My Fiancee Just Told Me She Cannot Marry Me

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Hello,

Yes you read that right, my fiancee just told me she cannot marry me... after I arrived in China to marry her as we agreed. And after I have been patiently waiting for her for over two years.

She says her father will not give his permission for our marriage, so she cannot marry me. A fantasy story, in my opinion.

So now I know I proposed to one of the insane ones. I feel like I'm watching myself in a Korean Soap Opera while in China.

I am in alot of pain but I would be in alot worse shape if I hadn't been chatting with several women online recently who have expressed interest.

I started talking with women online while in China after my fiancee started playing games and saying strange things (like she needs to get her father's permission, after he already gave it to us two years ago).

I'll still be in China for another two weeks.

So I have a couple of questions now:

1) My fiancee (ex-fiancee) recently let our K1 Fiancee Visa expire before saying we can pursue the CR-1 route, so if I find another lady I want to marry while in China now and she agrees, do I have a choice of the K1 Fiancee Visa route, or is my only option a CR-1 Marriage Visa? In other words, isn't there a period of time that needs to go by after filing one K1 Fiancee Visa before being able to file another one?

2) Is there a certain period of time that needs to pass before I would be able to file for a CR-1 Visa, considering the K1 Visa recently expired?

3) I just spent $7,000 for this trip to China. To allow myself the fewest trips to China as possible for marriage to a Chinese lady, what would be my best plan? In other words, do I try to meet with the parents of the lady I choose now? Should I propose now with a ring, or during my next trip, etc?

On the one hand I don't want to waste more time, I've already wasted over two years on this crazy lady. I also cannot afford to waste more money at this time. But on the other hand I want to make sure I don't rush things and choose another crazy lady; so I need some time to get to know the lady, and her family situation, her motivation, and so on.

notmuch88tosay

[Pinkrlion 2,607]

Hello,

Yes you read that right, my fiancee just told me she cannot marry me... after I arrived in China to marry her as we agreed. And after I have been patiently waiting for her for over two years.

She says her father will not give his permission for our marriage, so she cannot marry me. A fantasy story, in my opinion.

So now I know I proposed to one of the insane ones. I feel like I'm watching myself in a Korean Soap Opera while in China.

I am in alot of pain but I would be in alot worse shape if I hadn't been chatting with several women online recently who have expressed interest.

I started talking with women online while in China after my fiancee started playing games and saying strange things (like she needs to get her father's permission, after he already gave it to us two years ago).

I'll still be in China for another two weeks.

So I have a couple of questions now:

1) My fiancee (ex-fiancee) recently let our K1 Fiancee Visa expire before saying we can pursue the CR-1 route, so if I find another lady I want to marry while in China now and she agrees, do I have a choice of the K1 Fiancee Visa route, or is my only option a CR-1 Marriage Visa? In other words, isn't there a period of time that needs to go by after filing one K1 Fiancee Visa before being able to file another one?

2) Is there a certain period of time that needs to pass before I would be able to file for a CR-1 Visa, considering the K1 Visa recently expired?

3) I just spent $7,000 for this trip to China. To allow myself the fewest trips to China as possible for marriage to a Chinese lady, what would be my best plan? In other words, do I try to meet with the parents of the lady I choose now? Should I propose now with a ring, or during my next trip, etc?

On the one hand I don't want to waste more time, I've already wasted over two years on this crazy lady. I also cannot afford to waste more money at this time. But on the other hand I want to make sure I don't rush things and choose another crazy lady; so I need some time to get to know the lady, and her family situation, her motivation, and so on.

notmuch88tosay

First of all, why are you seeking to marry anyone just because you are in China, and do not want to spend time developing a relationship. Relationships are a chance at love, not a guarantee, when you find the right person in the US, or abroad, you face the same challenges. She may stay or she may leave.

1 - How did she let it expire, if you are the petitioner? When did it expire? Another petition will still be questioned by USCIS.

2 - Call USCIS to ask this question

3 - As the petitioner, that is a part of this process, if they are not able to obtain a tourist visa, then you are having to spend the cash.

[C&Q 25]

Ur fiancee just told u she doesn't want / can't marry u for whatever reason and now ur trying to marry someone else while in China? I hope this is a joke.

[Enigma11561 336]

First, the K1 expired. You can file for another one, and you may need a waiver to do this,but really be prepared to answer some tough questions, ESPECIALLY if you are going to take all of 2 weeks to find another woman, fall in love, make sure she is the right person this time, and all that jazz. Personally, this is a VERY wrong approach to take. You are not the first, nor the last to find out at the last minute this was not going to work put. On the other hand, be thankful that, like some others, you find out after she is here, you have been married for awhile and then..boom.

You knew this was an expensive journey, and a long one.If an Asian woman is the only thing important to you, getting "another" one in 2 weeks to save money and time,you really need to rethink your motives cuz you WILL be back here at some point again telling us some other horror story. Just my two rubles.

[Darnell 8,478]

1) My fiancee (ex-fiancee) recently let our K1 Fiancee Visa expire before saying we can pursue the CR-1 route, so if I find another lady I want to marry while in China now and she agrees, do I have a choice of the K1 Fiancee Visa route, or is my only option a CR-1 Marriage Visa? In other words, isn't there a period of time that needs to go by after filing one K1 Fiancee Visa before being able to file another one?

2) Is there a certain period of time that needs to pass before I would be able to file for a CR-1 Visa, considering the K1 Visa recently expired?

3) I just spent $7,000 for this trip to China. To allow myself the fewest trips to China as possible for marriage to a Chinese lady, what would be my best plan? In other words, do I try to meet with the parents of the lady I choose now? Should I propose now with a ring, or during my next trip, etc?

notmuch88tosay

1. IMBRA regs say if you file MORE than 2 I-129Fs within a 2 year span, the THIRD one ya file must contain a letter requesting a waiver from IMBRA. You don't meet the criteria, based on YOUR COUNT. So, you can swing either way, K-1 or CR-1, at the moment, with no worries.

2. NO.

3. That's a hard one to call, for me. There are benefits regardless of which path you take, and there are pitfalls regardless of which path you take. IMO, getting permission should be a 30 minute (at most) thing, if it's a thing at all. To be certain, if you seek a woman that is already divorced, this stigma of 'asking permission' is much less.

[Love's JAA 100]

Hello,

Yes you read that right, my fiancee just told me she cannot marry me... after I arrived in China to marry her as we agreed. And after I have been patiently waiting for her for over two years.

She says her father will not give his permission for our marriage, so she cannot marry me. A fantasy story, in my opinion.

So now I know I proposed to one of the insane ones. I feel like I'm watching myself in a Korean Soap Opera while in China.

I am in alot of pain but I would be in alot worse shape if I hadn't been chatting with several women online recently who have expressed interest.

I started talking with women online while in China after my fiancee started playing games and saying strange things (like she needs to get her father's permission, after he already gave it to us two years ago).

I'll still be in China for another two weeks.

So I have a couple of questions now:

1) My fiancee (ex-fiancee) recently let our K1 Fiancee Visa expire before saying we can pursue the CR-1 route, so if I find another lady I want to marry while in China now and she agrees, do I have a choice of the K1 Fiancee Visa route, or is my only option a CR-1 Marriage Visa? In other words, isn't there a period of time that needs to go by after filing one K1 Fiancee Visa before being able to file another one?

2) Is there a certain period of time that needs to pass before I would be able to file for a CR-1 Visa, considering the K1 Visa recently expired?

3) I just spent $7,000 for this trip to China. To allow myself the fewest trips to China as possible for marriage to a Chinese lady, what would be my best plan? In other words, do I try to meet with the parents of the lady I choose now? Should I propose now with a ring, or during my next trip, etc?

On the one hand I don't want to waste more time, I've already wasted over two years on this crazy lady. I also cannot afford to waste more money at this time. But on the other hand I want to make sure I don't rush things and choose another crazy lady; so I need some time to get to know the lady, and her family situation, her motivation, and so on.

notmuch88tosay

You calling your former fiancee crazy, but by your words and purported actions, she seems to be acting prudently. You should take a break and do some soul searching in my opinion. Are you Chinese yourself? Why are you in need of a Chinese spouse. Aside from slowing down on your rapid fire replacement of a fiancee, you should stop and look a little farther afield at the possibilities out there. For me, I was married to a Chinese, and after our long unhappy marriage came to an end, I have found a lovely and warm Filipina lady. We share the same religion, and related values. I cannot say that about my former Chinese spouse. I could not see eye to eye with her. She just did her own thing without regard to anyone else. Not saying you can't find a good one, just wondering why so intent on that particular ethnicity.

There might not be any restriction on filing another petition so quickly, but I would think that possibly the CO might wonder about that when he sees the file.

In summary, please slow it down and think about it for awhile. She just called off the marriage and you're already communicating with other girls. She probably sensed something awry. That's my two cents.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

First of all, why are you seeking to marry anyone just because you are in China, and do not want to spend time developing a relationship. Relationships are a chance at love, not a guarantee, when you find the right person in the US, or abroad, you face the same challenges. She may stay or she may leave.

1 - How did she let it expire, if you are the petitioner? When did it expire? Another petition will still be questioned by USCIS.

2 - Call USCIS to ask this question

3 - As the petitioner, that is a part of this process, if they are not able to obtain a tourist visa, then you are having to spend the cash.

I was in China three years ago, I met alot of ladies online and several ladies offline. A few of them are still available and online and have contacted me just recently after they saw me online recently.

I have already developed relationships with those ladies in the past.

You are right about relationships, I need to slow down now; after my heart got ripped out of my chest my thoughts were all over the place.

Thanks for your support,

notmuch88tosay

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hello,

Yes you read that right, my fiancee just told me she cannot marry me... after I arrived in China to marry her as we agreed. And after I have been patiently waiting for her for over two years.

She says her father will not give his permission for our marriage, so she cannot marry me. A fantasy story, in my opinion.

So now I know I proposed to one of the insane ones. I feel like I'm watching myself in a Korean Soap Opera while in China.

I am in alot of pain but I would be in alot worse shape if I hadn't been chatting with several women online recently who have expressed interest.

I started talking with women online while in China after my fiancee started playing games and saying strange things (like she needs to get her father's permission, after he already gave it to us two years ago).

I'll still be in China for another two weeks.

So I have a couple of questions now:

1) My fiancee (ex-fiancee) recently let our K1 Fiancee Visa expire before saying we can pursue the CR-1 route, so if I find another lady I want to marry while in China now and she agrees, do I have a choice of the K1 Fiancee Visa route, or is my only option a CR-1 Marriage Visa? In other words, isn't there a period of time that needs to go by after filing one K1 Fiancee Visa before being able to file another one?

2) Is there a certain period of time that needs to pass before I would be able to file for a CR-1 Visa, considering the K1 Visa recently expired?

3) I just spent $7,000 for this trip to China. To allow myself the fewest trips to China as possible for marriage to a Chinese lady, what would be my best plan? In other words, do I try to meet with the parents of the lady I choose now? Should I propose now with a ring, or during my next trip, etc?

On the one hand I don't want to waste more time, I've already wasted over two years on this crazy lady. I also cannot afford to waste more money at this time. But on the other hand I want to make sure I don't rush things and choose another crazy lady; so I need some time to get to know the lady, and her family situation, her motivation, and so on.

notmuch88tosay

How much to jump on a flight to Kiev?

Be happy she flaked out before you got married. Less pain and suffering that way and $7000 is cheap, besides, you got a trip to China out of the deal.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

First, the K1 expired. You can file for another one, and you may need a waiver to do this,but really be prepared to answer some tough questions, ESPECIALLY if you are going to take all of 2 weeks to find another woman, fall in love, make sure she is the right person this time, and all that jazz. Personally, this is a VERY wrong approach to take. You are not the first, nor the last to find out at the last minute this was not going to work put. On the other hand, be thankful that, like some others, you find out after she is here, you have been married for awhile and then..boom.

You knew this was an expensive journey, and a long one.If an Asian woman is the only thing important to you, getting "another" one in 2 weeks to save money and time,you really need to rethink your motives cuz you WILL be back here at some point again telling us some other horror story. Just my two rubles.

Hi Enigma11561,

Yes, you are right, I am rushing things after just having my heart ripped out. I need to slow down a little.

But I am not necessarily trying to find love in two weeks. I was in China three years ago, I met alot of ladies online and several ladies offline. I have already developed relationships with those ladies in the past.

And when a Chinese lady writes you online and asks you if you would consider someone like her for marriage, what should I say, "Uh, no, I think I want to take things slow and develop a relationship. Let's be friends for a couple of years first, okay? You promise you won't see any other guys while I'm waiting for you? And I won't consider sex before marriage if you were thinking of that."

notmuch88tosay

[notmuch88tosay 21]

1. IMBRA regs say if you file MORE than 2 I-129Fs within a 2 year span, the THIRD one ya file must contain a letter requesting a waiver from IMBRA. You don't meet the criteria, based on YOUR COUNT. So, you can swing either way, K-1 or CR-1, at the moment, with no worries.

2. NO.

3. That's a hard one to call, for me. There are benefits regardless of which path you take, and there are pitfalls regardless of which path you take. IMO, getting permission should be a 30 minute (at most) thing, if it's a thing at all. To be certain, if you seek a woman that is already divorced, this stigma of 'asking permission' is much less.

Hi Darnell,

Thanks so much for your response and for the info.

I always appreciate your help. And you have helped me alot.

Take care,

notmuch88tosay

[We Are The Art 46]

SMH

[notmuch88tosay 21]

You calling your former fiancee crazy, but by your words and purported actions, she seems to be acting prudently. You should take a break and do some soul searching in my opinion. Are you Chinese yourself? Why are you in need of a Chinese spouse. Aside from slowing down on your rapid fire replacement of a fiancee, you should stop and look a little farther afield at the possibilities out there. For me, I was married to a Chinese, and after our long unhappy marriage came to an end, I have found a lovely and warm Filipina lady. We share the same religion, and related values. I cannot say that about my former Chinese spouse. I could not see eye to eye with her. She just did her own thing without regard to anyone else. Not saying you can't find a good one, just wondering why so intent on that particular ethnicity.

There might not be any restriction on filing another petition so quickly, but I would think that possibly the CO might wonder about that when he sees the file.

In summary, please slow it down and think about it for awhile. She just called off the marriage and you're already communicating with other girls. She probably sensed something awry. That's my two cents.

Hi Love's JAA,

Thanks for your reply. Yes, you are right, I should slow down and think on things a little.

As far as me calling my fiancee crazy and her being the one acting prudently... based on all that you know about this relationship, you mgiht be off a bit on that one. Last night she told me she could NOT marry me. This morning I get a message from her saying:

"You want to get married?"

And you don't know all the other things she's said and done and not done over the last two and a half years, do you? I do.

Thanks for the information provided, I appreciate it.

notmuch88tosay

How much to jump on a flight to Kiev?

Be happy she flaked out before you got married. Less pain and suffering that way and $7000 is cheap, besides, you got a trip to China out of the deal.

Thanks for your support Gary and Alla,

I do appreciate it.

Take care,

notmuch88tosay

[notmuch88tosay 21]

I appreciate the people who have supported me during this tough time.

As for the rest...

So let's see, I have the choice of hanging out with guys on this forum who want to hit someone when they're down, instead of supporting them; or the choice of hanging out with gorgeous Chinese women... that's a tough choice.

Gotta go. See ya.

notmuch88tosay

[Peter_Pan 661]

Someone just dodged the bullet.

Edited October 27, 2012 by Kathryn41
edited to remove personal attack

[gzbabi 2]

notmuch88tosay

My advice is, don't rush it if you don't need to. I have been through a series of crazy relationships before finding my wife. Truth is, that in the beginning all seems more ok, but after a while the real person comes out. Some other have more luck, a friend of mine found his wife also online, met quickly and then got married on K1. They are now married 8 years.

Issue is, you just don't know what person you meet. I learned, that if there is just the slightest sign of doubt, better move on. Thats actually also true the other way around. My wife best friend (also chinese girl) had a few western prospectives. Some of them also turned also out to be crazy. She kept on searching and found her husband where they live together now and expect their first child.

Your heart had been ripped out, but better now then later when its too late.

Good luck