dna Unconfirmed Son of U.S. citizen

[evoria 19]

2 minutes ago, DILAW said:

If the child was born soon after you got married, then your spouse cheated on you, unless you knew him less than 9 months before getting married.  I am not sure why you say "I pray they don't request a DNA test."  You should get a DNA test to make sure if the child is his or not.  If the child is not his, you need a lawyer.  I think the child needs his real parents.  If thats your spouse then good, but if not then you must find his real parent

The girl abandon the child.  If it is not my husbands, why should I search for the father or her?  She has been gone for 3 years without a word.

[DILAW 94]

7 minutes ago, JFH said:

Is this really on the best interests of the child? Bringing him to a foreign country to live with two complete strangers when he has formed a bond with your sister-in-law (and she presumably with him)? Adoption is a very complex issue. I have been a foster parent in the past and also considered adopting a child. Removing a child from the familiar surroundings should only be done when there is no other option. I suggest you fully research the effect of adopting a child of this age and prepare yourself for the struggles you will have. He won't just step off a plane and into your waiting arms with a smile on his face. He is likely to feel great resentment at being wrenched from his home. There are some great books in the subject - I urge you to read them. If you go ahead with this you have a very tough road ahead. I attended some very good adoption seminars - see if you can find some in your area. 

I agree with you.  Adopting a child is not an easy thing.  I also believe the real parents must be given multiple chances to raise their own kids because it's good for the kids themselves.  Maybe I am a mean person, but how is someone willing to take a kid that just jumped in their life by being claimed to be their spouse's child.  I think the story is a bit shady

[evoria 19]

4 minutes ago, jefraylee said:

On the receipt of my DNA it was HOLY TRINITY CLINIC address on it, But you can use the AABB accredited centers for the DNA process though you guys are not recommended by the Embassy to do it, but I believe they have partnership with the HOLY TRINITY CLINIC so the best is to jump on the phone and talk to the clinic for better information.

Thank you

[DILAW 94]

4 minutes ago, evoria said:

The girl abandon the child.  If it is not my husbands, why should I search for the father or her?  She has been gone for 3 years without a word.

Yes, look for the father and the girl.  Its their child after all.  Its sad for a child to be raised by a different family knowing his own parents abandoned them.  Its good for the child to be raised by his parents.  I am shocked 3 years went by and you didn't get a DNA test to see if your husband was or did cheat on you.  Something about this story I don't get

Edited July 6, 2017 by DILAW

[evoria 19]

2 minutes ago, DILAW said:

I agree with you.  Adopting a child is not an easy thing.  I also believe the real parents must be given multiple chances to raise their own kids because it's good for the kids themselves.  Maybe I am a mean person, but how is someone willing to take a kid that just jumped in their life by being claimed to be their spouse's child.  I think the story is a bit shady

Wow, I am just trying to be a good person.  The girl left the child, we are not sure if she id dead or alive.  She just left the child with an old woman.  Trust me this is an unselfish act for the child.  Why she left and where she is - is not the issue.  I want to do what is best in the long run for a little boy.  Again, my husband cheated - I am a big girl I understand that I am not 100% myself.  But I understand that this little boy would be in the street without the kindness of my sister-in-law who is too old to take care of a small boy.  My husband to date does not claim this child but we help because it is the right thing to do.  He is an innocent child in all this and deserves to be safe.  I want to make sure in the worse case scenario he has an option if we can give it to him. 

[evoria 19]

3 minutes ago, DILAW said:

Yes, look for the father and the girl.  Its their child after all.  Its sad for a child to be raised by a different family knowing his own parents abandoned them.  Its good for the child to be raised by his parents.  I am shocked 3 years went by and you didn't get a DNA test to see if your husband was or did cheat on you.  Something about this story I don't get

 Again not the point, the mother is gone, I am looking for the father I am, I am looking at my husband and that is as far as I will look.  If he is we can deal with that, but the CHILD is my concern.  You are missing the gravity of what I am saying.  There is a great big looming case that my sister in law may not be there to take care of him and he will be an orphan on the street.  His mother is GONE in a country of a millions of people, no one can find her. 

[evoria 19]

7 minutes ago, DILAW said:

Yes, look for the father and the girl.  Its their child after all.  Its sad for a child to be raised by a different family knowing his own parents abandoned them.  Its good for the child to be raised by his parents.  I am shocked 3 years went by and you didn't get a DNA test to see if your husband was or did cheat on you.  Something about this story I don't get

Which part are you missing?  Oh, you are stuck on the cheating!  Move on I have.  It is good for a child to be raised by his mother, it is sad the mother did not think so.

[DILAW 94]

1 minute ago, evoria said:

Wow, I am just trying to be a good person.  The girl left the child, we are not sure if she id dead or alive.  She just left the child with an old woman.  Trust me this is an unselfish act for the child.  Why she left and where she is - is not the issue.  I want to do what is best in the long run for a little boy.  Again, my husband cheated - I am a big girl I understand that I am not 100% myself.  But I understand that this little boy would be in the street without the kindness of my sister-in-law who is too old to take care of a small boy.  My husband to date does not claim this child but we help because it is the right thing to do.  He is an innocent child in all this and deserves to be safe.  I want to make sure in the worse case scenario he has an option if we can give it to him. 

So, for 3 years and your husband didn't do a DNA test?  For 3 years and you didn't ask your husband to complete a DNA test?  That's the part I am stuck on.  I know I sound mean, but I am trying to be realistic.  You are trying to do something good for the child and that's great.  Your husband you said is a US Citizen, so get a DNA test and if it's his then he can get the child.  It sounds like the child is not his since you are praying they don't request a DNA test.  If it's not his, then its a different story

[DILAW 94]

If the child is not his, why not spend the money to put him in a foster home?  Maybe adopt him after you put him in a foster home.

[Ontarkie 13,955]

He has two parents. If your husband is not the father He still has a mother and a bio father who can raise the child (the man may not even know about his child).  

Immigration for the child is not likely going to happen unless he is your husbands. That and you will still need to track down the mother for her permission to take the child out of the country. 

[evoria 19]

3 minutes ago, Ontarkie said:

He has two parents. If your husband is not the father He still has a mother and a bio father who can raise the child (the man may not even know about his child).  

Immigration for the child is not likely going to happen unless he is your husbands. That and you will still need to track down the mother for her permission to take the child out of the country. 

If the child is not my husband's it really puts the child in a difficult place.  Its just sad.  Thanks for your comments.

[Unlockable 7,306]

54 minutes ago, evoria said:

The girl abandon the child.  If it is not my husbands, why should I search for the father or her?  She has been gone for 3 years without a word.

Because the biological father may not even know he has a child. This happened to one of my closest friends years ago. An exgirlfriend came back after 4 years to tell him he had a child. he never knew. Today he and his daughter have a wonderful relationship.

 

It is unfair and kind of selfish to rob a person to have a chance to be a father to his child if they never knew before.

[DILAW 94]

You better not tell the immigration the kid was dropped off 3 years ago and she claimed to be your husband's child and no DNA test was complete for 3 years. 

[evoria 19]

20 minutes ago, NuestraUnion said:

Because the biological father may not even know he has a child. This happened to one of my closest friends years ago. An exgirlfriend came back after 4 years to tell him he had a child. he never knew. Today he and his daughter have a wonderful relationship.

 

It is unfair and kind of selfish to rob a person to have a chance to be a father to his child if they never knew before.

 

20 minutes ago, NuestraUnion said:

Because the biological father may not even know he has a child. This happened to one of my closest friends years ago. An exgirlfriend came back after 4 years to tell him he had a child. he never knew. Today he and his daughter have a wonderful relationship.

 

It is unfair and kind of selfish to rob a person to have a chance to be a father to his child if they never knew before.

You guys are sooo right, if its not my husbands child and my sister in law is no long available to take care of him I will let him wonder the streets till he finds his dad.  Are y'all missing the point.  THE MOTHER IS GONE in a small country with millions of people.  If she did not know who the father was how am I supposed to know.  Thank everyone.  DNA test was the answer I was looking for, NOT JUDGEMENT. 

[EmilyW 1,234]

@evoria, I have no advice other than that which is listed above, but I just wanted to say that I think you're very kind hearted in wanting to do the best by this baby.  You're good people.  We need more of those.