Sudden CHANGE!!! What do I do!?

[Golden Gate 530]

The person you quoted was not implying anything about "real muslims" but was in fact saying that by the OP's husbands stance (as stated in the OP) would have many issues if she were in a field where touching a man were necessary. This is nothing against YOU or your husband but against the OP's fiance who is being REALLY irrational and ridiculous.

" Islam is one in all the world and I am getting so surprised with the people whom are saying that's they are muslim and we don't have this this is a big lie.of course some are muslim only by name and they don't have any relation with Islam and try to give all bad name to islam."

I think she was referring to this statement, not Jenn's.

[sandinista! 1,816]

it's cool! i'd stand up for jen'n too if i thought someone was misconstruing her words. i figured she would know what i meant.

[In a tizzy 7]

IMHO, you should be with a man that not only loves, values, adores, & appreciates YOU... but one that can love, value, adore & appreciate everything YOU DO for others.

Absolutely! I mean... a lot of my deaf/blind students (deaf with LOW vision) typically are not aware of their rights and are in homes where communication is almost NIL. So... Who else will go out there and work with them? They are not an easy lot for me, but my passion calls for it.

[sachinky 464]

I love when one person arbitrarily decides who or what a "real Muslim" is.

Edited October 29, 2011 by sachinky

[In a tizzy 7]

Fortunately, it is between her and Allah, as it should be, and no one else's business. Only she understands what is expected of her: Muhammad(SAW) said, "O Wabisah! are you come to ask what is goodness and what is badness?" Wabisah said, "Yes, I am come for that." Then He joined his fingers and struck them upon Wabisah's breast, that is made a sign towards his heart, and said, "Ask the question from thine own heart." This he repeated three times aloud and said, "Goodness is a thing from which thy heart findeth firmness and rest; and badness is a thing which throweth thee into doubt, although men may acquit thee."

THANKS! I am definitely going to look this up and use it as my source of debate tonight - round 2.

[In a tizzy 7]

I wonder what this guy would say if she were in the medical field or in some other occupation where she might have to examine naked men.

Some gaps just cannot be bridged, the end.

OHH! OHHH!!!!! Speaking of naked men.

Gee, I have a BA in physical therapy and 80% of my client base were males. I had been a physical therapist for 7 years before moving on to a "gentler" career. I was a physical therapist for "Coal Miners" down in the remotest parts of Alabama for a few years AND on top of that, I worked with YOUNG men between the ages of 18-25 that suffered from traumatic brain injury (TBI).

Naturally, the boys with TBI have no sense of modesty, and they are unaware of their inhibitions, often times disoriented, discombobulated, out of sorts and all depending on the "Glasgow Scale" of severity. Well, during their course of care, a lot of times they would just ambulate the halls during therapy and start to "disrobe" and become incoherent ON the spot. They expose themselves because they are NOT right in their heads. IT's almost like reprogramming a 3 year old brain in a 20 year old body.

During those therapy moments, I have seen plenty of PENII (it's a plural term for MANY ####### / not penises) in my whole life, more than I need to. None of these moments faze me. I mean, you've seen one #######, you've seen them all.

RIght now, in my teaching career, AGAIN is predominately males... my student ratio is 4 males to one female. I am an agriculture/horticulture teacher SPECIFICALLY for sensory impaired kids. So, a lot of "tactile" instructions take place.

I'll have to address this matter with my man during round 2. I don't think he's ever met someone like me - a female doing this kind of thing. SERIOUS talk is needed!

Well, thinking about it right now.... I am not the sweet helpless diminutive girl who sits and waits for her knight in a shining armor to rescue her. I grew up in a very dominant male household (4 BIG uncles, 8 BIG male cousins, 6 BIG male 2nd cousins, 1 BIG brother, 2 BIG fathers step/bio), and situated right outside of the Marine base.

I am starting to realize maybe my fiance does not KNOW enough about me and he thinks he can "impose" such edict on me.

We're gonna have another BIG talk and I'm ARMED and ready for a match.

More to follow....

[Dan & Jenni 457]

seriously, no matter what islam or anyone else says... this is not gonna work out well for you. he is asking you to do things that just arent in your nature and nothing you say will make him think he is wrong. please... walk away

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I am starting to realize maybe my fiance does not KNOW enough about me and he thinks he can "impose" such edict on me.

We're gonna have another BIG talk and I'm ARMED and ready for a match.

More to follow....

I suggest you pull the I-130 and cancel it all. It's easy for him to back out of what he said now, tell you he didn't realise it would upset you blah blah blah then he moves here and you realise he lied just so you wouldn't pull the visa and you're now living in hell. I think he's testing you. Say no and he'll be sweet until he gets here then he'll tell you he TOLD you this is how it would be.. no no no. Do NOT go through with the visa. Far too many red flags.

Edited October 29, 2011 by Vanessa&Tony

[Mithra 1,185]

It sounds like you know what you want to do (go through with immigration) so I suggest you stop arguing and going "rounds" with your fiance and just start to prepare for your life together. I can almost guarantee your fiance will never get that he's wrong and you'll never get that he's not going to change. You'll learn that soon enough when he gets here and you realize that googling ayas, hadith and various Islamic terms isn't going to help your cause or make him change. This isn't really about Islam. Its about control and manipulation.

[In a tizzy 7]

It sounds like you know what you want to do (go through with immigration) so I suggest you stop arguing and going "rounds" with your fiance and just start to prepare for your life together. I can almost guarantee your fiance will never get that he's wrong and you'll never get that he's not going to change. You'll learn that soon enough when he gets here and you realize that googling ayas, hadith and various Islamic terms isn't going to help your cause or make him change. This isn't really about Islam. Its about control and manipulation.

SO agreed and duly noted.... read next reply.

[In a tizzy 7]

Vj'ers....

I hope I can make this short. This is NOT GOOD for me.

I'm definitely in a tizzy and my panties in a BIGGER wad!

There was no round 2. He did send an email saying he hopes to adjust to my way of life and was acting all nice and normal. He stated that all he did was ask me "WHY was I smiling?" - simple as that and not to get upset about it. Just like what Mithra said that he would act like he did nothing wrong.... We did not even skype at all, like I had hoped. He's already on the bus to make an overnight trip to Algiers.

I am trying not to beat myself over this 11th hour thing.

Due to my being deaf, I use relay agent to make calls for me (translating my signs into voice). Well, seems like 10 companies that employ relay agents DO NOT make international calls. Therefore, a call to the Duty Officer was not possible.

SO, I had to email the CO with case number/admission number etc etc... and explained in simple layman's terms of my, ummm, desire to SUSPEND the interview decisions UNTIL I AM CONTACTED. I left them my pertinent contact information and my number (which can be done from international to USA {not vice versa}).

As of Monday, I am going to find ways to contact USCIS (which I had done) and explain (repeat) what I had told the CO.

(THINKING- actually I have a million cuss words circulating in my brain at the moment!)...

I've already got several possible back up actions planned right now for the "WHAT IF he is denied," for the "WHAT IF he is APS," for the "WHAT IF the decision is suspended," and for the "WHAT IF he is approved."

I would hate to admit right now that I am... literally discombobulated.

Words cannot explain how much I am overwhelmed and bowled over by your support! I am truly humbled...

TO BE CONTINUED....

p.s. Yep, I am going to a place to pray for DIVINE INTERVENTION, a MAJOR ONE! It will be 7:30am my time when he has his interview. SOMETHING MUST HAPPEN.

Sorry, I need to stop and pop an emergency anti-anxiety pill.

E

Edited October 30, 2011 by In a tizzy

[In a tizzy 7]

seriously, no matter what islam or anyone else says... this is not gonna work out well for you. he is asking you to do things that just arent in your nature and nothing you say will make him think he is wrong. please... walk away

I THINK I AM TOO LATE! I'll have the face the music. (Wait, I forgot, I cannot hear). Nevermind. I'll figure this one out: Putting on big girl panties!

Edited October 30, 2011 by In a tizzy

[Ryan H 3,791]

E,

Contact US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) also; they have the ability to refuse him entry to the US.

[In a tizzy 7]

E,

Contact US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) also; they have the ability to refuse him entry to the US.

That's the information I need at hand right at this moment. It helps. I just have NO idea what to expect within the next few hours.

At the same time....

I had realized he has never seen me in my own environment - using sign language. Never met my family. Never seen my stomping grounds. Never met my friends. Never seen my EVERY bit of my whole living situation.

Not that I am trying to rationalize his reason for telling I cannot do this and that.

He just does not know who I am and is only aware of his own culture, whereas I've met him, his family, his stomping grounds, and etc.

(Thinking...) That's a HUGE gap that may need to be address with him.

I'm putting a stop to this whole chaos and wait for the outcome of the interview.

To be continued....

[Ryan H 3,791]

That's the information I need at hand right at this moment. It helps. I just have NO idea what to expect within the next few hours.

CBP Questions/Customer Service contact information

TDD: 1-866-880-6582

This would probably be the best place to start should it become necessary for you to contract CBP.