culture difference, daily life

[Tinchen_ 21]

Yeah, thats rude. What planet did your husband come from? That is not a culture difference. I would not agree to disagree on that. I would not do that but if I did the reaction would be predictable..."Turn off your phone, I am your wife" Which means, basically, "I ....(do things for you that no one else does)... you will give me respect"

I find the cultural differences to be interesting. Oh, and take off your shoes. Thats what it says under the avatar of Alla...so I don't forget.

yeah right its rude. we talked about it. he toned it down. like not anymore when we eat or do something together, but once a while the topic comes back up. like im a tech guy i need my phone and that .

hahah i like ur ( i do thing for you that no one else does) i really like that,gonna use that nxt time ,. thanks

so you have to take ur shoes off every time u come to house??? its cute she put it under the avatar so that u dont forget, really cute.love it

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

yeah right its rude. we talked about it. he toned it down. like not anymore when we eat or do something together, but once a while the topic comes back up. like im a tech guy i need my phone and that .

hahah i like ur ( i do thing for you that no one else does) i really like that,gonna use that nxt time ,. thanks

so you have to take ur shoes off every time u come to house??? its cute she put it under the avatar so that u dont forget, really cute.love it

Oh yeah, I even built a special place in the garage to remove the shoes and put them in a rack and put slippers on, kind of a small "mud room"(no bare feet either) Yeah, big Russian/Ukrainian taboo, no shoes in the house!

Neither of us use the phone when we are together for some purpose, like eating. Or watching a movie, whatever. Going for a walk. And especially not in the bedroom, no phones in the bedroom!

Seriously, you are married, you guys have an intimate life that is what separates you from everyone else and I do not just mean sex. When I had serious surgery and I woke up after an induced coma and I look around and who is there? My wife and 4 boys. So who is more important I need to talk to on the phone?

[Tinchen_ 21]

Oh yeah, I even built a special place in the garage to remove the shoes and put them in a rack and put slippers on, kind of a small "mud room"(no bare feet either) Yeah, big Russian/Ukrainian taboo, no shoes in the house!

Neither of us use the phone when we are together for some purpose, like eating. Or watching a movie, whatever. Going for a walk. And especially not in the bedroom, no phones in the bedroom!

Seriously, you are married, you guys have an intimate life that is what separates you from everyone else and I do not just mean sex. When I had serious surgery and I woke up after an induced coma and I look around and who is there? My wife and 4 boys. So who is more important I need to talk to on the phone?

i remember my old bff in high school she was from russia and every time i visited her shoes off, first it was weird but after a while i did it already automatic, just had to remind to put nice socks on lol but good idea with the garage room..

he doesnt call anyone or txt when he is on his phone then he plays games or check out his apps, he is a big tech guy so tech news over everything. when he checks that once in a while i get a big OMG no way...lol for me i would wish he would tone it down a bit more.

the no phone in the bedroom , i like that but i wouldnt get that thru.. my mistake i got him to make compromises and now he uses it sometimes on me as well lol ;)

but with ur surgery hope it wasnt to serious and u doing good. but u right thats what it all counts that ur family was there for you when u woke up and helped u thru it.

[Dennis & Jean 1]

hi all VJ's

the other day me and my husband had a real stupid argument about a cell phone. where im from and grew up its rude to use ur cell phone when you for example eat together, or when you talk to someone and they just on their cell phone.for him its normal.

so we agreed to disagree.

so im just wondering how you all deal with the daily little culture difference with your spouse???

would be great to hear from you,maybe i can learn something next time lol

Maybe you can approach your spouse like this? “Honey, I want to build on “Our Time, when we can shut off the world”. I will shut off my external world (cell phone) when we are eating. Honey, I look at eating as a time of intimacy, catching up on today’s events, a time of silence, and a time that it is only you and I against the world, so romantic. Just you and”! Trust me; it is not a culture difference. Sometimes one must express the real reason for wanting time alone with each other! LOL

[pat & angela 1]

Lol my gps has voice control and sometimes... man. I have favourites set and I should just be able to say "Favourites" "walmart" but instead i have to go line by line through favourites till I get to it because "walmart" apparently sounds like "walnut" when i say it. I tried looking for Le Claire Avenue... that was just awful! So I think it would be funny to see a vid of me talking to my GPS:

Me: "walmart"

GPS: "did you say, walnut?"

Me: "No. Waaalllmart *americanish accent*"

GPS: "did you say Waldorf".

Me: "NO! OMG!! $#@%$#$ %$%$%#$^%^ $%# #$^%T #$^T#"

That sounds a lot like me! hahaha...

I have to call someone on the phone and then im like...Ummm Patrick please talk to them, they dont understand me.

And thats just one of the series, he has to give me a confidence speech each time before i call someone, or even in restaurants, i like to make him order or i just say it once, if the server doesnt understand i just look at Patrick!

[Darnell 8,478]

i think levels of civility and manners are based on what you learned with your parents.

IMO, it's not culture-specific or country-specific. It's specific to the individual's background.

[aayitrun 66]

hi all VJ's

the other day me and my husband had a real stupid argument about a cell phone. where im from and grew up its rude to use ur cell phone when you for example eat together, or when you talk to someone and they just on their cell phone.for him its normal.

so we agreed to disagree.

so im just wondering how you all deal with the daily little culture difference with your spouse???

would be great to hear from you,maybe i can learn something next time lol

god damn, wife and i argue about this all the time.. i dont know who invented these rules about rudeness with cellphones. they have only been around for 20 years...

please people.. if geeks get bored.. they use their cellphones. we dont question why u have 20 pairs of shoes.. or take 2 hours to paint nails.

[Rob & Monika 87]

just text him dirty messages when he does it so he can't concentrate on what he is doing.

[bigdog 376]

Rude and customs are two different issues, one is addressed on a personal level the other may take time. Another cultures directness and less tact may be different the US. I have seen through the years immigrants who proclaim their county and customs are better than USA, upon return to their home country after living here and back to US, I have seen then the difference n the cultures, values, living conditions becomes evident. I love by new family in China, but I cannot do stuff in China I do here from firearms to many other issues. The bottom line is talk it out.

[sabi 148]

I am not under one roof with my fiance yet but for the moment the biggest difference I noticed is the wording and pronunciation. Like when I say sth and he tells me to speak "English" when actually his "English" isn't the correct one haha... Like for example two different ways of saying "route" and "router". When he said that to me first I was like what?!?!?! That's the only thing I can think of right now but there is more, let me just get my head around that

I actually bought myself a small dictionary that translates American English into British English and wow guys there are some differences!!!

[Tinchen_ 21]

hahah i really love the dirty text thing its hilarious... LOVE it ....

ok 20pairs of shoes, not even close lol.. and we need them all lol.. 20minutes to do my nails no clue dont do them myself lol

yeah i bet ur fiance is all confused with ur british english lol.. sometimes i use some other words like perhaps or theater and my husband gets all lost. he is like where do u wanna do??? and has this cute confused look on his face lol.and then im like noo i mean movies, lets go to the movies lol heheheh...

[LeftCoastLady 441]

I am not under one roof with my fiance yet but for the moment the biggest difference I noticed is the wording and pronunciation. Like when I say sth and he tells me to speak "English" when actually his "English" isn't the correct one haha... Like for example two different ways of saying "route" and "router". When he said that to me first I was like what?!?!?! That's the only thing I can think of right now but there is more, let me just get my head around that

I actually bought myself a small dictionary that translates American English into British English and wow guys there are some differences!!!

Since we Skype almost daily, I've picked up a lot of British-isms. He loves when I say a phrase like "take the piss out of..." in my American accent.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

i think levels of civility and manners are based on what you learned with your parents.

IMO, it's not culture-specific or country-specific. It's specific to the individual's background.

Could be. My parents did not have cell phones.

Alla's mom always takes her shoes off...yeah, I think you are on to something!

[N&S 32]

One thing I find different from my native German culture (not on hubby but most Americans I've met) is approach to sniffly nose - in Germany it's rude to make sniffly noises by "pulling it up" and my understanding is that in the US it is rude to audibly blow your nose (normal approach in Germany - that's why we got those wonderful 4 ply tissues that don't dissolve when they just see liquid *nostalgic*) and I'm just stumped. I keep wanting to tell people around me to "For *** sake please use a tissue", but obviously know that they are doing the more appropriate thing for the environment they are in and on the other hand find myself baffled as to how dabbing my nose is going to do me any good when I have hey fever and water is just pouring out...

Another thing I'm not sure is if it's cultural or just our individual families that caused hubby and me to work differently is that I like closed doors - my preference is to close the bedroom door when I go to sleep, even if I'm all by myself in the house, and generally would close all the other doors when I enter / leave a room; he grew up in a house with all open doors and finds it uncomfortable to sleep with doors closed (I resigned to open doors but now that the sun keeps coming up so early I think I need to start re-negotiating).

Lots of little things are different and we are trying to make the best of it - I guess the key is to not make it a personal attack and proclaim "My culture's way of doing things is better" but point out that it's different and that it's difficult for us to adjust to the other's behavior and hopefully find a middle ground. -- Though I do agree that cell phone during dinner is rude!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

One thing I find different from my native German culture (not on hubby but most Americans I've met) is approach to sniffly nose - in Germany it's rude to make sniffly noises by "pulling it up" and my understanding is that in the US it is rude to audibly blow your nose (normal approach in Germany - that's why we got those wonderful 4 ply tissues that don't dissolve when they just see liquid *nostalgic*) and I'm just stumped. I keep wanting to tell people around me to "For *** sake please use a tissue", but obviously know that they are doing the more appropriate thing for the environment they are in and on the other hand find myself baffled as to how dabbing my nose is going to do me any good when I have hey fever and water is just pouring out...

Lol. That sound is them sucking snot down their throat. It's INCREDIBLY gross if it's a snort sound, irritating as buggery if they're just sniffing constantly. I would prefer they discretely dab, then go to the bathroom and blow their nose.