Need help pls

[hateadminforms 19]

PTSD can be treated, BUT if you are on the receiving end of a barrage you also need support.

Someone has to take responsibility, resources exist like http://www.meetup.com/topics/ptsd/ as well as the more formal http://www.ptsd.va.gov/.

Some ex-military do not go the formal route for fear of judgement or being perceived "weak" by their peers. There is no shame, some who suffer have reason to with extended or repeated exposure to high stress environments/missions. Others were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time for a single incident.

Your employer needs to know as well. There may be support via HR for Vets and their families ( not all employers are hire and fire, especially when it comes to possible backlash for "stupidity" on welfare matters).

You cared enough to ask a question and give some details, if you leave your wife, who does she have to help her?

She helped you to make a life change, you needed support and her help when you arrived, not dark moments yourself in a few years time wondering what could have been done to help her as you look back on your life and its start in the USA.

[Ketsuban 1,034]

I would leave if any mental disorder caused me physical or extreme mental harm (though with the latter I guess it would be harder to leave what with mind games etc). Not everyone can deal with a mentally ill spouse, especially if they somehow didn't know they were mentally ill before moving in together. Even with the best intentions it can become too much for some people. If my husband made me stare into his eyes for 30 minutes and wouldn't let me leave like what happened to OP then I would be very scared and want to leave.

[Boiler 43,543]

We seem to have moved off topic, the OP wants to know how to get a GC out of this. Not reconnect with his spouse.

[andy78 178]

I came to the USA on a Fiance visa K1 , I got married to the petitioner and I discovered that she is sick and has a PTSD and was shouting all day long and made my life hell and threatened me with killing me ! So got seprated and our application got rejected at that time too cus she did not do anything under my name and no papers together at all cus she is paraniod !! I applied for a self perition based on abuse ( petition for Amerasian ) and they said no enough evidences of the abuse cus most the evidences are text messages and emails with the threats ! And they do not give it alot of wirght in my case !! Most of the abuse was mental abuse and aproced this by Therapist report but it seems still not enough !! Not sure what to do and what are my options to stay here and be legal without flying out USA if they refuse it in the next few days ?? I appreciate your help !!

Abdo shawky:

Based on the answers I am reading in this thread, I suggest that you focus on the answers that are providing you with immigration-related advice. Don't feel the need to justify ending your relationship with an abusive spouse. No kind of abuse should be tolerated in a relationship, and particularly in this case, mental and emotional abuse. You are correct in stating that remaining in an abusive relationship is not an option, especially one where the other party did not fully disclose the details of what she claims to be a PTSD condition, assuming that her claim is true to begin with.

[hateadminforms 19]

His wife has a problem, she needs help, PTSD is as much a problem in the UK with so many ex-servicemen homeless and in prison as a result of reacting to a exhaust back-fire or other common "loud noises" or triggers.

It could mean hospitalisation, he is in a State where Vet resources are available.

It also helps his case as he is clearly seen to be "married" even if later he and she do separate/divorce. He has no desire to return to Egypt, 1-6 months sorting out a problem now will pay in years in the future.

He arrived on a K-1 so will have to go through proof of relationship tests ....... Karma could mean a Vet immigration officer conducting the interviews ....

Edited October 19, 2016 by hateadminforms

[f f 725]

a quick not on text messages on phones. they are stored in an xml file on phones that the owner of the phone can change to be what ever they want so there is no "actual proof" they sent them to you or even what they said. same idea goes for call history too.

[Rc123rc 528]

Looks like the OP is out of options if USCIS has denied him on a couple of normal routes. Might be time for a good lawyer before you get a ban on overstay. It's either that or sadly consider go back to their homeland.

As far as the mental illness discussion goes, it doesn't matter what mental illness it is. The person on the receiving end of emotional or physical abuse should not have to put up with it or may not be capable with dealing with it. They can get support and therapy of course to help but usually it is not enough to prevent the downward emotional spiral. First of all, the person with the illness has to acknowledge the illness and do what they can to help themselves. I can say from personal experience that in the case of a Borderline Personality Disorder ex wife, any suggestion that they were abusive was met with open hostility and escalated abuse. That same abuse was triggering our daughter's PTSD daily to the point where she self harmed and attempted suicides even with medications and me and 3 counselors supporting her. Once I divorced and got our daughter out of the house things turned around quite a bit but probably will never be OK for my daughter. Myself, I ended up in counseling and a support group. It took me a a year to get myself back on my feet and even longer to trust a person to get close to me again. Please discuss mentally illnesses carefully and certainly don't lump every situation together. Unless you have walked in the OP shoes then it's best to reserve judgement and stick to the question about how to remain in the US and adjust.

[Jawaree 717]

Mental abuse alone with not much proof will be hard to prove, were you seeing a therapist that can verify this,

can you get letters from those who seen the abuse and did you show bonafide marriage and that you never

knew of the PTSD. Either you try to reconcile, or get to your local legal aid to appeal the decision, or you will

become illegal

[Auds 223]

To be brutally honest, whoever leaves his or hers wife/husband because of PTSD, bipolar. BPD etc is just pathetic. You signed to be together, in sickness and in health. Giving up because you can't control it or he/she can't without even the thought of counseling, I question your love towards him or her. You can't 'just leave', as husband or wife, you will try to help. You will try to get someone through this and fight it together. That's how marriage works (Unless he or she did a murder attempt on you ofc)

PTSD (and many other disorders) can be controlled with the right therapy and medicines, if needed. None should just run off and leave.

That's a bit too generalised. My ex had BPD and the kind of abuse me and my daughters have gone through and beyond most people's belief. When I see movies on abuse I end up crying - not because its too painful to watch - but I realise the reality that the movie gets no where near the kind of abuse we went through.

Was hit during labour even. I stuck for a decade after getting married and lost my sanity, health, today i suffer from weak memory and PTSD as a result.

Its been 24 long years since we first met when I was a teen and so many degrees of abuse continue and my 14 and 10 year old in counselling and trying to cope living with him whenever they do.

[Auds 223]

Looks like the OP is out of options if USCIS has denied him on a couple of normal routes. Might be time for a good lawyer before you get a ban on overstay. It's either that or sadly consider go back to their homeland.

As far as the mental illness discussion goes, it doesn't matter what mental illness it is. The person on the receiving end of emotional or physical abuse should not have to put up with it or may not be capable with dealing with it. They can get support and therapy of course to help but usually it is not enough to prevent the downward emotional spiral. First of all, the person with the illness has to acknowledge the illness and do what they can to help themselves. I can say from personal experience that in the case of a Borderline Personality Disorder ex wife, any suggestion that they were abusive was met with open hostility and escalated abuse. That same abuse was triggering our daughter's PTSD daily to the point where she self harmed and attempted suicides even with medications and me and 3 counselors supporting her. Once I divorced and got our daughter out of the house things turned around quite a bit but probably will never be OK for my daughter. Myself, I ended up in counseling and a support group. It took me a a year to get myself back on my feet and even longer to trust a person to get close to me again. Please discuss mentally illnesses carefully and certainly don't lump every situation together. Unless you have walked in the OP shoes then it's best to reserve judgement and stick to the question about how to remain in the US and adjust.

Thank you.

[Abdo shawky 0]

Looks like the OP is out of options if USCIS has denied him on a couple of normal routes. Might be time for a good lawyer before you get a ban on overstay. It's either that or sadly consider go back to their homeland.

As far as the mental illness discussion goes, it doesn't matter what mental illness it is. The person on the receiving end of emotional or physical abuse should not have to put up with it or may not be capable with dealing with it. They can get support and therapy of course to help but usually it is not enough to prevent the downward emotional spiral. First of all, the person with the illness has to acknowledge the illness and do what they can to help themselves. I can say from personal experience that in the case of a Borderline Personality Disorder ex wife, any suggestion that they were abusive was met with open hostility and escalated abuse. That same abuse was triggering our daughter's PTSD daily to the point where she self harmed and attempted suicides even with medications and me and 3 counselors supporting her. Once I divorced and got our daughter out of the house things turned around quite a bit but probably will never be OK for my daughter. Myself, I ended up in counseling and a support group. It took me a a year to get myself back on my feet and even longer to trust a person to get close to me again. Please discuss mentally illnesses carefully and certainly don't lump every situation together. Unless you have walked in the OP shoes then it's best to reserve judgement and stick to the question about how to remain in the US and adjust.

[Dutchster 1,106]

That's a bit too generalised. My ex had BPD and the kind of abuse me and my daughters have gone through and beyond most people's belief. When I see movies on abuse I end up crying - not because its too painful to watch - but I realise the reality that the movie gets no where near the kind of abuse we went through.

Was hit during labour even. I stuck for a decade after getting married and lost my sanity, health, today i suffer from weak memory and PTSD as a result.

Its been 24 long years since we first met when I was a teen and so many degrees of abuse continue and my 14 and 10 year old in counselling and trying to cope living with him whenever they do.

I''m very, very sorry you -and your child- had to experience and go through this. No one should ever face abuse in any way.

My message was more towards the disorders where abuse isn't the case. You have a lot of those too. My friend has bipolar disorder but never attacked or abused his fiance. Plus his medication is helping, too. I know how it feels to go through abuse. Maybe not from PTSD or other related disorders but I know how it feels. Mine came from my parents and I still try to cope with it every day. My husband is a great help in that and always reminds me I'm a strong person and I'm doing amazing. That kind of support. Like I said, it's NOT OKAY if it's an abusive relationship but the amount of people who also already 'just give up' are also still here. I was talking more about those situations.

OP has faced abuse in his case according to him, but USCIS didn't see enough evidence of absuse and denied his AOS. The longer he stays here, the more unlawful presence he is commiting. He has nothing to hold onto here in the States other if he and his SO would try to work it out. He needs to either hire a good attorney or leave the country before he faces a ban, his removal/deportation will happen unless he has strong evidence.

Edited October 20, 2016 by stephadams

[Auds 223]

I''m very, very sorry you -and your child- had to experience and go through this. No one should ever face abuse in any way.

My message was more towards the disorders where abuse isn't the case. You have a lot of those too. My friend has bipolar disorder but never attacked or abused his fiance. Plus his medication is helping, too. I know how it feels to go through abuse. Maybe not from PTSD or other related disorders but I know how it feels. Mine came from my parents and I still try to cope with it every day. My husband is a great help in that and always reminds me I'm a strong person and I'm doing amazing. That kind of support. Like I said, it's NOT OKAY if it's an abusive relationship but the amount of people who also already 'just give up' are also still here. I was talking more about those situations.

OP has faced abuse in his case according to him, but USCIS didn't see enough evidence of absuse and denied his AOS. The longer he stays here, the more unlawful presence he is commiting. He has nothing to hold onto here in the States other if he and his SO would try to work it out. He needs to either hire a good attorney or leave the country before he faces a ban, his removal/deportation will happen unless he has strong evidence.

Mental illnesses such a BPD almost always involve serious abuse. I think my mom has BPD too - so yes my abused started perhaps as a toddler and as a result the Complex PTSD.

Agree about the OP - he will either have to prove it and I know if truly abused even one can sometimes not prove it. There is of course the thought that if he separated so soon - why he didn't return back at that time before entrenching himself so much in the US. Only he knows how complex it has been and perhaps nobody know who has been fair and who not..

As a woman I too am drawn to see his wife's perspective. For instance my ex completely neglected me when it came to giving me any tenderness - like any at all - barely any physical intimacy either.. One of the last chances I gave him was to at least give me five minutes of undivided attention a day and I would not leave (yes I hear how horrible that sounds now!). Anyway, he went on to tell others that I asked him to stare into my eyes for 30 minutes and was insane. So yes its easy to judge OP on one's own experiences. However, its not our opinion but the judge and jury seems to have made their decision.

[Auds 223]

Well , I see some people judged me as ignorant and cruel and pathatic !! I do not think I am , Cus I left my country and my job and family to be with this person , dealt with her on phone and video skyping and seen her for two weeks and never experienced anything like what I have seen here after arrival to US and getting married and I have tried many times to help her but she told me she is fine and that I am the one who is sick !! She told me many times ! She does not wanna be married ! She wanna be married to her property I swear that true stories , She never allowed me to talk to anyone ever for 8 months !! No friendsat all ! She would break plates and hit me when I try to leave the house when she is overupset ! She would hold a knife and tell me I would kill you but I am not gonna do it cus I do not want to go to jail !! This when I decided to leave ! Not fair to ask me to stay in such a relationship !! Not even sure if it is all about PTSD , I think there are more problems like when we make love she would ask me not to be hard !! Sorry what ?? Yes not to be hard and get a towel and put ice on it to make me not hard !! I never experienced this in life and it is not ok ! I even tried this but it is against nature and she calls it TANTARA SEX !! is that has any thing to do with PTSD ? is that ok in America ?? I became very depressed and do not where I am and at some points wannted to kill my self !! Again there is a lot of crazy things she did that made me leave !! She get triple my money from army as compansation cus she is discharged for her PTSD and she take my money to call a Schycic to ask him about what to do in every thing in our life and she would whatever he says and pay him 300$ an hr and it takes me week to get this money ! Like she gave me hell to fly cus he told her that I should fly to my Country when I am not eligible to fly out of the US !! It was too much and there alot more and I got affected with this behavior badly and not the same like before !!

I hope you can prove all this. Get a lawyer if you don't have one already. Document things point by point. Go back to emails/phone calls you may have written.

Sometimes in the middle of abuse we never realise that we will need proof as its so real and traumatic...

[Ontarkie 13,918]

~~This thread is now locked as the thread has lost it's focus on the OP's questions. It has been mention that the OP should seek legal consul. That his situation is beyond the scope this website.~~