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Kolewenoik31

What does these things mean?

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I have been somewhat ashamed to post. My husband entered on Feb 26th, I was so excited my dream was finally coming true. Let me say that i post this not because I want to make anyone look bad but because I know that I am not alone and someone may need to hear our story.

Continuing.....After about 1 week he leaves and goes to a person that I called "my friend". She never told me he was there even after I asked. Well he stays gone about a week and then calls me to tell me he has no food, money, and was very unhappy here. So another friend finds out about his dilemma and feels sorry for him and me because she really wants our marriage to work. So she pays for him to return home from the city 2.5 hours away. I pick him up the next day he looked upset but soon opens up and looks happy.

A few weeks go bye but several times a week he is irritated, unhappy, isolating himself, just miserable acting. He often calls me a nagging, complaining wife even though I am cooking, cleaning, trying to make him feel at home. If I ask him to economize on the toiletries, he tells me I am complaining. I feel as though I was walking on egg shell. I try to rephrase things so that I am sensitive to his learning new things use extra patience because I understand that its an adjustment. I am putting forth all my energies to really making this thing work. We had our up days and down days. He seemed to pick fights for anything. I had to pass code my phone, internet because he would look on any of my social network and pick a fight about any little stupid things. I felt like I was controlled. I even stopped getting on the internet everyday just because I thought it would help keep peace.

He would sit in the car, lay out side on the grass, all day. He rarely talked to my children was resistant to me teaching him how to fill out apps, say harsh, sharp, words. Even a little physical stuff. I did not know what to do.

I called a pastor in our church to counsel us, we did wonderful for two weeks but then his behaviour returned. I became very dis-hardened by all the stuff that was going on. So I recommended that he call up the pastor and then we can schedule some regular counseling again thinking that it would help with the adjustment...maybe he was really missing his life. He got upset and stormed out, hitchhiking along the road. Both times telling people that I was rude and hard to live with. I had kicked him out and he was not needed here. He also said that my children did not like him, he felt humiliated, demeaned, meaningless, disrespected. But I assure you non of those things happened.

Now he says I need to pay his ticket back home, he loves me but can't live with me. He may come around once a month til we solve our problems in the future, I brought him here for him to suffer. He checked into a shelter, then later said he was going to live with another family.

Currently he claims to be painting a house. He says he needs to make money to support the family and himself. he is wishy washy back and forth and I don't know what to do. My heart is in so much pain on top I have to move and he is nowhere in sight. He received his green card about 1-2 weeks before he left on April 28th.

Please be sensitive with your comments because I already feels very bad. I waited one year he's been here only two months, I sacrificed so much, I sold food, soap, in cold, heat, rain. I did all of the paperwork without an attorney. I asked him if he really loved me he said he did. Now I can say that throughout each approval he would get nervous and his behaviour was strange. I found myself encouraging him a lot because he would stress.

What now?!?!?!?


Met online 9/2012

Courtship 3/1/2013

ClockWatch2.gif

Passport for USC 6/10 thru 28/2013 19 days

First face to face meeting Nov. 4th 2013 dancin5hr.gif

Married 19 November 2013 heart.gif

:energy: USCIS-TSC

5/3/2014 Filed I-130

11/3/2014 NOA-1

24/7/2014 NOA-2 {135 days} :dancing:

12/8/2014 Case Shipped {NVC} :dancing:

:energy: NVC

20/8/2014 NVC received

29/8/2014 NVC case #

31/8/2014 DS-261 submitted

3/9/2014 NVC billed AOS & paid

19/9/2014 AOS sent

30/9/2014 IV invoiced

3/10/2014 IV paid

21/10/2014 IV package sent

21/11/2014 Case complete :dance:(L)

03/12/2014 Interview scheduled

08/12/2014 NVC shipped to Embassy "In Transit"

12/12/2014 Ceac shows "Ready"

:energy:Consulate

15/12/2014 Consulate received

07-08/01/2015 Medical {Passed!!!!}

26/01/2015 Interview results {APPROVED} :dance:(L)

26/01/2015 DHL Air Waybill created online

28/01/2015 Air Waybill shows "In Transit" :yes:

29/01/2015 Visa ready for pick up {DHL}

02/02/2015 Visa in hand

26/02/2015 POE

The warmth of true friendship and the love that binds the hearts of husband and wife are a foretaste of heaven. God has ordained that there should be perfect love and perfect harmony between those who enter into the marriage relation. Let bride and bridegroom in the presence of the heavenly universe pledge themselves to love one another as God has ordained they should. {LYL}

Thought to share our journey for those who need the encouragement!

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Sounds like you are heading for divorce.

How much time did you spend together before he came here?


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Sounds like you are heading for divorce. :cry:

How much time did you spend together before he came here? I lived with him in his country 4 3 months. We met in Aug 2012-Nov 2013 {wedding}.


Met online 9/2012

Courtship 3/1/2013

ClockWatch2.gif

Passport for USC 6/10 thru 28/2013 19 days

First face to face meeting Nov. 4th 2013 dancin5hr.gif

Married 19 November 2013 heart.gif

:energy: USCIS-TSC

5/3/2014 Filed I-130

11/3/2014 NOA-1

24/7/2014 NOA-2 {135 days} :dancing:

12/8/2014 Case Shipped {NVC} :dancing:

:energy: NVC

20/8/2014 NVC received

29/8/2014 NVC case #

31/8/2014 DS-261 submitted

3/9/2014 NVC billed AOS & paid

19/9/2014 AOS sent

30/9/2014 IV invoiced

3/10/2014 IV paid

21/10/2014 IV package sent

21/11/2014 Case complete :dance:(L)

03/12/2014 Interview scheduled

08/12/2014 NVC shipped to Embassy "In Transit"

12/12/2014 Ceac shows "Ready"

:energy:Consulate

15/12/2014 Consulate received

07-08/01/2015 Medical {Passed!!!!}

26/01/2015 Interview results {APPROVED} :dance:(L)

26/01/2015 DHL Air Waybill created online

28/01/2015 Air Waybill shows "In Transit" :yes:

29/01/2015 Visa ready for pick up {DHL}

02/02/2015 Visa in hand

26/02/2015 POE

The warmth of true friendship and the love that binds the hearts of husband and wife are a foretaste of heaven. God has ordained that there should be perfect love and perfect harmony between those who enter into the marriage relation. Let bride and bridegroom in the presence of the heavenly universe pledge themselves to love one another as God has ordained they should. {LYL}

Thought to share our journey for those who need the encouragement!

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One thing I know for certain is that no one can change anyone except oneself. It's important for you to start protecting yourself from any possible abuse accusation that's looming. time to start watching out for yourself and children and possibly time to move on with your life. it's unhealthy to live in the scenero you described here...

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Clearly he married not for love, did U know him well?

sorry about all this but he cant wait to end the marriage

it seem & he has no loyalty.....having no property or kids

I would apply for a divorce....classic user hot n cold head

games. Best wishes

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Looking at your timeline, your short courtship and getting married during your first (and only?) visit is a huge red flag and sign that you did not take much time to get to know each other. Whose idea was it to get married right then?

You mentioned that he was stressed throughout the visa process and that you had to encourage him? I don't really understand what you mean by that what did he say he was stressed about? You'd think every step closer to getting the visa would be a relief and a joyous thing, at least that what it was for me.

I don't really have advice for you but i think if it was me, I'd sit down with him, ask if he was happy to be in the U.S. with me and if I wouldn't get a clear positive answer, I'd think very hard about letting him go. Yes, moving here and adjusting takes time and I had my homesick moments but overall, I never felt miserable to the point where neither I or my husband had to question our marriage.

I am truly wishing you all the best.


Nadine & Kenneth

Our K-1 journey

02/06/2006 filed 129F

07/01/2007 recieved visa via "Deutsche Post"

08/27/2006 POE Dallas

->view my complete timeline

AOS, EAD and AP

12/6/2006 filed for AOS & EAD

1/05/2007 AOS transfered to California Service Center

2/26/2007 EAD recieved!

7/20/2007 filed for AP

8/20/2007 AP recieved

01/16/2008 letter to Congressman

03/20/2008 card production ordered---no interview!!!

03/24/2008 Welcome letter arrived

03/27/2008 my GREENCARD arrived!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!! No more USCIS for about two years!:-))

Removal of Conditions

02/02/2010 filed I-751

02/19/2010 check cashed

02/22/2010 NOA1

05/15/2010 touched

06/10/2010 online update:card production ordered

06/17/2010 approval letter in mail

07/01/20010 Greencard arrived

m_6d36288420d5938301b3093f21f99d98.gif

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Looking at your timeline, your short courtship and getting married during your first (and only?) visit is a huge red flag and sign that you did not take much time to get to know each other. Whose idea was it to get married right then? It was both of our decision to get married right then. One thing is that we are both from the same faith. We studied our principles to the point of exhaustion. In our faith it councils us to not have a long courtship 6-12 months of which we met. Then there were certain things to look for and discuss all those things were done.

You mentioned that he was stressed throughout the visa process and that you had to encourage him? I don't really understand what you mean by that what did he say he was stressed about? You'd think every step closer to getting the visa would be a relief and a joyous thing, at least that what it was for me. No as to what was stressing him, he would tell me the distance, anxiety with coming and whether he will find work, what will he do, my strong personality of which he knew about.

I don't really have advice for you but i think if it was me, I'd sit down with him, ask if he was happy to be in the U.S. with me and if I wouldn't get a clear positive answer, I'd think very hard about letting him go. Yes, moving here and adjusting takes time and I had my homesick moments but overall, I never felt miserable to the point where neither I or my husband had to question our marriage. When things are going good he wants to be here, but if we have one small quarrel he wants to be home. I don't think he would be sincere because as i said he is wishy washy. He said he is raising money for his ticket, he wants to go home and rest and if he decides he will return then he will if not he will stay. He says this relationship is complicate and he is unhappy, then he says he wants to be married. So he is back and forth as I said.

I am truly wishing you all the best.


Met online 9/2012

Courtship 3/1/2013

ClockWatch2.gif

Passport for USC 6/10 thru 28/2013 19 days

First face to face meeting Nov. 4th 2013 dancin5hr.gif

Married 19 November 2013 heart.gif

:energy: USCIS-TSC

5/3/2014 Filed I-130

11/3/2014 NOA-1

24/7/2014 NOA-2 {135 days} :dancing:

12/8/2014 Case Shipped {NVC} :dancing:

:energy: NVC

20/8/2014 NVC received

29/8/2014 NVC case #

31/8/2014 DS-261 submitted

3/9/2014 NVC billed AOS & paid

19/9/2014 AOS sent

30/9/2014 IV invoiced

3/10/2014 IV paid

21/10/2014 IV package sent

21/11/2014 Case complete :dance:(L)

03/12/2014 Interview scheduled

08/12/2014 NVC shipped to Embassy "In Transit"

12/12/2014 Ceac shows "Ready"

:energy:Consulate

15/12/2014 Consulate received

07-08/01/2015 Medical {Passed!!!!}

26/01/2015 Interview results {APPROVED} :dance:(L)

26/01/2015 DHL Air Waybill created online

28/01/2015 Air Waybill shows "In Transit" :yes:

29/01/2015 Visa ready for pick up {DHL}

02/02/2015 Visa in hand

26/02/2015 POE

The warmth of true friendship and the love that binds the hearts of husband and wife are a foretaste of heaven. God has ordained that there should be perfect love and perfect harmony between those who enter into the marriage relation. Let bride and bridegroom in the presence of the heavenly universe pledge themselves to love one another as God has ordained they should. {LYL}

Thought to share our journey for those who need the encouragement!

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Sadly not an uncommon story.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Sorry to hear about your situation. I know it's tough to hear but it sounds like he was only using you for a GC. It's time for you to put yourself and your children first and get a divorce. Your husband's GC is only conditional, DON'T help him adjust status to a permanent when that time comes. Distance yourself from him and move on with your life. I'm sure you deserve better than this.


Met online October 2010


Engaged December 31st 2011


heart.gifMarried May 14th 2013 heart.gif



USCIS Stage


September 8th 2014 - Filed I-130 with Nebraska Service Center


September 16th 2014 - NOA1 received


March 2nd 2015 - NOA2 received :dancing:



NVC Stage


March 28th 2015 - Choice of agent complete & AOS fee paid


April 17th 2015 - IV fee paid


May 1st 2015 - Sent in IV application


May 12th 2015 - Sent in AOS and IV documents


May 18th 2015 - Scan Date


June 18th 2015 - Checklist received


June 22nd 2015 - Checklist response sent to NVC


June 25th 2015 - Put for Supervisor Review


Sept 15th 2015 - Request help from Texas US Senator Cornyn and his team


Sept 23rd 2015 - Our case is moved from supervisor review to NVC's team for dealing with Senator requests


Nov 4th 2015 - CASE COMPLETE!!!! :dancing:



Embassy Stage


Dec 16th 2015 - Medical exam


Dec 21st 2015 - Interview


Dec 21st 2015 - 221(g) issued at interview for updated forms


Jan 13th 2016 - Mailed our reply to the 221(g) to the US Embassy, received and CEAC updated the next morning


Jan 20th 2016 - Embassy require more in-depth info on asset for i-864


Feb 1st 2016 - Sent more in-depth info on assets as requested. Received the next morning


Feb 16th 2016 - Visa has been issued :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:



In the US


April 5th 2016 - POE Newark. No questions asked.


April 14th 2016 - SSN received


May 10th 2016 - First day at my new job :dancing:


May 27th 2016 - Green Card received


June 7th 2016 - Got my Texas driver's license

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Sorry to hear about your situation. I know it's tough to hear but it sounds like he was only using you for a GC. It's time for you to put yourself and your children first and get a divorce. Your husband's GC is only conditional, DON'T help him adjust status to a permanent when that time comes. I thought even if I don't help him he could adjust and get his permanent one without me? Distance yourself from him and move on with your life. I'm sure you deserve better than this.


Met online 9/2012

Courtship 3/1/2013

ClockWatch2.gif

Passport for USC 6/10 thru 28/2013 19 days

First face to face meeting Nov. 4th 2013 dancin5hr.gif

Married 19 November 2013 heart.gif

:energy: USCIS-TSC

5/3/2014 Filed I-130

11/3/2014 NOA-1

24/7/2014 NOA-2 {135 days} :dancing:

12/8/2014 Case Shipped {NVC} :dancing:

:energy: NVC

20/8/2014 NVC received

29/8/2014 NVC case #

31/8/2014 DS-261 submitted

3/9/2014 NVC billed AOS & paid

19/9/2014 AOS sent

30/9/2014 IV invoiced

3/10/2014 IV paid

21/10/2014 IV package sent

21/11/2014 Case complete :dance:(L)

03/12/2014 Interview scheduled

08/12/2014 NVC shipped to Embassy "In Transit"

12/12/2014 Ceac shows "Ready"

:energy:Consulate

15/12/2014 Consulate received

07-08/01/2015 Medical {Passed!!!!}

26/01/2015 Interview results {APPROVED} :dance:(L)

26/01/2015 DHL Air Waybill created online

28/01/2015 Air Waybill shows "In Transit" :yes:

29/01/2015 Visa ready for pick up {DHL}

02/02/2015 Visa in hand

26/02/2015 POE

The warmth of true friendship and the love that binds the hearts of husband and wife are a foretaste of heaven. God has ordained that there should be perfect love and perfect harmony between those who enter into the marriage relation. Let bride and bridegroom in the presence of the heavenly universe pledge themselves to love one another as God has ordained they should. {LYL}

Thought to share our journey for those who need the encouragement!

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He can certainly apply on his own with a divorce waiver, but he has to show evidence of entering the marriage in good faith.

Since he left within the first two months, he probably doesn't have any evidence to support his case.

Things like joint accounts, mixed finances and bills, insurance in both of your names, leasing agreements with both names.

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Are you totally ignoring 2far's reply? She has a point. I just don't think you want to see it yet. I feel with you, but you need a wake up call.

Are you totally ignoring 2far's reply? She has a point. I just don't think you want to see it yet. I feel with you, but you need a wake up call.

Are you totally ignoring 2far's reply? She has a point. I just don't think you want to see it yet. I feel with you, but you need a wake up call.

Are you totally ignoring 2far's reply? She has a point. I just don't think you want to see it yet. I feel with you, but you need a wake up call.

Are you totally ignoring 2far's reply? She has a point. I just don't think you want to see it yet. I feel with you, but you need a wake up call.

Are you totally ignoring 2far's reply? She has a point. I just don't think you want to see it yet. I feel with you, but you need a wake up call.


Filed k1 - 08/20/2015

NOA1 - 08/25/2015

NOA2 - 9/17/2015

NVC Received - 10/14/2015

Send to Amsterdam - 10/16/2015

Amsterdam received - 10/19/2015

Packet 3 in the mail - 10/22/2015

Packet 4 in the mail - 11/3/2015

Medical - 11/23/2015

Interview !!!! - 12/3/2015 Approved !!!

POE - 12/15/2015 (finally)

 

Wedding 01/15/2016 !!

 

AOS!

(unfortunatly we were not able to file any time sooner.)

 

Filed AOS - 03/15/2017

Noa 1 - 03/30/2017

Biometrics - 04/21/2017
RFE - 04/10/2017

Send RFE back - 06/18/2017

RFE Recieved (status changed) - 06/27/2017

EAD/AP Approved - 09/18/2017

 

 

rsz_waitisover1.jpg.e64ce44221da1246df04d25bf6a04bab.jpg

 

                                                                                                                                                   

 

 

 

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Why are you defending this man's actions? He clearly wants nothing to do with you or your children. There isn't a snowball's chance in Hell that I would ever allow an man like this to live in my home with my children, why would you EVER want him back? Divorce and move on. Your children should be first and foremost, why would you ever put any man first? I don;t care what your faith is, have some self respect.



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