsula, too, no less. Costco sardines are high-quality and quite tasty, ingest whenever miu isn't looking we man.

She's blonde, Boiler, so all of us men should simply Shut Up.

Thread is moved from the K-1 Process forum to the Social Security Numbers subforum.

*** Thread is moved from the Removing Conditions forum to the Effects of Major Changes forum. *** Welcome to the forum, and sorry to hear this. Your thread is being moved to a forum where these situations are often discussed. People will be along to help!

Elon Waiting For Black Friday Half-Off Sale So He Can Buy MSNBC For Just $30 [...] Always in search of a good deal, the world's wealthiest man was reportedly eager to jump on a sweet Black Friday price and get the network for a steal instead of paying full price. Musk said you don't become wealthy without knowing how to shop for the biggest discount. "I'm always on the lookout for a good bargain," Musk reportedly told his inner circle. "I'm open to the idea of buying MSNBC, but nobody wants to pay full price for anything around this time of year. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/elon-waiting-for-black-friday-half-off-sale-so-he-can-buy-msnbc-for-just-30

For once, all of these are great! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8 Better Things To Argue About During Thanksgiving Than Politics In a few days, Americans across the nation will be slaving away in the kitchen, setting the table, and launching headlong into heated arguments with their blood relatives. But with many families tired of the same old political disagreements, new argument topics are sorely needed. The Babylon Bee is here to solve this dilemma by offering up the following list of better things to argue about this Thanksgiving than politics: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/8-better-things-to-argue-about-during-thanksgiving-than-politics

Study Shows Most Depression In Men Can Be Solved By Reading Books About The Civil War While Sitting By Roaring Fire In The Study CAMBRIDGE, MA — In what experts praised as a significant breakthrough in the field of mental health, a new study showed that most cases of depression in men can be solved by reading books about the Civil War while sitting by a roaring fire in the study. The research data compiled showed a direct link between reading epic historical accounts of Civil War events while sitting by a fire and finding relief from the crushing weight of depression, giving millions of struggling men hope that help was just one book away. "Reading historical epics next to a crackling fire showed remarkable results," said Professor Ellis Kensington [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/study-shows-most-depression-in-men-can-be-solved-by-reading-books-about-the-civil-war-while-sitting-by-roaring-fire-in-the-study

Santa's Elves Complain Of Declining Wages As Undocumented Elves Flood North Pole NORTH POLE — Elves in Santa's workshop marched out in protest this week to voice their complaints about declining wages due to an influx of undocumented elves flooding the North Pole. Several longtime members of Santa's toy assembly staff logged a formal complaint with the shop's elven resources department after yet another busload of undocumented elves from the south arrived. "Someone has to put a stop to this," Lead Elf Reggie Smallbottom told reporters. "We just got back online after Covid pretty much wiped out our earnings and then — BAMMO — here come all these elves flooding in from [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/santas-elves-complain-of-declining-wages-as-undocumented-elves-flood-north-pole

Yes! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'The View' Ratings Soar After Introducing Ejection Seat For When Hosts Make Inaccurate Statements NEW YORK, NY — Following what had been a tumultuous election season and notable instances of panel members having to read legal notes on the air, the rating for The View soared after producers introduced ejection seats for when hosts make inaccurate statements. The seats were implemented this week as a new feature to deal with the mounting controversy surrounding members of the host panel making inflammatory claims that would later have to be retracted. Under the show's new format, any host found to have made an inaccurate statement will immediately be ejected from the set. "It's an exciting new wrinkle that will shake things up," said producer Brian Teta. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/the-view-ratings-soar-after-introducing-ejection-seat-for-when-hosts-make-inaccurate-statements

One of the BB's finest ever! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's Official: Trump Now Has Hottest Cabinet Of All Time [...] Trump has quickly assembled his roster of officials as he prepared to commence his second term as president, drawing strong reactions from analysts who hailed his team as by far the sexiest cabinet in American history. "I just can't stop ogling his picks, especially that Border Czar," said one political expert. "We've always known that Trump had an affinity for surrounding himself with beautiful people, but this new cabinet takes the cake. Not even the astounding mustaches and mutton chops found in the Martin Van Buren administration can hold a candle to this. Caroline Leavitt, Tulsi Gabbard, Pam Bondi, Tom Homan. That's an all-star team of hotness if I've ever seen one." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/its-official-trump-now-has-hottest-cabinet-of-all-time

Curiosity Cracked Open a Rock on Mars And Found a Big Surprise A rock on Mars spilled a surprising yellow treasure after Curiosity accidentally cracked through its unremarkable exterior. When the rover rolled its 899-kilogram (1,982-pound) body over the rock back in May, the rock broke open, revealing [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/curiosity-cracked-open-rock-mars-110316725.html

Like I said, a British thing that mere Colonists can't figure out.

Or be flogged or executed by firing squad, either of these in public.

That happened to me once on the jetway to a flight to Ecu. Some agent who didn't identify himself asked how much cash I was carrying. I said, "I gave some to my wife, so let me think... one thousand, six hundred..." The guy cut me off and wished me a good trip.

Life needs to be far fairer than it too often is.

I think that "Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too" is more accurately "Tippecanoe and Get Wet, Too!"

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man. ------- Thrilling Monday-on-Tuesday report, see man: Many-year-old chica was a waste of time, won't even meet her man. We were bummed but really shouldn't have been, saved ourself a lot of time man. Breakfast/lunch/din-din (at Many [2+2] p.m.) was a large 'roni 'za*, blow diet we man. *bought on special, financially savvy we man An overslept siesta was then taken, over-zzz we man. Replaced Many (2+1) laser-printer cartridges, we man. Arranged Starbucks rendezvous on Tuesday with Many-year-old chica, not a rubia man. And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.

Biden Administration Leaves More Disasters To Clean Up [...] On the national front, despite their intentional refusal to guard the border or even vet illegal immigrants, having played a part in their electoral defeat earlier this month, Democrats have decided to make enforcement of our laws harder for their successors. [...] https://amac.us/newsline/society/biden-administration-leaves-more-disasters-to-clean-up/

NYC migrant allegedly throws pal's beloved pit bull off 14th-floor balcony -- and walks free: 'Murdered my dog for no reason' A Brooklyn migrant was busted -- and released -- for allegedly throwing a 2-year-old pooch to its death from a 14th-floor balcony earlier this month, leaving the dog's owner traumatized over the ruthless murder. [...] https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/nyc-migrant-allegedly-throws-pal-s-beloved-pit-bull-off-14th-floor-balcony-and-walks-free-murdered-my-dog-for-no-reason/ar-AA1ux2tt?ocid=BingNewsSerp