Anyone ever have moments like these?

[Marrienne 112]

Hey guys and gals,

We are immigrating (hopefully!) to the USA later in the year and even though we have good support system over there, sometimes I look around and I panic ... like "What on earth am I doing?"
I am equally terrified and excited... which I guess IS pretty normal.
I keep wondering if anyone immigrated and had a horrible time afterwards.
Then I think, I live in a country where things are HORRIBLE. Much more like a 3rd world country than a European one. No jobs, no food, no hospital care... no future!

How do you overcome your fears and "go for it"? Any advise is welcome!

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

I think the first step for adapting to any change is to realize how hard it is and understand that life isn't going to be perfect after the change. By your post, I think you've passed the first step. As difficult as it has been for you in your home country, you're still going to see some difficulties in your new country. And there will be times after you move that you'll miss your home country. That's just natural. There are many opportunities here in the USA but they are most available to those who work hard to realize those opportunities. If you and your husband have a good support network here in the USA, as you state, then that will help too.

I watched my wife overcome her fears and go for it, as you stated. It hasn't been easy. One of the challenges for her is that we live in a location that is far, far worse for her allergies. She struggles almost daily with it. But she's found the right combination of medicine and she finally feels confident in her doctors. It's taken almost a full year. But each day gets better and better for her. Personally, I think the #1 thing that can conquer fear is love. Love of family, spouse, children. If you're moving to the USA for a better future for your family, then I think that will help you.

Best of luck to you and your family.

[Marrienne 112]

Thanks so much Russ.
I have lived and studied abroad (Glasgow, Scotland) so this will not be the first time I move far away but it is the first time I am doing it with 3 small kids in tow... and let's face it. "Starting over" at almost 40, well, not easy.
The "working hard" part is a given. We are not going there for a free hand, but the fact we do have help is awesome. A lot of good things are happening, don't get me wrong and I have nothing here to "hold" me to Greece. I have no family, I have no ties really but still.

The logistics of i.e. sorting, throwing or selling our stuff. Organizing the 20 hour long trip, furnishing and organizing a functional new home... with 3 kids in tow. I am trying to go a day at a time but since this needs a tremendous amount of organization, it is not so easy.

I know I will be happy there, I know it is the best move we could make. We are giving our children a fighting chance to a better future. All good... Still... logistics!!! Ugh!!!

[IamIan 14]

Absolutely! I get cold feet all the time. It's a huge step. You're effectively giving up one life for another, and there's always going to be doubts there because of how big it is. I'm kind of over that now though, the closer it comes. And when I realise how happy I am when I goto visit my wife compared to how miserable I get when I return to the UK... I know I'm making the right decision.

I think the #1 thing that can conquer fear is love. Love of family, spouse, children. If you're moving to the USA for a better future for your family, then I think that will help you.

Best of luck to you and your family.

Couldn't agree more here.

[Marrienne 112]

Honestly guys I don't know why I feel this way. We have been talking about it for the last 3 years with hubby, we have a great support system over there, we are going to a thriving area with great economy and brimming with job opportunities, hubby will get (at the very least) Medicaid immediately and his health will improve (he has a life threatening chronic condition that Greece cannot treat because.... bankrupt!!!).
I just get these moments of "what if".... what if it takes me months to get a job... what if the kids hate it?

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

Thanks so much Russ.

I have lived and studied abroad (Glasgow, Scotland) so this will not be the first time I move far away but it is the first time I am doing it with 3 small kids in tow... and let's face it. "Starting over" at almost 40, well, not easy.

The "working hard" part is a given. We are not going there for a free hand, but the fact we do have help is awesome. A lot of good things are happening, don't get me wrong and I have nothing here to "hold" me to Greece. I have no family, I have no ties really but still.

The logistics of i.e. sorting, throwing or selling our stuff. Organizing the 20 hour long trip, furnishing and organizing a functional new home... with 3 kids in tow. I am trying to go a day at a time but since this needs a tremendous amount of organization, it is not so easy.

I know I will be happy there, I know it is the best move we could make. We are giving our children a fighting chance to a better future. All good... Still... logistics!!! Ugh!!!

If it's any consolation, we also moved middle age, kids in tow, from a good lifestyle in the country we were in, without jobs lined up...yes, it's scary.

First things is - you probably don't need to worry about the kids. So many people say, and we found too, that the kids settle in quickly and easily - they go o school, they have a structure to the day immediately, they make friends, they are immersed in American culture, etc... in a year from now your kids will have accents

Secondly, Glasgow, well if you can put up with the weather and dark winters there you're almost certainly going to be better in the US

We also moved mainly for the kids and their future (our lifestyle back 'old home' was great, prospects for the future not so much). It's a big incentive. We have been very lucky that things have fallen into place, our standard of living has not dropped, we made friends easily, kids settled in etc. But yes, the logistics involved is big. But... it's manageable. We put everything in a spreadsheet and worked through it. Some things will fall through the cracks, but you'll survive

Best of luck. If you want more chatting to someone who's been there done that, feel free to PM me!

[mallafri76 1,012]

Every country has it good and bad sides. Keep that in the back of your minds and the move will go easier. Just try and keep an open mind, plan your move properly and use your support network to help you get settled. You'll be fine.

Are you seriously moving from Greece to Athens, Michigan?! That's pretty funny.

Such a shame what's happening with Greece, it's a wonderful country. I hope Greece gets back on its feet soon.

Edited May 4, 2016 by mallafri76

[Chris and ZhiJia 146]

My fiancee only packed the essentials (clothes, shoes, makeup, snacks, clothes, shoes, clothes, shoes, you get the drift here.....), she even packed things we could have bought here but were manufactured in her language so it was easier for her to operate (electric pressure cooker, electric kettle, other small appliances).

I have been there for her 100% to lean on incase she ever had the onset wave of homesickness. I did my best to re-assure her that no matter where she is, either her or China that no matter what she is home, and she reciprocated that fact. She told me yesterday she has no reason to feel home sick, because she is home right now.

[vanee 13]

You're already going for it. Take one step at a time.

Once you get here and get settled, find ways to get involved. Since you have young children, you'll probably want to meet other moms and arrange play dates for the kids. If you have time to volunteer, that's another way to get to know people and to understand the culture here.

You'll probably find Craigslist useful for buying a lot of things that you need. It's very popular here, and it's a good way to save money.

Being fluent in English will help you a lot. It may take a little time to get used to the American accent and American words for some things, but that's a small concern in the big picture.

There will probably be times when you don't understand or agree with how things are done or how people think. That's normal. Whenever I get one of those moments, I remind myself that if my husband had come to Canada instead of me coming here, he'd be having similar moments about different things. And he doesn't like everything in this country either, just as I don't like everything in my home country.

Overall, my experience here has been good. It's been an adventure, full of experiences I never would have had if I'd stayed in my familiar world that used to be home.

As an immigrant, you'll always see things a little differently than native-born Americans will. Our perceptions are shaped by our life experiences. Your perceptions of life here will become part of who you are.

If you make this place your home and get involved, you'll have adventures too.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

It's terrifying really when you think about it. I used to worry "what if nobody wanted to hire me", "what if I never made any friends" etc but as well as looking at it as daunting and scary you also have to see that it is a huge opportunity and a chance for a huge adventure.

Sometimes I feel like I'm on holiday every day because the weather is nicer and everything is that little bit different. Sometimes I feel hugely homesick and miss things like a healthcare system and a good pub but as long as you don't compare everything with your old country and just realize that some things will be better and some things will be worse then there is a good chance you will enjoy the ride.

The logistics are scary but even if you leave packing, selling stuff until far too late (like I did) it might just work out.

[Marrienne 112]

Thanks guys!!! This helps so much!!

It's terrifying really when you think about it. I used to worry "what if nobody wanted to hire me", "what if I never made any friends" etc but as well as looking at it as daunting and scary you also have to see that it is a huge opportunity and a chance for a huge adventure.

Sometimes I feel like I'm on holiday every day because the weather is nicer and everything is that little bit different. Sometimes I feel hugely homesick and miss things like a healthcare system and a good pub but as long as you don't compare everything with your old country and just realize that some things will be better and some things will be worse then there is a good chance you will enjoy the ride.

The logistics are scary but even if you leave packing, selling stuff until far too late (like I did) it might just work out.

Thanks Otter... you moved from a country that had it together though. I know, I lived in the UK (studied) for a very long time.
Greece is worse than a third world country right now. Healthcare? What's that!?!? My toddler had an accident, they didn't even have bandages at the hospital!! Ha!
People are eating from the trash. When I lost my job shortly after having the baby, we had to eat from the soup kitchen for a while. So yeah.. you miss things when things were ok where you were. We live in a moldy tiny hole because that's what we can afford and the owner won't fix the place up.

We have NO school system. My son is dyslexic and they have him sitting in a desk all day doing nothing because they are too lazy to help him and don't really want to work, since the Government cut their salaries. There is strike after strike after strike. One day we have no transportation, the next no electricity, the next no mail, the next no school and so on so forth.

I will miss the weather and the sea but that is about it. I suppose that is a good thing in a sense.
I am MOSTLY worried about working there. It might be that my degree won't be good enough over there. Not that I mind doing anything really but still... what if I don't get a job? :/

Sigh... I am not a super super qualified person. I teach and I am an artist and a mom...that's it. I am not a brain surgeon

[Marrienne 112]

** Update **

Well guys it has been 2 weeks since I posted this and I just can't calm down.
I am TERRIFIED of moving. No, let me rephrase that, I am terrified I won't get a job there.
I am been a mom for more than 10 years. I recently went back to my teaching job here but I have been told my teaching degree is probably worthless in the USA as it is not a Bachelor's (we had different criteria in Greece back in the '90s when I got my certification).

We are moving to an area with a 4% unemployment rate. I have done many jobs, I am excellent with computers and "hard stuff" like Photoshop, editing, programming, graphics, photography etc.
However I am not American so I don't know how well this will work out.

Here is what worries me: My in laws have been a tremendous help. Then they went and got us a house!! (we have to repay them for that). They are getting us stuff, a car etc with the stipulation we "get good jobs". I feel like I have this massive bill to foot. I am GRATEFUL for the support but I am not sure I can afford the price tag!!!
I mean, I am moving with 3 small children two of whom have been through a LOT in the last few years and are still recovering (abusive biological dad) and a busy toddler who is going through separation anxiety.
I don't know how to handle my anxiety anymore.

Will this get any better???

[happiestoflives 4]

** Update **

Well guys it has been 2 weeks since I posted this and I just can't calm down.

I am TERRIFIED of moving. No, let me rephrase that, I am terrified I won't get a job there.

I am been a mom for more than 10 years. I recently went back to my teaching job here but I have been told my teaching degree is probably worthless in the USA as it is not a Bachelor's (we had different criteria in Greece back in the '90s when I got my certification).

We are moving to an area with a 4% unemployment rate. I have done many jobs, I am excellent with computers and "hard stuff" like Photoshop, editing, programming, graphics, photography etc.

However I am not American so I don't know how well this will work out.

Here is what worries me: My in laws have been a tremendous help. Then they went and got us a house!! (we have to repay them for that). They are getting us stuff, a car etc with the stipulation we "get good jobs". I feel like I have this massive bill to foot. I am GRATEFUL for the support but I am not sure I can afford the price tag!!!

I mean, I am moving with 3 small children two of whom have been through a LOT in the last few years and are still recovering (abusive biological dad) and a busy toddler who is going through separation anxiety.

I don't know how to handle my anxiety anymore.

Will this get any better???

Marrienne, I am sometimes terrified as well (other times, I am just too busy with other stuff, and it will take a bit longer for me anyhow). As for your teaching degree, maybe you can get an evaluation of your unniversity credits and see what you can do with what it would be considered in the US? A friend of mine was in a similar situation - teaching degree here, moved to the US and she seems quite happy in her current position (it's in teaching, but IIRC it's a language school).