She wants to be back after divorce!!!! Now what?

[Darnell 8,478]

i say file with the waiver,

and live with her without marrying her again,

and if she's still not changed, well, is easy to move out.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

It sounds like she is playing the manipulation game again. I would steer waaaaaay clear of her until you have removed conditions on your own and then consider whether you still want her in your life. To be honest from your previous posts you sound like you would be better off without her but good luck with whatever course of action you take.

[raven52 233]

I have not studied your time line, but to me, I would get my ROC on my own, and if she wanted to be part of my life she would prove it.

I believe this ""counseling"" is just a bunch of wasted time.

This woman knows what she is doing, she is not "sick" but either a manipulating wicked woman, or one that just made a huge mistake.

Just remember, what has happened in the past, can you trust her, is her heart in the right place? SHE WOULD have to prove it to me!

I really feel for you, I think you love her but you do not trust, and you are right, you have reason. Give her a chance if you want, but the ""road back to my heart would be long, and very watchful for her"".,.,.,.,just get your ROC on your own, then see what happens.

God bless, and good luck!

[OLee 64]

i say file with the waiver,

and live with her without marrying her again,

and if she's still not changed, well, is easy to move out.

I was gonna suggest something similar, but Darnell said it all.

[sasafan 3]

i say file with the waiver,

and live with her without marrying her again,

and if she's still not changed, well, is easy to move out.

I also have this in mind but she doesn't want that she wants remarriage. Thank you

[sasafan 3]

It sounds like she is playing the manipulation game again. I would steer waaaaaay clear of her until you have removed conditions on your own and then consider whether you still want her in your life. To be honest from your previous posts you sound like you would be better off without her but good luck with whatever course of action you take.

She is all mixed one hour she is nice and good and the next she so wicked. Now she offers to help with removal of conditions ,how can she help? If she is honest .? Should I depend on the help she may give or I can do without it and enough with the proofs I have already? Thx

[sasafan 3]

I have not studied your time line, but to me, I would get my ROC on my own, and if she wanted to be part of my life she would prove it.

I believe this ""counseling"" is just a bunch of wasted time.

This woman knows what she is doing, she is not "sick" but either a manipulating wicked woman, or one that just made a huge mistake.

Just remember, what has happened in the past, can you trust her, is her heart in the right place? SHE WOULD have to prove it to me!

I really feel for you, I think you love her but you do not trust, and you are right, you have reason. Give her a chance if you want, but the ""road back to my heart would be long, and very watchful for her"".,.,.,.,just get your ROC on your own, then see what happens.

God bless, and good luck!

You sound like my lawyer !!!! Well she does every thing and the opposite, lies a lot . People who lie or fake games all time just to tell you they have something going on are really hard to trust even if you always keep the good days at first when the roses left every where. My tough call now. Is she offers to help with ROC and say she has papers I need.should I add her help to my waiver and consider it as countable evedince ? What kind of help ex spouse can give for any one with waiver? Thank you

[

Edited February 9, 2015 by sasafan

[sasafan 3]

I was gonna suggest something similar, but Darnell said it all.

Thank you for ur help

[Teddy B 17,251]

i say file with the waiver,

and live with her without marrying her again,

and if she's still not changed, well, is easy to move out.

I also have this in mind but she doesn't want that she wants remarriage. Thank you

That should really be all you need to know, she's manipulating you. I would stay away and remove conditions with a divorce waiver.

[Bonnie&Bob 33]

You don't have to re-marry her. If she wants to help you...great. Make things work on your own so you don't feel obligated to anyone. If you feel the need to look further into the option of getting back together with her, no one says you have to marry her. Later try living together maybe but you don't have to get re-married. You've been there and done that already. Where did that get you?? Writing on visa journey to find out what to do next...that's what. Think with your head and not your heart. Obviously you don't know what you want to do exactly so the best thing to do is sit idol. If it didn't work once, history has a habit of repeating its self. Good luck.

[Torete 121]

I also have this in mind but she doesn't want that she wants remarriage. Thank you

Does it really matter what SHE wants? Of course she wants what she wants.

Some good advice already offered. I'd ROC alone. Live together without getting

married and find out how she acts longer term.

Good luck.

[Villanelle 4,121]

This is a complicated issue policy wise which is why you are not getting very many responses back on that, just responses back based on the personal relationship but its very much intertwined.

Policy wise there are a few memos about ROC and divorce/separation- I can dig up the links but they are so wordy most people read them and are still left confused. There have been various couples throughout the forums that have been in different situations where the memos applied (filed jointly- then separated- went to interview together, went alone) I mean just so many variables.

No ones ever presented a situation like this. But using the memos, the how the actual couples above played out, some common sense about the process I can give you my best educated guess of how I think they would apply policy to your situation and view it...

---

First the ROC is based on the entire marriage, not just from when you got the GC until you divorced. You stated in your other post that you were married for a long time before getting the card and then something like a few months after you separated/divorced. It does look suspicious when you seperate soon after getting the card, as if you only stayed for the card. A clearer timeline would be helpful. Something like we were married for a year before applying for the visa, the process took 9 months when I entered and got the conditional card, 7 months later we separated. (thats different then a quick marriage, quick entry, quick divorce). So you want to submit evidence from the whole marriage.

---

Why your lawyer wants you to wait to file? I dont know. Is it an immigration lawyer? Sometimes they recommend waiting if you have weak evidence because the older it gets, well in some ways the better it gets. Its harder for them to track people down that mightve known you as a couple. Things become outdated etc./

---

--- if we are not married until after GC renewal 90 days window and I will need to file RoC , how can she help? A friend told me that she writes a statement that we married of good faith? Is that so or she might do something else? And if that what is needed what is the form or what to white in this statement?

This is an odd question. First if you get married at any point between submitting your ROC and it getting approved they will probably find out - especially if you get called for an interview. So rephrasing it to remarried after 10yr card received- she can help with your waiver filing by writing a letter. No special form is needed, she can have it notarized if she wants. But you need to be careful when submitting something like that. It all comes down to trust.

When YOU submit something from somebody with your ROC packet like that you are giving them authorization to contact the person to verify the contents. They can contact them by phone, inperson, call them in for an interview. If you dont trust her- you dont know what she can say- that you forced her to write it? that it was all a scam? She can make a lot of trouble for you.

Of course they can contact people on their own, but in your other thread someone mentioned credible evidence and the weight different things are given. Its a totally different ball game when you offer something up to them. If you have doubts about the person you should not offer them up.

If she has documents that can help you- sure great. Paperwork you dont have that you can use- ask for it and use it in your packet if it fits in.

--- if we married before Removal of conditions , does this mean that we can apply jointly? Will this affect the case that we divorced in the middle or we may get denied we have many proofs that we lived together until last sep, and we have hundreds of texts after that .or I still need to file for ROC waiver whil we are married?

Honestly and this is a tricky one. I believe even if you dont marry again you could file jointly. I say this based on the couples who were in separation and filed jointly and were allowed to let the joint petition stand because both parties supported it. But again this comes down to trust. Youve mentioned repeatedly you have no trust in her.

Would it effect the petition if you divorced and then remarried right before ROC. IMO YES a big fat YES. It would look like you guys dont understand immigration law and thought you needed to be married for you to keep the card so you did. You would have a big hurdle to face to show that you are married in good faith both times. You would have a tough interview. And again a lot of trust in her to get through it, which you do not have.

The waiver tic box is there for a reason. Its for people who are divorced so they can file on their own with out the support of the USC because they are divorced and dont have the support of the USC any more. Even in an amicable divorce I would not recommend some one to joint file because it looks suspicious like the USC is trying to help them gain benefits.

The few people that did do that were in situations where the ROC was happening and they were making immediate life choices separate- stay together- I dont know what we should do, and filed together. They were honest and filed jointly and honest at the interview and it worked out. Thats not you.

You need to explain to her that you need to complete the ROC process on your own now that you are divorced. Period. You cant remarry while its pending. Period. If she doesnt like it- oh well. She initiated the divorce, these are the consequences. You guys can date during it- thats it.

Dont take a chance messing up your future to bow to her whims. Unless of course you have tons of money and are prepared to go through denials and long battles in immigration appeals courts for the next several years. Or you are interested in returning to Australia and she would like to join you there.

[sasafan 3]

You don't have to re-marry her. If she wants to help you...great. Make things work on your own so you don't feel obligated to anyone. If you feel the need to look further into the option of getting back together with her, no one says you have to marry her. Later try living together maybe but you don't have to get re-married. You've been there and done that already. Where did that get you?? Writing on visa journey to find out what to do next...that's what. Think with your head and not your heart. Obviously you don't know what you want to do exactly so the best thing to do is sit idol. If it didn't work once, history has a habit of repeating its self. Good luck.

Thank you , this is wise answer

[alebrije 15]

File with the waiver, you don't have to wait until the 90 day period.

If your ex-wife wants to help you out, she can help you by giving you any documentation she has that supports your financial comingling during your marriage, statements, leases, pictures etc. I would not send an affidavit from her (IMO), she is apparently not trustworthy and there is much on the line.

Do not rush into remarrying (even after the ROC), take your time to make a decision.

Good luck!

[sasafan 3]

This is a complicated issue policy wise which is why you are not getting very many responses back on that, just responses back based on the personal relationship but its very much intertwined.

Policy wise there are a few memos about ROC and divorce/separation- I can dig up the links but they are so wordy most people read them and are still left confused. There have been various couples throughout the forums that have been in different situations where the memos applied (filed jointly- then separated- went to interview together, went alone) I mean just so many variables.

No ones ever presented a situation like this. But using the memos, the how the actual couples above played out, some common sense about the process I can give you my best educated guess of how I think they would apply policy to your situation and view it...

---

First the ROC is based on the entire marriage, not just from when you got the GC until you divorced. You stated in your other post that you were married for a long time before getting the card and then something like a few months after you separated/divorced. It does look suspicious when you seperate soon after getting the card, as if you only stayed for the card. A clearer timeline would be helpful. Something like we were married for a year before applying for the visa, the process took 9 months when I entered and got the conditional card, 7 months later we separated. (thats different then a quick marriage, quick entry, quick divorce). So you want to submit evidence from the whole marriage.

---

Why your lawyer wants you to wait to file? I dont know. Is it an immigration lawyer? Sometimes they recommend waiting if you have weak evidence because the older it gets, well in some ways the better it gets. Its harder for them to track people down that mightve known you as a couple. Things become outdated etc./

---

This is an odd question. First if you get married at any point between submitting your ROC and it getting approved they will probably find out - especially if you get called for an interview. So rephrasing it to remarried after 10yr card received- she can help with your waiver filing by writing a letter. No special form is needed, she can have it notarized if she wants. But you need to be careful when submitting something like that. It all comes down to trust.

When YOU submit something from somebody with your ROC packet like that you are giving them authorization to contact the person to verify the contents. They can contact them by phone, inperson, call them in for an interview. If you dont trust her- you dont know what she can say- that you forced her to write it? that it was all a scam? She can make a lot of trouble for you.

Of course they can contact people on their own, but in your other thread someone mentioned credible evidence and the weight different things are given. Its a totally different ball game when you offer something up to them. If you have doubts about the person you should not offer them up.

If she has documents that can help you- sure great. Paperwork you dont have that you can use- ask for it and use it in your packet if it fits in.

Honestly and this is a tricky one. I believe even if you dont marry again you could file jointly. I say this based on the couples who were in separation and filed jointly and were allowed to let the joint petition stand because both parties supported it. But again this comes down to trust. Youve mentioned repeatedly you have no trust in her.

Would it effect the petition if you divorced and then remarried right before ROC. IMO YES a big fat YES. It would look like you guys dont understand immigration law and thought you needed to be married for you to keep the card so you did. You would have a big hurdle to face to show that you are married in good faith both times. You would have a tough interview. And again a lot of trust in her to get through it, which you do not have.

The waiver tic box is there for a reason. Its for people who are divorced so they can file on their own with out the support of the USC because they are divorced and dont have the support of the USC any more. Even in an amicable divorce I would not recommend some one to joint file because it looks suspicious like the USC is trying to help them gain benefits.

The few people that did do that were in situations where the ROC was happening and they were making immediate life choices separate- stay together- I dont know what we should do, and filed together. They were honest and filed jointly and honest at the interview and it worked out. Thats not you.

You need to explain to her that you need to complete the ROC process on your own now that you are divorced. Period. You cant remarry while its pending. Period. If she doesnt like it- oh well. She initiated the divorce, these are the consequences. You guys can date during it- thats it.

Dont take a chance messing up your future to bow to her whims. Unless of course you have tons of money and are prepared to go through denials and long battles in immigration appeals courts for the next several years. Or you are interested in returning to Australia and she would like to join you there.

Thank you very much for taking time and effort to reply , I have been waiting for this answer , of course I still have feelings for her, we had good days at the beginning , we knew each other for like 3 years before marriage and married for over than two years , she filed divorce behind my back whil we live together 5 months after I entered the states, she said she dropped it then at 5 months after the divorce was final. We were living together until final divorce paper issued.i do not know if this is considered quick marriage or not as it was normal life of married ppl but lately became troubled after being in the states. No I don trust her. And have doubts with any thing she says or do . Thx again for your great help.