I dont get along with my stepdad and he threatened to send us back to the Philippines (newbie here) :)

[dwightcharles 12]

So I just moved to the US in 2012 along with my other siblings. I currently have a green card and I am a permanent resident. Since I got here, I didn't really like my stepdad. I tried to look through his flaws but it just made me hate him even more. :C

He shouts at my mom. He complains about almost everything, including bills to why there's no more ice cream in the fridge. I just do not get it. I am 22 and I really want to move out of this house. I just don't get it. I am already working and I earn around $780 biweekly. I give him $250 biweekly for my share in this house and so does my sister. We pay for our own things, from deo to shampoo to lunch for work. He still complains in our face about bills and all that. He whines about the miles on his car, the gas, and all that.

My mom works really hard. She has a tough and challenging job and when she gets home, she even cooks a separate dinner for him and serves him. The whole day he's just playing in the computer. He shouts a lot to my mom and it hurts and annoys me. I wish I could do something but I havent really gotten past my boiling point yet to stand up for her.

There's just so many things already that he's done that made us cry, my mom, my sisters, even my younger brother. There was also one time, we had pork roast for dinner and I had ketchup with it, he went like "Now I just feel like you are insulting me. Ketchup is meant to be used for cheap meats." and then when my younger sister explained how we like to use ketchup in the Philippines, he said this: "That's because you're poor in the Philippines!" and that was it for me. I just hated him so much after that. He also accused us just recently of stealing $20 from his little bank box and we're like WHAT THE?!!!? WHY WOULD I STILL $20 from youuuuu!!!????? why would we still $20 PERIOD???? and he warned us that no one can ever enter their room or else "there would be hell to pay."

And also my mom has been crying because of him a lot lately and since my mom cannot really confront him, my step dad thinks that we are the one who are making her cry.

I am just soooo tired of it. So we are no longer talking to him. When he asks us question, of course, we do respond but other than that we're cold and we just hate him.

And just tonight, my sister told me that she learned from my mom that my stepdad is threatening to send us back to the Philippines because were no longer talking to him.

Can he actually do that? My mom filed the petition and not him. Do you guys think that he can actually do this to us?

I'm just like tired of it. I feel like I am better off moving out and renting my own apartment rather than being here in his house and I feel miserable.

Thank you.

Edited January 20, 2014 by dwightcharles

[apple21 953]

He cannot send you back. You're not a piece of merchandise.

Move out and be happy. ?

[dwightcharles 12]

He cannot send you back. You're not a piece of merchandise.

Move out and be happy. ?

Really??? It just makes me sooo scared. I mean I do want to go back to the Philippines but I have already applied to one of the Art schools here in the US and I really wanted to go there and now that he is saying this, I feel so helpless cuz I dont know where I stand. I do want to move out. It's just been hell here to say the least.

[aleful 1,905]

hi

ditto, move out on your own, you are 22 and if things are bad, so can you mom and your family

[dwightcharles 12]

hi

ditto, move out on your own, you are 22 and if things are bad, so can you mom and your family

But can he actually take legal actions to request for us to be sent back to the Philippines? I mean I already have a green card and all, does it matter?

Do you know any legal facts that he cannot do this?

[JnRMo 16]

He cannot send you back. You're not a piece of merchandise.

Move out and be happy. ?

Yeah, I'd recommend getting out - maybe getting a room with your sisters for the time being. Unfortunately, not sure what your mom can do about things.

[Hypnos 6,576]

Do you have a 2 year or 10 year green card?

[SteveXXJuliet 27]

You aren't 15, you aren't 17, you aren't even 21.

Hit the road Jack!

You said it--your quote: "I am better off moving out and renting my own apartment."

Yeauuuuuuuuuh.....

He can no more send you back than he can send me back to Ireland (hint: my forbears come here around 1856).

Screw art school for the time being--I mean really--I am not putting you down--I went to Art school and loved it...and lived off of it for 30 years and now wished that I hadn't--because my Social Security payment would be diddly.

Get out'a there... go bring art to the people on your own.

Even Vincet Van Gough was accepted at the Art Academy at Antwerp, Belgium--and he went and quit. Did it hurt him?

G'mon, grow some...uh paint brushes--move out!!!!!!!!

[dwightcharles 12]

Do you have a 2 year or 10 year green card?

Hi Hypnos. I have a 10 year green card sir. it will expire 11/19/2022. What does it mean?

[ManCharsey 254]

Whether he petitions or not for you and your siblings. He can not send you back to the Philippines. It is very discomforting that some US petitioners do this to their families because in their heads they feel that because they were a factor in the immigration process, they are mini gods whom the world revolves around. That's bad and very sad. I would urge you guys to find your own apartment and move out.

Even though I think it is absolutely wrong on his part to do this, I also feel like sometimes people do not know how to cope with living with people. Everyone has flaws and the number 1 rule about being able to co-exist with someone is to have tolerance for them and to expound love towards them despite their flaws. I believe he's probably frustrated suddenly living with a number of people who are his wife's children but not directly his own. I can understand his frustration but then he made the choice to marry your mother so it's inexcusable. So yes move out and live your lives because he has absolutely NO power over your immigration matters. Hopefully your moving out will restore some calm between him and your wife. If it does not and he still continues being abusive and a jerk, then I guess your mom has to make some tough calls and perhaps move out.

[Hypnos 6,576]

If you had a two year card you might have to worry about needing his co-operation to file to removal of conditions, but since yours is ten years then that is not a concern.

Leave and do not look back.

Edited January 20, 2014 by Hypnos

[dwightcharles 12]

Whether he petitions or not for you and your siblings. He can not send you back to the Philippines. It is very discomforting that some US petitioners do this to their families because in their heads they feel that because they were a factor in the immigration process, they are mini gods whom the world revolves around. That's bad and very sad. I would urge you guys to find your own apartment and move out.

Even though I think it is absolutely wrong on his part to do this, I also feel like sometimes people do not know how to cope with living with people. Everyone has flaws and the number 1 rule about being able to co-exist with someone is to have tolerance for them and to expound love towards them despite their flaws. I believe he's probably frustrated suddenly living with a number of people who are his wife's children but not directly his own. I can understand his frustration but then he made the choice to marry your mother so it's inexcusable. So yes move out and live your lives because he has absolutely NO power over your immigration matters. Hopefully your moving out will restore some calm between him and your wife. If it does not and he still continues being abusive and a jerk, then I guess your mom has to make some tough calls and perhaps move out.

Thank you for this. Apparently, he has been divorced 2 times already and even his real daughter knows how he is. I just cant stand it anymore. I can no longer bear seeing my mom, and my younger sister who is just 13 crying over such matters that should be kept private for adults to solve.

Sometimes, I just ask myself for how long do we have to put up with all of these? When is enough. When my real dad was still alive, I never saw my mom cry. I never saw my mom cry like this. She even expresses all her anger towards us because she cannot confront my stepdad.

My mom actually already wanted to move out too but she doesnt know what her options are.

[Cathi 5,616]

move out and don't look back.

[dwightcharles 12]

If you had a two year card you might have to worry about needing his co-operation to file to removal of conditions, but since yours is ten years then that is not a concern.

Leave and do not look back.

OH WOW. this is awesome!

I dont like the idea that he will actually threaten us that way. We will leave and hopefully soon.

Thank you Hypnos.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

1) Sir, please move out already. You're 22 and working. Provide a safe place for your Mum and Sister.

2) Not for the OP but a pet peeve of mine. People, please participate in the immigration process with your parents as much as you can. Be involved in the process, get to know your new step parent, vet him properly. You should have a st of different requirements than your parents and make sure as much as you can that there is a compatibility there.