Withdrawal of I-864 form

[InHisTime 110]

So sad everytime I read this kind of story. What is the essence of having a GC, if it is not acquired in good faith ?

Hope God would guide and give you strength and wisdom as you face these challenges in life. Be strong and please protect yourself as advised. God bless you and take care.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Thanks so much for the advice. This has just been really hard to deal with, and I still keep thinking its all my fault.

Maybe, maybe not, this is called transfer of guilt - very common. BUT just a word of caution. You're dealing with a different person now, a coached adversary. She is not that same sweet gentle kind person. So be careful on your actions.

[InHisTime 110]

Thanks so much for the advice. This has just been really hard to deal with, and I still keep thinking its all my fault.

OP, if I may ask, why do you think it's all your fault ? any red flags before ?

[Pinkrlion 2,610]

She cannot adjust from a k-1, without the fiance/husband being the sponsor. Make sure to put the request in writing, and request infopass appt.

[Darnell 8,478]

So sad everytime I read this kind of story. What is the essence of having a GC, if it is not acquired in good faith ?

Hope God would guide and give you strength and wisdom as you face these challenges in life. Be strong and please protect yourself as advised. God bless you and take care.

God discusses 'how to kill' in Her Bible as well, so keep that in mind as yer seeking the right adversary for combat.

[aws&ndd 103]

OP, if I may ask, why do you think it's all your fault ? any red flags before ?

There was never any red flags with our case. I keep thinking its my fault because if we never had our little fight, then maybe she never would have left.

[Caryh 5,206]

There was never any red flags with our case. I keep thinking its my fault because if we never had our little fight, then maybe she never would have left.

If you're thinking she just married you for a green card, then you must have other reasons too, as it sounds as if you've been doubting your relationship for a long time. I'm fairly sure many petitioners have a bit of that fear, but was your's really high, or did it just get worse when she got the police involved?

Getting the police involved after talking to her sister after an argument, does raise some serious red flags. Couples will have arguments, hopefully they'll fight fair when they have them and the end result can be positive. There is no positive when you call the police unless you're escaping a violent situation, or in her case, possibly putting a VAWA case together.

Good luck to you. I hope you heal quickly.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

There was never any red flags with our case. I keep thinking its my fault because if we never had our little fight, then maybe she never would have left.

Maybe.. you don't know. If you hadn't have fought she would still be living there happily OR she would have left you once she got the GC OR a myriad of other scenarios.

The truth of the matter is you did have a fight. Her response to that fight was, in my opinion, a big overreaction to call police and go to a woman's shelter. A lot of what you've said she did with the police there is a warning sign to you. I would consider yourself lucky that she wasn't more skilled or you could be in jail right now for assault.

[aws&ndd 103]

If you're thinking she just married you for a green card, then you must have other reasons too, as it sounds as if you've been doubting your relationship for a long time. I'm fairly sure many petitioners have a bit of that fear, but was your's really high, or did it just get worse when she got the police involved?

Getting the police involved after talking to her sister after an argument, does raise some serious red flags. Couples will have arguments, hopefully they'll fight fair when they have them and the end result can be positive. There is no positive when you call the police unless you're escaping a violent situation, or in her case, possibly putting a VAWA case together.

Good luck to you. I hope you heal quickly.

I've had my suspicions after her sister tried giving me immigration advice that wasn't right. Her sister had been living in the US illegally for over 10 years, but now has a green card. So her sister was giving me advice on how to fill out some of the forms so that it would be easier for her to be approved and get her visa. I wanted to do things the right way, so that there wouldn't be any problems down the road. Nancy through a fit that I wasn't seeking the advice of her sister, but rather the great advice given here on VJ. This little incident raised my suspicions quite a bit about Nancy's real intent on coming here. Then after we moved here, all Nancy wanted to do was move to be near her sister. Another thing that raised my suspcions, Nancy talked about spending a couple months with her sister, without me. She talked about when she goes back to Colombia to visit family, that she doesn't want me with her. It doesn't raise my suspicions about the green card, just about how she really feels about me. My suspicions raised again after she called the cops for something so stupid that could have been solved between us.

[aws&ndd 103]

Maybe.. you don't know. If you hadn't have fought she would still be living there happily OR she would have left you once she got the GC OR a myriad of other scenarios.

The truth of the matter is you did have a fight. Her response to that fight was, in my opinion, a big overreaction to call police and go to a woman's shelter. A lot of what you've said she did with the police there is a warning sign to you. I would consider yourself lucky that she wasn't more skilled or you could be in jail right now for assault.

You are right, she would have found another way to leave if that's what she really wanted.

Although there wasn't any evidence of assault, or even abuse for that matter, the cops really couldn't do anything but take her to the shelter. I have heard from Nancy since she went to the shelter, and she basically told me she is receiving phscological therapy for what happened. I never knew that our little fight would cause her to need therapy. I just don't understand it.

[Darnell 8,478]

IMO, she's been coached for VAWA and is attempting to build evidence to make a VAWA case.

[fantonledzepp 159]

I'm already planning on changing the locks...but its good advice to have someone else here with me when she comes to get her stuff.

You can call the police to be there for the removal of clothes. They call it a "clothes job." You can document that police were present when she removed her clothes. Remember that it has to be quick, have it packed and ready to go.

Don't be alone with her, ever. Sorry you're going through this.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

You are right, she would have found another way to leave if that's what she really wanted.

Although there wasn't any evidence of assault, or even abuse for that matter, the cops really couldn't do anything but take her to the shelter. I have heard from Nancy since she went to the shelter, and she basically told me she is receiving phscological therapy for what happened. I never knew that our little fight would cause her to need therapy. I just don't understand it.

You found a Cop that cared to use his judgement for wahtever reason adn that worked out good fo ryou. You may not be lucky next time.

You don't need physical evidence to be arrested for assault or abuse. Simply stating that she feels threatened by you or what you said, etc can easily mean arrest or at the very least that you be removed from the residence and having a PRO issued.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

If you're thinking she just married you for a green card, then you must have other reasons too, as it sounds as if you've been doubting your relationship for a long time. I'm fairly sure many petitioners have a bit of that fear, but was your's really high, or did it just get worse when she got the police involved?

Getting the police involved after talking to her sister after an argument, does raise some serious red flags. Couples will have arguments, hopefully they'll fight fair when they have them and the end result can be positive. There is no positive when you call the police unless you're escaping a violent situation, or in her case, possibly putting a VAWA case together.

Good luck to you. I hope you heal quickly.

'

I couldn't agree more. They are not relationship Coaches, rather their arrival is to find out if a crime was commited, who commited the crime and to make an arrest.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

IMO, she's been coached for VAWA and is attempting to build evidence to make a VAWA case.

Darnell is right.

Yesterday I posted some information(vawa part 3)but today this new thread was opened then I am posting here again some information regarding Vawa , because every day we have new victims entering in the Vawa thread.

Every week I receive hundreds of emails. I am member of other sites as well, and I will try to answer here some frequent questions and provide some information.

If you were victim of mental abuse you MUST submit a psychological evaluation. Shelters can provide counseling, but counselor cannot diagnose you or perform a psychological evaluation,since they are not psychologist. The counselor letter will help your case, but the psychological evaluation will increase a lot your chance to have your case approved if you are diagnosed with severe depression and/or pos traumatic disorder and/or anxiety. Ask the psychologist to mention diagnose, number of sessions, duration of each session, treatment recommended, evolution of the treatment and if you have any referral to see a doctor.

When you have your Vawa case denied you have the option to file an appeal or submit a motion,it depends of each decision. If your case has to go to the Appeal to the Federal Circuit Courts and you submitted your appeal to the 2nd or 9th Circuits they will review your case based in domestic violence/extreme cruelty, but if you are in the 3rd, 5th, 6th, 7th, or 10th, the Federal Circuit Court CANNOT review the decision issued by an immigration judge or the BIA because the “extreme cruelty” is considered a discretionary factor, and they consider that can only be decided by the immigration judge and the BIA.

Many people in deportation proceedings filing Vawa Cancelation of Removal asked me how can I prove hardship? ( the alien must prove extreme abuse and hardship), well you can establish hardship by proving that your recovery from abuse would be jeopardized if deported, or proving the abuser threatened to track the victim down in her/his home Country if she/he leave the U.S, and proving you maintain a protection order in the U.S. against the abuser.

Many people do not mention some circumstances of the verbal abuse, because they don't know if it's abuse or not.Berating your ethnicity;threatening to report you with allegations that you married for immigration papers, forcing you to work without work permit, threatening to turn you in because of your immigration status, threatening to take your kids away all these circumstances are considered mental abuse.

When writing your affidavit you MUST describe the courtship. I saw hundreds of RFEs because the individuals failed to describe the courtship they need to know if you got married to get papers or for love, and they will be able to find out about that when they know the circumstance that lead you to got married.

Every time you submit affidavits from your friends they MUST state their full name, place of birth, date of birth, present address and contact number. Your friends must inform when they met you first time and where, last time they saw you or heard about you etc.

I know many people here did not submit their Vawa case and others are still living with their spouses, then here is what we use to say to all victims of domestic violence or victims of mental abuse:

- take pictures of the house if the abuser broke or destroyed some stuff in the house;

-take pictures if you have some visible injuries;

-go to the hospital TODAY IF YOU WERE BATTERED or if you feel suicidal or depressed. Any hospital will admit you for consultation even if you can't afford to pay them, after receiving the bill you can apply for "charity" with the hospital;

-call 911 if you are battered or feel threatened. Do not worry they won't "deport" you! ;

-If you are suffering domestic violence or you are being mentally abused call Domestic violence hotline and ask them a shelter where you can stay,

-when leaving the house take with you ALL your documents and children's documents as well. Leave just a brief note saying "I left",in order for your husband to know that you were not kidnapped, and not to call the cops and put everyone searching for you and your kids. Do not mention with neighborhoods or his friends that you are moving to a shelter;

- DO NOT ANSWER the abuser phone calls after leaving him/her or his/her family phone calls, tell your family not to disclose with him/her where you are living,

-delete him/her from facebook , change your facebook/email passwords;

-as soon you leave your house go to the family Court to file for child's custody;

-if you are moving to a shelter take just 1 suitcase per person;

-do not leave your house if the abuser is there, try to leave when he is not at home,of course if you call 911 you can leave the house because the cops will be there;

-If you don't have any money or food find a "salvation army" place they will be able to help you out, specially those with police report;

Be safe!

I think you should take steps to protect yourself from further accusation.

Edited June 24, 2013 by Merrytooth