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Trump announces that houses of worship are ‘essential,’ calls on governors to open them up

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline

I personally think this is asking for a spike in cases.  However, if people want to go let them go.  I wouldn't go anywhere near a house of worship right now.  

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

With sincere respect toward those who are particularly vulnerable, it's about time that the President stood up for this.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: O-2 Visa Country: Sweden
Timeline

    sorry T-Bone to slip into your line of work

 

The story goes......"

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Israel
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I don't have a problem with them being open, but at a limited capacity that allows proper social distancing and persistent sanitation 

09/14/2012: Sent I-130
10/04/2012: NOA1 Received
12/11/2012: NOA2 Received
12/18/2012: NVC Received Case
01/08/2013: Received Case Number/IIN; DS-3032/I-864 Bill
01/08/2013: DS-3032 Sent
01/18/2013: DS-3032 Accepted; Received IV Bill
01/23/2013: Paid I-864 Bill; Paid IV Bill
02/05/2013: IV Package Sent
02/18/2013: AOS Package Sent
03/22/2013: Case complete
05/06/2013: Interview Scheduled

06/05/2013: Visa issued!

06/28/2013: VISA RECEIVED

07/09/2013: POE - EWR. Went super fast and easy. 5 minutes of waiting and then just a signature and finger print.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

05/06/2016: One month late - overnighted form N-400.

06/01/2016: Original Biometrics appointment, had to reschedule due to being away.

07/01/2016: Biometrics Completed.

08/17/2016: Interview scheduled & approved.

09/16/2016: Scheduled oath ceremony.

09/16/2016: THE END - 4 year long process all done!

 

 

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If you can pack people in the big box stores, allow liquor stores to be open,  then leave the churches be. 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
13 minutes ago, Nature Boy 2.0 said:

If you can pack people in the big box stores, allow liquor stores to be open,  then leave the churches be. 

baptists are adaptable......

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline
3 hours ago, 90DayFinancier said:

The story goes......

That's the best short version that I've seen.  Stay tuned...

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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Filed: Timeline
3 hours ago, 90DayFinancier said:

    sorry T-Bone to slip into your line of work

 

The story goes......"

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

You REALLY shouldn't post while on the sauce (or ambien.  Just ask NB2).  Just sayin'...

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

GOD'S "TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT" QUESTIONNAIRE

(MUST BE SUBMITTED IN ADVANCE TO YOUR STATE'S GOVERNOR OR HEALTH DEPT. CHIEF)

       God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage.  To better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.
       Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential if your state governor or Health Department chief concurs, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct or State-ordered SWAT team response to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about your deity?
  __ Newspaper
  __ Bible
  __ Torah
  __ Television
  __ Book of Mormon
  __ Divine Inspiration
  __ Dead Sea Scrolls
  __ My Mama Done Tol' Me
  __ Near-death Experience
  __ Near-life Experience
  __ National Public Radio
  __ Tabloid
  __ Burning Shrubbery
  __ Other (specify): _____________

2. Which model deity did you acquire?
  __ Yahweh
  __ Father, Son & Holy Ghost (Trinity Pak)
  __ Jehovah
  __ Jesus
  __ Krishna
  __ Zeus and entourage (Olympus Pak)
  __ Odin and entourage (Valhalla Pak)
  __ Allah
  __ Satan
  __ Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature
  __ God 1.0a (Hairy Thunderer)
  __ God 1.0b (Cosmic Muffin)
  __ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god

3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?

  __ Yes  __ No

If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here.  Please indicate all that apply:
  __ Not eternal
  __ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit entire cosmos
  __ Not omniscient
  __ Not omnipotent
  __ Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations)
  __ Permits sex outside of marriage
  __ Prohibits sex outside of marriage
  __ Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera)
  __ Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people
  __ Looks after life other than that on Earth
  __ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched
  __ Requires burnt offerings
  __ Requires virgin sacrifices

4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a deity?  Please check all that apply.
  __ Indoctrinated by parents
  __ Needed a reason to live
  __ Indoctrinated by society
  __ Needed focus regarding Whom to despise
  __ Imaginary friend grew up
  __ Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense
  __ Hate to think for myself
  __ Wanted to meet girls/boys
  __ Fear of death
  __ Wanted to piss off parents
  __ Couldn't see why Geraldo should exist
  __ Needed a day away from work
  __ Desperate need for certainty
  __ Like organ-music
  __ Need to feel Morally Superior
  __ Thought Jerry Falwell was cool
  __ Stuff was falling out of the sky
  __ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it

5. Have you ever worshipped a deity before?  If so, which false god were you fooled by?  Please check all that apply:
  __ Mick Jagger
  __ Cthulhu
  __ Baal
  __ The Almighty Dollar
  __ Bill Gates
  __ Left-wing Liberalism
  __ Ra
  __ Beelzebub

  __ Gretchen Whitmer
  __ Barney the Big Purple Dinosaur
  __ The Great Spirit
  __ The Great Pumpkin
  __ The Sun
  __ Elvis

  __ Anthony Fauci
  __ Cindy Crawford
  __ The Moon
  __ A burning shrub
  __ Other: ________________

6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God?  Please check all that apply:
  __ Tarot
  __ Lottery
  __ Astrology
  __ Television
  __ Fortune cookies
  __ Dear Abby
  __ Psychic Friends Network
  __ Dianetics

  __ Andrew Cuomo

  __ Fredo Cuomo
  __ Palmistry
  __ Playboy and/or Playgirl
  __ Self-help books
  __ Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll
  __ Biorhythms
  __ Alcohol
  __ Bill Clinton
  __ Rush Limbaugh
  __ Tea Leaves
  __ EST
  __ CompuServe
  __ Mantras
  __ Jimmy Swaggert
  __ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle)
  __ Human Sacrifice
  __ Pyramids
  __ Wandering around a desert
  __ Insurance policies

  __ Gretchen Whitmer

  __ Anthony Fauci
  __ Burning shrubbery
  __ Barney T.B.P.D.
  __ Xena, Warrior Princess
  __ Other:_____________________
  __ None

7. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve a balanced level of felt presence and blind faith.  Which would you prefer (circle one)?

  a. More Divine Intervention
  b. Less Divine Intervention
  c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
  d. Don't know... what's Divine Intervention?

  e. To rely on Anthony Fauci

8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles.  Please rate on a scale of 1 to 5 His handling of the following (1 = unsatisfactory, 5 = excellent):
  a. Disasters:
     flood              1   2   3   4   5
     famine             1   2   3   4   5
     earthquake         1   2   3   4   5
     war                1   2   3   4   5
     pestilence         1   2   3   4   5
     Covid-19             1   2   3   4   5
     e-mail spam        1   2   3   4   5
     AOL                1   2   3   4   5

  b. Miracles:
     rescues                              1  2   3   4   5
     spontaneous remissions               1  2   3   4   5
     stars hovering over jerkwater towns    1  2   3   4   5
     crying statues                       1  2   3   4   5
     water changing to wine               1  2   3   4   5
     walking on water                     1  2   3   4   5
     VCRs that set their own clocks       1  2   3   4   5
     Anthony Cuomo's leadership           1   2    3    4    5

     Gretchen Whitmer's leadership     1   2   3   4   5
     getting any sex whatsoever           1  2   3   4   5

9. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services?  (Attach an additional sheet if necessary).

If you are able to complete the questionnaire and return it to one of our conveniently located drop-off boxes by July 30, you will be entered in the One Free Miracle of Your Choice drawing (chances of winning are approximately one in 6.02 x 10^23^, depending on number of beings entered).  Eligibility and disqualification will be determined by your state's governor or Health Department chief.

Edited by TBoneTX

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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8 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

GOD'S "TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT" QUESTIONNAIRE

(MUST BE SUBMITTED IN ADVANCE TO YOUR STATE'S GOVERNOR OR HEALTH DEPT. CHIEF)

       God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage.  To better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following questions.
       Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely confidential if your state governor or Health Department chief concurs, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you prefer a direct or State-ordered SWAT team response to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about your deity?
  __ Newspaper
  __ Bible
  __ Torah
  __ Television
  __ Book of Mormon
  __ Divine Inspiration
  __ Dead Sea Scrolls
  __ My Mama Done Tol' Me
  __ Near-death Experience
  __ Near-life Experience
  __ National Public Radio
  __ Tabloid
  __ Burning Shrubbery
  __ Other (specify): _____________

2. Which model deity did you acquire?
  __ Yahweh
  __ Father, Son & Holy Ghost (Trinity Pak)
  __ Jehovah
  __ Jesus
  __ Krishna
  __ Zeus and entourage (Olympus Pak)
  __ Odin and entourage (Valhalla Pak)
  __ Allah
  __ Satan
  __ Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature
  __ God 1.0a (Hairy Thunderer)
  __ God 1.0b (Cosmic Muffin)
  __ None of the above; I was taken in by a false god

3. Did your God come to you undamaged, with all parts in good working order and with no obvious breakage or missing attributes?

  __ Yes  __ No

If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered here.  Please indicate all that apply:
  __ Not eternal
  __ Finite in space/Does not occupy or inhabit entire cosmos
  __ Not omniscient
  __ Not omnipotent
  __ Not infinitely plastic (incapable of being all things to all creations)
  __ Permits sex outside of marriage
  __ Prohibits sex outside of marriage
  __ Makes mistakes (Geraldo Rivera)
  __ Makes or permits bad things to happen to good people
  __ Looks after life other than that on Earth
  __ When beseeched, doesn't stay beseeched
  __ Requires burnt offerings
  __ Requires virgin sacrifices

4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a deity?  Please check all that apply.
  __ Indoctrinated by parents
  __ Needed a reason to live
  __ Indoctrinated by society
  __ Needed focus regarding Whom to despise
  __ Imaginary friend grew up
  __ Wanted to know Jesus in the Biblical sense
  __ Hate to think for myself
  __ Wanted to meet girls/boys
  __ Fear of death
  __ Wanted to piss off parents
  __ Couldn't see why Geraldo should exist
  __ Needed a day away from work
  __ Desperate need for certainty
  __ Like organ-music
  __ Need to feel Morally Superior
  __ Thought Jerry Falwell was cool
  __ Stuff was falling out of the sky
  __ My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it

5. Have you ever worshipped a deity before?  If so, which false god were you fooled by?  Please check all that apply:
  __ Mick Jagger
  __ Cthulhu
  __ Baal
  __ The Almighty Dollar
  __ Bill Gates
  __ Left-wing Liberalism
  __ Ra
  __ Beelzebub

  __ Gretchen Whitmer
  __ Barney the Big Purple Dinosaur
  __ The Great Spirit
  __ The Great Pumpkin
  __ The Sun
  __ Elvis

  __ Anthony Fauci
  __ Cindy Crawford
  __ The Moon
  __ A burning shrub
  __ Other: ________________

6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God?  Please check all that apply:
  __ Tarot
  __ Lottery
  __ Astrology
  __ Television
  __ Fortune cookies
  __ Dear Abby
  __ Psychic Friends Network
  __ Dianetics

  __ Andrew Cuomo

  __ Fredo Cuomo
  __ Palmistry
  __ Playboy and/or Playgirl
  __ Self-help books
  __ Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll
  __ Biorhythms
  __ Alcohol
  __ Bill Clinton
  __ Rush Limbaugh
  __ Tea Leaves
  __ EST
  __ CompuServe
  __ Mantras
  __ Jimmy Swaggert
  __ Crystals (not including Crystal Gayle)
  __ Human Sacrifice
  __ Pyramids
  __ Wandering around a desert
  __ Insurance policies

  __ Gretchen Whitmer

  __ Anthony Fauci
  __ Burning shrubbery
  __ Barney T.B.P.D.
  __ Xena, Warrior Princess
  __ Other:_____________________
  __ None

7. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve a balanced level of felt presence and blind faith.  Which would you prefer (circle one)?

  a. More Divine Intervention
  b. Less Divine Intervention
  c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
  d. Don't know... what's Divine Intervention?

  e. To rely on Anthony Fauci

8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles.  Please rate on a scale of 1 to 5 His handling of the following (1 = unsatisfactory, 5 = excellent):
  a. Disasters:
     flood              1   2   3   4   5
     famine             1   2   3   4   5
     earthquake         1   2   3   4   5
     war                1   2   3   4   5
     pestilence         1   2   3   4   5
     Covid-19             1   2   3   4   5
     e-mail spam        1   2   3   4   5
     AOL                1   2   3   4   5

  b. Miracles:
     rescues                              1  2   3   4   5
     spontaneous remissions               1  2   3   4   5
     stars hovering over jerkwater towns    1  2   3   4   5
     crying statues                       1  2   3   4   5
     water changing to wine               1  2   3   4   5
     walking on water                     1  2   3   4   5
     VCRs that set their own clocks       1  2   3   4   5
     Anthony Cuomo's leadership           1   2    3    4    5

     Gretchen Whitmer's leadership     1   2   3   4   5
     getting any sex whatsoever           1  2   3   4   5

9. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services?  (Attach an additional sheet if necessary).

If you are able to complete the questionnaire and return it to one of our conveniently located drop-off boxes by July 30, you will be entered in the One Free Miracle of Your Choice drawing (chances of winning are approximately one in 6.02 x 10^23^, depending on number of beings entered).  Eligibility and disqualification will be determined by your state's governor or Health Department chief.

the longest worst joke in the history of the world 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline

Then obviously worth an upvote! :dance: 

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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