OptimusSpice

Wow! Some really harsh judgments in here on this one!  Everyone is wired differently.  Some people do really well in LDRs.  Other's struggle with it.  Just because it's easy for some, does not make it easy for others.  Being former military, I can assure that this process is very different from a "deployment" (for those that think just because soldiers do this that makes this somehow less painful). There have been times when the waiting and the distance - and the waiting without any real information regarding the process - no "day to count down to", so many things just in "limbo" indefinitely - it's broken me down completely.  Texts where tone gets read wrong, little things that would not have even become an issue if handled face to face becoming big things, unintentionally taking the pain and stress of distance out on each other, the pure exhaustion (neither of us sleep well apart, but together we slept soooo well), etc and so on.....  My fiance and I are both very "high touch" love language people.  We both have baggage from previous relationships (who doesn't really?).  Everyone has issues in varying degrees.  Neither of us are wired or built for LDR.  And there have been times when we really thought it would break us.  Ultimately, we both came to see that it doesn't matter what happens - we can't live without each other.  We could breathe in and breathe out and go through the motions of life - but we'd feel dead inside.  We don't want to even consider a life without each other, so no matter what we face - we face it together knowing that "our day" will come.  I understand the OP's lament.  I don't hear "weak relationship between two people with issues who wouldn't work out in the long run anyway".  I hear a person in pain, a pain that so many of us in this forum have felt and still feel.  While there may not be an answer to the OPs question, I can at least say "You're not alone.  Yes, the waiting is a special kind of hell.  It's made me vomit, lose sleep, cry at random on the bad days,  and hurt with a pain I didn't know was possible.  Hang in there!  Eventually the time WILL pass and you WILL get to be together and one day you'll look back at how long these days felt and they will be only a small percentage of the years shared together building a life.  Try to remember, especially during times of conflict with your partner, it's not "You vs Them but "You BOTH together vs the problem".  Sometimes it just hurts and it's easy to transfer that onto your partner. Try to learn to simply breathe and say "It hurts to be apart".  Embrace it, feel it, validate it - then let it pass.  Each day is a new day and it's one day closer!  

My answer would be deleted for violation of TOS

IK. They are just not very straight. Kind of crooked really.

Another relevant haiku:
 
"As a chick, I don't
know what leaning feels like, so
I'll take the guy's words."

I see what you did there...
 
(but yes, my mind goes to the same place when people refer to their political views as “leaning”)

I too am a conservative and also a patriot and being both or either does not preclude me from seeing areas outside of our country that could benefit our society. Only a fool closes their eyes to opportunity.  I am also a veteran, I remember spending 5 years of my life in Germany, the vestiges of an occupying army but also an ally allowing the West German country (another pesky reminder of the times) to retool their country, offer universal healthcare and advanced educational opportunities to its citizenry on the money they saved from their self defense. A status of forces agreement that set the exchange rate to not be able to rise above 4.5DM to the dollar at a time when the market rate would have been hundreds of DM to the USD. There is your definition of American exceptionalism, rebuilding, repatriating and propping up a country that declared war on us and was utterly defeated, unable to feed itself. I will date myself now, I was there in the 70's early 80's when there was an East/West Germany a visit to the non American/English supported portion was enlightening, probably one of the reasons I am still a patriot, I have seen the goodness that results from our American exceptionalism.

So in your world, those that live in suburban, or rural areas should not count at all?  Thank God the founding fathers did what they did.  There are a lot of countries (Canada, the UK, Australia) using a parliamentary system of government where the people do not vote directly for their head of state, or their upper house.  There are also countries that vote directly for their head of state such as Russia, or Venezuela.  How is that working out for them?

Hmrph...well...we do live in this Republic that was founded by a bunch of slave owning white guys who were intolerant of transgender issues.  So everything written in the Constitution is classified as hate speech and therefore null and void.  ~sarc~

The Senate and the House of Representatives are about checks and balances.  While each state elects two senators, each state is divided up into congressional districts represented roughly by population.  
 
So while both California and Wyoming have two senators each, California has 53 congressional seats in the House while Wyoming has a grand total of 1.
 
The United States is not a democracy, it's a Constitutional Republic.

Actually yes there is.  It's called CRIMINAL ACTIVITY.  If I were to drive drunk and get arrested, I would be separated from my children.  If I was putting my children in danger - they would be taken from me.  
 
Please tell me how it is the fault of the USA that these families are getting separated?  Who exactly put them in this position?  Call me an ignorant white girl, but the families that are bypassing the laws and trying to force their entry illegally and are using their children as tools to try and manipulate us are the ones bearing the weight of the full responsibility for the situation.  How is it different than a terrorist organization hiding in hospitals or schools?  Manipulation is manipulation.  Boundaries are boundaries.  In any interaction - person to person, city to city, nation to nation - Those who want to violate boundaries get angry and act like the victim when those who enforce their boundaries refuse to be manipulated.  Enforcing boundaries is not cruel or inhumane.  Using children to try to manipulate an agenda is disgusting.  I'm sorry the children have to suffer AT THE HANDS OF THEIR PARENTS POOR DECISIONS but that is a fact of life. 
 
Many children suffer all over the world, even here in the US because their parents are messed up.  My own father was an abusive alcoholic and drug addict before cancer returned his karma to him and my mother hung herself (though I was an adult when she did it - it still speaks to her ill state of mind in general).  So yeah - as a kid - an argument could be made that I suffered at the hands of my parents.  I was not much more than a weapon in their war against each other.  My family was separated.  Repeatedly.  Moved around. Repeatedly.  Bad stuff happens.  And while it sucks for kids both in and out of the country whose parents are disgusting human beings who never should have been gifted with children - it's still the parent's responsibility.  It's not the US Government's job to save all the children in the world from crappy parenting.  Our own system can't even handle caring for our own nation's children! And as for the children themselves - as they grow - it's THEIR responsibility to decide what kind of human they will be.  I could whine and play the perpetual victim, capitalizing on the dysfunction of my childhood - or I can do what I did - get over it and decide that I was going to be better, do better - and my 4 sons are amazing human beings growing up to be fine young men.  So no, you won't find much sympathy from me for these families being separated, and no - you won't find me blaming Trump, Obama, USCIS, ICE or anyone else for the circumstances the adults in the family have chosen to place those children in.  And yes, I do believe that "breaking up [these] families" is fully justified considering the irresponsible and outright illegal actions of the parents that are endangering these children.

I would get banned if I posted my thoughts regarding all these questions about "which way are you leaning?"  .....as a chick, I don't know exactly what leaning feels like, so I'll just have to take the guys words on it....

I concur with the other poster.  If you read through the various months for K1s (lots of threads for filers by month/year) you'll see that there is a general timeline but there are so many different things that come up that can throw it off at ANY stage.  Everything can be fully approved and simply waiting for the consulate to return a passport - seems like a simple 14-30 day thing - so people start buying plane tickets and reserving venues, etc....then for some unknown reason they spend 4 months in "AP" or the passport doesn't get sent back for 90 days or 6 months - and no one knows why.  The most consistent piece of advice I have seen on VJ no matter what thread, what visa, what country, etc - NEVER SPEND MONEY on plane tickets or wedding plans UNTIL you PHYSICALLY have the VISA/PASSPORT in hand.  As much as it sucks and it makes planning anything really hard - it's just the reality of the immigration process.  
 

As for the second part of your question - if you get married/hold a wedding ceremony prior to the issuance of the K1 visa - you will VOID your K1 and have to restart the entire process on a CR1.  People have had their K1's denied for "being too married" based off of the traditional engagement ceremonies held in some countries - even though the couple did not technically marry per the nation's laws.  Anything that even LOOKS like a wedding can trigger a denial for a K1 at the consular interview.  The K1 is specifically for getting married AFTER entry and within 90 days of that entry.  If you want to get married prior to getting a visa - look into the CR1.
 
Due to the nature of the K1 - many have done a "courthouse" marriage within the 90 days then had the big family celebration with dresses and cake later.

I concur with the other poster.  If you read through the various months for K1s (lots of threads for filers by month/year) you'll see that there is a general timeline but there are so many different things that come up that can throw it off at ANY stage.  Everything can be fully approved and simply waiting for the consulate to return a passport - seems like a simple 14-30 day thing - so people start buying plane tickets and reserving venues, etc....then for some unknown reason they spend 4 months in "AP" or the passport doesn't get sent back for 90 days or 6 months - and no one knows why.  The most consistent piece of advice I have seen on VJ no matter what thread, what visa, what country, etc - NEVER SPEND MONEY on plane tickets or wedding plans UNTIL you PHYSICALLY have the VISA/PASSPORT in hand.  As much as it sucks and it makes planning anything really hard - it's just the reality of the immigration process.  
 

@TBoneTX - you make a really good point! I hadn't even thought about that. 
 
On the plus side of it - I'm not going to complain when an incumbent retires, even if it does mean the seat flips parties.  Politics shouldn't be a "career" lasting decades. (cough, cough, "term limits", cough, cough)
 
I'm not really all that bothered by the House flipping to Dem majority.  I don't think it's in the best interest of the Nation for either party to hold all the power.  Even if the Dems are ignoring the Constitution as much as they possibly can (and it's costing them) we need something that will still provided some semblance of balance.  The Republicans can't be allowed to function unchecked and uncontested, that wouldn't be healthy for the Nation in the long run (the whole "absolute power corrupts absolutely" thing).  Overall I'm pleased with how I see our system working.  It's not a perfect system, but it's one of the best I've seen considering the basic faults in human nature.  To see so many people actually get involved in a mid term election is awesome! 

Actually yes there is.  It's called CRIMINAL ACTIVITY.  If I were to drive drunk and get arrested, I would be separated from my children.  If I was putting my children in danger - they would be taken from me.  
 
Please tell me how it is the fault of the USA that these families are getting separated?  Who exactly put them in this position?  Call me an ignorant white girl, but the families that are bypassing the laws and trying to force their entry illegally and are using their children as tools to try and manipulate us are the ones bearing the weight of the full responsibility for the situation.  How is it different than a terrorist organization hiding in hospitals or schools?  Manipulation is manipulation.  Boundaries are boundaries.  In any interaction - person to person, city to city, nation to nation - Those who want to violate boundaries get angry and act like the victim when those who enforce their boundaries refuse to be manipulated.  Enforcing boundaries is not cruel or inhumane.  Using children to try to manipulate an agenda is disgusting.  I'm sorry the children have to suffer AT THE HANDS OF THEIR PARENTS POOR DECISIONS but that is a fact of life. 
 
Many children suffer all over the world, even here in the US because their parents are messed up.  My own father was an abusive alcoholic and drug addict before cancer returned his karma to him and my mother hung herself (though I was an adult when she did it - it still speaks to her ill state of mind in general).  So yeah - as a kid - an argument could be made that I suffered at the hands of my parents.  I was not much more than a weapon in their war against each other.  My family was separated.  Repeatedly.  Moved around. Repeatedly.  Bad stuff happens.  And while it sucks for kids both in and out of the country whose parents are disgusting human beings who never should have been gifted with children - it's still the parent's responsibility.  It's not the US Government's job to save all the children in the world from crappy parenting.  Our own system can't even handle caring for our own nation's children! And as for the children themselves - as they grow - it's THEIR responsibility to decide what kind of human they will be.  I could whine and play the perpetual victim, capitalizing on the dysfunction of my childhood - or I can do what I did - get over it and decide that I was going to be better, do better - and my 4 sons are amazing human beings growing up to be fine young men.  So no, you won't find much sympathy from me for these families being separated, and no - you won't find me blaming Trump, Obama, USCIS, ICE or anyone else for the circumstances the adults in the family have chosen to place those children in.  And yes, I do believe that "breaking up [these] families" is fully justified considering the irresponsible and outright illegal actions of the parents that are endangering these children.

Actually yes there is.  It's called CRIMINAL ACTIVITY.  If I were to drive drunk and get arrested, I would be separated from my children.  If I was putting my children in danger - they would be taken from me.  
 
Please tell me how it is the fault of the USA that these families are getting separated?  Who exactly put them in this position?  Call me an ignorant white girl, but the families that are bypassing the laws and trying to force their entry illegally and are using their children as tools to try and manipulate us are the ones bearing the weight of the full responsibility for the situation.  How is it different than a terrorist organization hiding in hospitals or schools?  Manipulation is manipulation.  Boundaries are boundaries.  In any interaction - person to person, city to city, nation to nation - Those who want to violate boundaries get angry and act like the victim when those who enforce their boundaries refuse to be manipulated.  Enforcing boundaries is not cruel or inhumane.  Using children to try to manipulate an agenda is disgusting.  I'm sorry the children have to suffer AT THE HANDS OF THEIR PARENTS POOR DECISIONS but that is a fact of life. 
 
Many children suffer all over the world, even here in the US because their parents are messed up.  My own father was an abusive alcoholic and drug addict before cancer returned his karma to him and my mother hung herself (though I was an adult when she did it - it still speaks to her ill state of mind in general).  So yeah - as a kid - an argument could be made that I suffered at the hands of my parents.  I was not much more than a weapon in their war against each other.  My family was separated.  Repeatedly.  Moved around. Repeatedly.  Bad stuff happens.  And while it sucks for kids both in and out of the country whose parents are disgusting human beings who never should have been gifted with children - it's still the parent's responsibility.  It's not the US Government's job to save all the children in the world from crappy parenting.  Our own system can't even handle caring for our own nation's children! And as for the children themselves - as they grow - it's THEIR responsibility to decide what kind of human they will be.  I could whine and play the perpetual victim, capitalizing on the dysfunction of my childhood - or I can do what I did - get over it and decide that I was going to be better, do better - and my 4 sons are amazing human beings growing up to be fine young men.  So no, you won't find much sympathy from me for these families being separated, and no - you won't find me blaming Trump, Obama, USCIS, ICE or anyone else for the circumstances the adults in the family have chosen to place those children in.  And yes, I do believe that "breaking up [these] families" is fully justified considering the irresponsible and outright illegal actions of the parents that are endangering these children.

@TBoneTX - you make a really good point! I hadn't even thought about that. 
 
On the plus side of it - I'm not going to complain when an incumbent retires, even if it does mean the seat flips parties.  Politics shouldn't be a "career" lasting decades. (cough, cough, "term limits", cough, cough)
 
I'm not really all that bothered by the House flipping to Dem majority.  I don't think it's in the best interest of the Nation for either party to hold all the power.  Even if the Dems are ignoring the Constitution as much as they possibly can (and it's costing them) we need something that will still provided some semblance of balance.  The Republicans can't be allowed to function unchecked and uncontested, that wouldn't be healthy for the Nation in the long run (the whole "absolute power corrupts absolutely" thing).  Overall I'm pleased with how I see our system working.  It's not a perfect system, but it's one of the best I've seen considering the basic faults in human nature.  To see so many people actually get involved in a mid term election is awesome! 

Actually yes there is.  It's called CRIMINAL ACTIVITY.  If I were to drive drunk and get arrested, I would be separated from my children.  If I was putting my children in danger - they would be taken from me.  
 
Please tell me how it is the fault of the USA that these families are getting separated?  Who exactly put them in this position?  Call me an ignorant white girl, but the families that are bypassing the laws and trying to force their entry illegally and are using their children as tools to try and manipulate us are the ones bearing the weight of the full responsibility for the situation.  How is it different than a terrorist organization hiding in hospitals or schools?  Manipulation is manipulation.  Boundaries are boundaries.  In any interaction - person to person, city to city, nation to nation - Those who want to violate boundaries get angry and act like the victim when those who enforce their boundaries refuse to be manipulated.  Enforcing boundaries is not cruel or inhumane.  Using children to try to manipulate an agenda is disgusting.  I'm sorry the children have to suffer AT THE HANDS OF THEIR PARENTS POOR DECISIONS but that is a fact of life. 
 
Many children suffer all over the world, even here in the US because their parents are messed up.  My own father was an abusive alcoholic and drug addict before cancer returned his karma to him and my mother hung herself (though I was an adult when she did it - it still speaks to her ill state of mind in general).  So yeah - as a kid - an argument could be made that I suffered at the hands of my parents.  I was not much more than a weapon in their war against each other.  My family was separated.  Repeatedly.  Moved around. Repeatedly.  Bad stuff happens.  And while it sucks for kids both in and out of the country whose parents are disgusting human beings who never should have been gifted with children - it's still the parent's responsibility.  It's not the US Government's job to save all the children in the world from crappy parenting.  Our own system can't even handle caring for our own nation's children! And as for the children themselves - as they grow - it's THEIR responsibility to decide what kind of human they will be.  I could whine and play the perpetual victim, capitalizing on the dysfunction of my childhood - or I can do what I did - get over it and decide that I was going to be better, do better - and my 4 sons are amazing human beings growing up to be fine young men.  So no, you won't find much sympathy from me for these families being separated, and no - you won't find me blaming Trump, Obama, USCIS, ICE or anyone else for the circumstances the adults in the family have chosen to place those children in.  And yes, I do believe that "breaking up [these] families" is fully justified considering the irresponsible and outright illegal actions of the parents that are endangering these children.

A relevant haiku:
 
Don't know if I should
laugh or facepalm over this,
said OptimusSpice.

Do not make any plans you are unwilling to change or drop until at least the visa is in hand and you verified it has no issues. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and loss money/time/whatever. While you can generally get an idea of an average timeline, there is no way at all to know if your individual case will go outside the norm....due to your own circumstances or being completely out of your hands.
 
Do NOT marry or even have an unofficial ceremony before entering the US on the K-1 visa. You can be denied the visa or denied entry if they find out about it (which has happened).

Actually yes there is.  It's called CRIMINAL ACTIVITY.  If I were to drive drunk and get arrested, I would be separated from my children.  If I was putting my children in danger - they would be taken from me.  
 
Please tell me how it is the fault of the USA that these families are getting separated?  Who exactly put them in this position?  Call me an ignorant white girl, but the families that are bypassing the laws and trying to force their entry illegally and are using their children as tools to try and manipulate us are the ones bearing the weight of the full responsibility for the situation.  How is it different than a terrorist organization hiding in hospitals or schools?  Manipulation is manipulation.  Boundaries are boundaries.  In any interaction - person to person, city to city, nation to nation - Those who want to violate boundaries get angry and act like the victim when those who enforce their boundaries refuse to be manipulated.  Enforcing boundaries is not cruel or inhumane.  Using children to try to manipulate an agenda is disgusting.  I'm sorry the children have to suffer AT THE HANDS OF THEIR PARENTS POOR DECISIONS but that is a fact of life. 
 
Many children suffer all over the world, even here in the US because their parents are messed up.  My own father was an abusive alcoholic and drug addict before cancer returned his karma to him and my mother hung herself (though I was an adult when she did it - it still speaks to her ill state of mind in general).  So yeah - as a kid - an argument could be made that I suffered at the hands of my parents.  I was not much more than a weapon in their war against each other.  My family was separated.  Repeatedly.  Moved around. Repeatedly.  Bad stuff happens.  And while it sucks for kids both in and out of the country whose parents are disgusting human beings who never should have been gifted with children - it's still the parent's responsibility.  It's not the US Government's job to save all the children in the world from crappy parenting.  Our own system can't even handle caring for our own nation's children! And as for the children themselves - as they grow - it's THEIR responsibility to decide what kind of human they will be.  I could whine and play the perpetual victim, capitalizing on the dysfunction of my childhood - or I can do what I did - get over it and decide that I was going to be better, do better - and my 4 sons are amazing human beings growing up to be fine young men.  So no, you won't find much sympathy from me for these families being separated, and no - you won't find me blaming Trump, Obama, USCIS, ICE or anyone else for the circumstances the adults in the family have chosen to place those children in.  And yes, I do believe that "breaking up [these] families" is fully justified considering the irresponsible and outright illegal actions of the parents that are endangering these children.

As for the second part of your question - if you get married/hold a wedding ceremony prior to the issuance of the K1 visa - you will VOID your K1 and have to restart the entire process on a CR1.  People have had their K1's denied for "being too married" based off of the traditional engagement ceremonies held in some countries - even though the couple did not technically marry per the nation's laws.  Anything that even LOOKS like a wedding can trigger a denial for a K1 at the consular interview.  The K1 is specifically for getting married AFTER entry and within 90 days of that entry.  If you want to get married prior to getting a visa - look into the CR1.
 
Due to the nature of the K1 - many have done a "courthouse" marriage within the 90 days then had the big family celebration with dresses and cake later.

6 years