Re-entering on ESTA

[Becki Louise 0]

18 minutes ago, Caligirl1 said:

Just from my own experience: volunteering CAN get difficult if they have it  mandatory to provide us id/ drivers license and/ or social security number - i had that issue and ended up not being able to volunteer at the places I wanted to🤷‍♀️

I see, thank you!😊

[Caligirl1 205]

3 minutes ago, Becki Louise said:

I see, thank you!😊

Just try and ask- it might be different depending on the state,county or even city😉 good luck for your journey!🍀

[Becki Louise 0]

1 minute ago, Caligirl1 said:

Just try and ask- it might be different depending on the state,county or even city😉 good luck for your journey!🍀

Thank you. Don't suppose you also have experience in trying to visit a US partner for temporary long visits?

[Caligirl1 205]

6 minutes ago, Becki Louise said:

Thank you. Don't suppose you also have experience in trying to visit a US partner for temporary long visits?

Well, kinda.....I got here on Esta , had a ticket to return to Germany....but never did, cause of a medical emergency of my spouse. So I just stayed and when she was ok , we got married and I did AOS- the overstay of my tourist visa was not an issue, uscis didn't even ask about it. This is just the short version😉

[kiwibean 42]

8 hours ago, Becki Louise said:

Thank you. Don't suppose you also have experience in trying to visit a US partner for temporary long visits?

When I finished university I came to visit my boyfriend for 3 months.  I had no job, no ties to my country, really.  No-one blinked an eye.  It's only now I realize I was probably lucky to get in!  But I came for three months, went back home again.  I wanted to try it out and see if I'd be OK living in the US.  There's a lot of privilege in being a white woman from a safe country like NZ/Australia.  You might be surprised at what your privilege will get you, especially with the evidence that you are leaving again.  Just be prepared to be stopped and potentially denied, I guess!

(we later got married and moved to the US, all very legally)

[CMJuilland 484]

17 hours ago, Becki Louise said:

So I'd like to temporarily move to the US to be with him (I will not be working). 

Even if it is temporary, “moving to” and “living in” the U.S. on a tourist visa and ESTA is not permitted. These are for visiting purposes. Definitely be very careful with your words when talking to CBP, even when just visiting once.  

As others have said, your plan is risky, and you run the risk of being denied entry and having your ESTA privileges pulled on one of your entries. Also, from your post, it seems like that you would be in the U.S., except for your planned vacations to the UK, France, Italy, and others out of the U.S. Is that correct?

As for personal experiences, I pushed my luck for a couple of years before we got married (2015 to early 2017) and visited 5-6 times a year. However, my visits were all but one between 3 and 20 days (the longer one was 10 weeks, but we had originally planned for me to stay 20 days). Also, I had a job back in Switzerland with a very generous overtime policy, and on most of my visits, I carried with me a letter signed by my employer confirming my employment and time off, with exact dates on when I was expected back at work. Aside from that, I also always brought a copy of my lease, a copy of my active car insurance, and my active health care insurance policy to prove that I still had life back in Switzerland which would prompt me to return. And even with all of that, I was pulled into secondary once (understandably) and lucky to be admitted. If you don’t have home ties (a job, a lease, etc.) and visit often, being admitted seems less likely. 

 

[dusty_jewels 6]

15 hours ago, Becki Louise said:

Thank you. Don't suppose you also have experience in trying to visit a US partner for temporary long visits?

If it's OK, I'd love to chime in about my experience. Recently got approved for the green card after more than a year (to be fair I did get 2 RFEs that delayed the process lol.)

 

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, I'm Singaporean, he's American.

 

Figuring out how to be together weirdly hasn't been a big factor because we spent a lot of our relationship in different countries where I was allowed to stay for 3 months, go back home, and come back again for another 3 months.

 

He's a teacher who teaches English in different countries, and money wasn't too much of an issue for me (lots of savings from 6-figure job.)

 

However the pandemic changed many things, we were apart for 16 months and truly done with not being together.

 

What I did in 2021 was come to the USA on ESTA, stayed for about 2 months, and then we spent 3 months in Costa Rica while he was interviewing for a job. He got a good job while we were there, and then I came back to the US.

 

During my first time coming to the US after more than 1 year, I got withheld and taken to the secondary inspection room (they didn't let me use my phone but I managed to sneak a text to inform my then-boyfriend about it) and questioned. I had to show them my bank account, which is a very big deal, as everyone knows, because they want to know you have the means to not leech off them.

 

The reason why I was questioned was because in 2019, I had extended my stay in the US to almost 3 months instead of my intended 2.5 mths. Even though the ESTA allows that, immigration doesn't like that.

 

So when I came back from Costa Rica, I very well knew I might not get back in, and I warned my then-fiancé and soon-to-be-in-laws. I had the flight out of the US printed out + my job ties to my home country. However, the officer refused to look at those, he didn't care, he just questioned me again about my intentions on staying. He let me in after.

 

My point is, if I were you, I'd prioritize time and finances, even if you're financially OK now. There can be a lot of unexpected costs and I would prioritize stability over anything else.

 

As in, I'd go and stay about 2.5-2.8 months in the US, get married on paper and start the process of sending in the I-130, Petition for Alien Relative. This is not an easy process because it's all your financial documents, proof of relationship, affidavits.... man.... it took 2 months for me to gather all of that and I had a lawyer.

 

Then you have to make sure you fill in the form EXACTLY or they will send a RFE to resubmit.

 

Then, go to UK/Italy like you planned, and start consular processing for the green card. I believe this is still how it works, anyone feel free to correct me.

 

Then he can visit, or come over for Christmas like you planned. He can then visit you again in UK/France March 2024... and then you'll both settle in Australia for a bit. By then things should have proceeded smoothly with the green card (as in, from what I know.)

 

If you're talking about engagement now, there's not much difference between getting married on paper now vs next year except time, so I'd go ahead and do that and plan the wedding ceremony for later.

 

For us, it was both a personal and practical choice, it just killed two birds with one stone. COVID already delayed us 2 years... for us long-distance folks, proper planning will help a lot because later you have to deal with things like social security, taxes, insurance, etc.

 

Also, there were unexpected health problems with us and with family... you just want to be able to handle all of that.

 

I'm very grateful to my past self that I've managed to avoid unnecessary hold ups and relationship problems due to financial stress. USCIS waived the interview, and I'm very grateful for that.

 

Right now, we're living in a very nice apartment complex in Las Vegas, with great neighbors, and I can properly be on my husband's medical insurance. My father-in-law recently had a series of strokes and we can go deal with that instead of worrying about the green card.

 

And yes, I would say that you being from the UK helps, it's more like Filippino passports that the USCIS pays more attention to.

Edited March 24, 2023 by dusty_jewels

[Becki Louise 0]

9 hours ago, dusty_jewels said:

If it's OK, I'd love to chime in about my experience. Recently got approved for the green card after more than a year (to be fair I did get 2 RFEs that delayed the process lol.)

 

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, I'm Singaporean, he's American.

 

Figuring out how to be together weirdly hasn't been a big factor because we spent a lot of our relationship in different countries where I was allowed to stay for 3 months, go back home, and come back again for another 3 months.

 

He's a teacher who teaches English in different countries, and money wasn't too much of an issue for me (lots of savings from 6-figure job.)

 

However the pandemic changed many things, we were apart for 16 months and truly done with not being together.

 

What I did in 2021 was come to the USA on ESTA, stayed for about 2 months, and then we spent 3 months in Costa Rica while he was interviewing for a job. He got a good job while we were there, and then I came back to the US.

 

During my first time coming to the US after more than 1 year, I got withheld and taken to the secondary inspection room (they didn't let me use my phone but I managed to sneak a text to inform my then-boyfriend about it) and questioned. I had to show them my bank account, which is a very big deal, as everyone knows, because they want to know you have the means to not leech off them.

 

The reason why I was questioned was because in 2019, I had extended my stay in the US to almost 3 months instead of my intended 2.5 mths. Even though the ESTA allows that, immigration doesn't like that.

 

So when I came back from Costa Rica, I very well knew I might not get back in, and I warned my then-fiancé and soon-to-be-in-laws. I had the flight out of the US printed out + my job ties to my home country. However, the officer refused to look at those, he didn't care, he just questioned me again about my intentions on staying. He let me in after.

 

My point is, if I were you, I'd prioritize time and finances, even if you're financially OK now. There can be a lot of unexpected costs and I would prioritize stability over anything else.

 

As in, I'd go and stay about 2.5-2.8 months in the US, get married on paper and start the process of sending in the I-130, Petition for Alien Relative. This is not an easy process because it's all your financial documents, proof of relationship, affidavits.... man.... it took 2 months for me to gather all of that and I had a lawyer.

 

Then you have to make sure you fill in the form EXACTLY or they will send a RFE to resubmit.

 

Then, go to UK/Italy like you planned, and start consular processing for the green card. I believe this is still how it works, anyone feel free to correct me.

 

Then he can visit, or come over for Christmas like you planned. He can then visit you again in UK/France March 2024... and then you'll both settle in Australia for a bit. By then things should have proceeded smoothly with the green card (as in, from what I know.)

 

If you're talking about engagement now, there's not much difference between getting married on paper now vs next year except time, so I'd go ahead and do that and plan the wedding ceremony for later.

 

For us, it was both a personal and practical choice, it just killed two birds with one stone. COVID already delayed us 2 years... for us long-distance folks, proper planning will help a lot because later you have to deal with things like social security, taxes, insurance, etc.

 

Also, there were unexpected health problems with us and with family... you just want to be able to handle all of that.

 

I'm very grateful to my past self that I've managed to avoid unnecessary hold ups and relationship problems due to financial stress. USCIS waived the interview, and I'm very grateful for that.

 

Right now, we're living in a very nice apartment complex in Las Vegas, with great neighbors, and I can properly be on my husband's medical insurance. My father-in-law recently had a series of strokes and we can go deal with that instead of worrying about the green card.

 

And yes, I would say that you being from the UK helps, it's more like Filippino passports that the USCIS pays more attention to.

This is amazing information thank you so much!

Yes, I've been in secondary questionning before, it's quite daunting, isn't it?!

And yes, for partner visas, I went through all of that with my ex to get us residency in Australia, again a daunting process haha.

But thank you so much, it's amazing to hear from someone with experience in this. Really helps 💛

[*Snowdrop* 603]

So I do have experience of multiple visits to the US to see a partner. I did this over three years - including one where we were married and the visa was processing. I used to fly five to six times a year for 1-2 week trips. The big difference was each time I was returning to a job - at quite a well known and prestigious company and after the first couple of trips I was also asked when I was returning and where I worked - that seemed to satisfy them. You will seem more of a risk as you have no official reason to return. Also the only time I did a 2.5 month stay was the very last trip before my visa was processed and I moved permanently. 

 

This is what I would do with your current schedule:

 

 

- I am visiting him for 2 weeks May/July.

- I am going to the UK to visit family and for a trip to Italy for 4 weeks.

- I would visit him again for 4 weeks, end of July to end of August.  You stay in the UK or Europe.

- He comes to the UK for a 2 week visit.

- I would come back with him early September.

- We would vacation out of the US for 10 days/2 weeks before heading back together. Meet him somewhere outside of the US for your vacation in Oct.

- Visit him for 2-3 weeks in November, you go back to the UK

- He flies to the UK for Christmas, for 2 weeks.

- I would fly back again with him in Jan, we would get engaged in the following couple of months.

- We plan a 2/3 week vacation to the UK/France in March.

- I fly back to the US with him and we would marry in May.

 

You are still seeing each other regularly but you are both spending more time in your own countries than each others which will keep the immigration people happy

 

[Crazy Cat 39,749]

6 minutes ago, *Snowdrop* said:

You are still seeing each other regularly but you are both spending more time in your own countries than each others which will keep the immigration people happy

But now, the OP wants to apply for a B2.  

[ineedadisplayname 444]

6 hours ago, *Snowdrop* said:

I fly back to the US with him and we would marry in May.

What happens after? You stay in the US. leave the US after getting married?

[*Snowdrop* 603]

9 hours ago, ineedadisplayname said:

What happens after? You stay in the US. leave the US after getting married?

You probably need to tag the OP - I was just quoting her - I'm not the one getting married!

[powerpuff 6,018]

10 hours ago, ineedadisplayname said:

What happens after? You stay in the US. leave the US after getting married?

I asked OP this before in the other thread and never received an answer.