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Met a woman, but 90 days isn't enough

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I met a wonderful woman while I was in Bogota, Colombia last week. I am going back to Bogota in a month to spend 2 weeks with her.

There are two major problems we have at the moment: 1) I speak very little Spanish and she speaks even less English. We use Google Translate and it has been mostly fine. We communicate many times a day, even now that I'm back in the U.S. and 2) she doesn't have a tourist visa and makes only ~$300/month. She does have a teenage son, but he is on the other side of Colombia and she hasn't seen him in months and doesn't believe she will be able to see him for a long time more, anyway.

I rent a room in NYC with two awesome roommates and I really don't want to give it up just yet, but then I hear that K-1 visas take forever and a day to process (12+ months) and I am NOT about to go even 2 or 3 months without being with her. I run my own online web business, and so I am trying to figure out if relocating to Bogota is something I could do relatively soon... But it would be incredibly nice if she could come to NYC under, say, a F-1 student visa and go take language courses at a local institute in Manhattan. We've also discussed living in different countries neither of us need visas to get into for 2-3 months at a time until all this can get squared away.

I would really like your advice. Should I spend thousands on an attorney? How hard is it for me to get a long-term visa in Bogota?

Edited by OcculusFive

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I can easily pay for the tuition, I was just wondering what the chances of denial for F-1 or B-1 tourist were. Ideally we could live 6 months in America and 6 months in Bogota, or maybe 3 months in The Bahamas and 3 months in Bogota. I mean, I can work anywhere and am relatively well off (6 figure salary).

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I can easily pay for the tuition, I was just wondering what the chances of denial for F-1 or B-1 tourist were. Ideally we could live 6 months in America and 6 months in Bogota, or maybe 3 months in The Bahamas and 3 months in Bogota. I mean, I can work anywhere and am relatively well off (6 figure salary).


Chances for a visitor visa is nil. Poor and a USC boyfriend are not favorable factors.

Chances for a F-1 will be determined by her background, the school, source of findings, etc. No one can tell you her chances since no one know anything about those factors.

Since you got the money, go for it.

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Attorney fees? Please note this is a DIY site.

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

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Make sure you research the student visa requirements well. Make sure you aren't looking at her applying for a community college that would probably require a good TOFEL or other English language test that she is not able to pass. Then that college tuition may be higher for international students, which may also require money for room and board. For example, if me and my fiance went that route, my community college would have required me to have an average balance of $18,000 for the past three months.

But you may want to look into it further. I just looked at that as an option, but didn't dig too deep.

Also, I would really suggest being able to communicate more than just through Google Translate. It's really difficult to establish a relationship with a language barrier. Even harder if there is an age difference between you too. However, if you were taking language classes or using language software, this may be a mitigating factor if you can prove your Spanish is improving - I think...

Signature coming soon...

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The K1 90 days is for those ready to marry which you are obviously not.

By the time it got approved (if approved), they should know whether they wanna marry or not. Then the 90 days is just fine.

ROC Timeline!

Service Center : California Service Center


Biometrics : 2017-09-28

ROC Approved 2019-01-17


AOS Timeline!

Marriage : 2015-01-10

AOS/EAD/AP NOA : 2015-01-20

Biometrics : 2015-02-17

EAD/AP Approved : 2015-03-17

NPIW : 2015-06-11

AOS Approved : 2015-11-24


K-1 Visa Timeline!

Service Center : Texas Service Center

Transferred? No

Consulate : Frankfurt, Germany

I-129F NOA1 : 2014-03-11

I-129F NOA2 : 2014-08-12

Consulate Received : 2014-09-15

Interview Date : 2014-11-13

Interview Result : Approved

Visa Received : 2014-11-15

US Entry : 2014-12-31

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90 days has nothing to do with anything right now, you are nowhere near that stage. That's after she is already in the states after the 8 to 12 month process of going the K-1 route.

In terms of the K-1, at this time, I would say you don't have enough evidence to prove a bonafide relationship...

The total amount of days from the date I mailed in our K1 Visa application to the day my fiancé stepped foot into the USA:

1 year, 3 months and 8 days.

The amount of days from the date we mailed in our AOS to the date everything was approved (after 3 RFEs):

7 months & 5 days

Which makes our journey a total of:

2 years, 3 months, and 8 days

(L)"I remember the days I prayed for everything I have now." (L)

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If you have the type of job that you can do from anywhere and can afford to keep up with your rent in NYC for several months, the idea of you going to Bogota or to a third country that you both are able to stay in for a while is your best bet. The K-1 visa is not really intended for a "trial run" before getting married (despite what some TV shows try to present), it really is intended to give foreign nationals a legal way to enter the country with the intention of marrying here and setting up residence here. That's why the window is so short.

I really, deeply empathize with your desire to her to "check out" live in the US before progressing with your relationship and possible marriage (already thinking this after a week? I get it, but be careful!) but unfortunately, the choice to immigrate to the US is a choice that many, many, many people are forced to make without seeing the place first. Harsh but true. She has almost no chance of getting a tourist visa (but it only costs $160 to try and who knows? the existence of a minor child could be enough proof of close ties....but it is highly doubtful). Almost any school will require the test to prove that she can speak and is literate in English, and require proof that she's got cash support for her tuition, room and board.

It is probably best at this point in your relationship to focus on getting to know one another better and this is really only going to be accomplished if you move there temporarily or if you visit frequently. Personally, if I had a mobile job and the funds to pay for my unused share of my apartment, I'd have been in Costa Rica 6 months ago. If you go to Colombia, you'll probably be permitted in for 90 days, and that is extendable in-country. I would *not* mess with overstaying whatever they give you. You'll be risking a world of hurt that way. In terms of getting her to visit the US? You can always try for that B-2 visa later on but don't count on it. Some folks are willing to take the risk of moving into the unknown, others aren't. You don't know what she's willing to do until you know her better, and what she's willing to do may change as your relationship develops.

Some reading:


Marriage/ AOS Timeline:

23 Dec 2015: Legal marriage

23 Jan 2016: Wedding!

23 Jan 2016: "Blizzard of the Century", wedding canceled/rescheduled (thank goodness we were legally married first or we'd have had a big problem!) :sleepy:

24 Jan 2016: Small "civil ceremony" with friends and family who were snowed in with us. December was a bit of a secret and people had traveled internationally and knew we *had* to get married that weekend, and our December legal marriage was nothing but signing a piece of paper at our priest's kitchen table, without any sort of vows etc so this was actually a very special (if not legally significant) day. (L)

16 Apr 2016: Filed for AOS and EAD/AP (We delayed a bit-- no big rush, enjoying the USCIS break)

23 Apr 2016: Wedding! Finally! :luv:

27 Apr 2016: Electronic NOA1 for all 3 :dancing:
29 Apr 2016: NOA1 Hardcopy for all 3
29 Jul 2016: Online service request for late EAD (Day 104)
29 Jul 2016: EAD/AP Approved ~3 hours after online service request
04 Aug 2016: RFE for Green Card (requested medicals/ vaccination record. They already have it). :ranting:
05 Aug 2016: EAD/AP Combo Card arrived! (Day 111)
08 Aug 2016: Congressional constituent request to get guidance on the RFE. Hoping they see they have the form and approve!

K-1 Visa Timeline:

PLEASE NOTE. This timeline was during the period of time when TSC was working on I-129fs and had a huge backlog. The average processing time was 210+ days. This is in no way predictive of your own timeline if you filed during or after April 2015, unless CSC develops a backlog. A backlog is anything above the 5-month goal time listed on USCIS's site

14 Feb 2015: Mailed I-129f to Dallas Lockbox. (L) (Most expensive Valentine's card I've ever sent!)

17 Feb 2015: NOA1 "Received Date"
19 Feb 2015: NOA1 Notice Date
08 Aug 2015: NOA2 email! :luv: (173 days from NOA1)

17 Aug 2015: Sent to NVC

?? Aug 2015: Arrived at NVC

25 Aug 2015: NVC Case # Assigned

31 Aug 2015: Left NVC for Consulate in San Jose

09 Sep 2015: Consulate received :dancing: (32 days from NOA2)

11 Sep 2015: Packet 3 emailed from embassy to me, the petitioner (34 days from NOA2).

18 Sep 2015: Medicals complete

21 Sep 2015: Packet 3 complete, my boss puts a temporary moratorium on all time off due to work emergency :clock:

02 Oct 2015: Work emergency clears up, interview scheduled (soonest available was 5 business days away--Columbus Day was in there)

13 Oct 2015: Interview

13 Oct 2015: VISA APPROVED :thumbs: (236 days from NOA1)

19 Oct 2015: Visa-in-hand

24 Oct 2015: POE !

15 Dec 2015: Fiance's mother's B-2 visa interview: APPROVED! So happy she will be at the wedding! :thumbs:


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What heats up fast often cools fast.

Give it some time to cook first.

Also, her son thing...don't take it lightly...

I've seen in play out this way at the beginning of the relationship,

but once she is in US and expect likelihood of either her or her son

eventually wanting to live in US.

May not be a bad thing for you...but it's something to keep in mind.

If you are flexible to live and work in other countries,

perhaps the best option is to go live in Colombia and give

each other a chance to really learn about each other.

10-04-2013 We met online
11-21-2013 We met in person in Shanghai for 2 weeks

12-13-2013 I-129F packet sent via express

12-19-2013 USCIS NOA #1 (text and email) received

12-24-2013 USCIS assigns Alien Registration Number
12-31-2013 USCIS NOA #1 hard copy received
06-02-2014 USCIS web site shows NOA #2 approval
06-06-2014 USCIS web site shows case sent to NVC

06-xx-2014 Fiancee acquired birth, marriage, and police certificates from local police station (wrong)

06-16-2014 NVC creates case with GUZ### number

06-19-2014 NVC sends case sent to Guangzhou, China
06-24-2014 Received packet 3 express mail from embassy
06-25-2014 Completed DS-160 and paid K1 visa fee

06-26-2014 Mailed packet 3 response back to Embassy

06-26-2014 Requested police certificate from Russian embassy

07-08-2014 Received packet 4 email from Embassy

07-17-2014 Picked up Russian police certificate

07-25-2014 Fiancee medical exam (received MMR & Varicella, but they missed required TD shot)

07-31-2014 Picked up medical exam reports

08-01-2014 Request (correct) birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service (GongZhengChu)

08-06-2014 Picked up birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service

08-14-2014 Passed Interview Guangzhou embassy

09-01-2014 Received passport, visa, & sealed envelope

09-13-2014 POE

09-17-2014 Went to CBP office to get (US entry) I-94 updated correctly

09-18-2014 Applied for Social Security Card
09-19-2014 Applied for Marriage License (via online)
09-25-2014 Received Social Security Card
09-30-2014 Picked up Marriage License
10-09-2014 Marriage by Justice of Peace
10-09-2014 Got Certified Marriage Certificate Copies
10-17-2014 Received a letter from SS office that they need the marriage license
10-09-2014 Applied to change the social security card name
10-24-2014 Went back to SS office to provide the marriage certificate documents again!!!
12-09-2014 Submitted AOS, EAD, and AP
12-16-2014 Received 16 emails and 16 text NOA messages
01-05-2015 Received Biometrics appointment letter for (01-12-2015)
01-12-2015 Had Biometrics (fingerprint & picture) - Required Marriage Certificate!!!
02-17-2015 EAD and AP is approved
02-23-2015 Received AP is approval letter
02-25-2015 Received EAD/AP combo card (expires 02/16/2016)
02-27-2015 Applied for SS card name change (they took her SS card)
02-27-2015 Driver's learner permit test was denied since the SS card was given to SS office for name change
03-17-2015 Received SS card with married name
03-17-2015 Started to change all her accounts to married name
03-23-2015 Received potential interview waiver letter
03-27-2015 DMV rejects learner's permit due to "legal status=pending" and vision test failure
04-05-2015 Vision test for learner's permit
04-06-2015 DPS sent us letter that DHS cleared my wife's status to acquire driver's license.
04-10-2015 Passed Driver Learner's Permit
04-22-2015 Received Driver Learner's Permit ID card (expires 02/16/2016)
08-27-2015 Green Card approved
08-31-2015 Received Green Card "Welcome Notice Was Mailed" letter
09-05-2015 Received Green card
10-26-2015 Passed Driver's License Road Test (on 3rd attempt)
11-03-2015 Received Driver's License (expires 02/16/2022)
11-06-2015 Applied to remove conditional work remark on SS card
11-23-2015 Received updated Social Security Card.
- - - - - - - - - - Pending Future Processing - - - - - - - - - -
05-27-2017 File 10 Year Green Card
08-27-2017 2 Year Green Card Expires
05-27-2018 File USC

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