TBoneTX

Tulsi Gabbard Finally Realizes She's Far Too Attractive To Be A Democrat WASHINGTON, D.C. — There was great rejoicing in the GOP yesterday as former Democrat Tulsi Gabbard finally realized that she's far too good-looking to be a Democrat. Sources close to Gabbard say the realization was a long time in coming, but that she finally decided to switch sides after realizing that she didn't blend in at all. "I'd felt very out of place for a while now," Gabbard said as she announced she was now a Republican. "Everyone around me was either [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/tulsi-gabbard-finally-realizes-shes-far-too-attractive-to-be-a-democrat

Worst Allegation Yet? Woman Claims In 1993 Trump Touched Her Inappropriately With Classified Documents While Praising Hitler NEW YORK CITY, NY — In a groundbreaking series of new allegations, a woman has come forward to accuse Trump of inappropriately touching her with a set of classified documents while simultaneously praising Adolph Hitler. "He came at me and groped my rear end while holding a fistful of classified documents in his other hand," alleged victim Marcia Webster told the press. "He was yelling something about wanting to annex Poland and how much he admired Hitler, it was terrible." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/nail-in-the-coffin-woman-alleges-in-1993-trump-touched-her-inappropriately-with-classified-documents-while-praising-hitler

Frightening, but not unrealistic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Are Dems Out Of Options To Stop Trump? Two impeachments, 88 felony counts (with guilty verdicts on 34 of them), a massive fine, two assassination attempts, unrelentingly hostile media coverage, a last-minute candidate switcheroo, and Donald Trump is still showing signs that he will win the election in two weeks. So, what do Democrats still have up their sleeve to stop Trump? They must have something. Back in May, we asked what the Democrats’ Plan B was if their lawfare campaign against Trump failed, and offered five options – four of which have come to pass. Here is what we said then. [...] https://issuesinsights.com/2024/10/22/are-dems-out-of-options-to-stop-trump/

Need more such joy, such as shutting down such rags entirely (of their own volition).

To add to what A Polite Parrot has posted: try this idea, previously posted by the member Darnell: -------------------- CHAMBER OF COMMERCE: Each city has a chamber of commerce. Find it. Once you find it - talk with the secretary - tell her you want a schedule of events and let her know you'd like to attend. Then - go in person to the Chamber of Commerce Office - talk with the President of the Chamber, tell him/her you want to volunteer at several of their events. Attendees at chamber events are business owners and sales geeks, all looking for new business. It usually is an informal-enough gathering where you can approach people and talk with them. Now, the cool thing about being a volunteer there - is that you will be talking to everyone at least once - you might be at the reception table, you might be at the greeters' table, you might help to run the audio/video system - whatever - but - the point is that you can meet everyone there, face to face. Attend 2 or 3 of these, and folk remember you. When folk remember you, they will remember you are seeking employment and will consider you, because you're just not some name on a piece of paper - they met you at a chamber event and know that you were volunteering, helping out the chamber. Go Get Em, and Good Luck! PS - live in a really small town? go to the biggest town that's within 15 miles of your house.

Yours is not a high-fraud consulate, so merely bring a few un-scrapbooked items.

Leftist meltdown. Fulfilling to see. Need more. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meltdown at the LA Times: Billionaire Owner Denies Presidential Endorsement, Top Editor Resigns The Los Angeles Times was engulfed in turmoil two weeks ahead of the presidential election on Wednesday when Editorials Editor Mariel Garza resigned "immediately" after she said owner Patrick Soon-Shiong vetoed a decision by the newspaper to endorse Kamala Harris for president. It was the first time in more than a century that the paper had elected not to endorse a presidential candidate. [...] https://www.yahoo.com/news/la-times-editorial-page-editor-212249316.html

Definitely this. In addition, they have no record to run on -- it's all "Orange Hitler Bad."

No comments?

Thrilling Thursday report, see man: We were at our lowest body weight in some time, triumphant we man. No movement on Uncle T-B.'s investments, not yet man. Lunch was 2 turkey-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man. An hourlong siesta ended at noon, no zzz like the present man. At 1 p.m., went to decipher why Mama T-B.'s e-mail inbox went empty, Sherlock Holmes we man. Had frustrating caucus with clueless e-mail provider, man. Solution was to "search" for Mama T-B.'s e-mail address, missing messages showed there man. Now Mama T-B. must move the "keepers" back into her inbox from there, laborious man. After this, Mama T-B. began a lengthy lecture about financial accounts, not the time for this man. At well after Many p.m., we extricated ourself, gas T-B.-mobile and retrieve Mini-B. from skool man. This precluded us from seeing if Uncle T-B. had received an important e-mail, man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. is still in Ecu, si man. While we were parked outside skool, the Rojo texted us, text Rojo man we man. "Ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s cell is spotty, but she wants you not to forget Mini-B., si and no man," si and no man. We wrote back, "Gracias, si man," si man. He wrote back, "Sorry, but she asked me to pass this along to you, si man," si man. We wrote back, "'Yes, Dear,' si man -- very familiar with this, si man," si man. The Rojo responded with a laughing icon, obviously a double victim man. At the casa, we told the Rojo to tell ex-Mrs.-T-B. the following, see man: "Pay the current and overdue ransom to the malos, and Mini-B. will be fine, si man," si man. The Rojo responded with a laughing icon, ha ha man. Din-din was weenies & beans*, ingest Two Guys man. *beans procured at a recent ES, financially savvy we man. Dessert was lemon cake from Aldi, ingest Two Guys man. Mini-B. has regional Band audition on Friday, participate wee man man. We thought to ask whether a uniform was required, inquire we man. Mini-B. said, "Band shirt, si man," si man. Band shirt ended up being at ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa, make hasty trip Two Guys man. We have itineraried Many (2+1) GSs and Many (2+2+1) ESs for Friday, all highly local man. And that was/is our thrilling Thursday, report we man.

It is, si mam ma'am. Tasteful mam ma'am! Tasteful, TASTEFUL mam ma'am! (Your good taste is not just in your mouth, no mam ma'am.) We didn't even think of this, no and gracias mam ma'am. Wonder if BB sells coffeemakers, hmm man.

Bad inimical turncoating Asia! Bad, BAD inimical INIMICAL turncoating TURNCOATING Asia!

Your U.S. Congressman's office might be of help. Call and ask for the "immigration liaison." There will be a form to fill out in order for the office to contact others on your behalf.

Thread is moved from Off Topic to the U.S. Citizenship main forum.

Democrats Explain Trump Was Going To Be Hitler During His First Term, But He Forgot U.S. — Democrats have warned that if elected a second time, Donald Trump will be an evil dictator just like Adolf Hitler. When asked why Trump didn't become Hitler during his first term, Democrats explained that he simply forgot. "Trump meant to be Hitler, but he forgot," explained Vice President Harris in a press conference at the White House. "Being Hitler just totally slipped his mind. Make no mistake, if Trump is elected again, he absolutely plans to turn into Hitler and probably will write himself a reminder this time." According to retired General John Kelly, [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-explain-trump-was-going-to-be-hitler-during-his-first-term-but-he-forgot

Thrilling Wednesday-on-Thursday report, see man: Day began inauspiciously, bummer man. We killed ourself decluttering before maid's promised visit, dead we man. About Many (2+2+1) minutes before promised arrival, we texted, where are you man. Maid: "I'm so sorry I didn't text you. I got busy and won't be coming," we man. We let her have it, politely man. She contacted us to say that she was free Wednesday, si man. She agreed to the day & time, si man. She forgot to note it, obviously man. She then tried to blame us, see man: "I prefer formal appointments rather than informal," 😕 man. If she didn't do such good work when she shows up, we'd tell her to stuff it, si man. We told her that this disrespect-of-calendar garbage must stop immediately/permanently, si man. We told her that she gets one more chance, si man. Dead silence since, big surprise man. Lunch was 2 turkey-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man. Our Mr. Coffee machine had died, so we ordered one for Walmart pickup, order we man. We got text that it was ready, si man. We went there, prompt we man. No one was at pickup and their phone number went to voicemail, man. Finally, someone came out of the pickup, assist we man. He couldn't find our name on the order list, no and man. A supervisorette-type did, about time man. Our order was soon brought, we were still off-urinated man. We filled out the "tell us how your experience was, si man!" survey, blast them we man. In evening, someone from there actually called to apologize, sincere he man. We still hate Walmart with the passion of Many,000 burning suns, man. After this, things got a little better, finally man. New Mr. Coffee worked to perfection, very nice man. We made Many calls on behalf of Uncle T-B., progress made re investments & medical man. We made a call on behalf of ourself, beneficial man. A siesta was squeezed in before skool pickup, zzz we man. Took Mini-B. straight from skool to off-campus basketball, eager wee man man. We saw cute mom-of-amigo there but couldn't renew acquaintances, oh well man. Mini-B. had fun, tired wee man man. Of course, ex-Mrs.-T-B. had failed to pay to enroll him for this new session, man. She also failed to get his sports fizzicle done in time to try out for skool basketball, man. Din-din was the Japanese-style chicken fried rice from Costco, ingest Two Guys man. Movie night involved more Everybody Hates Chris episodes, watch Two Guys man. Many (2+1) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, Many (2+2+2) for the week so far man. Mini-B. embedded on time, tired wee man man. We shall be up doing more administrative work, Business Typhoon we man. And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.

A random noncontributory post has been removed, along with a post quoting.

Wife Begins Pre-Bedtime Ritual Of Chilling Feet In Freezer ST. PAUL, MN — A local wife revealed her pre-bedtime ritual consists of showering, applying lotion, and sticking her feet in the freezer. "Got to get these babies nice and cold before I get into bed with hubby," Heather Chase explained as she excused herself from the family game of Monopoly so she could get ready for bed. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/wife-begins-pre-bedtime-ritual-of-chilling-feet-in-freezer

'You're At The Wrong Town Hall,' Snaps Kamala At Citizen Trying To Ask Her A Question [...] According to Maria Shriver, the facilitator at the town hall, Kamala's outburst was provoked by an ordinary, everyday citizen who got up to ask Kamala how she would respond to the problems with the US economy. "I think you're at the wrong town hall," Kamala reportedly fired back at the citizen as several Kamala staffers came to escort the poor woman out of the building. "You really ought to be at the town hall down the street, holistically. That wasn't one of the pre-approved questions you can ask me — try asking Trump instead! HAHAHAHA!" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/youre-at-the-wrong-town-hall-snaps-kamala-at-citizen-trying-to-ask-her-a-question

Wella, WELLA! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BREAKING: Tulsi Gabbard Joins the Republican Party Two years ago, Tulsi Gabbard, the former Democratic congresswoman from Hawaii and one-time Democratic presidential candidate, made waves by announcing her departure from the Democratic Party and became an independent. At the time, I was skeptical that she'd ever join the GOP, but on Tuesday, she finally took the next step and became a Republican. "And it is because of my love for our country, and specifically because of the leadership that President Trump has brought to transform the Republican party and bring it back to the party of the people and the party of peace, that I'm proud to stand here with you today, President Trump, and announce that I'm joining the Republican Party," she said at Trump's rally in North Carolina. "I'm joining the party of the people, the party of equality, the party that was founded to fight against and end slavery in this country. It is the party of commonsense, and the party that is led by a president who has the courage and strength to fight for peace." [...] https://pjmedia.com/matt-margolis/2024/10/22/tulsi-gabbard-joins-the-republican-party-n4933555

It's Wednesday already, and time for our highly effective, upvote-worthy Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== A DAY ON THE FARM A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked on the door. A boy, age 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" asked the farmer. "No; they went to town," said the boy. "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No; he went with Mom and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few seconds, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy said, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message." "Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really want to talk to your Dad about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant!" The boy thought for a moment, then said, "You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $50 for the bulls and $15 for the boars, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man: Neither we nor Mini-B. wanted to get up, slothful Two Guys man. We took Uncle T-B. to cardiologist, routine exam man. Doc said, "Come back in a year, si man," si man. Lunch was onebag of nuked mixed vegetables, ingest we man. A magnificent siesta was taken thereafter, zzz we man. Much progress made regarding Uncle T-B.'s new investments, financially savvy we man for senior he man. Din-din was lettuce salad + hot dogs, ingest Two Guys man. Mini-B. somehow finished overdue Science hoamwurk, we man. Maid supposed to come Wednesday at half-past Many a.m., yeah right man. She will charge "a little more," we man. If it's half again as much, that ain't a "little" more, no and man. However, this disastrous casa might be worth it this once, man. And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

Good. Nail them.

The OP hasn't logged on to VJ in 6 years. Perhaps someone else here can answer.

Up-sucking-to-mostly-absent-Polish-Commie-Babe Bro G man! Up-sucking-to-mostly-absent-Polish-Commie-Babe, UP-SUCKING-TO-MOSTLY-ABSENT-POLISH-COMMIE-BABE Bro G man!