Kathryn41

A cat communicator is someone with a special 'gift' to talk with animals, or to sense their 'take' or awareness on a given situation. I have a friend who is an animal communicator and I have asked her to talk to my cats a number of times, and in one case to help a friend find her lost dog (she did).
I know that this is probably a 'woohoo' subject for some, however, from my personal experience, I have been able to get insight into behaviour problems or even medical concerns from her. She is only able to tell me what the animals themselves know, so if the cat is sick, she can tell me he hurts in his tummy area or his feet feel hot or he loses himself in instinctive behaviour, but she can't tell me that he has xxx illness or anything like that. I will use the information I get from her as an additional resource when I go to the vet about something.. For example, a year ago when my senior cat Tristan started to barf after eating fairly regularly and didn't seem able to keep food down, I asked her to ask him if there was a problem he knew about. All Tristan could tell her is that he had a lump in his throat and sometimes he couldn't swallow the food properly. When I took him to the vet for his constant throwing up after eating and she x-rayed him, she discovered a tumour that was pushing against the esophagus. It was a rapidly growing cancer that literally was closing off the esophagus as it grew. We modified his diet to a more soft and then liquid one until he and I both knew it was time to say goodbye.
One more story - when Lion and Bear were growing up and were about 5 or 6 months old, out of curiousity I asked the animal communicator to see if they wanted to have 'adult' cat names instead of Lion and Bear. Bear responded that he didn't really care but if he was going to have a new name he wanted something that mentioned his plumey tail - like "Mr. Plumeytail'. We both laughed at that and I said the poor cat was going to be very disappointed, because at that time he was long and skinny and short haired and his tail was thin and short-haired too. Well, within a month he started to grow longer and longer fur and by the time he was a year old, not only did he have the longest fur I have ever known on a cat, but his tail was indeed this beautiful long plume that he carried with the tip rolled over at the top so it looked exactly like a plume! As Lion and Bear were orphaned around 10 days old I had no idea what their parents were like so this was a total surprise. He definitely fits the name of Mr. Plumeytail now - but he still gets called Bear.

They're my cats. Joe will pet them and sometimes play with them but every other function of their care is mine, from food, to litter box, to vet to cat barf. When I was in hospital a few years back I asked a cat communicator to explain to the cats that I was 'at the vets' and Joe would be looking after them and feeding them. Apparently one of the cats asked 'Does he know how to feed us?" That will give you an idea of his involvement in their lives.
If one of them tosses up a hairball in the bathroom and Joe gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, he will just step around the hairball and leave it there for me to take care of later. He also doesn't tell me if he sees a hairball so I can take care of it, so sometimes I may not notice it right away and it sits there until Joe finally asks 'did you clean up the cat hairball in xxxxxxx"? and of course, that is the first I've heard of it.
If they start the retching sound that indicates they are about to produce, I generally try to slip some paper or cardboard or something in front of them so at least it doesn't actually make it to the floor. Of course, the cats try to back up and turn away while still retching so it can be a tricky time to make sure that piece of paper is still underneath them at the time of egress. Generally, when I am around, they do let me know it is about to happen, often by making moaning cries and then heavy retching so I do have a chance to be prepared.
I agree that the ones that have sat for a while and dried out are much easier to clean up.
Best products I have found for cleaning up the stains left on the carpet? Folex Instant Carpet Spot Remover (available at Lowes) and Fizzion, available at Pet Products.com.

You two can also meet in a third country and spend some time together. It would be good to meet before she has her interview as you have not seen one another in a very long time. Save boarding passes, etc from the trip 

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I've gone through and tried to make an overall summary list of what to do and who to tell about your move to the US as an immigrant. Please feel free to add information to this list from your own experiences. I've included links at the bottom of this post to useful threads already posted on Visa Journey (and borrowed heavily from them to make this list: ). Hopefully this topic can be pinned as this question arises often.

Who to notify -re change of address or closing accounts

Personal
family doctor - also get copies of medical records for new doctor or permission to transfer files directly
Veterinarian- get copies of pet's medical records and make sure up to date on vaccinations
dentist - get copies of dental records or permission to transfer directly
Insurance - life and car - cancel -may get rebate - update with spouse's name if keeping
landlord - (usually 2 months notice required)
cleaning services - arrange final clean of premises after you leave and cancellation
Utilities - heat, gas, hydro, water/sewage -change of address and final account payment/closing
telephone provider - change of address and final account payment/closing
internet service provider - change of address and final account payment/closing
magazine subscriptions- change of address and any change in mailing costs
club memberships -change of address
Air miles plan -change of address
affinity cards - points cards for groceries, office supplies, etc. - change of address
sponsored children or any charities you support - change of address

Government
Canada Post - paid change of address for one year
Canada Revenue Agency - notify in writing of change of address and date leaving country re GST and CTB. (not eligible for either after leaving Canada)
Provincial Health Plan - not eligible after giving up Provincial residency
SIN -change of address
Canada Pension Plan - change of address (you will still get benefits when you retire if you have contributed) - add Spouse's name
passport -make sure it will be valid for a while or get a new one
Driver's License -keep and check driving requirements on your Cdn license in your new state
Car registration/sell car -notify DMV of change of address or sell car if not importing
Elections Canada - notify of change of address - you will need to notify Elections Canada of your out of country address so you can receive a special ballot in order to vote in any upcoming elections.
Employment
-notify employer of change of address
-give appropriate length notice
-obtain Record of Employment (ROE) from Employer as may be eligible for EI benefits
-obtain Letters of Reference for US Job search - US employer unlikely to call Canada
-get statement from employer's health insurance provider listing dates of coverage, especially if you have pre-existing condition, as US provider will require proof of previous -coverage to allow coverage of pre-existing condition (usually a one year wait period otherwise)
-pension plan or retirement benefits - may have to make electives from available options

Taxes
-employer - change of address for T-4s
-CRA - change of address in writing to mail you appropriate tax forms for exit taxes
-investments, etc - change of address for appropriate tax schedules/forms
-notify accountant of change of address

Vehicle
-decide if meets requirements for import and sell if not
-get compliance letter from manufacturer
-obtain/verify insurance to cover you until car is registered and insured in US
-contact lien holder and ensure they allow vehicle to leave Canada
-check into vehicle registration requirements in new state
-notify DMV of change of address - may be rebate if plates returned

Moving your Animals and Plants
-veterinary certificates/proof of rabies - bring copies of pets medical records; have food and travelling supplies for pet
-CITES certificates (birds and reptiles) -make sure you can import an exotic pet and have appropriate forms - CITES may be required
-Phyto-sanitary certificates (houseplants) - inspection within 2 weeks prior to moving by CFIA (Canadian Food Inspection Agency)

Financial Concerns
-bank change of address - set up accounts to monitor online, keep one account open for CRA direct deposit; of refunds
-have to notify IRS of foreign accounts over $10,000 http://www.irs.gov/p...-pdf/f90221.pdf
-RRSP - decide what to do and notify change of address
-Employment retirement plans -change of address and choose from listed options from provider
-any loans - make arrangements to continue payments
-notify brokers re: investments -change of address
-credit cards - Visa, Mastercard, AmEx, Canadian Tire, gas cards, store cards, etc -change of address, no need to cancel
-obtain copies of Canadian credit report - you will have no credit in the US and they won't check Canadian sources so bring them with you - may help

Customs
-be aware of restrictions and dispose of items you can't import or don't want to import (alcohol, firearms, etc.)

Miscellaneous
-have friend or family monitor mail box to ensure mail is being forwarded or collected
-locate and bring important personal documents - school records, degrees, awards, accomplishments, birth certificates/baptismal certificates for self and children; court documents
-bring a telephone directory from your Canadian city
-University Transcripts - get copies
-University Alumni - notify of change of address
-Driver's Abstract - get copy (may be required for licensing in new state)

Useful links to other discussion on this topic:
http://www.visajourn...03#entry3288403

http://www.visajourn...0

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

Lenchick, 
Applying for paper work for a marriage based green card means adjustment of status.  The US customs officer asked him if a) he was considering moving to the US  and b) if he was considering adjusting his status based upon marriage to a US citizen to become a Permanent Resident - aka 'getting a green card'.  He told the Customs Officer at the Airport 'yes' to both questions.  The Customs Officer then said he could not be allowed to enter the US as he had presumed immigrant intent, and as such, had to file for and obtain the proper visa - a CR-1 (marriage based) visa - before he could be allowed back into the US. It is very straight-forward and happens far, far too often.  Canadians often forget that the US is a foreign country and that Canadians are 'foreigners' just like everyone else and are subject to the same rules and regulations.
 
USCIS does not care if you make a mistake; it does not care if your intentions were different than you said they were; it does not even care if you misunderstood what they were asking.  This conversation and the results of this conversation are now a record on the file of the OP.  Any time he tries to cross the border in the future, this information will come up.  If he changes his story from this information, USCIS will believe in the 'worst' interpretation of his intent, and they will have no compunctions about enacting the appropriate consequences.

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

Lenchick, 
Applying for paper work for a marriage based green card means adjustment of status.  The US customs officer asked him if a) he was considering moving to the US  and b) if he was considering adjusting his status based upon marriage to a US citizen to become a Permanent Resident - aka 'getting a green card'.  He told the Customs Officer at the Airport 'yes' to both questions.  The Customs Officer then said he could not be allowed to enter the US as he had presumed immigrant intent, and as such, had to file for and obtain the proper visa - a CR-1 (marriage based) visa - before he could be allowed back into the US. It is very straight-forward and happens far, far too often.  Canadians often forget that the US is a foreign country and that Canadians are 'foreigners' just like everyone else and are subject to the same rules and regulations.
 
USCIS does not care if you make a mistake; it does not care if your intentions were different than you said they were; it does not even care if you misunderstood what they were asking.  This conversation and the results of this conversation are now a record on the file of the OP.  Any time he tries to cross the border in the future, this information will come up.  If he changes his story from this information, USCIS will believe in the 'worst' interpretation of his intent, and they will have no compunctions about enacting the appropriate consequences.

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

Lenchick, 
Applying for paper work for a marriage based green card means adjustment of status.  The US customs officer asked him if a) he was considering moving to the US  and b) if he was considering adjusting his status based upon marriage to a US citizen to become a Permanent Resident - aka 'getting a green card'.  He told the Customs Officer at the Airport 'yes' to both questions.  The Customs Officer then said he could not be allowed to enter the US as he had presumed immigrant intent, and as such, had to file for and obtain the proper visa - a CR-1 (marriage based) visa - before he could be allowed back into the US. It is very straight-forward and happens far, far too often.  Canadians often forget that the US is a foreign country and that Canadians are 'foreigners' just like everyone else and are subject to the same rules and regulations.
 
USCIS does not care if you make a mistake; it does not care if your intentions were different than you said they were; it does not even care if you misunderstood what they were asking.  This conversation and the results of this conversation are now a record on the file of the OP.  Any time he tries to cross the border in the future, this information will come up.  If he changes his story from this information, USCIS will believe in the 'worst' interpretation of his intent, and they will have no compunctions about enacting the appropriate consequences.

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

Lenchick, 
Applying for paper work for a marriage based green card means adjustment of status.  The US customs officer asked him if a) he was considering moving to the US  and b) if he was considering adjusting his status based upon marriage to a US citizen to become a Permanent Resident - aka 'getting a green card'.  He told the Customs Officer at the Airport 'yes' to both questions.  The Customs Officer then said he could not be allowed to enter the US as he had presumed immigrant intent, and as such, had to file for and obtain the proper visa - a CR-1 (marriage based) visa - before he could be allowed back into the US. It is very straight-forward and happens far, far too often.  Canadians often forget that the US is a foreign country and that Canadians are 'foreigners' just like everyone else and are subject to the same rules and regulations.
 
USCIS does not care if you make a mistake; it does not care if your intentions were different than you said they were; it does not even care if you misunderstood what they were asking.  This conversation and the results of this conversation are now a record on the file of the OP.  Any time he tries to cross the border in the future, this information will come up.  If he changes his story from this information, USCIS will believe in the 'worst' interpretation of his intent, and they will have no compunctions about enacting the appropriate consequences.

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

Lenchick, 
Applying for paper work for a marriage based green card means adjustment of status.  The US customs officer asked him if a) he was considering moving to the US  and b) if he was considering adjusting his status based upon marriage to a US citizen to become a Permanent Resident - aka 'getting a green card'.  He told the Customs Officer at the Airport 'yes' to both questions.  The Customs Officer then said he could not be allowed to enter the US as he had presumed immigrant intent, and as such, had to file for and obtain the proper visa - a CR-1 (marriage based) visa - before he could be allowed back into the US. It is very straight-forward and happens far, far too often.  Canadians often forget that the US is a foreign country and that Canadians are 'foreigners' just like everyone else and are subject to the same rules and regulations.
 
USCIS does not care if you make a mistake; it does not care if your intentions were different than you said they were; it does not even care if you misunderstood what they were asking.  This conversation and the results of this conversation are now a record on the file of the OP.  Any time he tries to cross the border in the future, this information will come up.  If he changes his story from this information, USCIS will believe in the 'worst' interpretation of his intent, and they will have no compunctions about enacting the appropriate consequences.

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

Lenchick, 
Applying for paper work for a marriage based green card means adjustment of status.  The US customs officer asked him if a) he was considering moving to the US  and b) if he was considering adjusting his status based upon marriage to a US citizen to become a Permanent Resident - aka 'getting a green card'.  He told the Customs Officer at the Airport 'yes' to both questions.  The Customs Officer then said he could not be allowed to enter the US as he had presumed immigrant intent, and as such, had to file for and obtain the proper visa - a CR-1 (marriage based) visa - before he could be allowed back into the US. It is very straight-forward and happens far, far too often.  Canadians often forget that the US is a foreign country and that Canadians are 'foreigners' just like everyone else and are subject to the same rules and regulations.
 
USCIS does not care if you make a mistake; it does not care if your intentions were different than you said they were; it does not even care if you misunderstood what they were asking.  This conversation and the results of this conversation are now a record on the file of the OP.  Any time he tries to cross the border in the future, this information will come up.  If he changes his story from this information, USCIS will believe in the 'worst' interpretation of his intent, and they will have no compunctions about enacting the appropriate consequences.

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

This is immigration fraud.  The OP has already said he plans to Adjust Status and has been denied entry.  He has moved his whole life down to the US and is basically living there.  To tell immigration that he is not planning to adjust status and is just visiting is lying to immigration and will result in being denied entry, possible detention at the border, or a ban, either minimum of 5 years or a lifetime ban.  If the OP succeeds in entering the US after lying to immigration, if they don't catch him right away and put him in detention in preparation for trial and deportation (and you DON'T want to go into any of the ICE facilities), it will come back to haunt him on one of the many different petitions he and his spouse will need to file over the next few years for him to live and work in the US, and during any future petition for citizenship.  One lie haunts you forever and there is no statute of limitations. 
 
Mistakes happen through ignorance of the law, which is the situation in which the OP now finds himself.  It isn't an excuse nor will it hold any weight with immigration.  They do not care.  What the OP needs to remember is that you don't mess around with US immigration because you do not want the consequences, especially if you are married to an American citizen and want to spend a happy life together.  It may be long and tedious and involved, but going through the proper immigration process - his spouse filing an I-130 and working on a CR-1 visa - is the only way he is going to get back into the US and it is not likely to be any time soon.
 

Sorry to hear of your terrible loss. The lawyers over at avvo.com say just write a letter to withdraw the application and possibly include a copy of the I-797C.
 
https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/how-to-withdraw-i-485-and-i-130-2325927.html
 

@payxibka  Thank you for the advice, but USCIS has put in a lot a lot of time processing our application and it only feels fair to notify them that we cannot follow through.  I don't want to use more of their time when others are waiting to get their applications processed.  Though it is exceptionally painful for me to ask them to close our application.
 
To those who have offered condolences -- that means a lot to me -- thank you for your kindness.  Pretty tough when the love of your life makes it to the U.S. only to have her slip through your fingers.  What a world.  Sorry.  Just very depressed.
--Mark

Dear Group,
I write with a very heavy heart.  My beloved wife came to the US on a K-1 visa in June 2020.  We married immediately and filed the whole I-485 packet including all the supporting forms and received the NOAs for all.  While waiting for the AOS interview, she died from covid and that has pretty much destroyed my life.  I called the USCIS hotline for advice on how best to withdraw the application, but they seemed very befuddled and recommended that I file form I-140 (which has nothing do with withdrawing a petition -- completely wrong) with the center that is handling my case.  They gave me an address based on my zip code, but I'm questioning if that's correct based on their recommendation of an incorrect form.
 
I just got notice yesterday that the AOS interview has been scheduled and a notice has been sent out.  Should I wait for this notice and then send a letter with a copy of the notice and death certificate to the address on the notice.  That seems to make the most sense.  Thank you for any advice.  Normally I would be able to figure this stuff out on my own (we got this far . . .), but my brain is very muddled these days.  My apologies.
 
Thank you,
Mark