am I cheap?

[devastedme 2]

Hi Guys,

I know I should not be posting this personal information about my relationship with my fiancee but I am getting a bit worried. Let me give you some details about the situation so that you can understand me. Okay?

First of all I am not a rich guy. I have mortgage, car's payment, etc to pay. I am the only person generating income in my house, hint, I live alone. I always tell her, listen Mary, I am not a rich guy. I am just a regular guy who works to pay bills and save very little. She does not registered that. What part of "I am not rich she does not understand" ?

Back to the topic:

"SHE ALWAYS CALL ME CHEAP. ALWAYS."

Break down:

trip #1.

I bought a package that included hotel and plane tickets. So my package was paid before going to the phi. I took in cash to the Phil.($3,500 dollars for a week) just to spend. And we spent it all. I don't carry money there. I let her carry it.

Total cost for 1 week: about $5,600 including the package.

Trip two:

Same thing....same amount spent in cash in 1 week. We spent it all.

Total cost for 1 week: about $5,300 including the package.

In between:

She wanted latest Blackberry, dslr camera, new laptop, money to pay her rent, money to shop, money to eat out,, etc. We spent $600 dollars for her kid birthday in the phil about $1,200 dollars for her birthday,. I know it is not a lot for some of you but for me it is. If the kid needs to go to Jolibee, I send $100 or so for her kid to go to jolibee not often though. But every now and then.

Sometimes when I need to send budget for her niece, who is going to college, and by mistake by sending 500 to 900 extra, (because of conversation mis-calculations error) I tell her give that extra to your kid for an ice cream or so, she accepts it as if I am sending the kid a penny.

She went back to the Phil. and I am supposed to budget for it. The total amount came to be roughly 154,000 PHP. I sent 152,000 pesos. Guess what? she called me cheap. I know we agreed that I am supposed to send 154,000 but 2,000 less that is like 50 dollars. Guys the problem is when I use the conversation rate, I always screw up with that. Either extra or less.

*Do not forget all the visa fees, medical, and so forth for Mary and her kid"

If I add up the total amount it is about: $25,0000 - $30,000 dollars in less than a year.

Conclusion:

Each time she asks me to send her something, If I don't send the right amount she calls me cheap and that she thinks our relationship will not work because we already have budget problem.

I already told her I can not spend money at this rate. I really can not afford this any more . Jobs are so hard these days. I am working today but we don't know what tomorrow will bring. At this rate my saving will be gone soon . I left out many many more details about.

Am I cheap from what I explained? am I doing correct thing by letting her know I am not a rich guy? I think it was the right thing to do. Well, sometimes I do give her a hard time before I send but it is not because I am cheap. It is because I can hardly continue spending like this I am not shy to say it and I told her just like that.

She has her visa on her hands to come to USA. I am so nerveouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

Comments are welcome.

[tallcoolone 102]

Sounds like you need to get a second job to accomodate her spending habit.

She is a your common "Gold Digger"

Kick her to the curb, don't let her come to the USA she will break you and put you so far into debt that you will never see daylight again

[moroccogirlny 100]

This is only my opinion as a woman, send her nothing! See her reaction, if she has a hard time with it then you know she's not worth it. Love comes from the heart, not the wallet.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Dump her fast. I have seen your future, and it is not pretty.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I did not send that much. That is the total including the 2 trips plus the amount we have spent so far. But we have a good time when I visit her.

Keep the memory for the lonely nights, but find somebody else perhaps a little closer to home. Nice guys have an invisible "SUCKER" tattooed on their foreheads that only young Pinay can see.

[tallcoolone 102]

I did not send that much. That is the total including the 2 trips plus the amount we have spent so far. But we have a good time when I visit her.

You do realize the average salary in the Philippines is about $200 per month.

You have sent excessive amounts of money, Even if you take out $12,000 for trips and Visa Cost, you have sent a small fortune to the Philippines.

She only wants your money.

A Good Girl in the Philippines would never ask for money they are way to shy for that. You need to drop her like a bad habit and find you another girl. The Philippines is full of beautiful good girls who are looking for love.

[shelly-bug 15]

I did not send that much. That is the total including the 2 trips plus the amount we have spent so far. But we have a good time when I visit her.

So sorry to tell you this but you are being PLAYED!!!!.....WE are living in hard times, people are not sure if they will have their jobs tomorrow or next week and she wants the latest gadgets?? Honestly i don't see love and support here! I am sorry...

[Michael and Ivy 1]

Agree with tallcoolone

[HappyRs 8]

thumbs up for everything that has been posted so far. No need for a fortuneteller to tell you what your future will look like with a woman like that by your side (and this is coming from a woman, the beneficiary, who has never expected anything from her USC husband, except love and respect). Run! Fast and while you can!

[otey918 10]

Here are my guidelines for meeting a woman in the Philippines

1. Make sure she has no kids

2. Make sure she has some type of college degree so she can help you finacially

3. Make sure she doesn't come from a dirt poor family, or they will always have there hands out.

Remember you are not in America, In Philippines you can have your pick of litter when it comes to meeting woman, Choose Wisely My Son.........

I am a woman from Philippines with 3kids ....please don't generalized all the woman in Phils with kids coz every individual has differences... I'm a College degree holder and to the fact that i have kids ..i never obligued my fiance to support my kids , it's his choice to help me and i really appreciate it so much ....MONEY can just ruin one's relationship if u always demand for money all the time....just my opinion:)

Edited May 1, 2011 by otey918

[memile 2]

Run Run Run

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Am I cheap from what I explained? am I doing correct thing by letting her know I am not a rich guy? I think it was the right thing to do. Well, sometimes I do give her a hard time before I send but it is not because I am cheap. It is because I can hardly continue spending like this I am not shy to say it and I told her just like that.

She has her visa on her hands to come to USA. I am so nerveouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

Comments are welcome.

Whoah!

You already know the answer to your question "Am I Cheap?" .. You can read the posts on here, seems like half the people are needing co-sponsors for the 864 form because they are at the poverty level. There are all sort of questions that should be discussed before whisking someone form their country to come here.. First and foremost would be what is she planning to do when she gets here? What is the long term plan? This should be a team effort, both sides eager to contribute..

Seems like you already know where this relationship is heading though...

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

Agree with the others also. Spending lots of money when youa re there is just having a nice holiday, nothing wrong with that. A laptop could maybe be justified so she can email and webcam with you, and some money on the kid is nice of you. Everything else is excessive. Why does she need money to eat out, and 600 on the kid??? Unless you told her not to work, she should be making her own money, possibly with the occasional treat from you. What really rings the alarm bells is her calling you cheap and threatening to end it if you don't send money though. That is emotional blackmail.

[Boiler 43,434]

Tell her you are in financial straights and to send you money.

[otey918 10]

You do realize the average salary in the Philippines is about $200 per month.

You have sent excessive amounts of money, Even if you take out $12,000 for trips and Visa Cost, you have sent a small fortune to the Philippines.

She only wants your money.

A Good Girl in the Philippines would never ask for money they are way to shy for that. You need to drop her like a bad habit and find you another girl. The Philippines is full of beautiful good girls who are looking for love.

...I agree with this, Good girls from PHils too shy to ask coz we don't want to call us as a scammer coz we know a lot of Filipinas are really degrading.. i hate to tell this but it's true