Red flag over religious differences?

[AH_Fury 61]

Not all Muslims are the same as you should know. He was engaged to a Coptic Christian girl 5 years ago. Just because closedmindedness is normal to what you know please dont say what he will do. You dont know him. And please don't say he's either doing one thing or another. He is not trying to convert me and he isnt a fraudster. How dare you say that? Get your facts straight.

You don't seem to know much about Islam, but for your sake, I hope your guy is what he says he is. Good luck.

[Amhara 460]

Not all Muslims are the same as you should know. He was engaged to a Coptic Christian girl 5 years ago. Just because closedmindedness is normal to what you know please dont say what he will do. You dont know him. And please don't say he's either doing one thing or another. He is not trying to convert me and he isnt a fraudster. How dare you say that? Get your facts straight.

Oh, I know I am grabbing a dog by his ears here, but I concur with hsgx2. (Proverbs 26:17) I am not saying that your guy is a passive Muslim or that he is lying to you, but you do want to take her advice a little more softly. There is nothing wrong with thinking of protecting yourself and in our case, discussing such matters has brought us closer together. For example we discussed, "Hey, how do you know I'm not..." This conversation wasn't just about him being a criminal or just having ill intentions, but even how he knows he can trust me and that I don't have immoral qualities in my lifestyle. He even had a friend counsel him on the same thing. "Hey man, how do you know she's not CIA? How do you know she's not going to bring you to America just to kill you?" So it's not just a one-way conversation.

But the reason why I agree with hsgx2 is because if my guy was saying that his opinion of Islam was low without logical explanation or his opinion was the polar opposite and he was expecting me to convert, then I would be suspicious. While I won't go into details of our conversations on this topic, based on my research, you need to be at least aware of these possibilities that hsgx2 brings up. Then that way, you can consider what you would do if different situations came up. You aren't showing a lack of love or faith in your future marriage, you aren't casting doubt on his intentions, you are preparing yourself on how to act the best way "for better or worse"!

Edited April 19, 2015 by Amhara

[cdneh 3,112]

You dont seem to know much about open mindedness and modernity but for the sake of being polite, i hope your wife is who you think she is.

It doesn't matter one whit how open minded you are, or how open minded you think your boyfriend is. He will be going to a very tough, and extremely difficult consulate to get his visa. I don't believe they are open minded in the least. Fairly positive modernity won't be something they will consider either.

You keep posting threads asking questions. You keep getting hostile with people who are trying to help you. You need to stop snapping at people, and try and be a little open minded yourself. What you are trying to accomplish is very difficult. All airy fairy nonsense aside, the difference in your religion is the least of your worries.

USCIS have a distinct set of requirements. You need to meet those. Not close enough, not almost, absolutely.

[Sandra G. 5,016]

I just read your other post and you described that he is a EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS man,and you posted " As he is religious, I could not visit his hotel so he came to the balcony which was three stories up and we talked on the phone while waving to one another", that's the only contact face to face that you had with him. I will be very blunt here.I would be more worry if he is not trying to scam you,like his uncle did with your sister, than if the US Embassy will approve his visa.

I have MANY Muslim friends married to Christians women,my brother in Law is Muslim and married to my sister for 13 years.I visited Syria,Lebanon and Jordan twice,and I never heard anything like you described here.I wish you the best.

[lost_at_sea 995]

I just read your other post and you described that he is a EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS man,and you posted " As he is religious, I could not visit his hotel so he came to the balcony which was three stories up and we talked on the phone while waving to one another", that's the only contact face to face that you had with him. I will be very blunt here.I would be more worry if he is not trying to scam you,like his uncle did with your sister, than if the US Embassy will approve his visa.

I have MANY Muslim friends married to Christians women,my brother in Law is Muslim and married to my sister for 13 years.I visited Syria,Lebanon and Jordan twice,and I never heard anything like you described here.I wish you the best.

I concur. There are definitely conflicting pieces of information here. So religious, they can only meet two storeys apart, but not that religious that he's going to convert to Christianity. I mean... something here does not add up and the OP would be doing herself a favour to investigate this, because the embassy certainly will want to understand why this is how it is. The OP needs to understand exactly how religious he is, why they could not be photographed *in the same room* and how that'll effect their life in America.

[terri_blake 10]

Oh, I know I am grabbing a dog by his ears here, but I concur with hsgx2. (Proverbs 26:17) I am not saying that your guy is a passive Muslim or that he is lying to you, but you do want to take her advice a little more softly. There is nothing wrong with thinking of protecting yourself and in our case, discussing such matters has brought us closer together. For example we discussed, "Hey, how do you know I'm not..." This conversation wasn't about him being a criminal or just having ill intentions, but even how he knows he can trust me and that I don't have immoral qualities in my lifestyle. He even had a friend counsel him on the same thing. "Hey man, how do you know she's not CIA? How do you know she's not going to bring you to America just to kill you?" So it's not just a one-way conversation.

But the reason why I agree with hsgx2 is because if my guy was saying that his opinion of Islam was low without logical explanation or his opinion was the polar opposite and he was expecting me to convert, then I would be suspicious. While I won't go into details of our conversations on this topic, based on my research, you need to be at least aware of these possibilities that hsgx2 brings up. Then that way, you can consider what you would do when different situations came up. You aren't showing a lack of love or faith in your future marriage, you aren't casting doubt on his intentions, you are preparing yourself on how to act the best way "for better or worse"!

Yes i agree that communication will be the key in our relationship being successful. So far, he and i have had some really deep conversations about religion and he showed me how truly open minded and explorative he is. He is lucky to have a big family that has opened their hearts to other cultures and religions. I am not his first Christian girlfriend either so this isn't new to him. He isnt a terrorist. He is an educated loving man with a big heart and lucrative future.

[lost_at_sea 995]

Yes i agree that communication will be the key in our relationship being successful. So far, he and i have had some really deep conversations about religion and he showed me how truly open minded and explorative he is. He is lucky to have a big family that has opened their hearts to other cultures and religions. I am not his first Christian girlfriend either so this isn't new to him. He isnt a terrorist. He is an educated loving man with a big heart and lucrative future.

Because this could be another red flag, I'm going to ask this question and please don't take offence: Where was his previous Christian girlfriend from (who you said in the other thread that he had been engaged to)?

Edited April 19, 2015 by lost_at_sea

[Cody and Daisy 373]

***pessimist, cynical, naysayer identified***

You could say that all about yourself with the lack of information and ironic things you say.

You're very backwards and your story changes a lot.

You don't listen to what people say if you don't like it.

You ignore their questions.

I honestly don't care anymore if you get approved or denied because you shoot down all advice and ignore everything anyone says.

So good luck with your "marriage"

[apple21 953]

To answer your question: YES.

Regardless of my opinion and the others', you only need to convince one person and that is the consul officer (given you reach that point). Gather everything you have.

Good luck!

[cdneh 3,112]

Are you kidding me? Read what others have been trying to force down my throat. SoMeone said my guy is a liar, fraudster, trying to convert me, controlling,etc so when i reply with a corrective response, im the bad guy. Get your facts straight.

Not kidding you.

In all honesty, I don't think you know yourself who he is. You've not actually satisfied the requirement to meet in person. You've not met his family. You can say all you like that they are 'open', but how do you know that? You don't.

[AH_Fury 61]

Not kidding you.

In all honesty, I don't think you know yourself who he is. You've not actually satisfied the requirement to meet in person. You've not met his family. You can say all you like that they are 'open', but how do you know that? You don't.

This is my point in a nutshell.

[terri_blake 10]

I just read your other post and you described that he is a EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS man,and you posted " As he is religious, I could not visit his hotel so he came to the balcony which was three stories up and we talked on the phone while waving to one another", that's the only contact face to face that you had with him. I will be very blunt here.I would be more worry if he is not trying to scam you,like his uncle did with your sister, than if the US Embassy will approve his visa.

I have MANY Muslim friends married to Christians women,my brother in Law is Muslim and married to my sister for 13 years.I visited Syria,Lebanon and Jordan twice,and I never heard anything like you described here.I wish you the best.

Thank you. We are planning a more intimate visit for June

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

For some couples it was no issue and for others it was. It is not a yes or no answer in regards to problems with religious differences and for some to

say that you will or won't have issues with it is just speculation.

It is a part of the whole, meaning what else fits or doesn't fit and what (other) red flags exist.

The core of it all is in spending plenty of time together in real life, not just online and phone time.

If he is limited as to how much time you two can spend together due to his religion, then it must happen in the presence of his family or you will

have problems. They are very concerned if family is not on board with the engagement and a good relationship should exist also between you

and his family with photos to back it up.

He may end up spending several months in AP while they do their investigation on him.

Don't piece meal and fragment any particular issues but keep your focus on the entire picture because that is what the CO will do.

What is right and what is odd in your case all counts. All the pieces must fit together and be convincing to have a successful outcome.

[terri_blake 10]

Not kidding you.

In all honesty, I don't think you know yourself who he is. You've not actually satisfied the requirement to meet in person. You've not met his family. You can say all you like that they are 'open', but how do you know that? You don't.

I havent met his family? His uncle is married to my sister. Get your facts straight.

[Cody and Daisy 373]

Another one attacking me. Bring it on.

That wasn't an attack.

That was a "you never answer anyone so I don't care anymore" response.

I asked you three times about the pictures in your other thread and you ignored me and then finally answered with a post that wasn't even specific.

Other people have asked you very legit questions in this thread and you've ignored them.

No on is attacking you because no one knows you.

Your relationship to you is perfect and to anyone it would be before they get scammed or was the subject of fraud.

People actually try to make you understand that because they don't want someone else to go through that.

No one knows who a person is until they live with them. And you've not even met yours face to face.

Two stories high does not count.

You've never been face to face with your fiancé, you've never spent any real time with him.

And you need to because the Internet and phone calls are not the same.

I knew mine online 7 years before we actually met, and we are both very different in person.

But anything I say here trying to convince you that you need more evidence and you need to actually meet the guy and spend time with him and the fact that religion preventing you from doing this means he is very religious, he will not change his religion for you, and it is a huge red flag.

But I know you will take all this as "mean" and that's very childish of you.

I am not attacking you, I am giving you advice and information that is relevant to a case like yours.

Take it like an adult or don't respond to me.

Because frankly trying to help someone who does not care is not worth the time.