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Wife Left...What Now?

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
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My wife came from Colombia two weeks ago. In that time, her mother has not been in good health, she has been worried sick over her, and she has been extremely home sick and depressed. We decided she would return to Colombia today, which she did. Honestly, I doubt she will be coming back. We have filed a CR1 visa, but it is still in the waiting to get looked at stack at the VSC. If we decide to end our marriage, what do we need to do? Is it better to do something with it before it starts to be processed? Any direction through this difficult time would be greatly appreciated.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline

Ok, this is really sad, but your wife left today to take care of her mother who is ill and your first concern is about what to do if you decide to end your marriage?!

It's not quite that black and white. Her mother is in the same health as when she left. Her mother is in the same health the past few months...respiratory from being a chronic smoker. She moved next door to her sister and her son moved in to be there to assist with anything. There is nothing life shattering going with her mom as we speak...just misses her mom immensely. My wife had only been here two weeks before she couldn't take being away. It's a situation that will never get better. She and I are just considering the options, so I'm asking for some feedback here.

What visa did she come on, K1 or Cr-1/IR-1?

She was visiting on a tourist visa for a few weeks while the CR1 petition is processed, which was been submitted three months ago, but not processed yet.

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~~moved to effects of major family changes on immigration from IR1/CR1 process and procedures~~


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: China
Timeline

While I understand what you are getting at, I think in the OP he was pretty clear on what is going on. He pointed out she is unhappy and homesick and likely not coming back. So if he wants advice, not getting into his business, then that is what he should receive. Not people shooting him down for asking a serious question because they feel "How dare he...". Is that not what this place is all about?

That is a sad situation and it is best to look at the worse case scenario while hoping for the best. I know you must be devastated but at least you have an idea of what is happening so you are a step ahead. I believe if your wife truly loves you, she will find a way to make it work. If not, you must plan together what you can do.

I would make sure your wife is NOT coming back and then look into your options with USCIS, maybe you can get better advice from someone here. Regardless, sorry that happened to you, I know how I would feel in that situation, all that waiting and lots of expenses for two weeks, only to realize she is not happy and wants to go back. Maybe the mother is an excuse, maybe not. But speculation does no good here, rather look at the situation from all sides.

Sorry again OP

**So far, this is the most constructive post in this thread. Any additional posts in this thread need be made in this same vein, giving the OP constructive advice about their situation in regards to immigration. Any judgemental posts about the OP's personal situation will be removed and the poster thread banned.**

Our journey:

Spoiler

September 2007: Met online via social networking site (MySpace); began exchanging messages.
March 26, 2009: We become a couple!
September 10, 2009: Arrived for first meeting in-person!
June 17, 2010: Arrived for second in-person meeting and start of travel together to other areas of China!
June 21, 2010: Engaged!!!
September 1, 2010: Switched course from K1 to CR-1
December 8, 2010: Wedding date set; it will be on February 18, 2011!
February 9, 2011: Depart for China
February 11, 2011: Registered for marriage in Wuhan, officially married!!!
February 18, 2011: Wedding ceremony in Shiyan!!!
April 22, 2011: Mailed I-130 to Chicago
April 28, 2011: Received NOA1 via text/email, file routed to CSC (priority date April 25th)
April 29, 2011: Updated
May 3, 2011: Received NOA1 hardcopy in mail
July 26, 2011: Received NOA2 via text/email!!!
July 30, 2011: Received NOA2 hardcopy in mail
August 8, 2011: NVC received file
September 1, 2011: NVC case number assigned
September 2, 2011: AOS invoice received, OPTIN email for EP sent
September 7, 2011: Paid AOS bill (payment portal showed PAID on September 9, 2011)
September 8, 2011: OPTIN email accepted, GZO number assigned
September 10, 2011: Emailed AOS package
September 12, 2011: IV bill invoiced
September 13, 2011: Paid IV bill (payment portal showed PAID on September 14, 2011)
September 14, 2011: Emailed IV package
October 3, 2011: Emailed checklist response (checklist generated due to typo on Form DS-230)
October 6, 2011: Case complete at NVC
November 10, 2011: Interview - APPROVED!!!
December 7, 2011: POE - Sea-Tac Airport

September 17, 2013: Mailed I-751 to CSC

September 23, 2013: Received NOA1 in mail (receipt date September 19th)

October 16, 2013: Biometrics Appointment

January 28, 2014: Production of new Green Card ordered

February 3, 2014: New Green Card received; done with USCIS until fall of 2023*

December 18, 2023:  Filed I-90 to renew Green Card

December 21, 2023:  Production of new Green Card ordered - will be seeing USCIS again every 10 years for renewal

 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline

I apologize, I realize that my post came off more judgmental than I intended. Thanks to everyone who politely pointed it out. Sorry, OP.

This is a tough situation. I'm actually surprised more people don't get homesick when they move to the US, and what is happening to you and your wife must be heart breaking on both ends. I'm sorry you're going through this.

As far as immigration concerns, I wouldn't worry about that right now. Figure out with your wife what you would like to do. I-130s can be suspended if you don't wish to go forward right now but might in the future, it won't be detrimental to hold if you're still married. If you decide you really want to cancel it, you can write to USCIS to withdraw the petition.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do

Edited by F1H1I130
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Filed: Timeline

Well the thought of moms illness will have her home-sick even though

she was ill when she left, the fact that the day she leave U R ready to

pack it in says U too are fed-up and decision making on the matter very

quick , speak to her after she gets home see where her heads at then

if it can stand the test of time & distance, make a decision then wrap it up

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Italy
Timeline

It sounds like it's a period of great stress for her. As of now, I wouldn't jump to conclusions as to whether or not the marriage and/or the visa process has to be ended - decisions made in times of great stress are rarely the right ones.

You have the possibility of ending the visa process anytime by contacting the embassy before the interview, and by her not showing up at the interview. Since the petition is still in process, I would personally take more time to see if she changes her mind.

- I am the beneficiary -

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One thing I recommend is to send a magic jack to your spouses parents so they can call your spouse anytime on the phone. Of coarse, the spouses parents will need to have internet at home. My spouses parents are able to call my wife on her cell phone or home phone. Occasionally they talk using Skype but they usually talk over the phone line. This will help so much for your spouse to deal with being home sick. My wife's sister now lives in Sweden. We just sent her a magic jack plus so she can call my wife's parents in the Philippines or call my wife in the USA any time. This has helped so much for my wife to make the transition. She is now totally adjusted. The other thing that helped her a lot was getting her drivers license as soon as possible and getting an entry level job. She was a school teacher in her country but is now a Certified Nursing Assistant. She is now taking some prerequisites for nursing school.

In a few more months, my wife will become a US Citizen. I am so proud that she wants US Citizenship.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline

One thing I recommend is to send a magic jack to your spouses parents so they can call your spouse anytime on the phone.

I didn't even think about that. What a great idea. We had been using Skype and then the Skype toll charges to call on the cell phone, which can add up.

Thank you everybody for your thoughtful words and advice. It is very difficult. She told me today she does not want a divorce and wants to return in December. What I don't understand at this point is if it is so difficult after two weeks here, what makes it all better to return in November?

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One thing I recommend is to send a magic jack to your spouses parents so they can call your spouse anytime on the phone. Of coarse, the spouses parents will need to have internet at home. My spouses parents are able to call my wife on her cell phone or home phone. Occasionally they talk using Skype but they usually talk over the phone line. This will help so much for your spouse to deal with being home sick. My wife's sister now lives in Sweden. We just sent her a magic jack plus so she can call my wife's parents in the Philippines or call my wife in the USA any time. This has helped so much for my wife to make the transition. She is now totally adjusted. The other thing that helped her a lot was getting her drivers license as soon as possible and getting an entry level job. She was a school teacher in her country but is now a Certified Nursing Assistant. She is now taking some prerequisites for nursing school.

In a few more months, my wife will become a US Citizen. I am so proud that she wants US Citizenship.

If you decide to purchase a magic jack to send to another country, set it up at home and make sure it is working before mailing outside the USA. You may need to utilize magic jack on line support to get it working. That way you avoid issues with someone that is not as computer literate as you. It is really easy but on a couple occasions I needed magic jack online chat support. I have one at home. My wife's parents have one, my wife's sister now has one. These are all the magic jack plus because once you set it up using your computer USB port, you can then connect the magic jack directly to the ethernet router (wifi router). One of usually 4 ports available on your wifi router and an AC outlet. This way you don't need to leave a computer running. I love it. The other thing is once you have it running, you can also setup your cell phone to receive and make phone calls using a magic jack app. Why would you want that? Anytime you are on a trip outside the USA, you can still receive your home phone calls using your cell phone if your cell phone is connected to a wifi signal. That is a really nice feature to have.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Romania
Timeline

We had a magic jack here in Romania and we were able to call the states just by plugging it in to our PC and using some headphones for only $19.95 for a year! Our service ended, but it is something I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend.

6/24/2014 - I-130 Shipped via UPS to Chicago

6/26/2014 - I-130 Received and signed for at USCIS

7/1/2014 - E-mail of acceptance with Receipt number - NoA 1 (Routed to California Service Center)

07/15/2014 - Change of Address via phone call with USCIS, confirmation via e-mail.

7/30/2014 - I-130 Approved at USCIS - NoA 2 E-mail

08/13/2014 - NVC Received Approved I-130 package from USCIS

08/21/2014 - Case Number and IIN created at NVC

08/25/2014 - Case Number and IIN received via phone call. DS-261 Available and completed online.

8/26/2014 - AoS Fee invoiced and paid online.

8/28/2014 - AoS Invoice status PAID

09/04/2014 - Expedite Request response - Must enter Beneficiary Date of Birth - Re-sent exact e-mail with requested info

09/10/2014 - Expedite Request e-mail received as "Under Review"

09/11/2014 - Expedite Request Approved - Confirmation via e-mail from U.S. Embassy in Bucharest, Romania

09/16/2014 - Embassy Received Case from NVC

09/16/2014 - Received E-mail from Embassy to Schedule our Interview and prepare documents

9/23/2014 - Medical Exam at Regina Maria - Results OK

10/01/2014 - Visa Approved!

10/03/2014 - Received Passport with Visa!

11/2/2104 - PoE Atlanta - Welcome to the US!

11/5/2014 - Paid $165 ELIS Fee

8/1/2016 - I-751 Packet sent in for Removal of Conditions!

8/15/2016 - Notice of Action 1 for I-751 - California Service Center

9/29/2016 - Received Biometrics Appointment

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Australia
Timeline

It takes roughly a year, give or take, for someone to start settling in to life in a new country. ...when you have a parent who is sick and you're not nearby to help and be present, I can only imagine it's grueling. I know I didn't do well when my mother was sick and I was 3,000 miles away, and I made a lot of personal sacrifices to be nearby as much as I could.

If you both want to continue this marriage, I'd work on being as present as possible in their lives via Skype, Google Hangout, whatever. You can't help the whole sick mom thing, but you can help with home sickness; make sure there are familiar foods around, for example. And prepare for her to do a lot of traveling over the next while, as her mom either gets better or worse.

When relatives are sick, it's really hard to see beyond that - especially when you're afraid that every time you get on the plane, it's the last time.

Good luck.

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