Please help - Domestic Violence effect on GC, Deportation, Job & Citizenship

[Goundamani 2]

Hello, I am from India and came to US on student visaF1 in 2003, then started working on H1B and now green card . I got my green card in Jan 2012. I have been married since Dec 2010, my spouse got her green card through me. We have had some marital issues lately. An argument led to my wife going crazy and throwing things in the house, I grabbed her arms and still she wouldn't stop, then I hit her on the cheek. Then she went to garb her phone to call the police and I stopped her by holding her arms. I guess there were reddish marks on her arms and her face was also red by the time police came. They took photos of her and arrested me. I was released next day and charged with simple assault misdemeanor. State I live in is Michigan. I now have pre trial on Jan 8th. No contact order as well.

This is my first offense, I have a clean record.

What complicates my case is that a week prior to this incident, we had an argument and I just left the house. My wife thought that I was going to commit suicide and called the police. By the time I came home (in about 30-40 mins) the police had arrived. They talked to me and took me to the hospital to make sure I was not suicidal. The hospital cleared me immediately and sent me home in a couple of hours.

Another incident was 1 year ago, again my wife and I had an argument and she called the police. The police came and examined both of us, they did not find anything except some property damage. They asked me to leave the house and come back next day once my wife cooled down. They noted it as a disturbance.

My wife and I are going to marriage counciling and I have started going to individual therapy after this incident. I love my wife and I do not mean to harm her. I know she loves me too. However she is very angry and I do not know if she will press charges or withdraw the case. I will also be starting community service before my court date.

Please advice, I am very worried and having sleepless nights. Will I be convicted, deported, etc, etc. I know I can make up with my wife and I love her a lot. This is not who I am. Please help.

[Boiler 43,464]

Any guidance from your legal advisors?

[Maritah 77]

Get a lawyer and get divorce ASAP.

Good luck.

M.

[Cathi 5,610]

Get a lawyer and get divorce ASAP.

Good luck.

M.

why are you telling him to get a lawyer and divorce when he has clearly stated that he loves his wife and they are going to counseling to save the marriage?

[Boiler 43,464]

Seems a lot to be read between the lines, a Marriage Counsellor would I think charge extra for this one.

[Maritah 77]

why are you telling him to get a lawyer and divorce when he has clearly stated that he loves his wife and they are going to counseling to save the marriage?

I told him that because I'm a lawyer and I saw before this pattern in troubling couples with the abuse spectrum. Accord to his statements the issue it's growing incident after incident until the point to get physical, and that's because the wife get mad without control and not counseling over the world with change that, unless exists psychiatric reasons that can work in favor of the OP in a court.

If the wife decides use those incidents against him, then the authorities gonna take in count those (police took notes) and for certain not gonna be a help at all for the OP.

Regards.

M.

[Villanelle 4,121]

Id ask what kind of a lawyer you are to say some of the things youve posted but it really doesnt matter. It smacks of defense lawyer though... But this

Accord to his statements the issue it's growing incident after incident until the point to get physical, and that's because the wife get mad without control

Are you saying its the wifes fault? That the wife gets so mad so he has no choice but to use physical violence? Let me tell you short of self defense (which this clearly was NOT) there is absolutely no reason to put your hands on another person.

It doesnt matter if she called him names, if he found her cheating, if she broke his prized possession. None of that would constitute him being in imminent danger and needing to use physical violence.

Also your phrasing of 'if the wife decides to use those incidents against him' demonstrates a lack of understanding of the law. Its not the wife who has a case against him, its the state. Many jurisdictions move forward with DV cases regardless of whether or not the victim cooperates. In some places they can even force the victim to participate.

The OP needs to speak with a local attny that specializes in those matters. He also needs to have the attny confer with an immigration attny (or do it himself) as his status is in jeopardy if convicted. His status can also be impacted if he takes certain 'common' deals that are offered. For USCs certain deals are beneficial but for LPRs they can still have immigration consequences.

[Maritah 77]

Id ask what kind of a lawyer you are to say some of the things youve posted but it really doesnt matter. It smacks of defense lawyer though... But this

Are you saying its the wifes fault? That the wife gets so mad so he has no choice but to use physical violence? Let me tell you short of self defense (which this clearly was NOT) there is absolutely no reason to put your hands on another person.

It doesnt matter if she called him names, if he found her cheating, if she broke his prized possession. None of that would constitute him being in imminent danger and needing to use physical violence.

Also your phrasing of 'if the wife decides to use those incidents against him' demonstrates a lack of understanding of the law. Its not the wife who has a case against him, its the state. Many jurisdictions move forward with DV cases regardless of whether or not the victim cooperates. In some places they can even force the victim to participate.

The OP needs to speak with a local attny that specializes in those matters. He also needs to have the attny confer with an immigration attny (or do it himself) as his status is in jeopardy if convicted. His status can also be impacted if he takes certain 'common' deals that are offered. For USCs certain deals are beneficial but for LPRs they can still have immigration consequences.

Hi, nice to meet you, and about your question, I remark the fact that my comment it's accord to the OP statements about her attitude in the incidents that were depicted his post.

Your opinion about my practice it's subjective and you are free to say it and have a good or bad opinion, but that has nothing to do with OP's issue. I still hold my comment that he need a lawyer and get divorce asap ( my first reply to this topic) and that the wife have a huge advantage over him since the issue got physical and had him arrested (my second comment in this topic), and yes, exists the possibility that those incidents can be use it against him if need it.

Regards.

M.

[Jh6027 2]

Are you saying its the wifes fault? That the wife gets so mad so he has no choice but to use physical violence? Let me tell you short of self defense (which this clearly was NOT) there is absolutely no reason to put your hands on another person.

I don't see where blame was assigned to anyone here. It's obvious there is a negative dynamic here between the OP and his wife. Both have some role to play in that. Regardless I would say the same it's time to at least live separately for a while. It takes time to break negative cycles like this and sometimes it's just not possible. Also due to the way laws are structured in the US he stands to loose much more if this is not fixed.

Seems simple enough and like there is no need to start trying to twist peoples words into things they did not say. We are here to help and support each other not create unneeded arguments.

[Villanelle 4,121]

I dont believe I am twisting anyones words. It was written the issue is growing incident after incident (snip) because the wife get mad without control. That is victim blaming.

Victim blaming is a common defense tactic- but that doesnt make it right.

Saying something like it was the wifes behavior that escalated it allows the abuser to blame the violence on the victim, rather than acknowledging his/her own responsibility.

Courts take different approaches to victim blaming. In some jurisdictions its allowed and is used in part of a successful defense. In others even alluding to it will get you shut down. A local attny who has actually been in the court in question would know what the courts views are.

[Villanelle 4,121]

Ha ha no I am not a lawyer. Have no desire to be one either. Not an armchair activist either. (which by the way is offensive. Heed your own advice about causing unnecessary drama in the forums please). I am an active DV advocate- however if you read posts I have made in the past you will see Ive offered advice to people on both sides as I believe knowledge is power and should not be withheld due to personal beliefs.

As for my participation in the thread and help for the OP:

-I clarified a point about the case being brought on by the state, not the victim. Pointed out the wife may be forced to participate and or the case will move forward even if she has a change of heart.

-I advised him to speak with an immigration attny in addition to a criminal attny as some plea deals still have immigration consequences. (many criminal attnys do not know this and will advise clients to take plea bargains that later on impact their status)Michigan does have Domestic Violence Deferral (769.4a) however like stated he needs to confer with an immigration attny about ramifications that can have.

-I encouraged him to speak with a local attny (rather then an online source) as local attny know the court and what are appropriate defenses.

-I drew attention to the fact that a reply was in the realm of victim blaming. As stated it may be a usable defense but taking on that mindset will not help him in therapy.

The only other thing I can add is he does have a no contact order. He needs to be sure he adheres to it. The incident from a year prior (reported as a disturbance) most likely will be used against him. With out knowing exactly what was written in the police report its impossible to say more. (how it will be used against him or if he can use it to his advantage). The same can be said for his forced mental health observation. A good defense attny can twist both incidents to try to show the wife is hysterical (the hospital cleared him) They may also be able to use self defense depending on the previous police reports. While I dont believe reading his story that is was self defense- there is a jury instruction that states something along the lines of- ' there is evidence that the Complainant may have committed violent acts in the past .You may consider this evidence when you decide whether the defendant reasonably feared for their safety.'

A good prosecutor will use the disturbance as proof of re-occurring and escalating abuse and focus on the fact that the officer reasonably concluded he was a danger to himself or others regardless of the hospital findings. Again, with out knowing the specifics of whats in the reports its hard to say. Either way only a local defense attny should be the one helping prepare a defense. He shouldnt be getting ideas from nor basing a defense from things written on a message board.

--

Starting community service is a good thing. (not sure if he came up with this on his own or if an attny advised him to do so). Individual therapy is also a plus. Im not sure how marriage counseling will go right now as there is a no contact order. He stated "However she is very angry and I do not know if she will press charges or withdraw the case." Again, its not up to her. (as the way it should be IMO). I can point out if she decides to help him there are things she can do. (not withdraw the charges) But she can alter her story. This can be perjury though- so any defense attny who suggests it should be disregarded. She can show up for court and give what is called an intentionally bad performance. Im talking dressing poorly, speaking improperly, wavering on details. This is basically becoming an ineffective witness for the prosecution. Causing the jury to doubt things.

While she is not the one here asking for advice, if she was I would advise her not to do any of the above. I take the position of actions have consequences. If he chose to get physical he should be prepared for the ramifications. Simple assault in Michigan is a misdemeanor. If convicted you can receive time in jail, a fine of up to $500, probation, or restitution.

As for his main concern- will he get deported. Its very complicated. Having a deportable offense does not mean you will be deported.

When someone is convicted of DV in a local court ICE is generally not notified. ICE monitors state level corrections. Jail time for DV is typically served in county facilities. So for a victim of DV that is seeking to have the perpetrator face immigration consequences they need to contact ICE/USCIS and advise them the immigrant has been convicted of a deportable offense. Otherwise immigration typically does not know. It can be brought to their attention during ROC (NA here) or when attempting to naturalize. (possible here). It will also come up when renewing the 10yr card. (anytime you go for biometrics basically)

Even if convicted or if you took a bad plea deal because you did not confer with an immigration attny- and you end up in immigration court; there are forms of relief that might be available. Its not oh you were convicted of it and thats it.

[Villanelle 4,121]

The forums are open to everyone. If you are anyone else has a differing opinion you are free to say so... Anyway, I dont know why you are taking such offense to my comments/participation. I would encourage you as a new member of VJ to read the sites TOS before posting further. (basically either contribute to the thread or stop posting).

[deleted this acco 44]

OP needs to keep his temper in check. U definitely don't want to repeat this again. I remember someone here who had a DV case and she was the perpetrator. The husband had forgiven her but she said the police said they would file the DV charge on behalf of the State. She didn't come back to update how it turned out for her. My advice is to keep your hands to yourself. Take a walk if u wanna cool down.

[Goundamani 2]

Hello all, thank you so much for your replies. I really appreciate your feedback and it really helps me handle this difficult situation. Please do not argue because of me.

I realized my mistake and no matter what happens, I cannot hit my wife. Period.

It is the reason that I have proactively started therapy, anger management and community service. I intend to continue the service and therapy irrespective of what the court decides. I made a mistake and need to be pay the price.

I will take your advice and seek out an immigration attorney as well.

Thanks again, I will keep you all posted on what happens.

[deleted this acco 44]

I wish u the best between u and your wife.