Woman with K1 visa wants to divorce and marry me

[pieroot 43]

sorry, echoes of everyone's else comments, not a wise choice.

[james&olya 1,121]

There is a way to make this work from a legal standpoint but you must question whether it is wise or morally correct to do so. She is probably close to getting her AOS. If you cool it for now or if she honestly were to make another attempt to salvage her marriage with counselling, etc (assuming she really did enter into it with honest intent) then if divorce were to occur anyway she can then file on her own for ROC based on good-faith entry into her marriage. You would then be free to continue your relationship with her and to marry if you want with no deadlines.

The real question you should have is whether this would be honest on your part and on hers. A marriage based on dishonesty, deceit, and infidelity at its outset may be doomed! We don't know your details and I will concede there may be extenuating circumstances that might justify what you are doing. A suggestion. Go to your clergy-person and be totally honest there. If you can do that and you get support to continue then maybe you have a chance. If you find yourself unable to do that then you are probably headed for a real disaster!

[Moomin 292]

There is a way to make this work from a legal standpoint but you must question whether it is wise or morally correct to do so. She is probably close to getting her AOS. If you cool it for now or if she honestly were to make another attempt to salvage her marriage with counselling, etc (assuming she really did enter into it with honest intent) then if divorce were to occur anyway she can then file on her own for ROC based on good-faith entry into her marriage. You would then be free to continue your relationship with her and to marry if you want with no deadlines.

The real question you should have is whether this would be honest on your part and on hers. A marriage based on dishonesty, deceit, and infidelity at its outset may be doomed! We don't know your details and I will concede there may be extenuating circumstances that might justify what you are doing. A suggestion. Go to your clergy-person and be totally honest there. If you can do that and you get support to continue then maybe you have a chance. If you find yourself unable to do that then you are probably headed for a real disaster!

Your scenario may be plausible however a few things to take into consideration(nothing is bulletproof here, right? )

Close or not, the current husband may pull the affidavit of support if she/he wants to divorce. While it's a sad situation for OP, I'd advise the current husband to pull the i-864, and I'd advise OP to do the exact same thing if he ever ended up in a situation like this. Been in the country 6 months offers only a little info. For all we know, they could've submitted AOS a month ago.

[MIBEN 83]

Mmmm I can only say that there are three sides to every story. Her story, the husband's story, and the truth. Sorry no room in there for other parties. I say proceed with caution you have gotten very good advice from others.

Good luck,

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Honestly you havent even known each other for more than 6 months and you were both just in a serious relationship! Why is marriage even the thing to ne discussing right now?!

Because, and I suspect, it is the only way to stay in the US.

I wager if OP was an undocumented Togolese she wouldn't have given him the time of the day.

Edited September 6, 2012 by Gowon

[Johna 0]

OK everyone, I get it. She is a horrible person because something didn't work out as planned.

Anybody I meet could potentially only be with me for money. Even US citizens. There is basically a 50% chance in any relationship. I am perfectly aware.

I will tell her that the best way is go go back. Thanks again for talking me into doing it the right way.

[epsonderby 85]

OK everyone, I get it. She is a horrible person because something didn't work out as planned.

Anybody I meet could potentially only be with me for money. Even US citizens. There is basically a 50% chance in any relationship. I am perfectly aware.

I will tell her that the best way is go go back. Thanks again for talking me into doing it the right way.

A US citizen wouldn't be with you for the status they derive through marrying you. Just something to consider - it's not always about money, there are other material benefits.

You should definitely do what you think is best and I hope it all works out for you.

[brett and alma 12]

The girl that you now want to marry has not been here long enough to establish she has been in a good-faith marriage. How will she get her green card if she is not in love with her husband, but instead is in love with you? Her husband is her sponsor, and is the only one who can be, and you can never be her sponsor unless she goes back to her country and starts the whole process all over again. At any rate, the fact that she came here and then misused the visa will show up again if she is later petitioned by you. Anyone, correct me if I am wrong.

you are correct......

[Moomin 292]

OK everyone, I get it. She is a horrible person because something didn't work out as planned.

Anybody I meet could potentially only be with me for money. Even US citizens. There is basically a 50% chance in any relationship. I am perfectly aware.

I will tell her that the best way is go go back. Thanks again for talking me into doing it the right way.

Nobody is saying she's a horrible person. Her actions are her actions alone but you need to know what you're getting into. Anyone who's violating terms of service on VJ usually has their post removed, that includes attacking you verbally. However fact is that you asked just how complicated this would be. Your headline for the topic seems to imply that she wants to marry you as if she suggested it to you. And even though it might be genuine you still have to watch your next steps for the sake of your future together and not have any or too many red flags. None of us know which country she originates from. Some countries are worse going through than others when it comes to immigration.

Yes, potentially. But a US citizen does not have to go through this process and have somebody else vouch for them through a contract with the US government.

a question though - will she still go through with a divorce if you wish to not get married?

[Shiobhan 235]

Dont want to judge , but Fishy Fishy......will get Messy Messy, even if real how do U trust this person? tch tch

[pieroot 43]

OK everyone, I get it. She is a horrible person because something didn't work out as planned.

Anybody I meet could potentially only be with me for money. Even US citizens. There is basically a 50% chance in any relationship. I am perfectly aware.

I will tell her that the best way is go go back. Thanks again for talking me into doing it the right way.

Well, we don't know how and why your gf's marriage is not working out so far. We certainly don't know your gf or her character, and she's not a horrible person for her marriage not working out as planned. But in life, it's always best to finish something before starting something else up. Just for your sake, it would be advisable for her to divorce her husband first and do what she's gotta do, then if you guys still want to be together after that is done, then you can go ahead and pursue the relationship.

[Xanax 349]

I really hope things work out for you.

What did she say when you told her she had to go home and you would refile?

People here are not trying to insult you or her , but here we see stories daily that mimic parts of yours and generally someone gets hurt and it sounds like if this went south, that would be you

If this woman really loves you, great, but, in knowing her for only 6 months and only knowing her while she was married , how can you know her intentions were/ are pure? For myself, I would not talk to another man in an intimate way if I was married, even if I was unhappy. I believe it is not right. I also would not want to jump straight into another marriage if my first was failing, even if I had to leave the US. Marriage is meant to be forever. You are not supposed to be thinking, well I have a 50/50 chance... At least at the start, right? You are supposed to think, I am the 50% who will make it, without a doubt!

[Cathi 5,613]

OK...I don't care if I get thread banned. Cases like this are the reason immigration is so difficult for people with BONAFIDE marriages and relationships to get through this broken system of ours. I will be the one to pass judgement. You just withdrew a petition for K1, now you're in "love" with a woman who has barely been married on a k1 to a different man and you want advice from those of us who would do anything to have our SO with us??? Those of us who have done everything legally, who love and miss our SO. Who have been separated for months, some couples for years. Couples like my husband and I, who did everything by the book,went through the entire process start to finish only to be told that we are in the black hole of administrative processing, we have to wait until the process is done. It has already been 2 months since we have been put in AP, and it could be months and months more before his visa is issued, we just don't know. We have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on travel expenses for me to go to see him every 3 or 4 months just so we can spend a few weeks together as a married couple in the same country, countless hours on skype and msn, phone and texting. the list goes on and on. I wouldn't trade one minute of it, because my husband and I know in the end we WILL be reunited, that we have a real and true marriage and we love each other, and that all of the stress and pain and worry of being apart will have been worth it. Your whole story is a hot mess and exactly the reason it is so difficult for the rest of us. I said what a lot of people here are thinking. Sorry for the rant people, I am just so tired of reading these stories, I really really am.

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

OK...I don't care if I get thread banned. Cases like this are the reason immigration is so difficult for people with BONAFIDE marriages and relationships to get through this broken system of ours. I will be the one to pass judgement. You just withdrew a petition for K1, now you're in "love" with a woman who has barely been married on a k1 to a different man and you want advice from those of us who would do anything to have our SO with us??? Those of us who have done everything legally, who love and miss our SO. Who have been separated for months, some couples for years. Couples like my husband and I, who did everything by the book,went through the entire process start to finish only to be told that we are in the black hole of administrative processing, we have to wait until the process is done. It has already been 2 months since we have been put in AP, and it could be months and months more before his visa is issued, we just don't know. We have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on travel expenses for me to go to see him every 3 or 4 months just so we can spend a few weeks together as a married couple in the same country, countless hours on skype and msn, phone and texting. the list goes on and on. I wouldn't trade one minute of it, because my husband and I know in the end we WILL be reunited, that we have a real and true marriage and we love each other, and that all of the stress and pain and worry of being apart will have been worth it. Your whole story is a hot mess and exactly the reason it is so difficult for the rest of us. I said what a lot of people here are thinking. Sorry for the rant people, I am just so tired of reading these stories, I really really am.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!i respect you for being braver than us and SAY IT! so many stories, so many friends i made here on VJ that have been through hell just to be with their beloved. seeing one woman marring someone just to start cheating on the guy few months after is despicable. don't get married if you don't know the person for God's sake. my friend's husband here on VJ gave up on his family just to be with the woman he loves (im sorry J if you see it, but you're a great example). me and my husband have been apart since we were 15 and got married at 21!!!!!. thousands and thousands of dollars on travel and fees, family hate, and homeless for months just to be happy in the end just him, me and our dog without any help from anyone. in the end immigration will be made much harder because of this type of people and so many couples will have to go through much more BS than me , you or other people in the past. now get me threat banned, i don't care

[ClaireGio 35]

People are too nice in these forums. It is Clear to anyone with a brain that the woman is seeking any possible way to remain in the US, as her husband has discovered she is a scammer. And yes, that is the reason these petitions take so long. Bloody scammers!