Withdrew I-864 support

[Almosthome 4]

Six months into marriage, unknown social character traits surfaced with my spouse to the point I said, if your behavior doesn't stop we are headed for divorce.  We courted for over two years and no surprises at all.  Spouse is 58, I'm 62. 

 

My spouse abruptly left about two months ago.  Lessons learned.   She said she went to a women's shelter; she has a free attorney from private women's advocacy. 

 

She tried two times (once before she abandoned the home and once after) unsuccessfully to drag me into court on domestic abuse lies.  The judge dismissed twice because "could not meet burden of proof.   The judge saw an email where my spouse was trying to bribe me for an Breast augmentation to continue giving me sex.  A big bomb drop on my spouse who didn't remember the bribery email. The mail was part of the IMMIGRATION FRAUD package to USCIS.  

 

Today was the green card interview. Her lawyer said she isn't going.  I went to the interview and submitted a two inch thick portfolio of solid evidence my spouse was building evidence for a VAWA Domestic Abuse case.  

 

I also withdrew my I-864 support document. 

 

Please, what are my spouse's chances of being issued a green card under VAWA if I submitted so much evidence to support immigration fraud?  

 

Can any one tell me what my responsibilities are now for support while she is still in limbo, but is gone from our home for good?

Im filing separation papers tomorrow. Thanks for any insight. 

 

 

[milimelo 4,197]

No responsibilities. You withdrew I864. What did IO say when you pulled it - did he acknowledge it? Did she come on K1 visa? 

 

Divorce and move on. USCIS will not tell you if she is successful in VAWA or not. You did what you could by providing evidence you have. 

[Almosthome 4]

1 minute ago, milimelo said:

No responsibilities. You withdrew I864. What did IO say when you pulled it - did he acknowledge it? Did she come on K1 visa? 

 

Divorce and move on. USCIS will not tell you if she is successful in VAWA or not. You did what you could by providing evidence you have. 

Yes, two IOS.  Both raised their eyebrows and shook their heads in disbelief; especially the bribery email. 

 

Spouse was K-1. Thanks. 

 

What about divirce?  My state has A one-year separation requirements before a divorce can be issued. Am I liable for any support right now or during the separation?

 

[Transborderwife 4,666]

2 minutes ago, Almosthome said:

Yes, two IOS.  Both raised their eyebrows and shook their heads in disbelief; especially the bribery email. 

 

Spouse was K-1. Thanks. 

 

What about divirce?  My state has A one-year separation requirements before a divorce can be issued. Am I liable for any support right now or during the separation?

 

Unlikely as for the short duration of the marriage.  Separate everything possible and move on.  If she gets VAWA, then she gets VAWA.  Move on.  You've done all that you can.

[Almosthome 4]

Thanks for the info. 

[Almosthome 4]

29 minutes ago, Transborderwife said:

Unlikely as for the short duration of the marriage.  Separate everything possible and move on.  If she gets VAWA, then she gets VAWA.  Move on.  You've done all that you can.

What if we decide to get back together during the separation?  Any comments are appreciated 

[milimelo 4,197]

Are you serious? 

[Almosthome 4]

5 hours ago, milimelo said:

Are you serious? 

Of course I'm serious.  You don't know the entire set of dynamics of this relationship. 

 

I forgive my wife.  She had a very bad life in her country.  She belonged to the communist party.  She was brain washed by controlling men to be their slave for whatever they wanted. Here she hopefully gets the psychological support she needs from counselors.  On her good side she was an incredible kind woman that I have never experienced before. But on her bad side she allowed certain character traits that had manifested and previous bad actors she was associated with in her former life in her country enter our marriage.  The pull of the devil got the best of her.  I reacted with anger and a fight spirit to ward off these bad character traits and former very close male friends, that she brought with her from her former life in her native country in Russia.  But the pull

of the devil was too strong on her. My influence from being a Deacon of our church, was too strong for her to endure any longer, this is why she left. 

 

All my grand parents came here for a better life too. I pray that she gets the support to change her past life from her country. Not all people are evil that come here to have an opportunity to change. Of course my outlook on my wife is not the same for a terrorist.  However, I do pray for all Devils in this world to grasp the teachings of our Father God so they too change to promote a peaceful environment. 

 

Remember what Jesus's last words were  on the cross:  http://kingjbible.com/m/luke/23.htm. "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.

 

i forgive my wife.  Had I taken more consideration for what I know she experienced, and given her more support instead of anger and the instinct to fight to protect the security of our marriage, we would still be together.  I pray someday we get back together under a more Godly relationship. 

 

 I learned a lot of good things from her too. 

 

Take care milmelo

 

 

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

6 hours ago, Almosthome said:

Of course I'm serious.  You don't know the entire set of dynamics of this relationship. 

 

I forgive my wife.  She had a very bad life in her country.  She belonged to the communist party.  She was brain washed by controlling men to be their slave for whatever they wanted. Here she hopefully gets the psychological support she needs from counselors.  On her good side she was an incredible kind woman that I have never experienced before. But on her bad side she allowed certain character traits that had manifested and previous bad actors she was associated with in her former life in her country enter our marriage.  The pull of the devil got the best of her.  I reacted with anger and a fight spirit to ward off these bad character traits and former very close male friends, that she brought with her from her former life in her native country in Russia.  But the pull

of the devil was too strong on her. My influence from being a Deacon of our church, was too strong for her to endure any longer, this is why she left. 

 

All my grand parents came here for a better life too. I pray that she gets the support to change her past life from her country. Not all people are evil that come here to have an opportunity to change. Of course my outlook on my wife is not the same for a terrorist.  However, I do pray for all Devils in this world to grasp the teachings of our Father God so they too change to promote a peaceful environment. 

 

Remember what Jesus's last words were  on the cross:  http://kingjbible.com/m/luke/23.htm. "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.

 

i forgive my wife.  Had I taken more consideration for what I know she experienced, and given her more support instead of anger and the instinct to fight to protect the security of our marriage, we would still be together.  I pray someday we get back together under a more Godly relationship. 

 

 I learned a lot of good things from her too. 

 

Take care milmelo

 

 

IFyou are so concerned about your spouse and are ready to forgive then why take extreme measures to hinder her immigration process.

You can't just use the legal system as a pawn for the "dynamics" of your relationship. It's like when people call police for DV and drop charges or fail to file charges and every time, there's an issue, they are dead sure they want nothing to do with the person.

No one can prevent you from been victimized but please stop using the system as your pawn. 

[Ash.1101 1,755]

I agree with the others.


If you care enough about your future ex to possibly get back with her after  all of what you just said, then you should care enough to not hinder her immigration status.


Or is your logic that you'll get with her if she stays in the country and that if she leaves it's no big deal, because that sounds pretty awful too.



I don't believe you have forgiven you wife, or else you wouldn't have done everything you can to hinder her from staying in the country. And not only are you hindering her from staying in the country, but with all this evidence you gave USCIS, you probably made it so she may never get back into the country even if she wanted back in, or you wanted her back and bring her back in. There have been people here who have helped their exes in their immigration journeys at EVERY step of the way, even coming to interviews after the divorce to help their ex. What you did was  the polar opposite of helping, aiding, forgiving, or compassion.


With that said, for someone that says they're so understanding and they get why their future ex wife is the way they are, your response to everything is the opposite of someone that seems like they want to help.


She'll probably be gone for good. I highly recommend not trying to get back with her while she's here. Clearly you both have things you need to work on.


If we're going to use verses: 

Colossians 3:12
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Corinthians 1:3-4
 

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 

4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Edited March 31, 2017 by Ash.1101

[Almosthome 4]

28 minutes ago, Ash.1101 said:

I agree with the others.


If you care enough about your future ex to possibly get back with her after  all of what you just said, then you should care enough to not hinder her immigration status.


Or is your logic that you'll get with her if she stays in the country and that if she leaves it's no big deal, because that sounds pretty awful too.



I don't believe you have forgiven you wife, or else you wouldn't have done everything you can to hinder her from staying in the country. And not only are you hindering her from staying in the country, but with all this evidence you gave USCIS, you probably made it so she may never get back into the country even if she wanted back in, or you wanted her back and bring her back in. There have been people here who have helped their exes in their immigration journeys at EVERY step of the way, even coming to interviews after the divorce to help their ex. What you did was  the polar opposite of helping, aiding, forgiving, or compassion.


With that said, for someone that says they're so understanding and they get why their future ex wife is the way they are, your response to everything is the opposite of someone that seems like they want to help.


She'll probably be gone for good. I highly recommend not trying to get back with her while she's here. Clearly you both have things you need to work on.


If we're going to use verses: 

Colossians 3:12
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Corinthians 1:3-4
 

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 

4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

You are absolutely right. I'm here at USCIS to withdraw the charge and reinstate my sponsorship.  After intense prayer with God, I woke up and had a change of heart.  

 

you are correct, both of us could have prevented this outcome, but it was not God's plan. I am content with my decision to withdraw the charge and continue sponsoring.  Initially I thought I could be charged for a crime if I sponsored someone who I suspect is committing immigration fraud, but I'll take the advice of folks here.  Thanks 

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

1 hour ago, Almosthome said:

You are absolutely right. I'm here at USCIS to withdraw the charge and reinstate my sponsorship.  After intense prayer with God, I woke up and had a change of heart.  

 

you are correct, both of us could have prevented this outcome, but it was not God's plan. I am content with my decision to withdraw the charge and continue sponsoring.  Initially I thought I could be charged for a crime if I sponsored someone who I suspect is committing immigration fraud, but I'll take the advice of folks here.  Thanks 

You could be an accomplice, who knows?

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

If you get back together then I suggest intense marriage counseling.

 

If she can't adjust status through you then she will have to go back home.

 

The IO will roll his eyes again when or if you both show up for a stokes interview.

There will be scrutiny.

[millefleur 5,035]

Wait a minute, let me chime in here.

 

The Communist Party was an elite group for Soviet citizens: only around 1% of Soviets were card carrying members. If she had been in the party, should would have been the political elite and had a high quality life in the USSR. I know this because my husband's grandmother and father were members. It sounds to me like she's seriously trying to drum up sympathy by playing that line, which appears to be at least a half-lie. I've also had abusive ex's but it sounds like she's the one abusing you now, sorry. Two wrongs don't make a right. :/

 

You're talking about Jesus and breast implant requests at the same time when you're describing your relationship dynamics. I mean, I know different strokes for different folks but.....I'm a Christian myself so I'm not knocking your faith but...you might want to just think it over what this woman's priorities are. There's the "devil made me do it" argument and then there is just using someone to get what they want...call it what you want, the Devil or her past experience, it's selfish by another name. There's a time to forgive people and there's a time to realize that you yourself will end up a victim of someone else's bad behavior. In this case, it could lead to immigration fraud.

 

You can always consider getting back together, but from the IO's point of view, this isn't looking very good at all. While Russia isn't a super high fraud country, it's also not the easiest either. Russians don't have the best rep for being honest internationally. If they end up thinking she's a fraudster, that's beyond your control whether you forgive her or not.

 

Best of luck. 

 

 

Edited March 31, 2017 by millefleur

[Hopeful diva 99]

17 hours ago, Almosthome said:

What if we decide to get back together during the separation?  Any comments are appreciated 

Damage already done