TBoneTX

FBI Assures Nation It Will Put Its Most Diverse Agents On Terror Case NEW ORLEANS, LA — In the wake of the deadly New Year's terrorist attack on Bourbon Street, the Federal Bureau of Investigation assured concerned Americans that it would put its most diverse agents to work on the terror case. Shamsud-Din Jabbar intentionally drove a truck through a street crowded with pedestrians before exiting the vehicle and opening fire, leaving FBI officials scrambling to assign its most inclusive team of agents to investigate the attack. "The most important aspect of this case is diversity," said FBI spokesperson Rachel Jennings. "While we understand there are a lot of questions about the incident, we want the public to rest easy knowing that above all else, the agents working on this case will be from the most underrepresented segments of the populace. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-assures-nation-it-will-put-its-most-diverse-agents-on-terror-case

UK Labour Party Collapsing In on Its Unpopular Self There's nothing like being trapped in a good old-fashioned 'Pit of Despair.' Especially when you dug it yourself! And, by George, that's where Sir Keir Starmer is finding his Labour party right now - wallowing in self-made misery with no obvious way to climb out. Looking for reasons why life is so awful for the party swept into power in July after rousting Rishi Sunak's bumbling Tory fools from power, Starmer doesn't have to search too diligently. In fact, a mirror would do nicely as a starting point. [...] https://hotair.com/tree-hugging-sister/2025/01/02/uk-labour-party-collapsing-in-on-its-unpopular-self-n3798431

From college campuses to Afghanistan, we let Islamic terrorism rise again Let's all give a big shout-out to the "Globalize the intifada" crowd. You got your way! Congratulations. Hope it feels good. For years, citizens of Israel have had maniac jihadists driving at them and trying to mow them down on their streets. But this got only cheers from the dolts on US college campuses and New York street protesters. Then, just before Christmas, Germany again got a taste of this "intifada." That was when a Saudi immigrant decided to plow a vehicle through a previously happy Christmas market. He killed five people and injured almost 200. Then, on New Year's, it was America’s turn again. This time, the wishes of the students at Columbia and other college campuses arrived on the streets of New Orleans. A man carrying an ISIS flag drove a pickup through New Year's revelers, killing 14 people and seriously injuring dozens more. The FBI is looking into his network of contacts. There are several things to say about all this. [...] https://nypost.com/2025/01/02/opinion/douglas-murray-from-college-campuses-to-afghanistan-we-let-islamic-terrorism-rise-again/

The 'intifada' comes to New Orleans 'Bring the intifada home!', cried Ivy League radicals throughout 2024. Well, here it is. On the bloodstained, wreckage-strewn streets of New Orleans. In the shattered limbs of the injured, the extinguished promise of the dead. The very Islamist violence that the West's woke influencers have been making excuses for, have been glorifying as 'resistance', have openly praised from the safety of their leafy campuses, has now struck at the heart of America's own Big Easy. Is this what you wanted? [...] https://www.spiked-online.com/2025/01/02/the-intifada-comes-to-new-orleans/

This is a NICE article. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Year Offers Legacy Media a Chance for Redemption A new year brings hope for a fresh start. No one needs a reset more than the legacy media, which has lost most people's trust through its failure to report the news without fear or favor. Luckily, the New York Times, Washington Post, NPR, AP, CNN, and all the rest have a chance to make amends thanks to a barnburner of a scandal – the years-long efforts to hide President Biden's diminished capacities even as his administration pursued transformational policies. Unpeeling this rotten onion would allow news outlets to showcase their reporting chops on a massive story they were deeply complicit in covering up. They would have to detail not only White House perfidy but their own. [...] https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2025/01/01/new_year_offers_legacy_media_a_chance_for_redemption_152151.html

Post content intended to degrade, intimidate, or incite violence or prejudicial action against a broad demographic or group of primates identified by a unifying trait or characteristic! Reported!!!!!

Thrilling Thursday report, see man: Mini-B. & we slept in again, lazy Two Guys man. We awoke an hour before alarm, man. We dished/de-dished the warsher early, domestic we man. We did a long-delayed minor kitchen project, accomplish we man. Lunch for Mini-B. was 2 chicken melts, ingest wee man. Lunch for us was toucans of chicken noodle soup*, ingest we man. *bought on discount from dented-can display, financially savvy we man We went to supermarket to up-stock on Powerade Zero grape flavor, Many (2x2x2x2) bought man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. came in late afternoon to lecture Mini-B. about skool grades, failing Inglish wee man man. We participated by giving basketball analogies, resourceful we man. Din-din was Shepherd's Pie from Aldi, ingest Two Guys man. Movie night was Rush Hour, OK and watch Two Guys man. Many (2+2+2) -- si man, Many (2+2+2) -- bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. This tallies to Many (2x2x2x2 -1) for the week, quota nicely exceeded man. We should run a couple of errands for Mama T-B. on Friday, obligated we man. Only 1 GS and 1 ES anywhere nearby, thin selection man. No chicas to contact, back to zero man. And that was/is our thrilling Thursday, report we man.

Pretty clear but not Many00% clear, upon re-reading by we man D ma'am. For how long, huh man? This has been a confirmed fact for a great many years, si D ma'am.

How long to wait, huh man? We cannot control others' invitation lists, no man. Do not insult fine cuisine, no man! Canadia ranking precised, see and si and man.

Related threads have been merged.

FBI Confirms Terrorist Attack By Stating 'This Is Not A Terrorist Attack' NEW ORLEANS, LA — The FBI announced today that the horrific scene in New Orleans was not a terrorist attack, thereby confirming to the nation that it was, in fact, a terrorist attack. The Bureau further stated that the perpetrator had no ties to Islam, letting the nation know that he was an Islamic terrorist. "Judging from the ISIS flag on the truck driven by a man named Shamsud-Din Jabbar to commit mass murder, we see no sign that this attack was terrorism," explained FBI spokesman Dean Richmond. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-confirms-terrorist-attack-by-stating-this-is-not-a-terrorist-attack

Some good observations here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Welcome to the New Normal Perhaps the real message of last November's election is not that Donald Trump won, but that woke progressivism lost. After all, though Trump has flaws, he at least lives in the real world and not in some ideological fantasy. It is also fairly likely that, in the four years since he left office, he has improved his presidential abilities. For example: He is less likely to be so easily goaded into overreacting to his critics… also known as taking the bait. Meanwhile, the spoiled children of the Left are running around convinced that their hair is on fire. Some are digging foxholes while others are drifting towards the center. This is most obvious in the media, since they are in the business of being obvious. Also, California's Gavin ("Hair Gel") Newsom is trying to [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2025/01/welcome_to_the_new_normal.html

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man: We & Mini-B. slept in, up too late Two Guys man. Lunch for Mini-B. was 2 corn dogs, ingest wee man. Lunch for us was 2 turkey-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man. Collected Mama T-B. for 2-p.m. informal social at Cousinette T-B.'s casa, not long drive man. Present were Cousinette T-B./husband, Aunt T-B., Mama T-B., we man, wee man, and ex-Mrs.-T-B. man. It was quite pleasant, nice time man. Din-din was effectively chicken salad-on-croissant sandwiches, ingest Many we man. Mini-B. had Many of the above + Many cookies, ingest Many + cookies wee man. Assisted Mama T-B. afterward, assist we and wee and ex-she man senior she man man. We delivered pills to Uncle T-B., convenient to do man. Really needed siesta after all this, nod off during evening news we man. Did not get much of one, no man. Mini-B. still playing computer game with amigo, probably desperately tired but will deny it wee man. Mini-B. finally requested din-din, hungry wee man. This was Incomplete Tuna Glop, just rice + tuna man. He then had a tiramisu cake slice donated by Mama T-B., ingest wee man. Nothing formal planned on Thursday, no man. Will take Mama T-B.'s Medicare Plan card to pharmacy to update it, si man. And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.

Oh, great, whoopee man. Maybe we should simply send the JC an e-mail for self-closure and never expect to hear back, si and no man.

Thanks for the update. Keep the information coming.

Spending money on name brands when store brands suffice, too spendthrifty for us man.

If someone's phone blocks a text-sender, does the sender get an indication somehow, huh man?

Courtesy of Neonred. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Big Lots reaches deal to keep hundreds of stores open. Here's what we know. Some Big Lots stores, and jobs, will be saved. Is your store closing? On Friday, Dec. 27, the chain announced that 200 to 400 stores will be sold to Gordon Brother Retail Partners LLC. Big Lots assets including property and distribution centers will be transferred to Variety Wholesalers Inc. That group runs more than 400 stores in the southeast and mid-Atlantic under the following names: Roses, Roses Express, Maxway, Bill's Dollar Stores, Super 10, Super Dollar and Bargain Town. Earlier this month, Big Lots Inc. announced that going out of business sales would start at all U.S. locations. The nationwide discount store chain said in a news release that a previously announced sale to Nexus Capital Management would not be finished as scheduled. With the most recent news release covering a range of hundreds of stores, the final list of places that will close is not likely to be finalized yet. The agreement is also subject to bankruptcy court approval. [...] https://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/2024/12/31/big-lots-reaches-deal-to-keep-hundreds-of-stores-open/77326681007/

Obviously Amish.

Well, this explains some confusing discussion that we had at our Big Lots yesterday, si man. They were talking about "we were hoping that we would stay open, si man," si man. They said that their own closure was a matter of rent-disagreement with greedy landlord, si man. Anyway, the newly saved stores will be embarrassed if they have to stop their "out of business" sales, awkward man. Si and sigh man, si and sigh man. We want to have a closure conversation at least, si and sigh man.

The Babylon Bee's Predictions For 2025 A new year is upon us, with the sun setting on the darkness and despair that once was and hope rising again like the morning sun. Or something like that. What is in store for the world in 2025? We at The Babylon Bee know exactly what's coming because we are prophets. Here's what you can expect. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bees-predictions-for-2025

Trump Names Buc-ee's Beaver Secretary Of Transportation WASHINGTON, D.C. — President-elect Donald Trump has just named Buc-ee the Beaver as his Secretary of Transportation in a move bringing joy to millions of drivers across the country. According to Trump, Buc-ee has an excellent track record of experience within transportation, and the Texan beaver should play a pivotal role in cleaning up America's rest stops, gas stations, and roadside restaurants. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-names-buc-ee-the-beaver-as-secretary-of-transportation

This sounds like a GOOD idea. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The New Media: White House Press Briefings to Include Podcasters and Independent Journalists President-Elect Donald Trump's incoming Press Secretary says expect 2025's White House press briefings to look different from past administrations. Karoline Leavitt says she's opening up the room to podcasters and independent journalists. That's bad news for the dying legacy media, and good news for the rest of us. Here's more. (READ) [...] https://twitchy.com/warren-squire/2024/12/31/trump-leavitt-press-brief-room-will-reflect-2024-n2405963

It is Wednesday, and a new year. Our VAWA-Thread Jokes have elicited approvals and good news in countless cases (that is, if correlation = causation), and they will work for your case, too. Here is our inaugural 2025 and Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== FOLLOW THE PLOW A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snowplow to come by, and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snowplow came by. She followed it for about 45 minutes. Finally, the plow's driver got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snowstorm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot; do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

Thrilling Tuesday-on-Wednesday report, see man: Breakfast/lunch for Mini-B. was 2 chicken melts, ingest wee man. Breakfast/lunch for us was onecan of Chunky chicken noodle soup*, ingest we man. *bought on discount from a supermarket dented-can bin, financially savvy we man We erranded, errand we man. Used up coupons at CVS, financially savvy we man. Got stuff on sale at Big Lots, stores closing forever man. This included their last 2 jugs of Cat's Pride miu-litter, one of the only two worth a poop man. Gassed the T-B.-mobile at Costco, Manycember Many'st tradition man. We T-B.-mobiled Many,000 miles last year, calculate we man. Din-din was nuked mixed vegetables + nuked On-Cor salisbury steaks in gravy, ingest Two Guys man. A wonderful siesta was then taken, finally zzz we man. Sent cheery text to the JC, radio silence man. Movie night was Trading Places, watch Two Guys man. Many (2+2+1) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. We are only one away from double-figure weekly quota, ahead of power curve Two Guys man. Consumed one Manyzen grapes at midnight, south-of-border tradition for good luck we man. Trying to get Mini-B. embedded before too much later, embed we man wee man man. Fireworks idiots trying to burn down entire neighborhood, can't do nuffin' we man. Cousinette T-B. throwing small Gnu Year party on Wednesday afternoon, stupid but oh well man. We, Mama T-B., Mini-B., and ex-Mrs.-T-B. are among the few invitees, obligated to go we man. And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.