Immigration wait destroys marriages?

[Ayesha Kakar 9]

How many married couples have ended up separating, divorcing before, or divorcing after the immigration process all because of how long the wait is and the depression and anxiety created from it all?

[geowrian 22,335]

I have no idea how you're going to get reliable statistics to answer that question. People break up for all kinds of reasons...the wait/depression/anxiety is almost never the underlying cause IMO.

[Ben&Zian 4,397]

9 minutes ago, Ayesha Kakar said:

How many married couples have ended up separating, divorcing before, or divorcing after the immigration process all because of how long the wait is and the depression and anxiety created from it all?

 

This has been asked before but there is no such statistic available to show those kind of numbers. I'm sure the wait takes a toll on people like normal stressers in life would in general.

 

Since people marry and are apart sometimes for a long time before they even begin the immigration process, not sure how much of the process itself is involved over just again the normal distance stress.

 

I'd have to say it's a pretty standard number though compared to your typical relationships/marriages I suppose.

Edited October 10, 2018 by Ben&Zian

[Boiler 43,396]

A factor I am sure but we see much bigger ones.

[debbiedoo 2,339]

im not sure the immigration process itself would be the factor - you kind of know what youre getting into. But i would imagine the separation/divorce rates are at least equal to if not higher than the average within the couples who immigrated, simply because so many of them have never spent considerable time together. after all, a week vacation on a beach is hardly real life. I think many have an image in their head of what life will be like and the reality is usually far different. Really, how well can you know a person in one, or even a couple of, short visits where youre not dealing with every day life and every day problems and stressors?

 

But aside from looking for stats on ROC with divorce waiver (which would not show those who went back to their home country), there are no official stats on the divorce rates.

[Roel 7,191]

How many married couples have ended up separating, divorcing before, or divorcing after * having countless issues where immigration times are the smallest portion of it*  all because of *not loving and carrying for each other enough and not being mature enough to survive few months apart*  and the depression and anxiety created from being in a *miserable relationship that if it didn't survive immigration process, would probably fall apart anyway* ?

 

There, I fixed you post.

[Ahmed&Freda 628]

5 hours ago, Ayesha Kakar said:

How many married couples have ended up separating, divorcing before, or divorcing after the immigration process all because of how long the wait is and the depression and anxiety created from it all?

My husband and I have faced so much anxiety and depression through this whole process but never does divorce come to our minds.  We have thought of moving to a neutral place until this is over but to be honest the stress from us both moving, transitioning children, finding jobs, having enough money to survive is just to great for us to deal with  right now.   There are many couples that have to live apart for different reasons.  Military wives do it all the time why their husbands go on tour.  I just keep telling myself this is temporary (even though we are on year 2) one day we will look back at what we had to endure to live together it will be a constant reminder to be thankful for each time we drive each other crazy.   

Edited October 10, 2018 by Ahmed&Freda

[Ayesha Kakar 9]

4 minutes ago, Ahmed&Freda said:

My husband and I have faced so much anxiety and depression through this whole process but never does divorce come to our minds.  We have thought of moving to a neutral place until this is over but to be honest the stress from us both moving, transitioning children, finding jobs, having enough money to survive is just to great for us to deal with  right now.   There are many couples that have to live apart for different reasons.  Military wives do it all the time why their husbands go on tour.  I just keep telling myself this is temporary (even though we are on year 2) one day we will look back at what we had to endure to live together it will be a constant reminder to be thankful for each time we drive each other crazy.   

You leave in just over a week, don't you? I'm sure you can not sleep from anxiousness 

[Ahmed&Freda 628]

27 minutes ago, Ayesha Kakar said:

You leave in just over a week, don't you? I'm sure you can not sleep from anxiousness 

OMG YES!!  I'm so stressed!! I leave next week.  InshAllah I'll have good news after this interview.  We are both feeling very positive about it but trying not to get our hopes up either.  

Edited October 10, 2018 by Ahmed&Freda

[Lucky2Lucky 2,526]

In my opinion those marriages that broke up “due” to the immigration process wouldn’t have lasted anyway. If you can’t get through this how can you get life’s up and downs?

 

i think going through this actually makes the relationship stronger!

Edited October 10, 2018 by Luckycuds

[mushroomspore 3,043]

Yeah I don't know about statistics but there have been a good number of posts where people complain about the long separation times and other difficulties. Look, if you can't handle that, don't be in a serious committed relationship with a foreigner. And if you're someone who "didn't realize" how tough the process would be BEFORE you started it, then I cannot type out what I think of you because I would get banned from this site.

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

7 hours ago, Roel said:

How many married couples have ended up separating, divorcing before, or divorcing after * having countless issues where immigration times are the smallest portion of it*  all because of *not loving and carrying for each other enough and not being mature enough to survive few months apart*  and the depression and anxiety created from being in a *miserable relationship that if it didn't survive immigration process, would probably fall apart anyway* ?

 

There, I fixed you post.

If we can survice a 6 year visa process, then any real relationship can

and if the wait caused a divorce,  the marriage was domed anyway

there will be bigger stressers to come after getting together in the US

[kris&me 572]

if you love, you love

If you dont love, you are just in a hurry to get that green card

[Unlockable 7,306]

A direct contrast to OP's questions is, how many marriages/ relationships end soon after the immigrant arrives.

 

Here is a hint, take a browse through Effects of Major Family Changes section or search "Divorce or Separated before AOS or ROC". You'd be amazed on how many couples don't even make anniversary.

[Ayesha Kakar 9]

The main reason for posting this question was merely curiosity. Many things factor into relationships not making it. And it isn't a matter of not loving each other either. The stresses of this process, regardless of knowing what you sign up for in the beginning, can become more than one or both ever expected. Yes, you should know what you signed up for when you start this whole relationship, marriage, immigration process. And majority do, and believe they can make it through these stresses....but no one knows the extent until you go through it. 

 

This was not a post in relation to my own marriage or our own stresses with this wait to be together.  It was just as I said, merely curiosity.....thank you everyone for their opinions.