Really need an advise. SO dessesperate

[yeya23 1]

Hello Forum:

I have a bittersweet story for you. Il will start saying that I'm about to be divorced. I mett a guy at a salsa convention back in 2014, he is Israeli with incredible salsa moves and me being Latina I was so intrigued by him, his accent, his look, everything he was perfect. I have to admit that I always have a curiosity for the Jewish religion, my cousin back in my country married an Israeli Guy and introduced to Jewish religion down there. We started dating in September 2018, moved in together January 2015, and finally got married in July 2015. Everything was incredible, he was amazingly talented in everything he did, cooking, salsa, he even got a sawing machine and make pieces of clothing for dogs using recycle clothes. we filed his petition in November 2015, and we did everything couples do, travel, movies, b-day parties, hosting Friday nights dinner with a bunch of friends and so on. We decided it was time to move on from our shared apartment as soon as he got his work permit since he would be able to provide much more, we bought a dog and we treated him like a child. My husband at that time was not working and he would take care of the house and the dog, he kept the dog on a tight schedule for food, baths, washing his teeth and of course, the dog would answer his commands better than mine since I was working 12 hours a day. After he got his work permit he was working as a salsa instructor, however, the money was not good enough and I had the idea to bring him on board in my company as a part-time job thing got better. In the day of the interview, he had two hours and a half for questioning, among the evidence we provided was the new lease agreement, pictures, utility bill, marriage certificate it was a big file he got his welcome card maybe two weeks after. We were not rich but everything was a dream....until I got the idea of children. After we got the dog he changed his mind about it and told me a dog was enough work and that he would like to be childfree in this marriage, my world collapse. As the time went by o thought I could change this mind and things got uglier, I felt pressure because I was 30 years old with no children but he didn't change his mind, in fact, he became more controlling checking my birth control pills. He was so uptight we got into terrible fights over nothing almost every night  . Finally, our last fight was new years eve and I decided I had enough. After few weeks at early  FEB 2017, I moved out into my father house. He was yelling at me and screaming in front of my friends because I grabbed the dog out of his hand on his way of taking him out.... I couldn't believe he was losing his temper so fast. To make the story short I didn't file for the divorce hoping that he will change his mind about children and improving his temper, but that wasn't the case we were legally separated by April 2017.I lost the hope of a family with him when he told me he was moving to Florida in May 2017. I went to visit my family in my country and came back with a desire for change, I quit my job, change my hairstyle, and file for divorce August 2017.

The time went by and my appreciation of Jewish religion was  stronger so i was still assisting to the gathering Friday nights, one night i was reconnected with a friend I knew back in 2013, he lived in another state and lost contact quickly back then , but he turned out to be a third degree cousin of my good friend. We became really good friends, he was looking for a room to stay while traveling since  Sep 2017, my father rented him a room available and became my shoulder to cry on and my advisor in life. We used to spend so much time together watching movies cooking until we began a romantic relationship in October. At the beginning, i Thought it was not a real relationship because he was planning on living the US like two months after and I was in a middle of a nasty divorce. My divorce was mess, was rejected the first time on Sept because a signed waiver was missing from my ex-husband to be, he took damn 3 months to sign the waiver and rejected a second time because of the lawyer filed for divorce 2 weeks before of the required 6 months of separation. During all that time my new relationship got way stronger, my actual partner is so loving, so caring, he postone his plas and we are thinking about children in the future when everything is over. As of today I'm waiting for final drecce as of all the paperwork was filed already. I WANT TO ASK THE PEOPLE THAT HAD PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES DO YOU THINK I HAVE A CHANCE FILLING FOR THE SECOND TIME IN THE FUTURE?? MY EX-HUSBAND IS FILLING HIS REMOVE OF CONDITION AS MARRIED, HE ASKED ME TO SING AFFIDAVIT AND MY FATHER WOULD HAVE TO SING ANOTHER ONE TOO, WHAT REALLY GOT ME WORRIED IS THAT MY EX-PARTNER TOLD ME THAT IF HIS CASE IS DENIED I won't BE ABLE TO FILE FOR ANYONE ANYMORE, OR HE IS JUST BEING A MANIPULATOR SINCE HE WAS HOLDING ME UP WITH THE DIVORCE PAPER? HAVE ANYBODY HAVE AN IDEA? I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE ANY ADVISE. THANK YOU!!

[Ontarkie 13,904]

First do not sign anything for your husband. He also must file with a divorce waiver as you will be divorce soon. Ignore everything from your husband he will say anything to get your help. 

 

Yes you have a chance to file for your new guy. It will be looked at a bit closer with timing and all but not impossible. Develop a strong relationship and document it all. Take lots of pictures and keep records of all things you do together. 

 

 

[Boiler 43,401]

48 minutes ago, yeya23 said:

As of today I'm waiting for final decree as of all the paperwork was filed already.

 

MY EX-HUSBAND IS FILLING HIS REMOVE OF CONDITION AS MARRIED, HE ASKED ME TO SING AFFIDAVIT AND MY FATHER WOULD HAVE TO SING ANOTHER ONE TOO,

 

WHAT REALLY GOT ME WORRIED IS THAT MY EX-PARTNER TOLD ME THAT IF HIS CASE IS DENIED I won't BE ABLE TO FILE FOR ANYONE ANYMORE, OR HE IS JUST BEING A MANIPULATOR SINCE HE WAS HOLDING ME UP WITH THE DIVORCE PAPER? 

Did you and your father sign an affidavit.

[yeya23 1]

Thank all for your support and fast reply!!! I HAVE NOT SIGNED ANY AFFIDAVIT YET, MY EX-PARTNER TOLD ME HIS IMMIGRATION LAWYER ADVISED HIM TO GET AFFIDAVITS OF BONA FIDE MARRIAGE FROM ME, MY FATHER, FRIENDS, AND HIS IMMEDIATE FAMILY, PEOPLE THAT KNEW US. I DONT THINK HE WILL TRY TO HURT ME IM MORE CONCERN ABOUT HE THERETEND ME TO DO EVERYTHING ON A RUSH AND IF HIS CASE IS DENIED I won't BE ABLE TO FILE FOR ANYONE ANYMORE.

[Illiria 980]

1 hour ago, yeya23 said:

I WANT TO ASK THE PEOPLE THAT HAD PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES DO YOU THINK I HAVE A CHANCE FILLING FOR THE SECOND TIME IN THE FUTURE?? MY EX-HUSBAND IS FILLING HIS REMOVE OF CONDITION AS MARRIED, HE ASKED ME TO SING AFFIDAVIT AND MY FATHER WOULD HAVE TO SING ANOTHER ONE TOO, WHAT REALLY GOT ME WORRIED IS THAT MY EX-PARTNER TOLD ME THAT IF HIS CASE IS DENIED I won't BE ABLE TO FILE FOR ANYONE ANYMORE, OR HE IS JUST BEING A MANIPULATOR SINCE HE WAS HOLDING ME UP WITH THE DIVORCE PAPER? HAVE ANYBODY HAVE AN IDEA? I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE ANY ADVISE. THANK YOU!!

1) maybe he thought your desire for children might overrule the social unacceptability of messing with your birth control so that you could have a child against his will.

 

2) You grabbed at the dog? I would have lost my temper as I would have viewed that as an attack on the dog. 

 

3) Not ex fault the lawyer messed up filing divorce papers

 

4) Please don’t use all caps as that is internet equivalent of shouting at us

 

5) Your ex sounds like he is just pointing out that as you have signed the affidavit of support for him you might not be able to sponsor your new guy as when you do the new affidavit of support you still have to count your ex in the calculation of meeting the income requirements. So you would count all members of the sponsor household, your ex, and your new guy to get the number of people for looking up the income requirements. 

 

6) Sounds like he was misinformed by his lawyer, doesn’t sound malicious at all but he needs to apply by a certain date and thinks that if he gets denied it’s a bad mark against you both. Whilst affidavits (written testimony) can support, it isn’t an absolute requirement if you have the other types of evidence 

Edited February 3, 2018 by Illiria
Clarification

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

24 minutes ago, yeya23 said:

Thank all for your support and fast reply!!! I HAVE NOT SIGNED ANY AFFIDAVIT YET, MY EX-PARTNER TOLD ME HIS IMMIGRATION LAWYER ADVISED HIM TO GET AFFIDAVITS OF BONA FIDE MARRIAGE FROM ME, MY FATHER, FRIENDS, AND HIS IMMEDIATE FAMILY, PEOPLE THAT KNEW US. I DONT THINK HE WILL TRY TO HURT ME IM MORE CONCERN ABOUT HE THERETEND ME TO DO EVERYTHING ON A RUSH AND IF HIS CASE IS DENIED I won't BE ABLE TO FILE FOR ANYONE ANYMORE.

I’m assuming what he means is, if his case is denied because they don’t think the marriage was bona fide, then you will have problems signing for someone else. This is probably correct and in any case from what you’ve said, it was a bona fide marriage even if it didn’t work out.

 

im sorry he turned out to be controlling and not the right person for you. I wish you the best of luck for your future, I would also offer some unsolicited advice that you take it a bit slow and don’t rush into a new marriage.

[Boiler 43,401]

Only problem I see is if you provide false affidavits.

[Ontarkie 13,904]

He's filling as married. Seems that's false enough to get her mixed up in his mess. 

[Ontarkie 13,904]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from IR1/Cr1 - As the OP is not filling for anything yet and the topic is a better fit for this forum.~~

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

He's manipulating you.  He wants you and your father to lie and sign his affidavit of support.  DON'T DO IT.  You are about to get divorced, he should not be filing as married.  What are you going to do if he gets called for an interview?  Are you going to attend and pretend all is well?  You would have to do that for him to get approved.  This can get hairy for you.  His threat about you not being able to file for your new man is a flat out lie.   He is desperate because he (and his lawyer) don't think that he has enough evidence of bona fide marriage.  If he gets denied due to that, it will not directly affect your new relationship.  You will face more scrutiny regardless of the outcome of your ex's ROC due to the timing of your new relationship.  But your father should not be on the hook for your ex.

 

[Illiria 980]

How do you know the ex is filing as married and not with a divorce waiver? 

[Illiria 980]

18 minutes ago, Eric-Pris said:

He's manipulating you.  He wants you and your father to lie and sign his affidavit of support.  DON'T DO IT.  You are about to get divorced, he should not be filing as married.  What are you going to do if he gets called for an interview?  Are you going to attend and pretend all is well?  You would have to do that for him to get approved.  This can get hairy for you.  His threat about you not being able to file for your new man is a flat out lie.   He is desperate because he (and his lawyer) don't think that he has enough evidence of bona fide marriage.  If he gets denied due to that, it will not directly affect your new relationship.  You will face more scrutiny regardless of the outcome of your ex's ROC due to the timing of your new relationship.  But your father should not be on the hook for your ex.

 

No not affidavit of support but affidavit as in sworn statement that the original marriage (prior to the marital issues) was genuine at the time that they got married.

Edited February 3, 2018 by Illiria

[yeya23 1]

Thank you all for the advice and for time, I really appreciated, let me clarify the situation about the dog.  We were hosting a Friday night dinner at home. My ex-partner was in charge of all the cooking arranging the table, get the wine and drinks. I usually worked  Friday until 9pm so at the time I got home everybody was waiting for me only. I went up to the second level and my ex-partner was holding the dog in his arms, its seemed to me that he approached me for a kiss, I kissed him hello and wanted to hold the dog in my arms for the same....... Big mistake... He was holding him on his way out for a walk. He started to yell at me in front of all our friends about the dog wanted to pee and me messing with his routine

[yeya23 1]

I don't think its an affidavit of support I think they are about the marriage itself. Can he lift his conditions in a separated status? or how that it works? I don't really don't know how he will be failing, once I know for sure I will give all of you an update.

[Illiria 980]

51 minutes ago, yeya23 said:

I don't think its an affidavit of support I think they are about the marriage itself. Can he lift his conditions in a separated status? or how that it works? I don't really don't know how he will be failing, once I know for sure I will give all of you an update.

He is asking for a signed statement from you that when you got married that it was a genuine marriage, not that it was a perfect marriage or that it ended amicably but that it was genuine as that is all he has to prove. Now you are perfectly entitled to say no if you don’t want to do this. However be aware that your ex can file as divorced, as you are going through a divorce. If he is in his 90 days before the conditional green card is up he can file now and if he doesn’t have the final decree already submit the final decree later on when they ask for it. 

 

 

2 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

He's filling as married. Seems that's false enough to get her mixed up in his mess. 

You said earlier that he was filing as married, people judged him to be fraudulent by you saying this. As to do that he would have to forge signatures Are you now saying that you dont know how he is filing? 

Edited February 3, 2018 by Illiria
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