My Fiancee Just Told Me She Cannot Marry Me

[Wakey86 12]

Someone just dodged the bullet.

Edited October 27, 2012 by Kathryn41
edited to remove personal attack in quote

[GrayL 47]

While I'm not going to push judgement on you, because I nor does anyone else here know any more than the small snippet of your life you just shared with us, I will say that the reactions of people on here are somewhat fair given the information you provided.

My advice for the nice, beautiful (and hopefully not crazy ) girl you do make your wife and hope to bring back to the US, is to keep in mind how your story will look to the USCIS, who will have their own opinion on your story, and ultimate have your balls in their hands, so to speak.

While you may have known these girls for a long time (which is completely understandable), you should think about how this will play out at K-1/AOS interviews.

"How did you guys meet?" Will be one of the questions you will be asked. Think about how your decisions will eventually be seen from a third person, who doesn't know all the ins and outs of your relationships.

Perhaps give yourself some time to collect yourself before making any life-long decisions buddy. If you find a girl while you're over there, and you fall in love then that love will conquer time and money and all those other materialistic things. No need to rush into anything, let life (and love) happen as it should, and certainly not let materialistic things dictate your path.

Best of luck to you, sorry to hear about your sudden altercation, I hope everything works out great for you in the end.

Edited October 27, 2012 by GrayL

[dan_ling 6]

My brother went through almost the same as you but different. He had been talking to a few women in the same city as it were and he had his affidavit of single status to marry the girl. When he arrived she was nothing like what was posted on her profile so he paid for her night in the hotel along with her translator and said it was over because she had lied about everything. He ended up meeting his backup girl and spent the next week and a half with her. He came back to the US and talked for a few months but nothing came of it.

If it was me I would meet with your backup but do nothing on this visit until you have spent more time getting to know her. It would look funny for anyone reviewing your case if you could not show proof you had been communicating on a daily basis and for a short period of time before you got married. I had been following your path and there were a few people that had said that maybe you should move on to someone else as this girl was a bit wishy-washy about her decision.

Good luck on the next one.

[MuDelphi 159]

Or the OP could just try to meet someone in his own city in the USA? Why is it so imperative to meet a Chinese woman? And where on earth did you book your hotels for the trip to cost seven grand?

[Kathryn41 3,205]

One post has been removed for violating TOS and 2 posts have been edited to remove a personal attack, also violating TOS. Regardless of provocation, perceived or actual, you do not have the right to attack other Visa Journey members

[Pitaya 2,576]

OP: Happy trails…..

[garfield529 47]

I supposed that I have two thoughts to add, having been in a successful relationship with my wife, who happens to be from China. The train wrecks, blow-ups, ect. that I have seen and read about tend to be a result of guys who fall head long into these online dating sites. Again, not judging those sites but there is anecdotal support for this. I really don't know how you two originally met, so I won't assume anything, yet the relationships that do work tend to be those that have a more traditional period of courtship (which can be done online with the right maturity level). With that said, if you go looking for a wife in China you will find a lot of lady-players among the flowers, especially if they are over 25-30 as this is when they fall into the 'left-overs' category. Do you really want someone just looking for an out?? Whatever your reasoning, the path you are on strongly predicts that you are going to have a lot of troubles. That was point one.

Point two: if you do find a good, solid woman from China...never let her know that you were shopping like at a meat shop. Be honest about your past, but you will lose a lot of face in her mind if she feels like a fish at market. Unless you are looking for that kind of woman, you know, the ones who want to shop on TaoBao all day and always eat out. Ultimately, good luck, but think about what you want and communicate openly and clearly.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

One post has been removed for violating TOS and 2 posts have been edited to remove a personal attack, also violating TOS. Regardless of provocation, perceived or actual, you do not have the right to attack other Visa Journey members

Oh I get it, so they're allowed to hit me, but I'm not allowed to hit them back? Well that makes sense and sounds like alot of fun.

notmuch88tosay

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Oh I get it, so they're allowed to hit me, but I'm not allowed to hit them back? Well that makes sense and sounds like alot of fun.

notmuch88tosay

No one is allowed to 'hit' anyone. If you find a post inappropriate click on the report button and one of the moderators will check it out and take appropriate action, if required. The problem with 'hitting back' is that you then become just as guilty as the original poster and also get to 'enjoy' the consequences.

Edited October 28, 2012 by Kathryn41

[bigdog 376]

OP: Happy trails…..

:thumbs:

[notmuch88tosay 21]

No one is allowed to 'hit' anyone. If you find a post inappropriate click on the report button and one of the moderators will check it out and take appropriate action, if required. The problem with 'hitting back' is that you then become just as guilty as the original poster and also get to 'enjoy' the consequences.

So if Iran were to strike the U.S., the U.S. would be 'guilty' to hit Iran back? And they should suffer consequences for doing so?

notmuch88tosay

[Kathryn41 3,205]

So if Iran were to strike the U.S., the U.S. would be 'guilty' to hit Iran back? And they should suffer consequences for doing so?

notmuch88tosay

If Iran and the US chose to become members of Visa Journey - and by doing so they agree to abide by the TOS http://www.visajourn...m/content/terms as all members do - then if they chose to make attacks on each other, they would by guilty of violating the Terms of Service. Depending on the degree of violation, they would first be warned - as you have been - not to violate the TOS, or if their violation were more egregious, they could expect a stronger response than just a warning. If they failed to abide by the warning(s) and continued to violate the TOS, then they could expect to experience the consequences of such violations and would probably find their accounts suspended for increasing amounts of time. Eventually, they would find their accounts and their IP addresses banned. The same rules would apply to both accounts just like they do for any other member of Visa Journey. If only one account violated TOS, only one account would suffer the consequences. If the other account retaliated and violated TOS, it would also suffer the consequences.

Since my authority as a moderator is only within the venue of Visa Journey and the Terms of Service that apply to Visa Journey, my comments apply to Visa Journey and its members. You may wish to explore the 'macrocosm of cause and effect' on your own, but I am not going to participate in a discussion with you about what happens outside of Visa Journey. As a member of Visa Journey you agreed to abide by the TOS when you became a member. As a member of Visa Journey you can expect consequences if you choose not to abide by the TOS. The choice is yours. If you choose wisely, you will enjoy an unrestricted participation. If you choose poorly, you can expect to have your participation restricted in response to the degree of your violations. If you continue to violate TOS long enough or seriously enough, you won't have to worry about the TOS anymore because the account would be banned and you would no longer be here.

It is really very simple. You get to be held responsible for your words and actions.

Kathryn

Lead Moderator,

VJ Moderation Team

Edited October 28, 2012 by Kathryn41