does it affect my VAWA case if i have a baby with other guy during marriage

[jacobamanda63 28]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Does he know he is a Father?

I don't want to tell him . I don't answer his texts and phone calls . 

 

[jacobamanda63 28]

6 minutes ago, Going through said:

I would guess no...OP said she hasn't had contact with 2nd guy (since finding out the ex-husband's paternity results) in her first post.

Yes, you are right. 

I don't believe any man any more after my ex abuser husband abused me. we dated with each other for 3 1/2 years but he never showed me his old anger. 

 I know there are so many men are good out there but I just feel so hurtful from my ex abuser husband and I don't believe man anymore. 

  I dont want to remarried or date with any man in future . 

I am good enough with my baby . 

[geowrian 22,335]

41 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Marry the boyfriend and adjust through him?

She'll still need to show that the previous marriage wasn't fraudulent for a realistic expectation at approval. It avoids the abuse requirement, but I'm willing to bet that part wasn't the issue given the documented abuse items noted.

 

10 minutes ago, jacobamanda63 said:

I don't want to tell him . I don't answer his texts and phone calls .

That's not fair to the child or to him. This is bigger than yourself.

[jacobamanda63 28]

2 hours ago, Going through said:

 

It's already been proven that your ex husband isn't the father of your baby----and it sounds like you're unsure if your friend is the father....pretty easy to figure out unless you've had sex with a third man during your marriage?

 

Get the second man tested.  Yes, the final divorce decree is needed before your case can be approved.

I was faithful in my ex abuser husband. I never had 2nd or third man in marriage.

It was big mistake that i met once ex boyfriend after couple times I was abused . I have no one to talked with about what happened . He was the only one I can talked with. and I was very weak at that moment .

   My ex abuser husband not allowed me to go to my church even he said I can before married. He don't let me have any friend after we married and I was enough to had him . 

I did not knew what he did to me was abuse. also I did not knew it was abusive marriage until the social worker told me.  

[jacobamanda63 28]

4 minutes ago, geowrian said:

She'll still need to show that the previous marriage wasn't fraudulent for a realistic expectation at approval. It avoids the abuse requirement, but I'm willing to bet that part wasn't the issue given the documented abuse items noted.

 

That's not fair to the child or to him. This is bigger than yourself.

Do i need to tell him? I never thought about that. I don't know what should i do for this. I think it is good enough just my baby and me. 

[Rusty72 68]

24 minutes ago, jacobamanda63 said:

I was faithful in my ex abuser husband. I never had 2nd or third man in marriage.

It was big mistake that i met once ex boyfriend after couple times I was abused 

This here is quite the contraditiction...

Which is it? And thats 2 senteces in a row...were you faithful or not?

 

Then in your first post you typed this

 

I married to a USC husband but he did abused me after a month since we married during my pregnancy

 

You state you were abused WHILE pregnant and within the first month of your marriage

 

Well what is it? Before or after abuse?But hard to prove a bona-fide anything when your doing that within the first month

 

 

 

Edited October 16, 2018 by Rusty72

[Ben&Zian 4,397]

19 hours ago, jacobamanda63 said:

I married to a USC husband but he did abused me after a month since we married during my pregnancy.  

 

   I did entered in marriage with good faith. I was shocked when paternity tests showed he is not the father   . 

   then I remember i did had sex with a guy once after  he did couple times physical and sexual abused me .

this guy was the one I dated with before  but being as friend since I married my abuser ex husband.  he asked me to marry him but i chosen my abuser ex husband. He was comforted me when i tole him that i was abused at the hands of my abuser ex husband , the sex was happened at that only time. we lived in different states.

 

 

I stayed out of this one completely but re-reading through it there are conflicting statements which definately make a difference..... one says you married and were pregnant already a month into it when abuse started..

Other statement says abuse started then you were comforted by this other guy and then had sex... 

 

So there needs to be some timeline evaluation as definately can make a difference in your case, if there is one. Because why you would marry willingly a guy who's already abusing you? so me, I lean to the latter of the "Comfort" happening after the marriage which definately if proven could have an impact on the outcome.

Edited October 16, 2018 by Ben&Zian

[kris&me 572]

HI

when abused did you go to a protective place to live (the police would have suggested that)

and there,  you would have applied for a lawyer/  anyone who can not afford one is given one 

sorry,  but even if he abused you,  he has reasonable grounds to divorce 

you need a lawyer here 

this is not something we can advise

[EM_Vandaveer 2,369]

18 hours ago, jacobamanda63 said:

my abuser ex husband is rich so he had good divorce attorney. they made me can not go back to find out if he is the father of this baby.

i have no money to  fight back with him at court . 

my ex abuser husband did not knew this guy , he and his divorce attorney believe that i went to Artificial reproductive hospital to have a baby and wants his money. he refused to write entered in marriage with good faith. but divorce with good faith in the divorce decrees. 

My divorce attorney even told him that i was going to apply VAWA , so his criminal attorney did very good job for him to had deal with state attorney to made his case dismissed.

  I dont believe only one time sex could had pregnant with that guy just right after my period. but he is not the father on the divorce decrees now. it was certified by him. 

   I dont have money to hire a attorney for my VAWA case. 

   Thanks for your common. 

 

You CAN ovulate and thus become pregnant right after your period. Logically, if these two men are the only ones you had sex with around the time you conceived and multiple DNA tests proved your ex is NOT the biological father then the only other possibility is your friend/prior romantic interest, right?

[EM_Vandaveer 2,369]

28 minutes ago, Rusty72 said:

This here is quite the contraditiction...

Which is it? And thats 2 senteces in a row...were you faithful or not?

 

Then in your first post you typed this

 

I married to a USC husband but he did abused me after a month since we married during my pregnancy

 

You state you were abused WHILE pregnant and within the first month of your marriage

 

Well what is it? Before or after abuse?But hard to prove a bona-fide anything when your doing that within the first month

 

 

 

This. Maybe the first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, then abuse happened, then the one night stand with the friend thus a second pregnancy?

[EM_Vandaveer 2,369]

48 minutes ago, jacobamanda63 said:

Do i need to tell him? I never thought about that. I don't know what should i do for this. I think it is good enough just my baby and me. 

You owe your child & the father of your child (who isn't abusive, if I'm understanding you right) the chance to know each other.

[jacobamanda63 28]

To, RUSTY72 , Ben&Zian,

   I understand that my posts did made you confused because my english berries. 

it is good to explaining with time line. 

 

  dated each other since 2014 summer

(break up in 2016  , then I dated with ex boyfriend)

 back together in Jan 2017, same time break up with ex boyfriend.

  married in middle of Oct 2017

 first physical abuse  at 11/10/17 

first verbal abuse at 11/14/17

abuser applied my GC based on marriage  11/24/17

first sexual abuse at  11/30/17

then talked to ex boyfriend and  met once in Dec 1. 

since then my ex abuser husband abuse me every few days until he went to jail.

financial abuse start in Dec 17. 

find out pregnant in end of Dec 17.

My ex abuser husband decided want this baby. 

abuse never stopped until he went to jail  in March 18.but he had good lawyer and dismissed this case.

divorce started. 

abuser withdrew the petition i130,i485 in August.

gave baby birth in early of September.18

I filed VAWA in middle of Sep.18 after baby birth

paternity results showed he is not the father in oct.

divorce final couple days ago . 

 

 

[jacobamanda63 28]

18 minutes ago, EM_Vandaveer said:

This. Maybe the first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, then abuse happened, then the one night stand with the friend thus a second pregnancy?

No, I just listed time line. 

[Boiler 43,434]

A lot happened in a very short period of time.

[jacobamanda63 28]

25 minutes ago, kris&me said:

HI

when abused did you go to a protective place to live (the police would have suggested that)

and there,  you would have applied for a lawyer/  anyone who can not afford one is given one 

sorry,  but even if he abused you,  he has reasonable grounds to divorce 

you need a lawyer here 

this is not something we can advise

thanks dear. 

I did moved out of his home to safe place  after three months  he out of the jail.I have two years OFP on him.  

2 minutes ago, Boiler said:

A lot happened in a very short period of time.

that is right.