We're both in tears over this. Please help. I can't be without her.

[Ban Hammer 12,880]

How are you gonna clear out all the suggestions flying around between PM boxes?

*see post 38*

you've been here long enough to know moderation doesn't do pm boxes.

for the op, be very leery of any advice offered strictly through pm. if it's not peer reviewed in open forum, it's probably not advice you want to follow.

[Cathi 5,621]

Dude.

Read This.

http://www.londonele...elf-immigration

You fell in love with someone from a different country. So did everybody else around here. There are rules for this kind of thing. It isn't that hard if you just play by them.

awesome link, everyone beginning this process should read it.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Given our situation -- are there any special case circumstances or scenarios that allow for some sort of emergency visa or anything of the sort?

We have nowhere for her to live in Canada if I leave without her, I am the FAMILY PROVIDER.

Do one of you need a kidney or something?

I mean - seriously.

Think about what you are saying.

you've been here long enough to know moderation doesn't do pm boxes.

for the op, be very leery of any advice offered strictly through pm. if it's not peer reviewed in open forum, it's probably not advice you want to follow.

Oh yeah, I'm way way familiar with what goes on through PM boxes around here.

awesome link, everyone beginning this process should read it.

Thanks.

[Boggy1974 124]

OP, explain exactly why you and your girlfriend, or soon-to-be-wife sitting on a couch crying? Because you two have to be separated for a bit while for her petition process to play out for her to obtain an immigrant visa?

And the reason why you can't live without her just for 6months or so? How was your girlfriend surviving before you met her?

[Nina and Erwin 16]

We literally have nowhere else for her to stay.

@Harpa Timsah:

How can this be the case? I pay our bills. I sustain US. If she can't come with me, she's homeless. Is there NO way to work around this?

I am just curious? How did she manage before you? The only reason I ask, is I was in the same position with my husband and boy you should have seen the comments I got regarding this same plea here on VJ. Tip.. coming thru the ferry into Michigan is a lot less stress then Buffalo or Sarnia. Trust me I know from experience. But with a truck load at either boarder.. you will likely have trouble and questions.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

OP, explain exactly why you and your girlfriend, or soon-to-be-wife sitting on a couch crying? Because you two have to be separated for a bit while for her petition process to play out for her to obtain an immigrant visa?

And the reason why you can't live without her just for 6months or so? How was your girlfriend surviving before you met her?

Oh fiddlesticks.

Even what you are saying isn't the point.

Where do people EVER get the idea that our borders are just THAT open?

I mean, if you want to drive, you have to get a license. If you want to go to college, you have to send in an application.

I'm eight years into this whole immigration nonsense and I STILL never fail to be amazed by people who don't think there just might be RULES for this sort of thing. It was the first thing I thought of when I got serious with my husband. Oh hai - he's from ANOTHER COUNTRY! I wonder if there are RULES................

[NikLR 13,220]

Not everyone thinks that way though. Especially between Canada and the USA. My husband was surprised to learn how difficult it was to move to Canada (about a 2 year process) and how difficult it was to move here. He's used to rules and regulations, he was USAF for 8 years. But because our border is really so open, it's only been since 2009 that you've even needed a passport to visit the USA. Before anyone could just drive or fly with just regular ID. Heck in 2000 my wallet was stolen while I was doing an internship in California. My mom was able to send me a new birth certificate but that was the only ID I had for the rest of the time I was there. I answered a few extra questions at the border, had a police report of my stolen wallet, and proceeded through customs without incident.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Not everyone thinks that way though. Especially between Canada and the USA. My husband was surprised to learn how difficult it was to move to Canada (about a 2 year process) and how difficult it was to move here. He's used to rules and regulations, he was USAF for 8 years. But because our border is really so open, it's only been since 2009 that you've even needed a passport to visit the USA. Before anyone could just drive or fly with just regular ID. Heck in 2000 my wallet was stolen while I was doing an internship in California. My mom was able to send me a new birth certificate but that was the only ID I had for the rest of the time I was there. I answered a few extra questions at the border, had a police report of my stolen wallet, and proceeded through customs without incident.

IMO, the excuse that some people just don't think that way is similar to saying that something isn't a crime just because one is unaware of a law about it.

I just don't buy the fact that people can enter romantic relationships with foreign-born and not wonder if there might be some governmental hurdles to get over.

Well - I guess I shouldn't say that I don't buy it. Becuase I've been watching this kind of angst for years. I guess I should say it never fails to amaze me. I guess it's no sillier than all my friends thinking that my husband is automatically a citizen because he married one!

Still though............when something is as important as your relationship.......don't you think you should invest some brain cells into it? I mean, it's clearly important to the OP. Who should he be mad at?

*edited because I can't spell sometimes*

Edited March 13, 2013 by Rebecca Jo

[Boggy1974 124]

I am just curious? How did she manage before you? The only reason I ask, is I was in the same position with my husband and boy you should have seen the comments I got regarding this same plea here on VJ.

:thumbs: I see you're onto something very enlightening.

[NikLR 13,220]

IMO, the excuse that some people just don't think that way is similar to saying that something isn't a crime just because one is unaware of a law about it.

I just don't buy the fact that people can enter romantic relationships with foreign-born and not wonder if there might be some governmental hurdles to get over.

Well - I guess I shouldn't say that I don't buy it. Becuase I've been watching this kind of angst for years. I guess I should say it never fails to amaze me. I guess it's no sillier than all my friends thinking that my husband is automatically a citizen because he married one!

Still though............when something is as important as your relationship.......don't you think you should invest some brain cells into it? I mean, it's clearly important to the OP. Who should he be mad at?

*edited because I can't spell sometimes*

I agree that people should look into it. BUT how many people have "common sense"? I mean look at the Rick Mercer reports. He walks around Harvard, Yale and Princeton and gets students there to give congratulations to Canada for legalizing touch tone phones.... Really?

People just don't think beyond what's right in front of them. It's why people constantly ask "NOA1, what now?" "NOA2, what now?" What does this piece of paper mean etc. etc etc... Get used to it. Doesn't make it less frustrating but it is what it is.

[Nina and Erwin 16]

:thumbs: I see you're onto something very enlightening.

LOL. Wait until Boiler jumps in...

To the OP... In my experience Canada has a Social System, and if she needs assistance with housing I am sure that before you BOTH leave HER country you should start there. She may need to go back to work. She may need to work out staying with Friends. She may need to see if she can stay with MOM. You will be separated.. and she will need to survive. You seemed concerned for her.. then You may need to figure out how to afford housing in BOTH countries.

Original poster.. I am speaking from experience.. trust me when I say.. I am a single mom, thanks to our choices on how to handle this immigration situation. I am here in the US with a 2 year old and WE have to send each other money all the time back and forth until this is all over. I housed my husband in Canada for 6 months to get us through the Birth of our child. I traveled back and forth thru a Michigan / Canadian winter until 2 days before I had our daughter. All I am saying is... it wont be easy.. but you can do it. Stop crying, think logically, and figure out a means to an end. This will be over soon, and you will get thru it. But don't break the rules, figure out cheaper housing for her in Canada, and file for your visa.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I agree that people should look into it. BUT how many people have "common sense"? I mean look at the Rick Mercer reports. He walks around Harvard, Yale and Princeton and gets students there to give congratulations to Canada for legalizing touch tone phones.... Really?

People just don't think beyond what's right in front of them. It's why people constantly ask "NOA1, what now?" "NOA2, what now?" What does this piece of paper mean etc. etc etc... Get used to it. Doesn't make it less frustrating but it is what it is.

You're kidding me, right? Because people want an answer right here and right now, we are just supposed to "forgive them"? Human beings aren't suppose to be accountable for their own lives?

Life isn't like that.

LOL. Wait until Boiler jumps in...

To the OP... In my experience Canada has a Social System, and if she needs assistance with housing I am sure that before you BOTH leave HER country you should start there. She may need to go back to work. She may need to work out staying with Friends. She may need to see if she can stay with MOM. You will be separated.. and she will need to survive. You seemed concerned for her.. then You may need to figure out how to afford housing in BOTH countries.

Original poster.. I am speaking from experience.. trust me when I say.. I am a single mom, thanks to our choices on how to handle this immigration situation. I am here in the US with a 2 year old and WE have to send each other money all the time back and forth until this is all over. I housed my husband in Canada for 6 months to get us through the Birth of our child. I traveled back and forth thru a Michigan / Canadian winter until 2 days before I had our daughter. All I am saying is... it wont be easy.. but you can do it. Stop crying, think logically, and figure out a means to an end. This will be over soon, and you will get thru it. But don't break the rules, figure out cheaper housing for her in Canada, and file for your visa.

Ooooooooh.........you go girl!

[Sweetcheeksss 91]

Hey MsHogan (and all of you who are helping), sorry that I snapped. This has basically become the entire focus of our lives and it's completly f*cking freaky! I cannot even fathom the thought of L not being with me, I looked for her forever.

That's all really. I'm not one to stare at the proverbial equine present. Seriously. Sh*it is rough over here right now! Sorry, you guys are awesome.

Back on page 4 Jim apologized and *still* some people are berating and slightly mocking his naiveté. Whether you agree with him or not, he came here to get some help/answers/suggestions and as a 1st time poster, if I were him, I'd be rather put off from posting a question at Visa Journey in the future.

I remember when almost any question posed on the board (and there were some CRAZY ones) was met with kindness and assistance from more experienced board members.

I guess my point is, the guy overreacted (he and his wife are probably panicked)- he apologized, can't everyone just get over it and be just a little bit more kind?

[nolanbb 1]

I'm not sure if my situation or timeline would match what you would be facing, because I met my future Chinese wife online in January 2012. We corresponded on Skype until we finally met in June 2012 for 2 weeks. I prepared to marry her during that time, which required a lot of research to gather the proper certifications, etc. When I returned to US I submitted the I-130 forms for a visa for her and her daughter (double the paperwork and charges). They require as much proof as possible that it is a legitimate marriage. I didn't have co-mingling of finances yet, so I could only provide photos and an affidavit from my father. I also have hundreds of pages of Skype conversation printouts to bring to the interview, and I've since added her as a beneficiary on my 401K and life insurance paperwork. I submitted the required paperwork, which they received in the Vermont Service Center in August (I wish I could have been ready to submit as soon as we married in June, but the research to make sure everything was perfect was exhausting.) I'm still waiting for the second notification, 7 months later. They don't give me any hint of how close they are to my case. I just keep looking at the published USCIS timeline for I-130 submission for a spouse of a US citizen, which has been stuck on 7 months for a while in one location and in another location they publish that they are currently processing submissions in Vermont from June 4, 2012 for the last couple months. That would make it more like 9 months. And that is only the time it takes to get to the second submission of paperwork. It could be delayed further if they have questions that need to be clarified. Then I expect another month after I submit the next round of paperwork before they tell me an interview date, which I think will be about 3-4 weeks later. I'll have to quickly get a plane ticket ($) to go back to China for the interview. I did go back to China again in November for 2 more weeks, when we had a "wedding" with her friends and her mother. I wish I could have traveled there again, but I have a daughter in school and a job with 4 weeks of vacation per year. Sorry for the length of this, but it has been a long, torturous wait. We speak on Skype twice a day for hours, but it's not enough. And in the end she may still be rejected. This is just an average taste of what people go through with the US immigration process, if you want to do it legally. I hope you do your research and make the best decisions for your situation.

[islandgal 74]

Unfortunately, if you are not willing / able to put off moving to the US for a few months then a period of separation is extremely likely.

As already stated, if she pulls up to the border with a truck full of her belongings - without an immigrant visa - then there is a good chance she will be denied entry. She does not magically get a pass because she is Canadian or living with (or even married to) an American. To CBP she would merely be a Canadian citizen seeking a non-immigrant entry, and if she could not prove to their satisfaction that she would leave after her period of authorised stay expires, then a denial of entry is a strong possibility.

Get married and file the I-130 immediately, but it will take ~8 - 10 months until the visa is in her hands. During that time she could try to enter the US to stay with you for a few months, but again she may need to prove to CBP that this would be a temporary visit.

Unless someone is dying there is no way around these requirements (and even then it's iffy).

I've heard even with death on an already approved K1 visa an expedite was not granted on the Embassy side, so go figure. they couldn't care less.