TBoneTX

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It's Wednesday -- time for our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= JUST WONDERING An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, yellow, and purple. The old man just stared. The young man said sarcastically, "What's the matter, old-timer? Never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "I got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

That's why I brought it up.

Was hoping that you'd weigh in on it. Denver probably has as big an influence on the state's statistics as does Portland on Oregon's.

Yes, perhaps DEI deserves a dedicated thread; we've mostly been mixing it in with the "universities" thread.

The language barrier can be daunting. E.g., whenever I try to say anything in Spanish, the natives look terrified and urgently point me toward the nearest restroom.

She's probably very well pleased that you're trained so well. By the way, anniversary of naturalization coming again next month.

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man: We got ourself ready, in large help from a caffeine pill man. Went to lobby to check out, disgruntled we man. Desk clerk, whom we recognized from previous stays, took notes about our complaints, diligent he man. He promised to raise them with the manager, trust we he man. (We had used hotel points for this stay, so no T-B. expense and no refund, no and no man.) Clerk did readily agree to store our 2 luggages, otherwise melt in rental T-B.-mobile man. We hit the U..S.-side parking lot at half-past Many (2x2x2) a.m., delayed by motel caucus we man. We scored a superb parking-space, Winter Texans all long-gone man. It was already over Many (2x2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2x2) degrees F. and soupy-humid, beyond awful man. We looked & saw the tents of illegals pitched all along the Mexican half of the inbound side, grrrRRR man. On the Mexican side, the hawkers were assaultively hawking us, buy this see this dentist visit this pharmacy for cheapest prices man. We went to bloodwork lab, very long 2-block walk man. Our thickest sweatband was already hosed by the time we reached the place, like in August man. Lab chicas all recognized us, long-time customer we man. Bodily fluids were produced, accommodating we man. For the stellar price of $Many ($Many00 / 2), full lab results would be in our hands in 2 hours, some deal man. Went another long 2-block walk to dentist, appointment previously set man. On the way, tried to find optometrist chica's place, always moves it she man. Was shown it and it wasn't open yet, no man. Inadequate time anyway, so went to dentist, original plan man. Super-foxy hygienist clean-teethed and Zoom-teethed us, radiate in the dark orally we man. Went to optometrist, visit we man. Chica herself wasn't there, no man. Fat chica and optician collaborated on frames and refraction exam, good teamwork man. We paid $Many ($2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2x2x2 +2) for the following, see (ha ha) man: -- refraction exam, squint we man -- Izod frames, stylish we man -- high-index progressive bifocals coated with (?) polyacrylate, whee man -- mailing to us at the casa in about a week, usual process man Returned to lab to retrieve fluid levels, apprehensive we man. Usual items were hosed about the same as ever, nothing threaten-lifing man. A few more items were also very slightly hosed, we man. We wanted a nearly clean report like we've often had, man. Went next door to barber, convenient man. Kid who'd done us the last 2 times was no longer there, disappeared man. We saw a barber pole across the street, next block man. Went there and got our hairs cut for $Many ($2+2+2) -- si man, $Many ($2+2+2) -- steal man. Walked a couple of blocks up to old family-type doctor, clean our ears man. His door was locked, perhaps early lunchtime man. Nearby parking-attendant aggressively volunteered to help us, si man. He shouted toward doc's gated house behind office, but to no avail man. He suggested that we both try later, si man. Our sweatband and indeed most of our attire was drenched by now, full sunlight during all this man. We considered lunching at usual place, but too expensive now man. We reversed direction and walked a long Many or Many blocks, but saw no restaurant man. We finally asked a local, ask we man local he man. Local recommended a place 2 blocks further down and on side street, perspirational we man. We did not spot this place but found another, looked promising and air-conditioned man. We entered and found a seat under an A/C vent, crucial by now man. From menu, we ordered an enchilada plate, order we man. The waitress asked, and we opted for chicken enchiladas, hard to hose those man. The large oval plate contained small lettuce/tomato salad, rice, refried beans, and at least half-a-Manyzen enchiladas that were more like large browned flautas than corn- or flour-tortilla enchiladas, noted we man. They had fresh shredded cheese (goat?) liberally sprinkled atop them, appetizing-looking man. We took a Joya cola, of some undescribed reddish-brown Mexican flavor, from the fridge, grab we man. This lunch was highly palatable and filling, ingest and enjoy greatly we man. Lunch + cola cost only $Many ($2+2+2+1) -- si man, $Many ($2+2+2+1) -- indescribable deal man. This place is a lonnnnnng way out of the way, but we plan to return, wonderful man. Returned to doctor's office, persistent we man. Parking-guy assisted, aggressive he man. By shouting, guy got doc's wife to get doc to open his office for us, success man. We tipped parking-guy $1, what he was after all along man. Doc saw us perspiring and turned on the A/C in his office for us, kindly doc man. Doc out-flushed our ears, not as bad as usual but also 2 weeks earlier than usual man. Doc then kept us there in the A/C to chat for over half an hour, thoughtful doc man. He is Many (2x2x2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2 -1) years old but still quite with it, si man. His English has improved since I've known him, although he interacts with very few gringos man. We had an extremely pleasant chat about all kinds of topics, pleasant interesting doc man. We paid our usual half-of-$Many00 for the ear job, quite a deal and well worth it man. We then began our pharmacy run, obligatory man. We went to the comparatively expensive chain store, si man. We carefully looked through their 2-Manyzen-page monthly sales flyer, inspect we man. We spotted our most expensive HSM for "buy 2, get a Many'rd free," hmmm man. A clerk fortuitously spoke a little English, unusual there man. He said that we needed to join their frequent-shopper program to get the deal, fine with us man. The Many (2+1) HSMs thus cost us $Many ($2x2x2x2 + 2x2x2 +1) less than the next-best deal in town, financially savvy we man. Furthermore, we are probably the only member of the Rant thread to be a member of this program, take that man. See https://www.benavides.com.mx , prices in Pesos man. We hit 2 other pharmacies for ourself and an amigo, always must buy something for someone we man. The last place had the strongest fan blowing anywhere in town, strong sales attraction man. We had a very pleasant conversation with that pharmacist/owner, temperature-savvy we man. We then went to a discount store to get some really unhealthy treats for Mini-B., Eat What We Want When We Want Two Guys man. Inside was a cage that held a lively green parrot who talked loquaciously in Spanish, hilarious man. Somewhat after 2 p.m., we decided to head back across the bridge, return we man. We walked past yards & yards of tents of really savory-looking illegals, high blood pressure we man. We blessed the appreciative CBP agents at the international border, flash our blue passport we man. Inside the port, we weren't given much grilling by the CBP agent, no man. The parking lot was quite a bit more full than when we'd arrived, early bird gets the parking space man. We changed our shirt & sweatband in full sun, nearly impossible but crucial job man. We went to a Salvation Army to donate stuff that neither Mini-B. nor we cared to see again, best to donate such stuff far out of town man. We looked carefully for attire for Mini-B. but found nothing acceptable, good eye for flaws we man. We then went to local site of Favorite Large Thrift Store, discount day* man. *trip planned to coincide therewith, financially savvy we man We found Many (2+2+1) shirts for Mini-B. and a shirt & pants for us, not much but OK man. Our discount saved us $Many ($2+2+2+1), financially savvy we man. We weren't that hungry for din-din but thought we should get it with time to kill, reason we man. We found local Mexican restaurant where we'd din-dinned twice before, good place man. We were severely dehydrated and drank Many (2+1) glasses of Sprite before din-din arrived, gulp we man. Din-din was 2 cheese enchiladas, rice/beans, & a ground-beef taco, good din-din man. We were waterlogged from the Sprite and forced ourself to clean the plate, disciplined we man. We then gassed the rental T-B.-mobile and went to the airport, good timing we man. We managed to change our sweated-out shirt & sweatband in the hot restroom, sweat we man. The flight was half-full and early departing/landing, relief man. We hit the casa just in time to greet expectant miu and to watch late TV news, see weather we man. We then showered (shampooing/soaping ourself twice) before unpacking, participatory miu man. Miu had received considerable attention from neighbor & adult daughter, well-serviced miu man. Husband neighbor had come to do some irritating casa repairs for us, grateful we man. Except for the motel issue and unseasonable heat, we consider this trip to have been a great success, conclude we man. We will probably sleep tonight for Many,000 hours without turning over, predict we man.

Partially-thrilling other-half-Monday partial report, see man: Got to airport ridiculously early, no traffic and personally unprecedented man. Naturally, plane was delayed for half an hour, man. Was assigned a Ford Expedition rental T-B.-mobile, man. Could barely climb into the thing with use of running-board & pull-handle, inflexible we man. Took another Many minutes trying to figure out the controls in the dark, man. Rant, we man: Why do on-screen GPS systems talk so softly, huh man? Did anyone think about engine or road noise, huh huh huh and no no no man? Fortunately, after a desperate search, we found the hole to enable use of our plug-in Garmin, relief man. Arrived at surprisingly full motel (a Super Many [2x2x2]) after midnight, disgusted we man. Was assigned a quiet upstairs room as requested, good man. However, room was on western exposure all day and A/C not set low enough, and man. We showered in "cold" water and were still sweating the minute we shut it off, what's the purpose man. We set the A/C as low as possible, Many (2x2x2x2x2x2 - 2+2) degrees F. man. It took till the wee hours for things to cool at all, miserable we man. The bath towels had not one shred of absorbent fiber left on either, unbelievable man. The hand-towels & warshcloths were new, but obviously the lowest "hospitality-grade," note we man. One bath towel had a deep-set stain on both sides of it, had to use it anyway man. We went to bed at half-past 1 with A/C blowing hard, attempted zzz we man. We awoke at half-of-half an hour till Many (2+2) a.m. from being too cold, A/C finally caught up man. We tried to fiddle with it, inadequate attempt man. Somehow, we off-drifted to zzz, but see below man. We had told desk clerk to set our wakeup call at Many:Many ([2+2+2]:[2x2x2x2 +2+2]), specific we man. The phone rang with it at half-past Many (2+2) a.m., we man. From temperature and off-urinated state, we could not fall to zzz, no and man. Our own old, cheap electric alarm clock rang at Many:Many ([2+2+2]:[2x2x2x2 +2+2]), man. See Thrilling Tuesday report for continuation, see continuation man.

The reason he/she scored only Many in Science is almost certainly from being bad at P-Math, si mam ma'am. See above and be mortified, see mam ma'am. Have him spend his summer shooting craps, si and mam ma'am!

Plus, it's a good idea in general to have the freshest passport possible before immigrating here. If your visa goes into the old passport, bring both old and new to the U.S.

They should go to Rwanda, or someplace equally remote. However, Bidementia will do everything possible to bring them here. Votes from Dearbornistan!

Partially thrilling partial-Monday report, see in part man: Ran errand and paid bills, si man. Lunch was from Popeye's*, ingest we man. *WUOC, financially savvy we man Took uninterrupted siesta, zzz we man. Trip-prepped, pack we man. Miu awoke from long miu-siesta and helped by climbing in the suitcase, investigatory miu man. Miu isn't yet certain that Daddy is going away, uncertain miu man. We brushed miu, brush we man miu man. Neighbor will attend to miu, attentive neighbor man. Din-din was 2 ham sandwiches, indict them and ingest we man. We are killing time before night flight to destination, a bit late but cheapest** man. **financially savvy we man Supposed to be nearly Many00 degrees in south Texas / northern Mexico, Many sweatbands we man. Expect a full report optimally Tuesday night, expectorant man.

Hair today, gone tomorrow, si ma'am.

A KGB agent, a CIA agent, and a Mossad agent were arguing about whose organization was most efficient. They agreed to hold a contest: each would go into the woods to bring back a deer, and whoever came out earliest would be the winner. The KGB agent went first. Two hours later, he reappeared, dragging a deer. The CIA agent went next. One hour later, he reappeared, dragging a deer. The Mossad agent went in, and in half an hour, he came out holding a frightened rabbit. "That's not a deer; that's a rabbit," said the other agents. "Ah, but the rabbit confessed!" said the Mossad agent.

Bets on this? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Democrats can still jettison Biden as an 'August Surprise' [...] A growing number of Democrats see Biden as becoming the political version of "Groundhog Day." Every night they go to sleep dreaming of having a new nominee, and every morning they wake up to the same old Biden. A president many now see as gaffe-prone, needing to be told where to stand, where to walk and what to say. [...] https://thehill.com/opinion/campaign/4671526-democrats-can-still-jettison-biden-as-an-august-surprise/

This Week In Lawfare Land: Bragg's 'Star Witness' Blows Up His Own Credibility Here's the latest information you need to know about each prosecution Democrats are waging against the Republican presidential candidate. [...] https://thefederalist.com/2024/05/17/this-week-in-lawfare-land-braggs-star-witness-blows-up-his-own-credibility/

Thrilling Sunday-on-Monday report, see man: We & Mini-B. visited Mama T-B., ecstatic senior she man. Mama T-B. lectured us at exhaustive length about usual and extra topics, si and sigh man. No detail is too trivial for her to go aysheep about, man. Lunch was the takeout from Mama T-B.'s place, fund one lunch and donate extra desserts senior she man. Mini-B. consumed the fried shrimp and a dessert, ingest wee man. We consumed the baked potato, peas, roll, soup, and another dessert, ingest we man. Shortly after we arrived at the casa, the power went out, powerless we man. This was just before 2 p.m., nearly Many00 degrees F. man. There was never an explanation, no man. Neighbor thought that ERCOT was hosing us again, man. Mini-B. was highly displeased with no internet, displeased wee man. We could do no make-bedding upstairs consequent to the heat, no man. We therefore attempted a siesta downstairs, suboptimal conditions man. After about an hour + half an hour, electricity returned, more power to us man. It took a long time for inside temperature to return to "normal," but not as bad as could've been man. Despite the above, we managed to subdue the Many laundry loads, victorious we man. Din-din for Mini-B. was onecan S+Ms, ingest wee man. Din-din for us (much later) was 2 ham sandwiches, indict them and ingest we man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. could not stay to watch AFV, no man. She was hosting the Rojo & daughters, powerless Rojo man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. had to cook for all of them, stressed ex-she and hee hee heeeeee man. We returned Mini-B. after AFV and a very good Two Guys week, si to Two Guys man. Mini-B. has not complained about any of our din-dins for 2 consecutive visits now, no man. We also gather that he likes our casa and amenities better, ha ha man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. Late Monday, we fly to south Texas in prep for Mexico on Tuesday, travel we man. Prepare for Thrilling Reports as soon as we can muster same, si man.

We already reported on this, si and see and man. Asia is our favorite Polish Commie-babe, yours ours everyone's man.

Is anyone moved to tears? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'No sign of life' at crash site of helicopter carrying Iran's president, others DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) — Rescuers on Monday found a helicopter that was carrying Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi, the country's foreign minister and other officials that had apparently crashed in the mountainous northwest reaches of Iran the day before, though "no sign of life" was detected, state media reported. [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/official-says-rescuers-see-helicopter-023159433.html

https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/562879-cbp-at-tsa-airport-checkpoints-why-theyre-there-how-best-to-handle/ The only checkpoint where the officers acted like, uh, illegitimate male children to me was the one south of Alpine, and that was years ago. At all internal checkpoints, hand them the most recent documentation that you have.

^^ This. The K-1 visa was "dead on arrival" at her initial port of entry. See above.

It's always wisest to read through entire threads before posting.