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culture difference, daily life

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

hi all VJ's

the other day me and my husband had a real stupid argument about a cell phone. where im from and grew up its rude to use ur cell phone when you for example eat together, or when you talk to someone and they just on their cell phone.for him its normal.

so we agreed to disagree.

so im just wondering how you all deal with the daily little culture difference with your spouse???

would be great to hear from you,maybe i can learn something next time :) lol B-)


Visa Journey:

K1:

Service Center: Vermont Service Center

Consulate: Frankfurt, Germany

I-129F Sent: 10-13-2010

I-129F NOA1: 10-18-2010

I-129F NOA2: 04-05-2011

Consulate Received: 04-15-2011

Packet 3 Received: 04-29-2011

Packet 3 Sent: 04-30-2011

Packet 4 Received: 05-07-2011

Interview Date: 06-07-2011

Interview Result: Visa was on hold

Second Interview: Approved

Visa Received: 01-20-2012

ENTRY: 02-12-2012

Married: 03-26-2012

AOS 04-19-2012

Email notification 04-26-2012

NOA1 send : 04-24-2012

Biometric send: 04-27-2012

Biometric appt: 05-18-2012

AOS transfer to CSC: 05-24-2012

EAD/AD approved&send: 06-22-2012

EAD/AD arrived: 06-28-2012

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Filed: Timeline

hi all VJ's

the other day me and my husband had a real stupid argument about a cell phone. where im from and grew up its rude to use ur cell phone when you for example eat together, or when you talk to someone and they just on their cell phone.for him its normal.

so we agreed to disagree.

so im just wondering how you all deal with the daily little culture difference with your spouse???

would be great to hear from you,maybe i can learn something next time :) lol B-)

well, what you have to do is show them how it feels. The next time you are out to dinner have friends call u and take those calls and talk as long as you like, he will see on his on how rude that is and stop..if not let me know i have lots of ideas lol..

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Living with someone is always difficult. Obviously cultural differences are real, but sometimes I think people are too quick to make it a cultural issue with an international couple instead just a person issue. Different people, even in the same country, have different ideas on manners. If I were you, I would tell him that it is important to you to not talk on the phone during dinner, or to keep it to a minimum. To turn it into a cultural issue might make him bristle up and become more defensive and less likely to accommodate you. My dad reads at the table and my mom is constantly reminding him not to...


AOS for my husband
8/17/10: INTERVIEW DAY (day 123) APPROVED!!

ROC:
5/23/12: Sent out package
2/06/13: APPROVED!

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Filed: Timeline

hi all VJ's

the other day me and my husband had a real stupid argument about a cell phone. where im from and grew up its rude to use ur cell phone when you for example eat together, or when you talk to someone and they just on their cell phone.for him its normal.

so we agreed to disagree.

so im just wondering how you all deal with the daily little culture difference with your spouse???

would be great to hear from you,maybe i can learn something next time :) lol B-)

Honey, it is not cultural difference. In any culture it is rude to use your cell phone while you are having a conversation, dinner, etc. with someone. It is a simple question of manners. I live in USA for many years now and I know. It is aggrivating when someone does that. My American friends hate that too. Things like that happen in any culture these days

Edited by SSSSS

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

well, what you have to do is show them how it feels. The next time you are out to dinner have friends call u and take those calls and talk as long as you like, he will see on his on how rude that is and stop..if not let me know i have lots of ideas lol..

i know i tried that. it doesnt bother him, then he gets his cell out ..and we two have dinner with our cell phones lol hahaha..

but i would love to hear ur ideas :)


Visa Journey:

K1:

Service Center: Vermont Service Center

Consulate: Frankfurt, Germany

I-129F Sent: 10-13-2010

I-129F NOA1: 10-18-2010

I-129F NOA2: 04-05-2011

Consulate Received: 04-15-2011

Packet 3 Received: 04-29-2011

Packet 3 Sent: 04-30-2011

Packet 4 Received: 05-07-2011

Interview Date: 06-07-2011

Interview Result: Visa was on hold

Second Interview: Approved

Visa Received: 01-20-2012

ENTRY: 02-12-2012

Married: 03-26-2012

AOS 04-19-2012

Email notification 04-26-2012

NOA1 send : 04-24-2012

Biometric send: 04-27-2012

Biometric appt: 05-18-2012

AOS transfer to CSC: 05-24-2012

EAD/AD approved&send: 06-22-2012

EAD/AD arrived: 06-28-2012

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

Honey, it is not cultural difference. In any culture it is rude to use your cell phone while you are having a conversation, dinner, etc. with someone. It is a simple question of manners. I live in USA for many years now and I know. It is aggrivating when someone does that. My American friends hate that too. Things things happen in any culture these days

it was an example of many things. for example all my american friends and his friends and family does the cell phone thing. all my german friends and family dont. it simple was just an example. i could give u many different examples between american and german culture differences.

i lived in the usa for some years b4 i got married and thats my personal experience.


Visa Journey:

K1:

Service Center: Vermont Service Center

Consulate: Frankfurt, Germany

I-129F Sent: 10-13-2010

I-129F NOA1: 10-18-2010

I-129F NOA2: 04-05-2011

Consulate Received: 04-15-2011

Packet 3 Received: 04-29-2011

Packet 3 Sent: 04-30-2011

Packet 4 Received: 05-07-2011

Interview Date: 06-07-2011

Interview Result: Visa was on hold

Second Interview: Approved

Visa Received: 01-20-2012

ENTRY: 02-12-2012

Married: 03-26-2012

AOS 04-19-2012

Email notification 04-26-2012

NOA1 send : 04-24-2012

Biometric send: 04-27-2012

Biometric appt: 05-18-2012

AOS transfer to CSC: 05-24-2012

EAD/AD approved&send: 06-22-2012

EAD/AD arrived: 06-28-2012

e4nrdek1wws.png

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Filed: Timeline

it was an example of many things. for example all my american friends and his friends and family does the cell phone thing. all my german friends and family dont. it simple was just an example. i could give u many different examples between american and german culture differences.

i lived in the usa for some years b4 i got married and thats my personal experience.

there will be many differences. and they should be talked about without getting into arguments. Arguments never help. But in the first place it is better to see differenced between manners and the idea of cultural differences. Generalizing and steriotyping things would not help. But in terms of cultural differences, yes it can be tough, but tallking about it and learning each other helps a lot. Try to use humor also:))

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

there will be many differences. and they should be talked about without getting into arguments. Arguments never help. But in the first place it is better to see differenced between manners and the idea of cultural differences. Generalizing and steriotyping things would not help. But in terms of cultural differences, yes it can be tough, but tallking about it and learning each other helps a lot. Try to use humor also:))

yeah i know it can be hard sometimes. we try to see each other sites and be understanding its normal for the other person. yeah i do the humor thing as well, helps a lot. i was just curios with this thread what other ppl going thru with it :) :) but thanks for your input :) :) keep doing the humor thing hihihihih


Visa Journey:

K1:

Service Center: Vermont Service Center

Consulate: Frankfurt, Germany

I-129F Sent: 10-13-2010

I-129F NOA1: 10-18-2010

I-129F NOA2: 04-05-2011

Consulate Received: 04-15-2011

Packet 3 Received: 04-29-2011

Packet 3 Sent: 04-30-2011

Packet 4 Received: 05-07-2011

Interview Date: 06-07-2011

Interview Result: Visa was on hold

Second Interview: Approved

Visa Received: 01-20-2012

ENTRY: 02-12-2012

Married: 03-26-2012

AOS 04-19-2012

Email notification 04-26-2012

NOA1 send : 04-24-2012

Biometric send: 04-27-2012

Biometric appt: 05-18-2012

AOS transfer to CSC: 05-24-2012

EAD/AD approved&send: 06-22-2012

EAD/AD arrived: 06-28-2012

e4nrdek1wws.png

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline

yeah i know it can be hard sometimes. we try to see each other sites and be understanding its normal for the other person. yeah i do the humor thing as well, helps a lot. i was just curios with this thread what other ppl going thru with it :) :) but thanks for your input :) :) keep doing the humor thing hihihihih

You know manners is probably the biggest cultural difference. I call it cultural because it's not just one person or one instance of someone doing something I would consider rude. I find many American's I've encountered lacking in what we would call basic manners at home. I've been told I'm OVERLY polite... Things like saying "bless you" when someone sneezes, saying "excuse me" or "please" and "thank you". I find many forget the please and think the thank you AFTER someone has done what's asked is enough.

I found a post of a family member where she used the word "therefore" (and another intelligent word but would require the full conversation to understand) and she was laughed at for talking like that and told she wasn't allowed to talk like that in normal conversations.. whereas I would consider the words she used as normal conversation... it definitely gave me the vibe that no-one is allowed to appear smarter than someone else... like why people are hazed and I didn't like it :( Bringing someone down just because they're smarter than you or know something you don't know seems to be common here.

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You know manners is probably the biggest cultural difference. I call it cultural because it's not just one person or one instance of someone doing something I would consider rude. I find many American's I've encountered lacking in what we would call basic manners at home. I've been told I'm OVERLY polite... Things like saying "bless you" when someone sneezes, saying "excuse me" or "please" and "thank you". I find many forget the please and think the thank you AFTER someone has done what's asked is enough.

I found a post of a family member where she used the word "therefore" (and another intelligent word but would require the full conversation to understand) and she was laughed at for talking like that and told she wasn't allowed to talk like that in normal conversations.. whereas I would consider the words she used as normal conversation... it definitely gave me the vibe that no-one is allowed to appear smarter than someone else... like why people are hazed and I didn't like it :( Bringing someone down just because they're smarter than you or know something you don't know seems to be common here.

Vanessa, I think you've got to get out of Iowa. The experiences you have... seriously...


AOS for my husband
8/17/10: INTERVIEW DAY (day 123) APPROVED!!

ROC:
5/23/12: Sent out package
2/06/13: APPROVED!

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline

Vanessa, I think you've got to get out of Iowa. The experiences you have... seriously...

Lol I know right! Don't get me wrong, I like it here... the quiet living, the people waving in the street, the ability to walk my dogs down the road and people slowing down to pass... it's only when I talk to people that I get annoyed :P "Familiarity breeds contempt" is a common phrase running through my head :P

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

You know manners is probably the biggest cultural difference. I call it cultural because it's not just one person or one instance of someone doing something I would consider rude. I find many American's I've encountered lacking in what we would call basic manners at home. I've been told I'm OVERLY polite... Things like saying "bless you" when someone sneezes, saying "excuse me" or "please" and "thank you". I find many forget the please and think the thank you AFTER someone has done what's asked is enough.

I found a post of a family member where she used the word "therefore" (and another intelligent word but would require the full conversation to understand) and she was laughed at for talking like that and told she wasn't allowed to talk like that in normal conversations.. whereas I would consider the words she used as normal conversation... it definitely gave me the vibe that no-one is allowed to appear smarter than someone else... like why people are hazed and I didn't like it :( Bringing someone down just because they're smarter than you or know something you don't know seems to be common here.

hi vanessa :)

i totally feel you :) i lived b4 in california and went to school there and i was always so confused and irritated when ppl where so nice and did random small talk with me. def not a german thing lol. when i moved back to germany it felt like awww yayaayya rude ppl at the check out again lol ;) hihih and now that im back in the states i have to get used to the friendliness again. and special now living with a southern country man lol sometimes i just roll my eyes at him when he does something in my eyes soooo strange lol.

but the vibe you got its really not nice. i mean u from australia u learn a different english then american english right?? so then thats just a bit mean to put u down like that just cuz u use different wording... i hope it all got better now?? :)

i also notice special here in the south ppl just dont understand me. in cali never a problem here they look at me like im from a different planet lol.. oh what i really love are these automatic calling machines. when you call somewhere and u have to answer questions to go thru the system and get to aactual person. these things are living nightmare for me. like simple question and you just have to answer yes and no. and then i say for example no and the machine tells me: sorry i couldnt hear that, please repeat again.after like three times it says goodbye lol....and i dont have such a strong accent.. but oh well i go nutts and my husbands laughs his butt off lol HAHAHAHAHAH :rofl:


Visa Journey:

K1:

Service Center: Vermont Service Center

Consulate: Frankfurt, Germany

I-129F Sent: 10-13-2010

I-129F NOA1: 10-18-2010

I-129F NOA2: 04-05-2011

Consulate Received: 04-15-2011

Packet 3 Received: 04-29-2011

Packet 3 Sent: 04-30-2011

Packet 4 Received: 05-07-2011

Interview Date: 06-07-2011

Interview Result: Visa was on hold

Second Interview: Approved

Visa Received: 01-20-2012

ENTRY: 02-12-2012

Married: 03-26-2012

AOS 04-19-2012

Email notification 04-26-2012

NOA1 send : 04-24-2012

Biometric send: 04-27-2012

Biometric appt: 05-18-2012

AOS transfer to CSC: 05-24-2012

EAD/AD approved&send: 06-22-2012

EAD/AD arrived: 06-28-2012

e4nrdek1wws.png

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline
oh what i really love are these automatic calling machines. when you call somewhere and u have to answer questions to go thru the system and get to aactual person. these things are living nightmare for me. like simple question and you just have to answer yes and no. and then i say for example no and the machine tells me: sorry i couldnt hear that, please repeat again.after like three times it says goodbye lol....and i dont have such a strong accent.. but oh well i go nutts and my husbands laughs his butt off lol HAHAHAHAHAH :rofl:

Lol my gps has voice control and sometimes... man. I have favourites set and I should just be able to say "Favourites" "walmart" but instead i have to go line by line through favourites till I get to it because "walmart" apparently sounds like "walnut" when i say it. I tried looking for Le Claire Avenue... that was just awful! So I think it would be funny to see a vid of me talking to my GPS:

Me: "walmart"

GPS: "did you say, walnut?"

Me: "No. Waaalllmart *americanish accent*"

GPS: "did you say Waldorf".

Me: "NO! OMG!! $#@%$#$ %$%$%#$^%^ $%# #$^%T #$^T#"

Edited by Vanessa&Tony

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Germany
Timeline

Lol my gps has voice control and sometimes... man. I have favourites set and I should just be able to say "Favourites" "walmart" but instead i have to go line by line through favourites till I get to it because "walmart" apparently sounds like "walnut" when i say it. I tried looking for Le Claire Avenue... that was just awful! So I think it would be funny to see a vid of me talking to my GPS:

Me: "walmart"

GPS: "did you say, walnut?"

Me: "No. Waaalllmart *americanish accent*"

GPS: "did you say Waldorf".

Me: "NO! OMG!! $#@%$#$ %$%$%#$^%^ $%# #$^%T #$^T#"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

thats so me as well.. special then with all the cussing... yeah walmart and walnut is the same.. hahah and tried the le claire avenue street i bet ur gps was then all lost lol..

i once tried to find a business phone number over the hotline. let me just says that it didnt went well at all.

started already with the city.

city u looking for?

me: long beach

hotline: fullerton??

me: LONG BEACH (real slow)

hotline: Burbank??

me: agent please

hotline: sorry didnt heared what u said.

i was like ready to throw my phone out... must have looked funny for other ppl nxt to me at the light lol..

have to love these lil things, which make ur life so much more fun lol


Visa Journey:

K1:

Service Center: Vermont Service Center

Consulate: Frankfurt, Germany

I-129F Sent: 10-13-2010

I-129F NOA1: 10-18-2010

I-129F NOA2: 04-05-2011

Consulate Received: 04-15-2011

Packet 3 Received: 04-29-2011

Packet 3 Sent: 04-30-2011

Packet 4 Received: 05-07-2011

Interview Date: 06-07-2011

Interview Result: Visa was on hold

Second Interview: Approved

Visa Received: 01-20-2012

ENTRY: 02-12-2012

Married: 03-26-2012

AOS 04-19-2012

Email notification 04-26-2012

NOA1 send : 04-24-2012

Biometric send: 04-27-2012

Biometric appt: 05-18-2012

AOS transfer to CSC: 05-24-2012

EAD/AD approved&send: 06-22-2012

EAD/AD arrived: 06-28-2012

e4nrdek1wws.png

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ukraine
Timeline

hi all VJ's

the other day me and my husband had a real stupid argument about a cell phone. where im from and grew up its rude to use ur cell phone when you for example eat together, or when you talk to someone and they just on their cell phone.for him its normal.

so we agreed to disagree.

so im just wondering how you all deal with the daily little culture difference with your spouse???

would be great to hear from you,maybe i can learn something next time :) lol B-)

Yeah, thats rude. What planet did your husband come from? That is not a culture difference. I would not agree to disagree on that. I would not do that but if I did the reaction would be predictable..."Turn off your phone, I am your wife" Which means, basically, "I ....(do things for you that no one else does)... you will give me respect"

I find the cultural differences to be interesting. Oh, and take off your shoes. Thats what it says under the avatar of Alla...so I don't forget. :lol:


VERMONT! I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla

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