What does your fiance do while you are at work before work permit?

[baron555 934]

So I am trying to think of this that my fiance can do while I am away at work during her first 3 months in the US while waiting for her to get approved for employment status. Luckily this will only be 9 hours per day...but still that adds up. Being alone all day, in a strange country, away from all family

Set her up with Skype and an international calling card.

, and no "normal" comfort foods has to be stressful.

Buy her the ingredients to cook for herself.

Obviously she can explore the city and go sightseeing...but I doubt that will be much fun alone, plus could be scary.

Correct, stay at home and tend to the garden.

I was thinking she can study some more on her English skills, talk to her family, look at what interests her for jobs, work on Resume and learn US history for Naturalization. While all that is more than enough to keep her busy for 3 months I would have to imagine that being unemployed for 3 months would make me stir crazy and I would need a break from all of that.

Need more home projects.

So if you have any other ideas that would be positive things to keep her focused and not isolated...would be greatly appreciated.

She can talk with my wife if she wants. My wife has Russian friends all over the US that she keeps in constant contact with.

Thanks for the beneficial replies.

Actually she is not here yet, I just want to get things in order before she gets here. If it were up to her, she would get a job the first week. She has a few college degrees and really wants to put them to good use.

Maybe. Do some homework on what qualifying credits she would have for those foreign degrees....many times additional courses are required to have them be valid in the US.

I will have to check the local CC to see what they have for Eng classes. She actually has fantastic Eng skills, but the overachiever in her wants to be perfect.

Sadly we do not have that awesome of a public transport system, so that makes it more challenging for her to get around.

[Derbo/Yamkins 4]

I applied and studied for the NCLEX while waiting for my permit. So, that took longer than 3 months.

Other times, I read the drivers manual from the BMV/DMV. She can do that if she's planning to get a license. Or go to a driving school if she doesn't drive yet. Learners permit are valid for 6 months before you apply for a drivers license.

She can also browse for jobs in the area if intending to work. Some HR takes as long to call you for an interview.

[C&I 17]

So many things a person can do during the day:

- learn the language if she doesn't know it already

- learn the new culture

- discover the new city. This is very important to get familiar with neighborhoods, places, stores, banks, restaurants, theaters etc... And when people talk about some places you actually know what they are talking about! It is not scary to get familiar with the new town/city.. unless she never traveled before?

- online courses

- volunteer - so many opportunities in the US for this! American Red Cross, local bank food, local shelters, etc....

Time flies by when people keep busy!

[themartinez 1]

Speaking from experience, there is not much to do about the missing home/comfort foods/being in a different place than what you are used to.

Things I used to do when I wasn't used to the US yet: learn new recipes; learn new languages (I am currently using babbel.com which is like Rosetta Stone but cheaper); look for information on registering the marriage in my country; look for information on documents I need here (Driver's License, DEERS - if you are military); work on some DIY; binge-watch my favorite Netflix shows. To get out of the house and do some significant stuff, the best suggestion would be volunteering.

I could also suggest, depending on your wife and your city's public transportations, that she visit some nice places in town. Here in San Antonio I find it very hard to move around by bus, but I have done it as an exchange student and, although it takes much longer than usual, it can get you to cool places and show some parts of the city you haven't seen. Differently from what most people told me, public transportation is safe, and I have taken it as late as 11pm - I must add that I am a scaredy-cat, and I wasn't afraid of it.

If I may also add, the homesickness and little sadness is kind of normal at first. Trust me, I had been here several times before actually getting married, one of which, as mentioned before, to study for a whole semester. It is bittersweet to leave your country behind for something that one knows will likely be for the rest of their lives. Support and care for her feelings. Understanding is key!

Hope I helped a little bit

[TabeaK 516]

I'm going through it right now. It sucks.

I had a pretty good career and worked long hours before coming here, so the change was jarring to say the least. I kept contact with family, did lots of reading, played computer games, explored the local area (we are in the greater NYC - so lots to do), went to the gym and did stuff whenever my husband was off work (daytrips, theater, cinema etc).

Now, I am applying for jobs & talking to recruiters. I am glad this period of not being allowed to work will come to an end soon.

Most important thing: take your fiances homesickness and challenges to adjust seriously. It is normal to be sometimes sad and missing home. I came from Germany, a developed Western country with all the comforts - I have lived abroad before, speak the language fluently and travelled the world. I still faced and am facing a bit of culture shock. Now imagine if your fiance comes from, say, an Asian country with a completely different culture and language. Possibly with little education. It is tough - helpf you partner adjust! They have just left everything they know behind so you can be togehter.

[D.Ba 85]

Oh, the hours I spent in the front and back yard, pulling weeds, cutting off dead branches, preparing flower beds, picking bits of mortar out of the grass ... I don't see how you could get bored if you have a house.

And volunteer, the best thing I did. I call it "work". You get out, go to another place, do something useful and the other people are grateful for your help. And there' something for everyone's taste: animals, homeless people, children, women, older people, in my case refugees.

[kris&me 572]

although mine had decent English, we found some free English classes at local college for him to study for GED

He had a 2 year college degree but here if you have GED the tution for 2 years at local community college is free

he also contacted the local spanish community thru Sunday newspaper sties listing community servies

we had green card in little over a month and now he works and still takes classes

[*Snowdrop* 603]

I didn't come on the K1 but while we were waiting for the CR1 to process I took three months off work and came to the US on the VWP to stay with my husband. He couldn't take three months vacation time so he went to work for most of the time - and with the commute that left me 12 hours on my own in a small log cabin in the middle of nowhere if I stayed home or 8 hours to fill in the city if I went in with him.

I had a wonderful time. This is how we managed the time. I went in to the city with him once or twice a week. I explored the city and the shops - went to museums and art galleries, had lunch with my husband on his lunch break and spent a few hours with my computer in an internet cafe. It was relaxing and fun.

On the days I stayed home, I worked on the house, knowing I was moving there in a few months. I cleaned, decluttered, moved all the furniture around, sorted out the cupboards etc. Made a list of things which needed 'improving' or buying.

I also spent a lot of time preparing for when I could work by setting up informational interviews at various organizations and networking.

My husband took some time off during my stay, we either had fun together or worked on things to help my move like practicing driving on the wrong side of the road etc.

The three months flew by, if I had been there as a K1 entry and also had all the wedding, AOS prep, etc etc it would have been even more hectic.

My big tip is both of you save up some money so you have a little budget to really enjoy and make this time worthwhile and if you can, plan to take some vacation time to be with her. Maybe a week in the middle, or can you take one day a week off for a few weeks?

I suggest a budget because it's nice to have some money to do some fun and special things together, and some for the 'home decoration' projects she will surely find.

[WandY 430]

Volunteer at animal shelters. No need for English.

[optlh0 19]

I had things set up for my wife to try and help keep her occupied, but one thing I didn't realize was how important spending as much time as possible with me was after work and on weekends. I used to stop at the store on the way home from work to pick up things. But, that took time away from her and didn't give her an opportunity to get out of the house. Now I stop and pick her up first then head back to the store just so she can be with me. Same thing on the weekends. I run lots of small errands and I just assumed she wouldn't want to go because running those errands was boring to me. For her, it's a way to get out of the house and gives us more time together. Now, even if I'm going to do a little errand that would only take 10 minutes I'll ask if she wants to go. The answer is typically yes. Because I know that, I also allow plenty of time for her to get ready to come with me. Activities are good, but time with you will likely be the most important part of her day every day. Keep that in mind when you come home tired. Maybe take a walk or something with her every day. It will mean a lot

Edited March 21, 2016 by optlh0

[chiggins82 88]

Things that I did while I was waiting:

• Volunteered - Found somewhere through an online search - Maybe they can refine the search for non-english speaking roles?
• Meet-ups - Found an ex-pat group and a few others, but most were in the evening. Not a lot in the daytime
• Played Tourist - Tried to get to one site a week - A lot of galleries, museums, etc have free days once in a while
• Took a couple classes from the library
• Went to the gym, lots of walks, bike rides, went to public beaches
• Read, TV, Surfed the Net (More than I'd like to admit)
• Cooked/Baked
• Researched upcoming immigration stuff

I wish I had done more prep for re-entering the workforce. I was not so aware of the companies out there, and what I wanted to do and how I could have prepped.

[MouadsWife 161]

volunteer

I'm sorry.... that had me rolling. I was taking criminal justice at the time when my fiance came over, and within my course of study I was getting my certs for CPR training and first aid. Also during that time we were having alot of tornado's and thought HEY! Lets do some community service and volunteer.. Moe was interested in getting his CPR training too and helping in the community after we had some pretty deadly tornado's come through. Ba! Since he was not a citizen, he was denied being able to volunteer and take classes on CPR. Never been so pissed! They said he had to be a United States citizen to be able to do that. Never in my years had I thought you had to be a citizen to save a life!

[MouadsWife 161]

There are a few thoughtful things to prepare for the arrival of your FSU finance. First off clean your house!! have it sterilized and make sure there is no evidence of past relationships....none! She will arrange your entire home to suit her needs. Then buy a comfy new pair of warm slippers like she uses at home. Get an electric tea kettle and an assortment of teas. Go buy a beautiful new set of sheets for your bed like she uses at home. Have a mobile phone for her, and make sure she has access to Skype. Have you located anyplace that she can find some native foods? Are there others from FSU in your area? Does she go to church? After you get home from work....take her out...go do something. Teach her to shop and how to find deals. Take her on a country road and start to teach her to drive. It is sad, but FSU university degrees aren't worth the paper there written on in the US. She will need your guidance for everything.......Don't be a dictator, help her find out what she wants from life.....be her best friend:)..... I guarantee you will not be happy is she is not happy. Also find a woman that has come here from Russia and settled....even if it is your buddies wife in California. It will be someone she can go to and ask advice...

Better yet, when she comes, plan a shopping day out. A women likes to feel at home within her own environment. Help her to feel that your home is her home. Don't pick out the decor for her, or the sheets, or the tea kettle... let her know that her opinion is valued and go together and let her pick them out. That will make her happiest... better than you picking out everything. Also that way you can explore the town together and the stores and have fun together. Nobody like shopping like a girl!!!

Edited March 21, 2016 by MouadsWife

[Andrea&Henry 311]

That was my case 4 years ago and honestly is super hard. I couldn't drive, work and didnt have frineds or family back then.

I enrrolled in a local gym and it was amazing

[lntdenver 42]

For online courses and learning, I recommend TED Talks and Coursera. There is a wide range of topics and you can certainly find something you are interested about there.

Exercising is a good idea as well. It helps me stay positive and reduces anxiety. I got a membership at a gym across the street, signed up for my first marathon and started training for it. It definitely keeps me busy and working towards a goal I have always wanted to accomplish (but never had the time to train for).

I am also starting to look for a job, getting familiar with the local job market, finding out about salary expectations, etc. Even though I still don't have the EAD, I think companies that see me as a valuable employee would be willing to wait a few months.