Homesickness, when did it get better for you?

[SalishSea 16,978]

3 hours ago, ashley_ann said:

“ you must feel so lucky to be here?!” 

Wow....

[CH1314 8]

4 minutes ago, MarkCarp said:

I think you did not make the best decision, because you doubt it !

Didnt realise how home sick i would be

[SalishSea 16,978]

5 minutes ago, MarkCarp said:

I think you did not make the best decision, because you doubt it !

Unhelpful, and also not true.

 

It is normal for adults to question all sorts of decisions we make.  It doesn't mean they were not the best decisions.

[MarkCarp 5]

Leaving your home country is like leaving all your life behind, all your memories and connections. It is very hard!

Many are gone till they get their passport or other benefits and then go back! 

Edited September 24, 2021 by MarkCarp

[MarkCarp 5]

4 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Unhelpful, and also not true.

 

It is normal for adults to question all sorts of decisions we make.  It doesn't mean they were not the best decisions.

Very helpful!  And it was not the best decision based on what she said. Many regret immigrating but they are too cocky to admit it ! 

Edited September 24, 2021 by MarkCarp

[ashley_ann 179]

1 minute ago, MarkCarp said:

Very helpful!  And it was not the best decision based on what she said. Many regret for immigrating but they are too cocky to admit it ! 

I think there is a difference between regret and questioning. 

 

We all are able to question our decisions as now we have to face a hind sight bias. Regretting is another beast. 

I think we have all questioned a big decision in our life, it doesn't mean that it wasn't the best one. Even the best ones come with questions and are hard to work through. 

So respectfully I disagree with you. 

[Allaboutwaiting 2,500]

My approach has always been seeing it as a years long adventure; one of many I've had so far.

I love that no matter where I am or for how long, I always have a place I can go back to.

 

Three months is too little to adapt, so don't be hard on yourself; longing for home is normal and there's quite an amount of changes you need to process.

 

You might one day find yourself naturally embracing the place you're at or deciding it is time to look for a different place that resonates with you.

 

Truly hope you feel better soon. 

[ashley_ann 179]

16 minutes ago, CH1314 said:

Ive been here since November and i know exactly how u feel. Just doesn't feel like home and i miss my family so much and feel extremely guilty about leaving my parents and it doesnt help that my husbands family arent the most welcoming of people. Some times i wonder did i make the right decision by moving here. Really affected my mental health but taking each day slowly

I really wish I could give you a huge hug, but here is a virtual hug from me. 

 

I think with things like this even though we know it was the best decision given our choices it comes with things that we knew were coming but we just don't know to the extent. It's normal to have questions and question it. It's not easy. I question it at some points of the day as well. But I think this is where we learn from see our hind sight bias.. and we can definitely learn to work through them... even tougher when you don't have an extended family to support you like your own family would. 

 

It's a huge toll all of this. And I understand. Feel free to reach out to me when you're feeling low ❤️

[MarkCarp 5]

Homesickness is not going to disappear. Immigrating is not a natural thing and like most most artificial things, it is a price to pay for it.

No matter how many new projects you will start, the regret of leaving the loved ones, your house, culture, memories will be with you till the end. 

Edited September 24, 2021 by MarkCarp

[ashley_ann 179]

14 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Wow....

Right??

[MarkCarp 5]

People are gonna tell you : get a dog, do this do that but they don't understand the pain... 

It's all a hoax. Immigrating is hard no matter how you put it.

Of course, you can have a nice life as an immigrant, get married, build a circle of friends, get yourself involved in different activities and projects, take trips to you home country etc. It is up to you to do what s the best for you!

Edited September 24, 2021 by MarkCarp

[ashley_ann 179]

6 minutes ago, MarkCarp said:

Homesickness is not going to disappear. Immigrating is not a natural thing and like most most artificial things, it is a price to pay for it.

No matter how many new projects you will start, the regret of leaving the loved ones, your house, culture, memories will be with you till the end. 

I can understand this. 

Logically I think we all know the price we have paid and will continue to pay. However it is a grieving process and its not so linear. 

We know but we still have to work through the emotions. We're all just somewhere in this messy line of grieving what we've lost so we can appreciate what we've gained. 

[littlewingxx 29]

19 hours ago, Daphne K said:

I have been here for 2 years now and I am still not settled. We live in a very small conservative town as well and it is a world away from The Netherlands.

I still feel like an outsider looking in, trying to understand when people are talking about sports or where they went to highschool/university because I don’t know anything about it. These seem to be topics that are very normal to discuss here but it’s just not something Dutch people talk about. I feel no connection to American society, don’t feel like a part of it.

Maybe I will get used to it or maybe that’s just a reality of moving to a new country, I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️
“Home” is still The Netherlands for me. 

 

 

I've been here for four years now and I still feel this way. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to be living so out of your comfort zone - I'd find that super tough too!

 

I'm lucky to at least live on the West Coast in a progressive area, but I do not feel connected to American Society either. I do love being on the West Coast and have enjoyed opportunities to travel and see some truly beautiful places that before coming here I'd only read about or seen in books or on TV. I also love how close we are to Canada (hello ketchup chips and being able to buy Cadbury chocolate in Walmart!). I've made some awesome friends and met some wonderful people too, but Home will always be Scotland to me, and try as I might there are just so many things I can't get used to here. 

 

I think the past year and a half have been difficult for all of us in varying ways too, so that doesn't help any feelings of sadness or homesickness either. For me, my son was born in April last year just as everything ground to a halt and shut down. The past year and a half have been relentless, with neither my husband and I having any time off and no family willing to help. That just intensified my feelings of disconnect and homesickness because all of my family in the UK were doing whatever little things they could to help us out, whilst my husband's family who live less than a minute away have done nothing. I could count on one hand how much time they've spent with my son...but that's a rant for another day 😉.

 

So no real advice, just solidarity - moving so far from your family, your familiar places and things is really hard!

[BasmaHicham 34]

2 hours ago, MarkCarp said:

Some people argue the fact that immigrants left their country, abandoned the ship...instead of staying home and helping their country grow! 

Sorry to tell you this is not true. I came to the USA when I was 20 years old, I was so depressed the first 2 years as I left my mother behind and it was the worst day of my life, when I remember her face at the airport I still cry. However, today, 17 years later, it was the best decision I made in my life, and I can proudly say America is home for me. Even though I came from a totally different land, as I am Muslim, I wear hijab and I am totally different than most Americans. I am American keeping my values and my cultures that I don’t want to change. 
to OP, just take it easy, day by day, try to adjust by attending schools, find a job, have a goal, a professional and a personal one. Keep busy and some day you will adjust and It will come soon I promise. 

[Sarah&Facundo 579]

My husband came in 2018 and is still overwhelmingly homesick. He misses home so much and does not recognize the US as home at all. We are fortunate that we were going to his home every year,  but his country's border has been closed since March 2020. I feel so bad watching him in so much pain. He has not assimilated at all. He works and he recently finished his Associates degree at the community college. Thankfully we live in a more liberal area, which makes it a little better. I couldn't imagine living in a conservative area because even I, the US citizen, would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable there. 

What you are feeling is extremely normal. You aren't alone. Immigrating is HARD. People who think it's a piece of cake to pick up and permanently move to a different country are totally ignorant.  I have so much respect for people who do it (both documented and undocumented). You are so strong!