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Wife has maintained relationship with P.I. boyfriend, what can I do?

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I met my wife in 2009 when I was working in the Philippines. I left to move back to the USA but we maintained a long distance relationship until I was able to process her K! and get her here.

A couple of days before she moved here, I received an email from a guy claiming they had been a couple for the last year and he was angry that I was taking his girlfriend away. My wife confirmed this as partially true, but told me that she had stopped seeing him months before. Her boyfriend said that was a lie, in fact, he used to sit there with her while she was skyping me.

I am an idiot, but because I had already gone through with the process and paid for both her dogs and her plane tickets. I agreed to have her come and see how things worked out.

When she got here it was very difficult for me to trust her so we waited until the last moment to get married, almost 3 months exactly. We did not get her SSN because, up until the last minute, I wasn't sure we were even going to marry.

The day after our wedding, I came home to find her on skype with her boyfriend again. I talked to him a bit and he was absolutely shocked that she was in the USA and married. She had told him she was with her family in Davao. We fought, we cried. She told me she was lonely and hated it here, but after a few weeks she wanted to repair things and we began to try.

Not having gotten her SSN within the first 3 months, we now had to file the EADs to get it. I work commission and we had some bad months and I was unable to pay for it until about 2 months ago. We went for biometrics 2 weeks ago.

On saturday night I got home from work and picked her up to get ice cream. While out, the boyfriend emailed me "control your wife while she is alone".

I asked her what was going on and she denied everything, but then he sent me copies of texts between the two of them with her saying I miss you and why are you ignoreing me. He then sent me 3 screenshots of the two of them naked together in skype. She admitted to everything but says its my fault because she was alone too much and I didnt give her enough affection. She has 3 very good filipina friends here who pick her up all the time. Id say she spends 3 to 4 days a week with them and even sleeps over at one of their houses a few times a month, so she definitely has people to talk too.

Over the last couple of days she has gone from wanting to seek counseling together, to outright calling me a selfish MF that is only keeping her here for my personal reasons. Yesterday I took her bank card and today she is telling me the reason she has done the things she has done is because of my treatment of her.

How do I get rid of her? I do not have money for plane tickets, it took me months to save for the EAD. Also, she has her 2 dogs that would require all vaccinations and plane tickets. I do not want to have her living on my couch for the next six months while I save for her and her dogs tickets.

She vows that she will not leave without the dogs and says the government wont deport her because there has been no "physical" adultery on her part.

Any input please?

And yes, I realize Im an idiot. So can we avoid telling me this?

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I'd start with filing for a divorce.

Can she go live with her good friends?


April 27, 2016: I-751 mailed

May 2: I-751 received

May ??? NOA1

May 12: Check cashed

May 31: Biometrics appointment scheduled

June 1: Biometrics appointment letter arrives!

June 2: Biometrics walk-in

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No, as of this latest issue, her girlfriends are no longer supporting her and their husbands do not want them hanging out with them. I have tried.

You are not an idiot, sh*t happens man. Look, you really need to understand that you can't trust her, you need to get a divorce a or even better get an annulment NOW and leave her immediately. If she is talking about you mistreating her, she might file false domestic violence or abuse charges on you and get you arrested, in order to file a vawa for her green card. Get a loan from the bank or friends, get her out of your house and get out of this situation now.

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It hurts to read :(


N400

12/06/2014: Package filed

12/31/2014: Fingerprinted

02/06/2015: In-Line for Interview

04/15/2015: Passed Interview

05/05/2015: Oath letter was sent

05/22/2015: Oath Ceremony

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Put her on a plane back home.

Get a divorce..

Move on.

I agree. Even if you have to take out a loan or borrow the money, if she'll agree to go back home this is the best route for you to take.

if only it was that easy.....

That option is not legally possible if she is not willing

Op says she vows not to leave without the dogs. Sounds like there could be a chance of getting it done.

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I agree. Make it a condition that she returns home and put the dogs on the next plane once she has landed on the other side.

I agree. Even if you have to take out a loan or borrow the money, if she'll agree to go back home this is the best route for you to take.


Op says she vows not to leave without the dogs. Sounds like there could be a chance of getting it done.


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