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Ayesha Kakar

Immigration wait destroys marriages?

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9 minutes ago, Ayesha Kakar said:

How many married couples have ended up separating, divorcing before, or divorcing after the immigration process all because of how long the wait is and the depression and anxiety created from it all?

 

This has been asked before but there is no such statistic available to show those kind of numbers. I'm sure the wait takes a toll on people like normal stressers in life would in general.

 

Since people marry and are apart sometimes for a long time before they even begin the immigration process, not sure how much of the process itself is involved over just again the normal distance stress.

 

I'd have to say it's a pretty standard number though compared to your typical relationships/marriages I suppose.

Edited by Ben&Zian

08/15/2014 : Met Online

06/30/2016 : I-129F Packet Sent

07/08/2016 : NOA 1 Received

08/25/2016 : NOA 2 Received (48 days)

11/08/2016 : Interview - APPROVED!

11/18/2016 : Visa in hand

11/23/2016 : POE - Dallas, Texas

From sending of I-129F petiton to POE - 146 days.

 

02/03/2017 - Married 

 

02/24/2017 - AOS packet sent

03/06/2017 - NOA1's received via text

03/31/2017 - Biometrics appointment Completed

06/01/2017 - EAD/AP Combo Card Received in mail

12/06/2017 - I-485 Approved

12/14/2017 - Green Card Received in mail - No Interview

 

 

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A factor I am sure but we see much bigger ones.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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im not sure the immigration process itself would be the factor - you kind of know what youre getting into. But i would imagine the separation/divorce rates are at least equal to if not higher than the average within the couples who immigrated, simply because so many of them have never spent considerable time together. after all, a week vacation on a beach is hardly real life. I think many have an image in their head of what life will be like and the reality is usually far different. Really, how well can you know a person in one, or even a couple of, short visits where youre not dealing with every day life and every day problems and stressors?

 

But aside from looking for stats on ROC with divorce waiver (which would not show those who went back to their home country), there are no official stats on the divorce rates.


5/7/2018 K1       Application mailed

5/9/2018             Application rec'd and signed for (sent via fedex)

5/14/2018          NOA1 Email notification

5/18/2018          NOA1 Paper copy rec'd (i797C)

 

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4 minutes ago, Ahmed&Freda said:

My husband and I have faced so much anxiety and depression through this whole process but never does divorce come to our minds.  We have thought of moving to a neutral place until this is over but to be honest the stress from us both moving, transitioning children, finding jobs, having enough money to survive is just to great for us to deal with  right now.   There are many couples that have to live apart for different reasons.  Military wives do it all the time why their husbands go on tour.  I just keep telling myself this is temporary (even though we are on year 2) one day we will look back at what we had to endure to live together it will be a constant reminder to be thankful for each time we drive each other crazy.   

You leave in just over a week, don't you? I'm sure you can not sleep from anxiousness 

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27 minutes ago, Ayesha Kakar said:

You leave in just over a week, don't you? I'm sure you can not sleep from anxiousness 

OMG YES!!  I'm so stressed!! I leave next week.  InshAllah I'll have good news after this interview.  We are both feeling very positive about it but trying not to get our hopes up either.  

Edited by Ahmed&Freda

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Yeah I don't know about statistics but there have been a good number of posts where people complain about the long separation times and other difficulties. Look, if you can't handle that, don't be in a serious committed relationship with a foreigner. And if you're someone who "didn't realize" how tough the process would be BEFORE you started it, then I cannot type out what I think of you because I would get banned from this site.

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The main reason for posting this question was merely curiosity. Many things factor into relationships not making it. And it isn't a matter of not loving each other either. The stresses of this process, regardless of knowing what you sign up for in the beginning, can become more than one or both ever expected. Yes, you should know what you signed up for when you start this whole relationship, marriage, immigration process. And majority do, and believe they can make it through these stresses....but no one knows the extent until you go through it. 

 

This was not a post in relation to my own marriage or our own stresses with this wait to be together.  It was just as I said, merely curiosity.....thank you everyone for their opinions. 

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