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omega300man

How to get divorced with my Chinese wife who LIVES in China

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Posted (edited)

Okay, real quick... Met a Chinese woman while working in China. Got along great. We fell in love. Her son was awesome and we really clicked. This woman is well off and has a visa to travel in the U.S. every year. We married in Las Vegas in 2016. Happy times. I moved to China full time in 2017 but she became controlling, jealous and ultimate mentally unstable and even violent. My health quickly deteriorated and I was in such poor health I could have died. I fled China 15 months ago to get away from her and from China.  I'll never go back. 

 

In live in NC and you need to be separated for 1 year to file here. Okay, it's now over a year. But how to serve my wife who lives in China? I have no clue after consulting attorneya I am being told I'll need to spend 10 grand minimum. I do not have even close to that. I'd be bankrupt. 

 

Also, considering my wife has very powerful friends in her city it might be impossible to serve her. That city is corrupt in ways you cannot imagine. 

 

Meanwhile she is threatening to fly to America and sue me for spousal support, only to cause me as much pain as possible. 

 

Her assets are all in her son's name (to protect her) and he is just 15 years old. Great kid. But afraid of her. He still messages me on wechat in secret. 

 

If she comes here it is easier to serve, but I wonder what mess I am in. I have NO ASSETS other than a 16 year old Chevrolet that is falling apart. My health has improved greatly  and I am working, but it is paycheck to paycheck. In a few months I might even be debt free.

 

The Chinese wife stole all the money I made in China, but there is no way to prove that in court. I don't even think about it as it's 12 grand I'll never get back. 

 

Looking for advice. The situation is insanely stressful, especially with my father now having early dementia. The pressure being placed on me is insane.

Edited by omega300man

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7 minutes ago, omega300man said:

 But how to serve my wife who lives in China?

There are alternate forms of service, such as registered mail or publishing in a newspaper.


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You can divorce based upon wherever you currently live.

The cost, however, is not something cheap if she wants to fight it.

Let the attorney deal with serving her. Regardless of corruption, if the verifiable attempt is made (send Registered Mail or equivalent), that should be enough for the court. If she chooses not to respond or let herself be served, she'll have to deal with the consequences of not being represented.


Timelines:

Spoiler

AOS (I-485 + I-131 + I-765):

9/25/17: sent forms to Chicago

9/27/17: received by USCIS

10/4/17: NOA1 electronic notification received

10/10/17: NOA1 hard copy received. Social Security card being issued in married name (3rd attempt!)

10/14/17: Biometrics appointment notice received

10/25/17: Biometrics

1/2/18: EAD + AP approved (no website update)

1/5/18: EAD + AP mailed

1/8/18: EAD + AP approval notice hardcopies received

1/10/18: EAD + AP received

9/5/18: Interview scheduled notice

10/17/18: Interview

10/24/18: Green card produced notice

10/25/18: Formal approval

10/31/18: Green card received

 

K-1:

Spoiler

I-129F

12/1/17: sent

12/14/17: NOA1 hard copy received

3/10/17: RFE (IMB verification)

3/22/17: RFE response received

3/24/17: Approved!

3/30/17: NOA2 hard copy received

 

NVC

4/6/2017: Received

4/12/2017: Sent to Riyadh embassy

4/16/2017: Case received at Riyadh embassy

4/21/2017: Request case transfer to Manila, approved 4/24/2017

 

K-1

5/1/2017: Case received by Manila (1 week embassy transfer??? Lucky~)

7/13/2017: Interview: APPROVED!!!

7/19/2017: Visa in hand

8/15/2017: POE

 

 

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Posted (edited)

China does not allow divorce via notification with registered mail. 

 

The key here is I am not rich. Not well off. China broke me financially. I have nothing left. SHE has everything. She is filthy stinking rich and unfortunately , insane. 

Edited by omega300man

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Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, omega300man said:

China does not allow divorce via notification with registered mail. 

 

The key here is I am not rich. Not well off. China broke me financially. I have nothing left. SHE has everything. She is filthy stinking rich and unfortunately , insane. 

Who cares what China allows? You simply need to meet the requirements in NC.

 

Edit looks like you have to use a form acceptable in the foreign country possibly. 

 

"Go to the U.S. Department of State website and read the rules for service of process in foreign countries. The rules for different countries are different depending if a country has entered into a treaty to which the United States is a party. Generally, for service to be valid in a U.S. court, it must be valid in the country in which you are serving your spouse. Different countries have different rules. You may be able to serve by mail, by a designated foreign agent or by publication depending on the country."

Edited by ThomasNC1988

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The US permits any verifiable delivery format. If you live in the US and file there, then that's what the court will go by. Although they (or more precisely, your attorney) may suggest another delivery mechanism that both sides find suitable.


Timelines:

Spoiler

AOS (I-485 + I-131 + I-765):

9/25/17: sent forms to Chicago

9/27/17: received by USCIS

10/4/17: NOA1 electronic notification received

10/10/17: NOA1 hard copy received. Social Security card being issued in married name (3rd attempt!)

10/14/17: Biometrics appointment notice received

10/25/17: Biometrics

1/2/18: EAD + AP approved (no website update)

1/5/18: EAD + AP mailed

1/8/18: EAD + AP approval notice hardcopies received

1/10/18: EAD + AP received

9/5/18: Interview scheduled notice

10/17/18: Interview

10/24/18: Green card produced notice

10/25/18: Formal approval

10/31/18: Green card received

 

K-1:

Spoiler

I-129F

12/1/17: sent

12/14/17: NOA1 hard copy received

3/10/17: RFE (IMB verification)

3/22/17: RFE response received

3/24/17: Approved!

3/30/17: NOA2 hard copy received

 

NVC

4/6/2017: Received

4/12/2017: Sent to Riyadh embassy

4/16/2017: Case received at Riyadh embassy

4/21/2017: Request case transfer to Manila, approved 4/24/2017

 

K-1

5/1/2017: Case received by Manila (1 week embassy transfer??? Lucky~)

7/13/2017: Interview: APPROVED!!!

7/19/2017: Visa in hand

8/15/2017: POE

 

 

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Should be easy enough to find out what NC needs to divorce, google is your friend. Sounds like you also need spousal support.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Should be easy enough to find out what NC needs to divorce, google is your friend. Sounds like you also need spousal support.

I am not sure what you mean by spousal support. I do not need or want anything from her. Just a divorce so I can move on with my life. 

 

"Consult an attorney" is easy to advise. But I do not have thousands of dollars. This is why so many people cannot even get a divorce. It is very expensive at times. She might be rich, but she will claim she is poor. Never mind that she will be able to fly over here and hire an attorney! It's insanity. The woman is loaded.

 

What I am really hoping is that someone who has gone through something similar will see this thread and advise me on what can happen. 

Edited by omega300man

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Well you can divorce with a Lawyer or DIY,. 

 

If you do not divorce you will remain married.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Posted (edited)

Yes, of course.  That is obvious. DIY would be hopelessly impossible.  I will naturally need an attorney.  I just wish I had an idea of what I am up against because I have zero way of coming up with thousands upon thousands of dollars. The wife stole my entire bank account so I am broke and in debt. Life is a

Edited by Ryan H
Reason for edit: to remove alternate spellings of profanity.

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So you remain marries unless she wants to initiate something, presumably she would file in China and I have no idea how that works, would you even no she filed?


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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1 minute ago, Boiler said:

So you remain marries unless she wants to initiate something, presumably she would file in China and I have no idea how that works, would you even no she filed?

Why would I want to remain married? If you have nothing to offer please move on. I want that woman out of my life.  That woman sent to men to beat me up before I fled China and I was lucky to get away without much injury. She is certifiable and I want all links to her removed. She is a certifiable psycho. 

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