ezzy

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People should understand the immigration journey before they begin it.  They generally do and undertake the challenges eagerly, but then some start to whine because it is not to their liking even though they knew the limitations from the start.  I am tired of complaints and whines when there is nothing unusual or unexpected.  I have far more reason to complain than most of you, but I accept the process and limitations and go on.
 
So either smile and approach the process with anticipation knowing there will be bumps in the road or don't waste the time of immigration official;s and take visa slots from people who want to come so much that they will endure and deal with the unexpected. QYB

I had a coworker at my last job who brought all 3 of her sisters here from Pinas and it took over 18-19 years for each of them. 15 years is wishful thinking at best for bringing sister/brothers from the Philippines. 
 
Edit. It was funny because when she brought the last sister over here in 2016, the sister brought her 17 year old son as well. They got a letter in the mail about signing up for Selective Service and pretty much freaked out over it. So my coworker brought it to my attention the next day and asking about it. She didn't know anything about it because she had a daughter, so I had to explain it all to them. 

No one on VJ attacks.. we all advise.. based on information in your posts. 
 
And as noted above, immigration is a privilege and not a right. We all chose to immigrate and should accept the burdens that come along with migration, ie leaving some family behind. The US does have some of the most liberal immigration laws of any in the world. 

Hey Ezzy one thing to consider if you haven't I know you say it's no big rush you are more incline to see each other annually. But I would do this petition your parents they will be here in 2 to 3 months You could start now and upgrade once you are citizen at least get it filed. Once they are here then the parents can petition your sister. As green card holders it will take about 2 to 3 years. Sure beats the 20 to 30 years by far.

Huh?
1) Where does 2-3 months come from? It's taking a year or longer for any IR-based petition to interview.
2) If the sister is age 21 or over, then it's at least another 12 years on top of that for F2B from PI....likely longer. Even if the parents became USCs, F1 from PI is just about as long of a wait as F2B there. Also the sister would need to remain unmarried (or wait just about as long as F4 is then marry, but it would have to be only after the parents naturalize).
3) One can only file the I-130 for a parent once they are a citizen..you cannot "upgrade' later because there is no basis to petition a parent prior to being a USC (nothing to upgrade from).

Lol. This seems like an attack. But rather than be triggered, I would agree. This was a choice. And, to be honest, saying that it's lonely to not have family around is a normal feeling. And I also share this feeling with his family.
 
That being said, I do have a choice and a right to reunite myself and my husband with all the family I could get. Thanks for your input, though.
 
 
I would have to think hard about what to do. Unlikely things will get rolling this year but I want to be prepared with possible scenarios. 

Lol. This seems like an attack. But rather than be triggered, I would agree. This was a choice. And, to be honest, saying that it's lonely to not have family around is a normal feeling. And I also share this feeling with his family.
 
That being said, I do have a choice and a right to reunite myself and my husband with all the family I could get. Thanks for your input, though.
 
 
I would have to think hard about what to do. Unlikely things will get rolling this year but I want to be prepared with possible scenarios. 

Those getting to their visa's now have waited over 20 years and the line gets longer.

Lol. This seems like an attack. But rather than be triggered, I would agree. This was a choice. And, to be honest, saying that it's lonely to not have family around is a normal feeling. And I also share this feeling with his family.
 
That being said, I do have a choice and a right to reunite myself and my husband with all the family I could get. Thanks for your input, though.
 
 
I would have to think hard about what to do. Unlikely things will get rolling this year but I want to be prepared with possible scenarios. 

Leaving family behind is the choice we all make when we immigrate.
 
And it’s not always the case that everyone wants to immigrate with us even when we reach the stage that we can sponsor family members. Especially parents - some parents are very eager to rejoin their child and do so as soon as they can , others find the thought of being uprooted from what they’ve known their entire lives to be put in an alien culture with an alien language where they may not know anyone other than their child, a highly disruptive and traumatic experience.
 
incidentally, immigration is a privilege, not a right.
 

Lol. This seems like an attack. But rather than be triggered, I would agree. This was a choice. And, to be honest, saying that it's lonely to not have family around is a normal feeling. And I also share this feeling with his family.
 
That being said, I do have a choice and a right to reunite myself and my husband with all the family I could get. Thanks for your input, though.
 
 
I would have to think hard about what to do. Unlikely things will get rolling this year but I want to be prepared with possible scenarios. 

You made the choice when you decided to immigrate.  Don't whine about it now. You likely came as a spouse or fiance,. That person is your primary family now.

If visiting family members are turned away by CBP, refused entry because of the pending petition and a concern about overstaying or immigrant intent, you can always go and visit them in the Philippines.

VJ has a mega thread on yes you can visit.

Plenty of folks with an existing tourist visa and a i130 in the pipeline visit the US. Usually no issues as long as their visit is short and they return home. 

For Siblings Philippines you are looking at 30 years? impossible to say but so long that immigration intent would be generationally.

hi
 
first of all, if you petition for your sister, depending on the country of origin it will take 14 or more years, for some countries, sibling petitions take over 20 years
 
they can visit in the mean time
 
and your parents can visit as well once you file for them, as long as they don't stay for a long time, short visits
 
 

It may be harder for them to be admitted as tourists (even with valid visas, actual entry/duration of stay is still at the discretion of the POE officer) once there are pending i-130s...  The pending i-130 is going to show immigration intent, but not entirely impossible if they are able to convince POE they would return to their home country afterwards.
 
What is their country of origin?  Wait times depend on that.

No. Just. No.

Take it from a male viewpoint (mine): If you grit your teeth and continue, you can only expect more of the same behavior in the future. He's not ready. Depending on his age (if he's older than his late 20s), he might never be.
Personal note, with apologies if it's inappropriate to state it here: When I was single, it frosted my jaws to encounter woman after woman who, although otherwise stable in every other way, kept throwing themselves at guys who were incapable of ever committing. A true relationship is one in which there is no question of mutual commitment, whether the question is "in your faces" or nagging at the back of your minds. Do what you will, but I don't think that this relationship is true or that it would last if you manufactured its continuation.
Depending on your self-assurance, thank him for the memories, turn your back, and look only forward. Of all the fish in the sea, this one should be thrown back.

If you help ROC as though you have a valid marriage you could be jailed and fined. She is using you. She could file under a waiver and you are not obligated to maintain health insurance after a divorce. You do know the longer you are married the more claim she has you your assets and retirement.

Things will get better Meg. He is a very selfish person. He has problems dealing with his own emotions, so denies you of yours. This is not a person you want to be married to. The way he handled the whole situation is totally unforgivable. Ask your self if you were really deciding to have an abortion to please him. Did he even say that keeping the baby was an option? I am sure he swayed you to a decision of abortion. He sounds exactly like an ex boyfriend of mine from many years ago. I was in a very similar situation to you, (although it did not involve emigration). As you have already stated, you have feelings that your ex has totally disrespected. He does not deserve you at all. I can only imagine what you have had to endure through the course of your relationship with him. Enjoy every second of your pregnancy, because you deserve this little bundle of joy. If you felt that you always wanted a child one day, then having this child is going to be beneficial to you. Having a baby leads you to meeting a lot of new people too, and a lot of happiness. You will find love again when you are ready.. and when you do, it will be the right person. You will not feel like you are always treading on eggshells trying to keep someone happy. You should never feel like you have to ask for respect in any way, especially just to have your feelings heard and respected. You cannot have a real relationship without this. When you meet the right man he will treat you with respect in every way, including your feelings. You will be able to be yourself without worrying about upsetting anyone. You will feel that mutual connection of respect. Never settle for less that the best.. which is what you deserve. This is your child and your life.. enjoy them both.

If he gave up on the relationship, don't give up on your baby in your tummy. God never give up on you. Please don't do the abortion. Spend time with people who lift you up (family & friends).

You gave her too many chances already. She continued with the lies. She showed you who she is....believe it. Don't do this to yourself, you deserve better. For every lie you discovered there are 10 you don't yet or may never know. This is a bad scenario in more ways than one.

You must be a saint or something. If I were you I would have kicked her to the curb once I confirmed my suspicions.
Cheating is no mistake. She intended to cheat on you and intended to risk getting pregnant by the guy she was cheating on you with (perhaps no birth control, no condom?). She also intended to lie to you so that you wouldn't find out. You deserve better and I hope you know that.
No one can say with certainty how an interview with a consular officer would go unless they faced the same situation. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to get a response from someone who had. She would have a lot of explaining to do and shouldn't even consider lying. She would have to convince them, complete strangers, that despite her infidelity she loves you and is marrying you out of love and not for immigration benefits. Sounds like she's going to have a tough time proving that given her actions.
I wish you all the best.