I got scammed the biggest scam of my life

[sumdesi 3]

What about having just a wedding in China and then come to US to reguster?will that still be considered married??my fiancee really wants a wedding in China since all of her friends and family are there.

As long as it's nothing legally related and just a ceremony/party, I don't see anything wrong with it. And to the OP: I suggest trying to communicate better with her. My fiancee and I also have stressful miscummunication like this. Good luck

i had a similar question... overwhelming VJ members recommended against this!

here's the thread:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/432499-k1-filed-can-we-do-a-wedding-ceramony-and-not-register-it/#entry6252717

[KayDeeCee 4,892]

Thanks all for your responses. I have already told her about K1 and the need to marry in the US and not her country. She is blaming it on her brothers (she is from a village) and how they won't let her go alone. I told her that it's impossible for me to go to her country even for one week. She simply ended the relationship and said good luck in your life. We fought a lot before this but she would always go nutts and call me 100 times a day until we get back together. Now after she got the visa it seems it's the opposite.

At this point, I have made up my mind and I don't want her anymore. My main concern is that she would use the visa to come to the USA and live with her sister illegally. If I tell the embassy there, would they call her back and revoke the visa??

All you can do is contact the consulate and perhaps the USCIS and let them know your relationship has ended before she ever used the visa she was just granted. Then, it is out of your hands and there is nothing else you can do about it.

[St&Sv 33]

Thanks all for your responses. I have already told her about K1 and the need to marry in the US and not her country. She is blaming it on her brothers (she is from a village) and how they won't let her go alone. I told her that it's impossible for me to go to her country even for one week. She simply ended the relationship and said good luck in your life. We fought a lot before this but she would always go nutts and call me 100 times a day until we get back together. Now after she got the visa it seems it's the opposite.

At this point, I have made up my mind and I don't want her anymore. My main concern is that she would use the visa to come to the USA and live with her sister illegally. If I tell the embassy there, would they call her back and revoke the visa??

That's a shame to hear, but we have just as real relationships as everyone else on the planet and sometimes things just don't work out. Even after all the paperwork, and the finale of the first act is in front of us. If her reasons are true then I would not worry too much about her using the K1 visa to come into the country. After all her brothers wouldn't let her leave on her lonesome to you, what changes for going to her sister's instead? Though cover all your bases, and let her know that you will be contacting the USCIS ahead of time to inform them that the relationship is over, and the K1 is no longer needed.

[moemac59 192]

All you can do is contact the consulate and perhaps the USCIS and let them know your relationship has ended before she ever used the visa she was just granted. Then, it is out of your hands and there is nothing else you can do about it.

If you are concerned that you are being scammed, then I would definately follow the advice of the above post immediately. Once you have done this, then wash your hands of the whold situation and just be thankful that you may have dodged a potential bullet.

[BLAKCAJUN 25]

I met her two years ago online and decided to travel to her and meet her. After meeting her and her family, I decided to take it slowly and keep talking online. We kept talking online with skype everyday for over a year. Eight months ago I decided to start the finace papers. She was approved and got the visa few days ago. Suddenly she started demanding that i go to her country and make her a wedding even tough our agreement was that she will come here alone once she gets the visa. She is easily agitated and suddenly stopped communicating. She has a sister that lives here and I think her plan is to use the visa to come and stay with her.

What can I do now? Can I call the embassy and ask them to revoke the visa even though it's already issued and she got her passport back from the embassy?

Thanks!!

In my opinion, if she wanted to scam you she would enter the states on the K-1 visa provided by you and then dissappear to her sister without you knowing she was in the states or even marry you and wait for her status to change to leave you. Maybe she just wants a ceremony not an actual marriage in her home country to share her moment with family and friends or maybe she is getting nervous this is a big step for her.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

If you have doubts, you can call it quits now or test drive the 90 days. Every time I don't trust my gut I take it on the short end.

You and me both Sir.

When she is this close to her goal why demand the wedding all of a sudden ? That does not make sense to me at all . Why cause problems if she was really scamming you for a green card . Are you sure this is a scam ? I would make really sure before you open up pandora's box . What country is she from ?

I agree, I don't think this is a scam. Maybe the OP can leg it over there.

I'm trying to understand how demanding a wedding in her home country with her family and friends would be a way to "scam" you. I'm going to suppose she means a ceremonial wedding and not actually get officially married in her country, otherwise, like others have said, that would void the K1 visa.

Maybe what you mean is that she started becoming unreasonable as soon as she got her K1 so that you would get into a fight, so she would have an excuse to no longer have to talk to you, now that she has what she wants. But, like others have said, if she goes to the U.S on the k1 and doesn't get married within 90 days she will become out of status and have serious legal issues with her immigration status. So, either she hasn't thought this through at all or you are jumping to conclusions thinking it is a scam. If it's a scam, then it's not a very good one.

On the surface yes but some people are naive.

[kelly & venus 0]

Why you think its a scam? If she wants to marry you on her own country. Like here in the Philippines, we dont have a divorce law here, so if we get married here there is no turning back. Its a risk, we cant change it anymore. Maybe she just want to have a wedding for her friends and family, its not a demand its a request

[JRF 117]

I agree - if this is a scam it's one of the worst thought-out scams ever. Perhaps she is getting pressure from family to have a ceremony before she leaves - without understanding the potential implications on her admissability into the US. I personally wouldn't conduct a non-legal ceremony - too much risk.

My wife and I discussed both routes (K-1 vs CR-1). It was important to her family in VN that she have a traditional wedding so we went that route, even knowing it would delay her entry into the US. Don't undersestimate the influence of family in Asian culture.

[Lex Specialis 38]

If you go there and marry her, as she is asking, her K-1 will become null and void and no longer valid. You cannot enter the US with a K-1 visa if you are already married.

Absolutely correct. If she wants a wedding in her home country, she doesn't understand the conditions of a fiancee visa. She needs to be single when she enters the US, not married to you (or anyone else). As far as what her short temperdness says about her, that's a personal choice you have to make, but she is wrong on the law.

[Ismail+Cassie 36]

I also agree that you need to be careful cuz it may not be a scam. If it was a scam, she would just get over here, then start to act weird, or after she got her green card. Why would she want you as her husband even before she came to the US? Be careful us women say and do weird things, and also the fact shes from a foreign country, Who knows whats going on in the poor girls life and family right now

[julitathomas0810 30]

Thanks all for your responses. I have already told her about K1 and the need to marry in the US and not her country. She is blaming it on her brothers (she is from a village) and how they won't let her go alone. I told her that it's impossible for me to go to her country even for one week. She simply ended the relationship and said good luck in your life. We fought a lot before this but she would always go nutts and call me 100 times a day until we get back together. Now after she got the visa it seems it's the opposite.

At this point, I have made up my mind and I don't want her anymore. My main concern is that she would use the visa to come to the USA and live with her sister illegally. If I tell the embassy there, would they call her back and revoke the visa??

Did you have doubt the whole time ? Did you suspect this might be what she wanted all along ? She waited the 2 years to meet you . Then she waited another year for you to file for her . She would have just moved on to the next guy if she truly wanted to scam someone to come here . It sounds like you just had a bad relationship . I would do what you need to do to back out of this correctly . So in the future this does not come back to hurt you in a new relationship . What her true intentions are who knows , but don't look to cause her harm . That will do no good for the both of you . Will it give you satisfaction to deny her entry in the U.S.A in the future ?

[Peter_Pan 661]

Why are people telling the OP to get married in her country with the k-1 and then travel here to the US? The k-1 is for her to get married in the US, and in the US only. If they have any kind of a wedding ceremony in her country, legally binding or not, it is fraud. The best course of action, if you indeed are confident that you are being scammed, is to report it to the embassy in her home country, to USCIS, DOS, and to the dept of homeland security.

You are wrong, as long as it isn't legally binding, you can have a billion of ceremonies with a billion men and not be a bigamist.

Seems to me the OP is the one with cold feet.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Thanks all for your responses. I have already told her about K1 and the need to marry in the US and not her country. She is blaming it on her brothers (she is from a village) and how they won't let her go alone. I told her that it's impossible for me to go to her country even for one week. She simply ended the relationship and said good luck in your life. We fought a lot before this but she would always go nutts and call me 100 times a day until we get back together. Now after she got the visa it seems it's the opposite.

At this point, I have made up my mind and I don't want her anymore. My main concern is that she would use the visa to come to the USA and live with her sister illegally. If I tell the embassy there, would they call her back and revoke the visa??

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Has anyone even considered that she has already flown to the US to meet and be with her sister? And who cares about over staying when you plotted for 2 years to get on a plane to join your sister in US? She might already be here and will likely NEVER GET caught or deported. Or she could just have second thoughts...the CFO class in the Philippijnes almost changed my wife's mind about coming here. They teach Filipina's that it is very common for Americans in particular to sell their wives into sexual slavery, etc... I mean they are teaching stuff from the 1920's. She could just be scared. Hard to say if she won't talk to you but I agree with 95% of the posters here....you cannot get married, and then bring her here. Good luck and God speed, Aloha Ke Akua

[Gosia & Tito 199]

The visa was already issued right?..I guess they can get married in her country without risking the visa since it was issued..Guess it will work..Marry her in her country before flying to US..

Bad idea. You never know what can come bite you back. Even if not "registered" as other poster suggests, you are risking a lot. All it takes is a casual "yes we marry in China" during the AOS interview to get the person interviewing to declare fraud and/or misrepresentation.

K-1 is to marry in the US. You are giving USCIOS ammunition they could use agains you. If anything, the main lesson one should get form this forum is that you never ever lie or misrepresent things (on purpose) to USCIS and DOS

[julitathomas0810 30]

You are wrong, as long as it isn't legally binding, you can have a billion of ceremonies with a billion men and not be a bigamist.

Seems to me the OP is the one with cold feet.

I agree and I feel his doubt about scams was present the whole time . I pray he will not look to cause her possible harm in the future over this .