Calling it Quits

[sjames4 4]

I have been on GC for last 5 years. I am not planning on applying for citizenship for personal reason. I got my GC thru my wife. Our relationship has been going on and off. We live in a rented house and own a car. We have joint accounts, have been on a few vacations. However, lately, things are not working out for us. She has been threatening me that she is going to call USCIS and report that I married her only for GC. We have had fights from 2nd year ( before my GC was approved )on and off. We did have intimacy issues between us. We also have a few financial issues that are causing a toll on the marriage. Now she is threatening me every time we fight that she is going to call USCIS and report that the marriage was fake.

Not sure if anyone has been in this situation, but I feel pretty disgusted right now. I just want to pay off the loan and finish my schooling. What do you guys suggest I do ?

[Karee 4,190]

I have been on GC for last 5 years. I am not planning on applying for citizenship for personal reason. I got my GC thru my wife. Our relationship has been going on and off. We live in a rented house and own a car. We have joint accounts, have been on a few vacations. However, lately, things are not working out for us. She has been threatening me that she is going to call USCIS and report that I married her only for GC. We have had fights from 2nd year ( before my GC was approved )on and off. We did have intimacy issues between us. We also have a few financial issues that are causing a toll on the marriage. Now she is threatening me every time we fight that she is going to call USCIS and report that the marriage was fake.

Not sure if anyone has been in this situation, but I feel pretty disgusted right now. I just want to pay off the loan and finish my schooling. What do you guys suggest I do ?

Do you have a 10 year green card? I assume you do since you've had it for 5 years. There's pretty much nothing she can do.

[Anh map 2,098]

I have been on GC for last 5 years. I am not planning on applying for citizenship for personal reason. I got my GC thru my wife. Our relationship has been going on and off. We live in a rented house and own a car. We have joint accounts, have been on a few vacations. However, lately, things are not working out for us. She has been threatening me that she is going to call USCIS and report that I married her only for GC. We have had fights from 2nd year ( before my GC was approved )on and off. We did have intimacy issues between us. We also have a few financial issues that are causing a toll on the marriage. Now she is threatening me every time we fight that she is going to call USCIS and report that the marriage was fake.

Not sure if anyone has been in this situation, but I feel pretty disgusted right now. I just want to pay off the loan and finish my schooling. What do you guys suggest I do ?

A person "reporting" something like that is fairly empty unless they can offer proof that it is true. The accusation follow up would also include an investigation of her "complicity" in the fraud. Likely she hasn't thought about that aspect.

Personally, I think that is one of the worst things that a spouse can say when having a disagreement.

If the relationship ends there will be zero immigration repercussions.

Divorce happens. It's no fun. But it is survivable.

[Moomin 292]

A person "reporting" something like that is fairly empty unless they can offer proof that it is true. The accusation follow up would also include an investigation of her "complicity" in the fraud. Likely she hasn't thought about that aspect.

Personally, I think that is one of the worst things that a spouse can say when having a disagreement.

If the relationship ends there will be zero immigration repercussions.

Divorce happens. It's no fun. But it is survivable.

Utterly agree. Don't pull the married-for-greencard when being the USC or the i'll-just-go-home-and-never-come-back card when being the non-USC in an arguement. It's simply not justifiable. Not only is it outright mean, it rarely holds water and when there's nothing to back up the statement, then your wife really needs to re-evaluate her choice of words and actions, especially when dealing with USCIS. Falsely accusing you of something isn't really the best move, and it's a waste of USCIS' time, and it's a waste of time for people waiting for a decision on their case when there's no truth to the claim.

[Newbie608 103]

If you have a 10 yrs GC, then there's absolutely nothing she can do. She threatens you because thats her way of controlling you and to stay with her but if you are unhappy, what's the worth.?

[Xanax 349]

Being together for 5 years I think it is highly unlikely fraud will be able to be established, especially with the co-mingling you have described.

[kennym 275]

what should you do?

Well, you have a few options..

Option 1 - You can work out a way to be a team

Option 2 - you can divorce

Option 3 - Do nothing

Aside from that, what other options do you feel you have?

I guess, I dont understand the question... You seemingly have a wife who plays head games, and it makes you unhappy.. You say finances are causing stress.. well me too.. but we work together, or not.. That's fairly simple..

Stay together and change things, stay together and dont change things, or dont stay together...

this is a immigration forum, and we lack tha ability to provide specific advise about how to fix relationships.. As an immigration forum, we cant fix what is broke being we dont know you, we can make suggestions, but it's meaningless, since we dont know you.. all we can do is give general advice..

fix it, or don't fix it...

Does that clear up your options?

Edited August 22, 2012 by kennym

[sjames4 4]

Thanks for the response guys.

Kennym....I have tried to work it out, it doesnt work. My wife refuses to work and I can't make her look for work. I sometimes pick up a second job just to make sure we are doing alright.

She threatens to report me as a verbal abuser ( even though I feel like it . Even amazon.com doesn't have a single decent book for abused guys ).

Newbie608/Xanax... like your name. Yes, we have our finances co-mingled, but we do have our own personal accounts. Most of our money / stocks etc are in joint accounts.

Anh... she is banking on the fact that we did not have intimacy for an extended period of time to accuse me.

Karee... Yes, I have a 10 year GC. I still regret getting it from her. I've never heard the end of it.

I am going to talk to a lawyer to look at various options. Divorce is a horrible horrible thing and now I know what people go through.

[Darnell 8,478]

If you can get her to sign a post-nuptial agreement that includes 29 sessions of coitus per week, I sense your problems with your wife will dissipate.

[Sandra G. 5,050]

It seems you got married with a spoiled brat. Life is way to short to spend it in poor relationship. Just be careful with this kind of woman. I believe this kind of brat is capable to call the cops and tell them that you abused her etc...I would leave her asap. Regarding immigration you are good, don't worry about it.Good luck.

[Xanax 349]

If you can get her to sign a post-nuptial agreement that includes 29 sessions of coitus per week, I sense your problems with your wife will dissipate.

Lol.

[Newbie608 103]

It seems you got married with a spoiled brat. Life is way to short to spend it in poor relationship. Just be careful with this kind of woman. I believe this kind of brat is capable to call the cops and tell them that you abused her etc...I would leave her asap. Regarding immigration you are good, don't worry about it.Good luck.

I like the term "Spoiled Brat" too funny. Leaving her should be easy assuming there's no kids involved

[Shiobhan 235]

Empty threat after 5 yrs, they may lock her up more for stupidity, It cant fly..........a whole lot of knocking boots must have down even if its now only twice a yr.....its been consumated in good faith..............file for your divorce and citizenship the same time U earned both after 5 yrs

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Being together for 5 years I think it is highly unlikely fraud will be able to be established, especially with the co-mingling you have described.

Exactly, though my Ex Wife pulled the same threat even though we were married for 14 years and have 4 kids

I think it's just a weak attempt of a control mechanism.

[Boiler 45,656]

She would need hard evidence.

I am sure they get many many reports from spoilt USC's who want them to remove their dirty linen.