Sending kids to wifes parents to raise. Advice needed.

[maximus 0]

Me and my wife may need to send both our kids a 1 yr. old and 5 yr. old to Philippines to live with my wifes parents for at least 2 yrs or more. We can not make it with my only income and the stress of the kids is taking a emotional toll on both of us. My wife is unable to get a job to help because then we need to pay child care for 2 children. We have NO family here to help us. Me and my wife fight and argue and the stress on my wife is enormous to handle 2 kids on her own. Anyone have or been thru this and what happened in your case?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I'm truly sorry to hear this.

This may end up being a lifetime experience for the kids as they will learn the culture on the ground.

[DreamNHope 9]

Me and my wife may need to send both our kids a 1 yr. old and 5 yr. old to Philippines to live with my wifes parents for at least 2 yrs or more. We can not make it with my only income and the stress of the kids is taking a emotional toll on both of us. My wife is unable to get a job to help because then we need to pay child care for 2 children. We have NO family here to help us. Me and my wife fight and argue and the stress on my wife is enormous to handle 2 kids on her own. Anyone have or been thru this and what happened in your case?

Are the 2 kids your own or hers or together? I assume they must be hers because you're thinking of sending back to the Phillippines.

I find it very STRANGE for a mom to be OK with the idea of separating herself from her own kid(s). They're her own BLOOD! If she does that, you think she would be loyal to you?

Moms would do anything for their kids, including sacrificing their own lives. What you just described really puzzled me!

[Boiler 43,597]

Seems very common in PI, different cultures.

[maximus 0]

the 5 yr old is hers and the 1 yr is thru our marriage. im heart broken of the idea of sending either one of the kids but the stress on my wife being alone to take care of the kids, there has been several times were my wife was so sick could barely get out of bed and i took off from work, im out of sick leave now. the living cost for the kids would be 1/3 of what it cost to raise the kids in usa. my wife is on the verge of nervious, emotional break down. we want to try to get her mom here to usa on touist visa but that seems difficult to obtain for a poor family.

[apple21 953]

Me and my wife may need to send both our kids a 1 yr. old and 5 yr. old to Philippines to live with my wifes parents for at least 2 yrs or more. We can not make it with my only income and the stress of the kids is taking a emotional toll on both of us. My wife is unable to get a job to help because then we need to pay child care for 2 children. We have NO family here to help us. Me and my wife fight and argue and the stress on my wife is enormous to handle 2 kids on her own. Anyone have or been thru this and what happened in your case?

If the grandparents are willing to take on the responsibility, then go for it.

All the best.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

the 5 yr old is hers and the 1 yr is thru our marriage. im heart broken of the idea of sending either one of the kids but the stress on my wife being alone to take care of the kids, there has been several times were my wife was so sick could barely get out of bed and i took off from work, im out of sick leave now. the living cost for the kids would be 1/3 of what it cost to raise the kids in usa. my wife is on the verge of nervious, emotional break down. we want to try to get her mom here to usa on touist visa but that seems difficult to obtain for a poor family.

Do what you and your Wife feel is in the best interest of your family.

Good luck.

[maximus 0]

Me and my wife may need to send both our kids a 1 yr. old and 5 yr. old to Philippines to live with my wifes parents for at least 2 yrs or more. We can not make it with my only income and the stress of the kids is taking a emotional toll on both of us. My wife is unable to get a job to help because then we need to pay child care for 2 children. We have NO family here to help us. Me and my wife fight and argue and the stress on my wife is enormous to handle 2 kids on her own. Anyone have or been thru this and what happened in your case?

the 5 yr old is hers and the 1 yr is thru our marriage. im heart broken of the idea of sending either one of the kids but the stress on my wife being alone to take care of the kids, there has been several times were my wife was so sick could barely get out of bed and i took off from work, im out of sick leave now. the living cost for the kids would be 1/3 of what it cost to raise the kids in usa. my wife is on the verge of nervious, emotional break down. we want to try to get her mom here to usa on touist visa but that seems difficult to obtain for a poor family.

[Pamala Bull 4]

sorry i sound harsh , but why have children and send them off somewhere when you cant handle them.

What would you tell your kids when they get older. Why have kids at all if you cant afford them.??

i just get mad because i 'm my case i really really want kids but am waiting till we are financially set and one of us has a college degree.

Sounds like your wife has Postpartum Depression . She can get help and get medicine and will probaly end up feeling better.

[Boiler 43,597]

Sounds like the last thing you need is another mouth to feed.

[Ryan H 3,791]

Duplicate topics merged.

[MouadsWife 161]

It sounds as if your wife has depression. If you send your children away to live with your parents it will not alleviate that. You need to seek professional help for wife, for the sake of your wifes happiness, for yours and your children's happiness. If cost is an issue the overall outcome is worth it. Please do not sacrifice your family for fear you can't afford it.

[JoBri 545]

not to mention that seperation anxiety can be a lifetime issue for the kids. To be sent away from the parents, even as young as 1 year old, can have a serious impact on the children, even if it is temporary. All they know is they are not with their parents who are supposed to love them and be there for them. And the impact can go on well into adulthood, creating anxiety and relationship issues down the road. I feel sad for the kids...

Edited October 20, 2013 by Brijo

[maximus 0]

Thats my biggist concern is the 1 yr old wont no the birth parents cuz grand parents take care of them. I really need advice from someone who has actually sent the kids to phil. Im sure its happen b4. Or anyone know if its possible to bring the grandma on tourist visa to usa n help us or try a family visa if my wife bcum citizen n usa?

Edited October 20, 2013 by maximus

[Hank_ 9,173]

Thats my biggist concern is the 1 yr old wont no the birth parents cuz grand parents take care of them. I really need advice from someone who has actually sent the kids to phil. Im sure its happen b4. Or anyone know if its possible to bring the grandma on tourist visa to usa n help us or try a family visa if my wife bcum citizen n usa?

Thats my biggist concern is the 1 yr old wont no the birth parents cuz grand parents take care of them. I really need advice from someone who has actually sent the kids to phil. Im sure its happen b4. Or anyone know if its possible to bring the grandma on tourist visa to usa n help us or try a family visa if my wife bcum citizen n usa?

Sponsoring her parents and bringing them here is possible.

Another concern with sending the oldest (which is a K2) to live in the Phils is that USCIS could revoke the green card if gone too long, then that child would not be allowed to come back into the States without petitioning again.