milimelo

Okay well going directly from what you just said then, you said that you agree that the name change via marriage isn't legal until the SSN is changed, that is wrong for immigrants specifically. For a US citizen they can't change their DL until they change their SSN so it makes sense that the SSN is the important document there.
For an immigrant the important docs are the status documents for us. Our passport, EAD, GC or whatever. Once we're an LPR we need to make sure our name matches our US docs. Some people have been fine with not having their passport matching their other docs or what not but it does get congfusing I think. Your SSN does at least need to match your EAD/GC for tax purposes (found that out :S). There is NO NEED to change your SSN until you feel like it, or when you're working (again for tax reasons).
Personally I didn't change mine till November 2010 but got my GC in July 2010 (in my married name). That's my point, for a US citizen it matters, for an immigrant it doesn't. The SSN is irrelevant to us until we're in possession of an EAD or are an LPR. The only ID I had in my married name was my EAD/GC. Then eventually I started looking for work so I got aroudn to changing my SSN. I changed my Aussie passport while I was visiting there in Sept 2010. Then April 2011 I finally got a DL... Like I said, for a US citizen the SSN might be the controlling document, for IMMIGRANTS its their status docs. Example, you get pulled over by police, what ID do you flash? Your SSN? No. Your EAD/GC? Yes. If your EAD says your name is X then it's X, they're not gunna check your SSN. You have a DL it'll match your SSN, so it COULD be in your maiden name still if like me you hadn't changed it, but your GC/proof of status is more important so to them whatever THAT says is your legal name.

Fanta, I have no opinion on this matter, but this is what I am asking of the posters (naysayers) since Fanta has no job, which generally means no income, how do you propose that he feed these two children? I am quite sure he would take donations if you'll would like to offer up some.
The mother would probably have a better chance of feeding and keeping her children safer back in her own home country where she has family and friends, than to be stuck here with no help. Before you'll continue to judge this poster about his decisions look at all of the facts. Yes, I am in agreement that a lot of facts have been left out, but that was the posters choice.

I can solve all of these problems for you. First, withdraw the petition. You can do this anytime by notifying USCIS in writing. Second, send all your money to me. You'll never have to worry again about any Filipina being interested only in your money.
A personal check will be fine.

I hate to say this bluntly, but I don't know another way: Your lawayer is DEAD WRONG!! On more than one thing. First, he/she says that to wait until August 14th, as if after that date a new option is ADDED that wasn't there before. This is patently FALSE. What is happening on August 14th is NOT the ability to file at the Chicago Lockbox- this has alwyas been an option. What is happening on August 14th is the TAKING AWAY of the option to file DCF at a Consulate abroad (except for countries with USCIS office), meaning after that date people MUST file in Chicago. This is a blantant mistake for any lawyer to make.
In addition, your lawyer advises you to file in Chicago and NOT DCF in New Zealand. This is just beyond my comprehension. It is a well-established fact that DCF is significantly faster. DCF processing times vary by Consulate, but for most, it is between 2 and 5.5 months from I-130 filing to visa interview. When filing an I-130 petition in the US, the approval time JUST FORE THE I-130- never mind all the steps afterward at NVC and then the eMbassy/Consulate- IS FIVE MONTHS ALONE. These processing times can be found on many of the Consulates themselves, never mind about reading here on VJ and seeing the processing times of DCFers.
In your situation it's a no-brainer. Filce DCF NOW in New Zealand before the Aug. 14 deadline, and get rid of that lawyer ASAP! Get whatever money back you can from him/her and be gone. Most people here will tell you that you don't need a lawyer at all if the case is relatively straightforward, let alone one that clearly knows nothing.
Good luck with your journey!

She doesn't want to withdraw because he has a kid. What she's asking is if it's better to withdraw then get denied at the interview for not putting the child on the previous paperwork. The child was a surprise to both of them.
I don't think it matters, I would just say get the DNA test like everyone has suggested and then if the child is his add her to it with proof that the DNA test was recent and you were both unaware.

To be honest I do not see any negative comments here. People just saying how it is and what he needs to do in order to achieve his goal. This is not psychological helpline. This is a place to get help on advice. In this particular case comments like yours, while making OP feel good, are dangerous giving wrong sense of security. Basically, you are hurting OP by suggesting applying for waiver and wasting both time (!) and a lot of money (!). Either way two facts remain:
1) You will not get hardship waiver to get to bypass meeting requirement. 0 chance. Basically, you will waste your time and I129F application fee which can be better used to meet in person.
2) You will have to pay overall ~$3K ($350 I129F, $200 visa fee, $1,000 for one way ticket, $180 medical, $1070 for AOS. No way around it.
3) Even if I129F approved there is no way embassy will approve. Money wasted, time wasted.
4) During AOS your brother in law will have to sign binding affidavit of support. I864. This means that if during 10 years you or your fiancee become public charge (which you agree is possible), he will be charged this amount. Once he learns about binding nature of support I do not know if he will agree to this.
The reason why people with experience giving this advice is because THEY WENT THROUGH THE PROCESS and know what it involves. Your advice will lead to wasted money and time.
If you want to listen to reasonable advice:
1)save money ($5K, should be enough for travel plus process), get another job (maybe 2nd job), travel to Lithuania. Make lots of pictures, with her parents, etc. Fly back apply for K1.
2) Move to Lithuania, get married, live there for 3 months, get a job there possibly, apply for CR1 (possibly DCF if allowed)
These are real two choices in your situation. The rest - just waste of time and money.

I agree on the DNA test- both for his sake (there is a chance the mom is naming him now just because she thinks it is a way for the child into the USA), and as an explanation why you didn't list the child on the forms.

Can we say DNA test!

DCF will not be an option after August 15th, there is no USCIS field office in Nigeria. You could live there, but you would still have to send the I-130 to the lockbox in Chicago.
USCIS Public Announcement

Absolutely, si man. It's illegal for any of us here to practice (psychiatric) medicine without a license. And are you a licensed mental-health professional who has the wherewithal to make a diagnosis of this sort? How about "My relationship is dysfunctional, and we're either seeking professional counseling together or I'm calling it off and sending her home for both our sakes"?Edited to add: And why are you posing such questions here instead of on a mental-health forum board?
Finally, in answer to
Don't marry her. Asking such a question is proof positive that there's no foundation for a functional relationship.

It is time to talk to your nearest psychologist about BPD, diagnosis and treatment options for it.

There is no reason to take offense at my comments, I was not being critical of you.
For her to become an LPR nowish she will need more than to simply be in the country before she turns 21. She needs to be here and have filed for AOS. Put simply that isn't going to happen.
I was critical of the USCIS Misinformation line and the drivel they fed you.
I'll repeat what I said:
If she arrives in the US before her 21st birthday...
Your US Citizen Husband can't petition for her because he married you after her 18th birthday.
You can petition her but since you are an LPR she will be in a family preference category and no immediate Visa number is available so she will have to wait years for a Visa number. While waiting she can't simply overstay her visa because the overstay would actually make her inadmissible and bar her AOS.
By the time you become a US Citizen, she will be over 21 and again subject to a family preference category.
If by positive feedback only you mean you want someone to tell you that you can get her here before her 21st birthday and then get her LPR status then no honest VJ member will give you that.
Even if you were able to get an expedite (which I can't imagine for this reason) getting from initial petition approval through the NVC to Consulate processing in 4 weeks is simply physically impossible.

Phil,
if you two do not get along and you are not happy with each other... Is it important who's fault it is and who might have what sickness and what the reasons are? I did not get impression that you were madly in love with each other ever...
Don't get married. Buy her tickets to get home and make sure you restore everything for her back to pre-Phil days as much as you can. That would be a kind and reasonable thing to do.
Why would you want to get married and continue to hurt each other??? If you don't fit together, then you don't fit together.

Make your way to the Removal of Conditions forum - plenty of VJ members in your situation who successfully removed conditions and received 10-yr green card.
Go to uscis.gov and under forms find I-751 - read the form and instructions then start gathering evidence for filing ROC.
Good luck, you'll be ok.

You just follow normal DV processing as if the O visa didn't exist. You aren't exactly switching - you haven't activated your O visa and your job fell through. If you wanted to use it you would need a new employer and an amended I-129 form.

Sachinsky,
The list looks good, just keep adding more statements as you keep getting them.
I would like suggest you get a state ID if you don't want to get a drivers license as I have noticed a lot of people getting RFE's for drivers license. This would also show proof of same address and would also save you as having a government ID instead of carrying your gc and/or passport as identification.

If they denied because of the affidavit of support then you've missed something. Maybe the evidence of income wasn't sufficient. I have no idea without actually knowing precisely what you sent, the exact wording on the RFE's, and what you sent in response. It's also possible you may not be interpreting the evidence the same way USCIS is interpreting it. For example, a self-employed person with gross revenues of $42,000 per year would likely NOT have an annual income of $42,000, since their income is determined after their business expenses are deducted. Is your joint sponsor self-employed? If so, where did you get the income figure of $42,000? Did it come from line 22 on their IRS form 1040?
It's $110 to file an EOIR-29, which is an appeal of a denied visa petition with the Board of Immigration Appeals. An adjustment of status application is not a visa petition - you cannot appeal a denied adjustment of status. A motion to reopen requires form I-290B, and the filing fee is $630.
If the medical is expired then you'd need to have another medical. The medical expires after either six months or one year, depending on the country where the medical was originally done.
Seriously, consider hiring an immigration lawyer to help you finish this. Do-it-yourself immigration is not for everyone. Getting an RFE means you missed something. Getting two RFE's means you missed quite a bit. Being denied after getting two RFE's means you don't know what you're doing, and you need some help.

J1 is a employement visa, its not a visa to stay in US forever. You have to return to your home country when your period is over.

Best advice would be to contact woman's shelters and Catholic Charities, tell them your situation. Honestly though I think any VAWA claim you may have would be very thin as you really can't prove any abuse.

You caused ur denial, i'm sorry. You were asked to obtain another co sponsor which u neglect.. Well, u cant treat government issues with impunity. Get it right!

Messybrownhair,
Congrats on the AOS, I used to see you on AOS, and now you are already on the otherside!!
Anyway, if you interested, you may look up expedited citizenship if you want to join your husband abroad. I know if your spouse is deployed for more than 1 years and you have intentions of joining him, then I believe you can apply for expedited citizenship. I am not sure but I dont think the 3 year for citizenship applies to military personnel and families.
If its something you may be interested in, I suggest you check it out!

You're resurrecting 5-year old thread and asking a member who was NOT on this board since 2007 for a link?
Just googling what he referenced I was able to find the information. I imagine you can do the same.

I suggest USCitizen Spouse file the I-130 soonish, for CR-1 visa, interview in Montreal.
You keep crossing until interview day.
IMO, if you return from Canada and try to file AOS, will be immigration fraud.

You were misinformed at USCIS - btw, you do not file a petition with e local office, you read the instructions and send it to Chicago Lockbox.
You have no basis for adjustment of status as spouse is LPR. File ONLY I-130 and in the meantime stay in student status until the visa number is available. Follow priority dates on visa bulletin (state.gov) and when your number is current you can file I-485 with a copy of your I-130 notice.

You were misinformed at USCIS - btw, you do not file a petition with e local office, you read the instructions and send it to Chicago Lockbox.
You have no basis for adjustment of status as spouse is LPR. File ONLY I-130 and in the meantime stay in student status until the visa number is available. Follow priority dates on visa bulletin (state.gov) and when your number is current you can file I-485 with a copy of your I-130 notice.