what do i do ?

[deepblue 0]

Ok ..here my story i was married June 2008 and i got my visa(k3) on July 2010, i came to US on october 2010, only

to find out that my wife is living with someone, i stay in a hotel for couple of days before a distant cousin of mine helped me out am staying with him and his wife now.

After a week i went to see my wife but she didnt want me to come so her house so we met in a mall..

she ask for forgiveness and .. i did fogive her and i was gonna move in..only for her to text me again late in the night that she doesnt want me to

move in,her reasons is that she doesnt want to be committed right now and that if i move in the Govt is gonna take SSI away from her i know she is lieing about it she started giving excuses that she doesnt have a car i ask her to find out how is it rent a car and i will send her the money to rent it so she can come and pick me up she came back and told me to rent a car in USA is $500.00 omg where can someone rent a car in US for such an amount for just a day ? she said everything is included both taxes.

... the text hurt so bad, i later found that from her friend next morning that the man has moved in back with her again..got another text that i shouldnt call or text her again.i love this woman, after few days she started texting me trying to find out how am doing, i did ask her why she is doing all this what she told me is that she just want me to be save.

she told me that the guy ask her to burn all our wedding pics and some goverment documents and she did it ..OMG

she has been asking me to send her all my paper works and including my visa page i dont trust her to give her all that and she keep institing that i should send it to her i wont like her next action and even called our lawyer asking me him to send all my paper work to her also she told me the other day that she need it to get her social security number i told her i know her social security and ones you are an american citizen that will be given to you when you were born i really dont know what she is up to .

i dont know what to do or where to go from here . Please advice me on what to do i have till Jan 2011 to adjust my status ...

Please advice me am confuse and helpless right now.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

You usually have TWO years from arriving on a K3 to file for AOS.. so why Jan 2011??

Didn't she tell you she was living with someone before you flew over? I find it odd she wouldn't tell you that to stop you from coming.

I don't know if it's different to a K1, but normally you need the petitioner to adjust your status so without her I think you need to return to your home country. I would file for divorce before you leave.

Edited November 23, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[Kengux 3]

Ur relationship wit the woman was not genuine from start. How often do u communicate wit her before u filed n got approved? Did u communicate wit her family members and ask questions abt her before u made the big move? Dont give ur passport to her and report the case to USCIS before it is too late. Sorry friend..

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Let's see, where to start...

Ok, if she doesn't have a credit card then it's distinctly possible it could cost $500 to rent a car, mainly because the car rental agency is going to want a BIG deposit. The actual daily rental fee is much less, between $30 and $50 per day, depending on the agency and the type of car being rented. It's higher if she doesn't have insurance, and needs to purchase it from the rental agency.

If she is saying she needs your paperwork to get her Social Security number, it's possible that what she's REALLY saying is that she doesn't want YOU to have any paperwork that has her Social Security number ON it. She may be worried about identity theft, though someone on SSI doesn't have a lot to worry about in this respect. She probably doesn't have a credit rating worth protecting.

Ok, brass tacks...

There are only three ways you can adjust status now. The first way is through your marriage. This would require your wife to sponsor you. If she's on SSI then she'll likely need a joint sponsor. Your marriage isn't viable at this point, so there's a pretty good chance this method would fail.

The second way is with a VAWA claim. If she has essentially abandoned you since your arrival then you might have a good shot at this. Talk to an immigration lawyer. You'll need evidence she had abused you, and evidence you entered the marriage in good faith.

The third way is an asylum claim. The chances of an approved asylum claim for a Nigerian national are very slim.

[deepblue 0]

Thanks alot for your advice ... we had a co sponsor and his still willing to help, is it ok to give her my paper work just for peace to rain ? but i dont know what she is up to ? yes i have two years stamp on my i-94

im just confuse my wife has already told me she doesn't want a divorce..

i dont know why she is insisting that i should give her all my paper work and visa page

[Dakine 26]

Thanks alot for your advice ... we had a co sponsor and his still willing to help, is it ok to give her my paper work just for peace to rain ? but i dont know what she is up to ? yes i have two years stamp on my i-94

im just confuse my wife has already told me she doesn't want a divorce..

i dont know why she is insisting that i should give her all my paper work and visa page

If you are going to give her paperwork,

I would give her copies. NO originals.

Edited November 23, 2010 by Dakine

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Thanks alot for your advice ... we had a co sponsor and his still willing to help, is it ok to give her my paper work just for peace to rain ? but i dont know what she is up to ? yes i have two years stamp on my i-94

im just confuse my wife has already told me she doesn't want a divorce..

i dont know why she is insisting that i should give her all my paper work and visa page

she's insisting so she can report you to police or immigration as "illegal" and have you arrested and deported and without your paperwork you can't prove you ARE legal. There is NO reason for her to ask otherwise.

She's already burnt the other stuff probably to pretend she's not even married. Heck she might even claim you're stalking her and without proof you're married you could be arrested (even with proof it looks bad).

Return to your home country, I can't see this ending well. I don't see you proving she abandoned you either (to claim VAWA) because YOU arrived at HER house. She didn't bring you to her house and it sounds unlikely she would have purchased your ticket just to get you to the US to where she's living with another person..

[Inky 1,111]

Can you check to see if you are still married? and that she hasnt divorced you when you were out of the country?

[Anh map 2,098]

From what you have told us there is no reason to trust your wife. Anything that she may do with your papers would not be to your advantage.

Speak to an immigration attorney prior to communicating with your wife again.

[SweetHome_Alabama 5]

It sounds like your wife is playing games with you. Sound like from what you ar saying is she want this other man BUT WHILE you sit and wait for her! This is no marriage and how could you trust this woman who is only leading you on and playing with your feelings? I'm sorry but this woman is sorry for doing this to you. She should have explained to you her feelings had changed and for you not to come to her. I agree with the previous poster, she is burning all ties and evidence to your marriage. I would protect myself and stay away from her. You may have to contact USCIS and explain what she has done and leave this situation in their hands to settle why she did this without revoking your visa prior to coming! You don't want this woman hurting your chances of ever marrying another US citizen or other cause she will make you look bad that this marrige did not work out and it was on false pretense and not love. You don't want to wait for her to make you look bad to USCIS, even f it means going back to your own country. Afterall, she is the reason you came here correct? Not for a visa? Without her, you may not can stay. She may be asking for your documents too cause she knows she is responsible for you for at least 10 years. I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Edited November 24, 2010 by SweetHome_Alabama

[damilola 0]

well said but how would she spend so much to file for you and will not want you or see you after you arrived in the U.S.

you had a wedding under the pretense of love or what?

your case is one in a thousand even if your marriage will be driven towards ditch you guys would have at least stayed together for a little time.

however i wish you a successful way out of this but i STAND ON THE FENCE on this issue cos unclear to me.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I am sorry this has happened to you. Jim VaPhuong and Anh Map have given you the best advice. Do NOT give her any of the papers that you have. She does not need them but you do. Do not talk with her, but if she is insistent, give her copies and tell her that the originals are in a safe place. See a qualified immigration lawyer. The joint sponsor won't work anymore regardless - it is only valid with your wife's sponsorship of your green card and it appears she is not interested in doing that. Again, I am very sorry that you have been treated like this.

Edited November 24, 2010 by Kathryn41

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Very sorry this has happened to you, it must be a confusing time right now. I agree 100% with the folks here - I don't think your wife is trustworthy with regard to anything. I mean really - she cannot remember her own social and needs you to send her the paper work with it? You are right to think she is being shifty and trying to pull somegthing over on you - I wouldn't trust her...period, end of story. Don't send her anything original (personally I wouldn;t even send her a copy) - she can demand all she wants, you don't owe her a thing. She'll probably beg and plead and say anything to get what she wants - remember that...and then ignore her.

It's going to be difficult, but now you need to think of yourself and pull things together - don't worry one little bit about her or whatever situation she is now in. She hasn't done you any favours and certainly has ignored your feelings.

[deepblue 0]

Thanks every for the support and advice.. for the past two years i was married to her i have try as much as an possible way to support her, even when she was throw out of the house and doesnt have anywhere to go i sent her money to rent an apartment i was the person that provided all this to her i send her alot of money just for us to be at peace,she doesnt work and she doesn't want to do so....

i came here cos i married cos of love i understand maybe the feeling is not there anymore i have also talk to her about marriage counseling but she said she is not ready to attend anything .. well i don't really dont know what to do.. should i fill the adjustment of status with different address ? please you advice is highly needed

thanks

[deepblue 0]

Thanks every for the support and advice.. for the past two years i was married to her i have try as much as an possible way to support her, even when she was throw out of the house and doesnt have anywhere to go i sent her money to rent an apartment i was the person that provided all this to her i send her alot of money just for us to be at peace,she doesnt work and she doesn't want to do so....

i came here cos i married cos of love i understand maybe the feeling is not there anymore i have also talk to her about marriage counseling but she said she is not ready to attend anything .. well i don't really dont know what to do.. should i fill the adjustment of status with different address ? how will i check to see if am still married? who will i go to ?

please you advice is highly needed

thanks