InhaleExhale

i wish we lived in a world where this sentiment is prominent. However making comments on a public forum that vaccines kill thousands without a reliable source suggests that we do not.

This might be a great solution if not being vaccinated didn’t affect anyone else, but that’s not how contagious viruses work.

More than 99% of recent Covid deaths in the US are UNVACCINATED people...... Millions and millions of us who have been vaccinated suffered no serious side effects.  I chose to get the vaccine. My wife made the same choice. 

Go get vaccinated and let’s get the world back to normal.

Lmao so you're more scared of the vaccine than the virus (which has actually killed millions worldwide) that the vaccine is supposed to protect against? Your stats are not real or true. Provide sources at least if you're gonna say stuff like that. "Scrolling through Facebook while sitting on the toilet" is not a real source or proper research, btw.

Amazing how people come on to an immigration thread to derail it with wild claims that have no basis in either fact or science. 
 
To the OP: no, the Covid vaccine is not required at the medical.
But please be aware that literally 97% of current hospitalizations and 99% of deaths in the US due to Covid are among the unvaccinated. https://www.npr.org/2021/07/16/1017002907/u-s-covid-deaths-are-rising-again-experts-call-it-a-pandemic-of-the-unvaccinated 
 
 

This will be my last comment to not further derail this post as OP received their answer- but I think it’s important that misinformation does not continue to spread and allow unnecessary deaths (or strain on the health care system)- I have yet to see a covid vaccine be the cause of death to thousands of people and ALL vaccines and drugs have side effects-  it’s sad to see someone prefer to choose death from covid over a day with body aches and chills, if they even experience side effects at all (from vaccine). All these deaths from those not vaccinated- I guess it’s Gods way of having Darwin’s theory play out. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have no time for those who can’t appreciate advances in modern day medicine (that’s why we have a higher life expectancy-thanks to modern medicine) or those who flood their “brains” with conspiracy theories. 

How does opinions kill us compared to a experimental drug that has killed thousands and hundreds of thousands side effects

And “opinions” are what is killing us. 

We all have our own opinions on this jab they call a vaccine and i myself have requested of my wife and family in the Philippines not to get it until it has gone through its full testing and is totally FDA approved and not under the EUA

You are funny, I751 pending and been out for 10 years and blaming pandemic.

I don't have any other advice to offer, just wanted to say that I'm sorry your neighbors are being such jerks.  Fingers crossed that a flock of pigeons with tummy issues fly over their cars.  😉

@Ruddin, I am sorry that you are going through this. My advice:
 
Find a safe place to live as soon as possible.  Call the police if he attempts to hurt you again and file a report. Get a restraining order if you have to. If you did not send evidence of bona fide marriage since the date of your marriage for your I-751 filing, it is important that you gather anything you can now. You do not need him to get your 10 year green card. Just move out as soon as possible. I have a feeling that he did not file for divorce. Did he serve you with divorce papers? 
Change all your passwords, including your phone password if you have a smart phone.  
 
Here are a couple of resources for you in the DC area. https://www.dashdc.org/what-it-takes/
https://www.dcbar.org/pro-bono/free-legal-help/help-for-individuals
 
Make sure you delete your search history on your computer. 
 
Be safe. 

@InhaleExhale Its going to be OK. Hindsight is always 20/20 and any mistakes you may have made you learn from and move on. Its important for you to try to relax and clear your head. When we are overwhelmed its very hard to think clearly and rationally. 'Mindfulness' is not a new therapy concept but it has become more popular the last decade or so. You can find resources for mindfulness/DBT online (or I can send you some) but the basic premise is you first have to relax and clear your head and then address whatever the problem is either with 'accept' or 'change'. The accept/change concept also shows up in that 12 step AA prayer because honestly in life those are the only 2 choices you have- you either accept things and live with them or you change them. If you have health insurance they will cover therapy visits and its usually just a minimal co pay per visit. Many therapists are doing virtual appts right now as well. Dont be afraid to reach out if you need help.
 
I know therapy isnt for everyone so the only other thing I am going to suggest is a technique called EFT- emotional freedom technique aka 'tapping'. This is based in science- the whole left brain/right brain thing. There are video clips on how to do it online as well as written guides with illustrations. Its FREE, easy, quick, and can be incredibly effective for some people. Its basically humming a tune like happy birthday while lightly tapping on various pressure points on your head/neck/body and shifting your eyes back and forth. I know it sounds silly but maybe give it a try.  
 
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IMO yes.
 
No.
 
This is why I started my post talking about accept/change. You have to accept that you cant control what other people do. They can lie, cheat, steal. They can hurt you. They can scheme to sabotage your immigration process and maybe they get lucky and manage to do something that does cause you issues like mindthegaps spouse did. But I truly believe mindthegap is going to overcome this as the allegations made were baseless. The wheels of justice move slowly, sometimes so slow that you struggle to believe they are still moving but they are. You just need to hang in there and make it through to the end. Accept the things you need to and change what needs to be changed. 
 
This is actually good. Seems unlikely that he would manage to draft a letter that would trigger a fraud investigation.  It would have to be written a certain way and get to specific people who then take action based on the contents. Rambling arguments that make no sense are just going to make him look like a bitter ex spouse and cause his letter to go in the trash. They are not going to sift through his letter looking for something that is not there and I promise you USCIS gets letters from angry partners every single day with almost all of them going into the trash. Very few contain actionable information. 
When does your card expire? You can send a waiver ROC at any time but in order to get the automatic extension you need to file the 751 prior to the expiration date on the card. From what youve posted it seems like the card expired 5/19/21 and you mailed your joint ROC package right before the window closed so maybe the week of 5/10/21 and you still have not gotten the NOA yet right? And then sometime between 5/19 and today 5/30 you sent a letter asking to switch to a waiver and your ex also called/wrote to them about dropping from your joint.
 
If all that is correct:  The general procedure is when you file a joint 751 and then if either person on it advises them they no longer want to be on the joint filing they are suppose to amend the joint to a waiver. The specifics of that depend on who contacts them first about the matter. If you are the first one telling them you want to switch to a waiver you would have told them in your request which waiver you wanted to switch to and if you were electing the divorce waiver only they would expect you to include the divorce decree along with your request to switch. If you didnt include the decree you should get an RFE as a response at some point, stating they got your request and to send them the decree. They would have gotten your request first and then later if your spouse contacts them, well the case has already been converted from joint so there wont be any actions for them to take based on their request to be dropped from the joint, they are already off it. 
 
Now if your spouse contacted them first and tells them you guys are divorcing. They can and will remove your spouse from the joint filing. This leaves your filing up in the air. They can not pick which waiver you will use (there are several). Your spouse can not tell them which waiver to put you as. So they should notify you they were advised you are divorcing/divorced and do you want to switch to the divorce waiver if so send your decree and acknowledge this is the waiver you want us to process for you. Paraphrasing that as the language they use is more complicated...
I use the word should because thats what should happen. People have reported USCIS not following this procedure and simply denying the joint 751 and theres nothing you can do about that except complain to the Ombudsman about their lack of following policy and you would need to file a new 751 and pay the fees again.
 
Theres a small chance your spouses request to remove themselves from the joint got to USCIS before yours did. And then another small chance USCIS decides to close your joint filing (as denied) rather than RFE you about switching to a waiver. If this happens its not as big of a deal as it may seem. What matters to you is that you need to have an active 751 filing in order to work/travel and to eventually get conditions removed so you get the 10yr card /citizenship later if thats what you want.  
 
Now, you need to have an active 751 pending and you need to have proof of status. The NOA extension letter is only valid as an extension if your 751 was filed before the card expires. So you should be getting the NOA for the joint filing. This will be your proof of status and its valid as long as that 751 case filing is active, doesnt matter if the filing is switched to a waiver. If for some reason that filing is closed (denied or closed due to the spouses withdrawal and them not giving you a waiver option as I described above) then your NOA extension is no good anymore and you need to file a new 751. You would get a new case number for it and a NOA but because it was filed after the card expired you would need to go get yourself a 551 stamp as proof of status. That can be difficult right now due to infopass closures and restrictions but it can still be done if needed. 
 
So you have a few options.
 
You can send another 751 right now. A divorce waiver one. You would need to pay the fees again. You can have multiple pending 751s. They would each have a different case number. You have to be careful to not get them mixed up if you do this as each one would be moving independently in the system. You can let them both process or you can withdraw the joint filing one all together so you only have one case. You want to make sure you always have an active 751 and proof of status though so you would have to plan it out a bit to ensure such if you are going to withdraw the first filing completely. 
 
Or you can choose to not file a second 751 right now and wait to see what happens. If you do need to file it in the future- then you file it then. You may not ever need to and it is an additional cost not everyone can afford. 
 
Neither option above is better then the other. They both have pros and cons. Its up to you what you think is best for you. You may be forced into filing and paying for a second 751 which stinks and comes with additional issues of having to get proof of status based on that filing- or you can proactively file and pay for a second filing that was not needed so you wasted your time and money trying to address a problem you didnt actually have. 
 
In either case you will want to make sure you keep an eye on the case status of your filing(s) online. You also should make sure you have a secure address on file and use the informed delivery system from the Post Office to make sure you get any mailings that are sent. You need to have the correct address on file with the Post Office as well as USCIS mail can not be forwarded and is often returned to them due to such. You can use a PO box for a mailing address with USCIS if you need to. Im not sure what your current living situation is and how petty/psycho your ex is but even good intentioned people have issues when separating regarding mail delivery. When you fill out a change of address form with the post office it gives you the option to change your name only or the entire family. If you have any problems with mail you simply need to go to your local post office and ask for help in fixing it.  
 
Remember to breathe. Inhale Exhale right>  < 

With USCIS the exact specifics always matter. In law the policies and laws are written by the higher ups and everyone below struggles to understand it. Sometimes it ends up not being applied consistently as people interpret it differently. The 'memos' are designed to clear up confusion and the Ombudsman does reviews and advises them on inconsistencies and issues with how its actually being done vs how its suppose to be done. 
 
I would have to attempt to research what the specifics are for 'making contact' to withdraw from a spouse on a joint 751 but my gut tells me they would need something in writing or it would have to be done in person. I cant imagine the multitudes of privacy provisions they have somehow allow for a phone call to suffice. If so it would be far too easy for people to interfere in others cases by simply calling and requesting changes. 
 
But this is where the specifics matter. There are certain policies that apply to you as the principal applicant and other policies apply to the spouse joint applicant. As I tried to explain for you as the principle applicant - you would notify them by sending a letter requesting to switch to a waiver. You are expected to tell them which waiver and include your evidence. You can amend your 751.. Your ex spouse is different. They can not amend your filing. So the bit you quoted about them withdrawing does apply. They can withdraw, they can not amend. There is a difference between withdraw and amend. When looking at policy you have to make sure you are looking at the right things and they are applicable. 
 
So withdrawing the 751 means in simple English- you take it back. You pull it back like you never applied. When a petition is submitted and then later withdrawn it shows in their system as a denial because in their system its only pending approved denied. The denial is because you withdrew so you didnt qualify. Amend is when you change something. So your joint 751 is changed into a waiver. It was amended
 
The memo has wording of if the service center is advised of a divorce. This is where some of the inconsistencies in the application of the policies lie. Sometimes the spouses attempt to contact USCIS results in USCIS saying- oh so theres a divorce? thanks for advising us. We will RFE the principal applicant and per the memo offer to switch them to a waiver. Other times they get a letter from the spouse and say oh you want to withdraw from the joint. No problem. We will remove you. And in doing so the 751 is not amended, its canceled/withdrawn as per the policy you quoted below. 
 
So in a way it depends on who contacts them first and the contents of each contact as well as the person who is reviewing it interprets things and applies policy. Does that all make sense? You cant really do anything about it except attempt to be the first contact and be prepared if the cards fall in a way where your 751 is then marked as denied due to a withdrawal from one party rather than amended to a waiver. If that happens you can complain to the Ombudsman as they are the ones who gather such complaints and then present the issue to USCIS to make sure it doesnt keep happening to others in the future. 
 
----
Your conversion to a waiver would occur when they get your request to do so and process it. Remember you can have a pending 751 divorce waiver processing w/o a divorce decree in their hands. It just wont be approved until they have it. This was all went over in more details in prior postings. But now we are back to who said what to them first that they took action on. If it was you they would have gotten your request, they accepted it and would RFE you for additional things for your case to be completed like the actual decree you didnt send them yet. In that situation your 751 was amended to a waiver filing when the read your letter, said OK, marked the file as such, then generated an RFE for the missing items in your file due to the change in being a waiver case now. If it was your spouse who contacted them first then like explained above they can view that as them being advised of a divorce- which would cause them to RFE you to both clarify/confirm that is the change you want to make and it would instruct you to submit the additional documents needed to process it. They need to clarify/confirm the change because they can approve you as a joint even if divorce is pending (all that was in the prior postings as well). So they cant amend for you and if you dont want to amend you dont have to. They can also view your spouses letter as a request to withdraw and if thats what they see first they may accept it as a party is withdrawing and close the filing as denied rather than offering you the waiver option. This is because if one party withdraws you can no longer be approved on a joint.
 
 
 
You will get a NOA for the filing and it will have the wording of being an extension on it but the fine print of it says this is only valid as an extension if the 751 was timely filed. The only 751 you have timely filed is the joint one. So if that filing is amended and continues to be active the extension letter will continue to be valid. If that filing is denied and/or you file a second 751, that filing would not be timely filed so the NOA can not be used as an extension and you would need a 551 stamp as proof of status.
 
For your situation: It seems they got your letter first so I would expect it to be processed first and you should be receiving the NOA from the filing soon if you havent yet already. You can then expect the RFE asking for the divorce decree. You will need to respond to the RFE and send the decree if you have it or a response stating you do not have it. You must respond. If you respond you dont have it you can expect to be put on the list to wait for an interview slot. If you get the decree prior to an interview slot you should send it asap because they may decide once they get it they no longer need to interview you and approve you. You may still be interviewed though. If you go to the interview and still dont have the decree you will end up in court system. 
 
The above is the most likely scenario that will play out. The alternating scenarios are- is you would get the NOA from the joint filing but then your spouses letter is processed as a withdrawal first so you would get a denial; or you get the NOA and then an RFE stating they were advised of a divorce change in circumstances and do you want to be a waiver and send us the decree. You would have to respond to that the same as above, its exactly the same except it was not triggered by you. 
 

Didn't mean to worry you, apologies.
It is ongoing for me, which, besides the fat that others could copy, is another reason I don't want it public. 
 

No
If they received or processed his letter before yours, the standard thing would be to write to you anyway. It won't just be denied. 
 
Edit: having said that, there is definitely one potential option for him doing this in such a way that it would lead to denial - as it happened to me - but I am not posting it publicly as it may give others ideas. 
 
Yes. This is permitted. 
 
No judgement, and no 'we told you so' posts - we all make mistakes. 
 
Protect yourself - gather EVERYTHING possible you can in terms of documents and evidence, that he may hide or take that you may need. He has already shown that he won't co-operate and intends on being an a*s. And protect yourself outside of immigration issues. 
 
And try to relax. It is not a quick process at the best of times. You remain a LPR at this time, that is all that matters. Deal with the 'ifs' if and when they happen. 
 
 

Hi guys! 
Just had my interview 4/19. Initially filed jointly but switched to divorce waiver. 
Not going to lie, it was pretty tough. The officer started with confirming everything on my application, then asked about how the relationship started and developed. She asked me questions about almost every piece of evidence in my file. Questions about my ex spouse, details about his/our life, about people from the photos I had provided. It had me extremely anxious and stressed but I was fully honest about everything including our separation. I explained why we didn’t have some of the common joint assets couples usually have. 
Towards the end, she asked if I had anything else to add. It sounded to me like she wasn’t very convinced with what I had so far. I was so stressed out at that point, that I forgot I had my affidavits from friends and my ex spouse with me! So I just gave her some extra photos and was on my way out haha. 
She said “Everything looks good with your application!” but I was still convinced she hated me. When we came out, my lawyer said that this particular officer is always pretty tough but she believed it went well. I was fully prepared to wait at least a month but the very next day I got a notification that my case was approved! 

If you live separately from your spouse and file jointly you will definitely set off marriage fraud flags with USCIS and get increased attention and much more likely to be interviewed and will require real strong proof of a bona fide marriage.

From my understanding - certain benefits can be issued with no interview- like EADs. For N400 interviews are always required. For the GC or ROC the policy states interviews are required but can be waived (you posted a snippet about reasons they can use to decide to waive). Overall cases are divided into 3 letter categories. A, B, and C. A is for perfect submissions. We're talking masterpieces. Absolutely no doubt in approving it. A very small percentage of A's are given interviews for quality control. Then theres B- where most people fall. B is a petition that meets all the requirements but theres still something about it that doesnt quite make it a masterpiece. A slightly larger but still small percentage of interviews for B are done again for quality control purposes. Then there is C. C is when there is a problem. C is always set for interviews. It can be a significant problem- like suspect of fraud or not such a significant problem- like something that wouldnt cause a direct denial - mismatching addresses on a joint petition because you dont actually live together due to work or school. Or having very little co-mingling evidence. They usually try to resolve these types of concerns with the RFE, but if your RFE still didnt convince them or they otherwise feel an interview would be beneficial then you will be interviewed. From your snippet- "complex facts or issues to resolve questions or concerns"- a joint 751 when the couple is separated or has divorce papers pending is an 'issue' that would cause them to 99.999% do an interview. Currently with the pandemic less interviews are being done but they are still conducting interviews as needed. 
 
Other common issues for interviews can be as mentioned above- mismatching addresses on various paperwork. Lack of financial documents with no explanation. Unusual documentation like bank statements where one person is depositing or receiving large amounts of money and no explanation is given. Now USCIS can not tell you how to live your life or how to spend your money. You are not judged on such. But if I am the Officer and I am looking at your paperwork and I see that both spouses earn about the same amount but one spouse seems to be paying for everything and the other spouse is either accumulating a large savings account or is sending their money overseas to an unknown person- or is receiving large sums of money from an unspecified source- I would wonder what is going on. If the paperwork in the case file shows your brother married and sponsored an immigrant and now you are sponsoring that immigrants sibling or cousin it can lead to suspicion that you guys are running a low level GC scam ring. Evaluating petitions is a skill and theres no master list of things that might raise a red flag to them. But generally people can instinctually tell when someone is lying to them and if your petition gives off a vibe like that then they will most likely want to interview you to resolve their concerns. Also often people who had a previous visa like a student or temp work visa that was close to expiring and quickly married to apply for the GC (or was out of status for a significant amount of time prior to the marriage) can be looked at harder because theres a chance the marriage was motivated by wanting a valid status/GC and not because you truly wanted to marry the person.
 
I wouldnt worry too much about being selected for an interview because you didnt do anything wrong. You qualify for ROC because you had a bonafide marriage- it just didnt work out and thats OK. 
 
Any evidence that includes another person can be verified. So if you have text messages and feel they are important enough to include yet do not want to include them- a work around is for you to not include the actual messages but to simply reference them in your affidavit. You can also include a statement from a trusted friend or person who is considered to have GMC like a priest, therapist, Dr, etc- describing in their statement how they saw these text messages - verifying the contents and the circumstances in which they saw them. Ex- if you have a friend who has been supportive during the break up they can discuss how the break up happened- how you were heartbroken, how you guys had a long discussion about what the messages from your ex said- perhaps they were with you when a message came in. Perhaps you called them later and told them you got a message from ex earlier saying they dont think the problems can be fixed. I really dont know exactly what happened in your relationship. You did mention having a therapist at some point and they are probably the best person to get an affidavit from. They may charge you a fee to prepare a letter in addition to having you come in for a session to discuss them possibly writing such a letter and may even make you sign a waiver allowing them to speak to USCIS if USCIS does choose to contact them (they rarely contact Drs like that).
 
Their letter can be brief and does not have to disclose all the personal details you shared in therapy. Its typically a basic letter saying I am Dr Whoever and I have been seeing/seen the Smith couple in couples therapy from X date to Y date. They were struggling with various issues about whatever- one spouse spending too much money on things the other disagreed with, one spending too much time at work, arguing about chores being divided or one is messier then the other. Whatever it was. And how they attempted to help you with therapy tools but it was decided the best thing for both of you is to separate. There is no right or wrong in writing an affidavit. It just needs to include things the writer has direct knowledge about and explain how they have such knowledge.  A therapist should know how to write such a letter properly and if you are not happy with the contents of it you can ask them to rewrite it or choose not to include it. 
 
Again you do not need to show a happy marriage. Not all marriages are happy. You have to show it was bonafide- which means you entered it in good faith and not for immigration benefits. As a divorce waiver you only need to show good faith on your part. What the other person did or how they behaved is not on you. 
 
In a divorce waiver case the divorce decree is in itself a very important piece of evidence that includes a lot of information like the dates you lived together and the date you separated. It also lists out any assets and debts and how they are divided. The decree is an official document which was either created by both spouses and signed off by a Judge to be accurate or if any parts were contested the Judge ruled on it. So the contents are considered to be factual. It seems you already divided assets and such so the divorce should be pretty easy to file and there probably wont be any issues you guys disagree on. The divorce can not include any wording of fraud (by you) because that will be held against you. Most divorces are done under the 'incompatibility' type reasons and thats fine. Sometimes people arent who they say they are or they just werent ready for the responsibilities of marriage. Maybe they are in denial about who they actually are vs who they want to be. There are thousands of reasons why marriages just dont work out. The 'why' doesnt matter so much, its more about your intent when you married. So personally I feel in divorce waiver cases its important to include in your affidavit the history of your relationship- the courtship and the reasons why you chose to marry and have that balance out how it broke down. Dont put all the focus on the breakdown. 
 
I do not know if you will find any examples of cases where a joint was filed during a separation and the interview was waived. I believe there are 1-2 threads on VJ of those who filed such a way and they both did in fact have interviews and were ultimately approved. Again these were couples on very good terms that still cared about each other but simply realized marriage was not for them. They had an assortment of evidence supporting the good faith and in the interview they appeared to be genuine in what they were saying and answered all questions honestly so it was clear to the Officer there was no fraud involved- just a sad situation of two people who werent meant to be.
 
Also because of the long processing times some couples that file jointly but are separated end up getting a final divorce decree before approval. If you do choose to file jointly and then subsequently file for divorce you MUST notify them of the pending divorce if you didnt in the original submission and you also MUST send them the divorce decree and ask to be switched to a divorce waiver prior to approval. If you mentioned pending divorce in the initial submission its unlikely you would be approved w/o interview but it can happen. If it does you will have a big problem if you are approved as joint w/o interview but were technically divorced at the time of approval. 
 
There are many variables to filing with a divorce waiver when you are not divorced yet- or switching from joint to divorce. I would suggest you create a timeline (you dont have to use the VJ feature where it appears under all your posts though), but just a basic timeline for reference on what you filed and when and the dates of when things happened like marriage, separation, divorce papers filed, RFEs received etc.  This will make it easier for people to give you advice w/o having to look through your previous posts and piece it together themselves. I would also recommend keeping active on VJ as things progress in your case. It can be helpful to think of the process like a flow chart. You know one of those where each box has a question or statement and depending on the yes-no answer you move to the next box. The exact path you take down the flow chart will impact what you need to do so be cautious of comparing your situation to others. The advice for their case may not be the same for yours. 
 
For you specifically you can either file as joint (letting them know you are separated) or you can file as a divorce waiver (w/o having the divorce). I understand how you can be looking at these two choices and unsure which is the better one because neither are ideal. There are  "hazards' on both paths that you need to be diligent in navigating but overall the divorce waiver path is the safer one. Anything that 'goes wrong' on that path you can easily deal with- because the things that can go wrong are all related to paperwork- ie not having the decree in time. That can be rectified and yes, it may cause you delays or cost money in filing subsequent 751s or needing to hire an attny if you do end up in court- but again thats all paperwork nonsense, more formality then anything else. Going the joint filing way is much more hazardous. You dont need the divorce paperwork- in fact you can not have a divorce decree. So the hazards referenced are about establishing good faith and you are foolishly relying on your former spouse for such. Again theres a reason why you are divorcing. If you had 100% trust and faith in your spouse you probably wouldn't be separated right? 
 
You also cant control what happens in the future. Your ex might get a new partner. They may oppose to him helping you. Then what? It was also mentioned the aff of support (864). This stays in effect until you either naturalize or no longer have the GC. Money can be a huge factor for some people. Does he trust you to not come after him for support? Could someone easily plant the idea in his head that its best for him to sabotage your case to get out of the 864? Would he be OK if you meet the man of your dreams during the processing and still appear in the interview supporting you? And lets say you do meet the man of your dreams- do you really want to explain to him how you are still technically married and will remain married for the next 1-2 years because why? You cant stay married simply to be approved for a joint ROC and the longer you go with out officially terminating the marriage the more questionable it becomes as to why you arent terminating the marriage- hence the interview. 
 
Im not sure how old you are of where you are from or what has happened in your life in general that makes you reluctant to file for divorce. But being married has various legal ramifications and benefits. When you are married your spouse is generally your 'next of kin' That means if you suffer an accident they are generally responsible for making medical decisions for you. If you win the lottery your separated spouse may have a claim to such. If you get pregnant in most states your spouse is going to be listed on the birth certificate regardless if you say he is not the dad- and its a whole big thing to resolve. When you apply for loans or if you need financial assistance it becomes more complicated to have to check off married and explain their income is not available to you to be considered. In some states when you buy property your spouses name is automatically added to the deed or they have to sign off when you sell. You do not give someone power like that that you are no longer in a relationship with. The only logical reason why people would stay married is for benefits (health, tax, etc) - which is not how you want USCIS to look at it. There are emotional reasons for staying married but do you really want to have to establish to USCIS that you are not divorcing because of emotional issues and not because of any benefits you get from remaining married? 
 
I really dont want to keep posting the same things and Im not sure if there is anything anyone can say to convince you that you should  use the divorce waiver option and file for divorce. But if you truly feel you are not ready to divorce and wish to move forward with the joint filing I wish you the best of luck for it to go smoothly, you can later amend to a divorce waiver if things change. I suppose at this point its on you to make your decision on how you will file and if you need help / have questions about the path you chose or how to switch paths if you regret what you chose-  please feel free to continue to post them here and keep us updated on the case progress- but you have to make a choice soon as it seems your card is near expiry. 

The instructions and memo are awkwardly worded in some parts.  A lot of it is because USCIS does not acknowledge separation as a marital status. You are either married, divorced, or widowed. So the overall statute says for them to issue a 2yr conditional card when first issuing the GC if the marriage is under 2ys at the time. You then need to remove conditions which technically requires a joint 751 unless you qualify for a waiver. The provisions that allow for a waiver allow the waiver to be filed at any time where the regulations for a joint require it to be filed in the 90 day window. (All 751s need to be filed before the card expires or else they assume you are not filing because you no longer want the GC. If you do not file before the card expires it is also possible to file late as well but that is N/A to your situation.)
 
Now the memo was supposed to clear up confusion for those using waivers but again because USCIS does not acknowledge 'separated' as a marital status its written in a way where the petitioner is either 1-separated but still legally married hence filing as and married filing jointly -OR -2 divorced so filing alone with waiver.  Unfortunately some people are neither 1 or 2 but it doesnt matter. They have to get on train 1 or 2. 
 
So you can either apply as or hop on train 1 and file jointly. When they see you are in divorce process they are suppose to RFE you and ask if you want to remain in the joint or switch to the waiver. They can approve you as a joint as long as you are still legally married. There are various reasons for not filing this way. In which case or alternatively you would initially apply as/ hop on train 2. Technically you dont have a divorce decree but one is not required to board this train. You need it to get off/be approved though- so metaphorically you would ride the train until you get your decree or USCIS kicks you off and has you sit in front the court until you can show it in which case the court puts you back on the train when you get the decree and when the rides over you get your 10yr card. 
 
Reading the memo with this in mind it can make a lot more sense.  As for the specific questions- the interview for ROC can be waived in both joint and waiver cases. In general interviews are given for a small percentage of cases for quality control purposes, so even the best case has a chance of having an interview. When theres a situation of pending divorce and a joint 751 is filed they are almost always interviewed- this is because this is a unique situation and anything unique is typically interviewed. Overall divorce waivers are interviewed more frequently then joint waivers but at the same time plenty of people get approved w/o interview with divorce waivers. 
 
As for the confidentiality stuff. When you file a joint waiver it belongs to both of you. When you file a divorce waiver 751 it is your petition alone. They can not contact your former spouse for their input on your 751- however if you send any evidence like a statement from your former spouse then you open the door for them to speak to them to verify the contents as they can do with any statement you send from friends/family/employers etc. 
 
 

Yeah sorry. I’m stressed to hell right now with this and have genuinely thousands of pages of USCIS stuff around me - it’s a sea of paperwork and photos here and I am utterly sick of it.  
Short fuse and was snappy.
Apologies. 

That’s what a divorce waiver is. If you file under that basis with that box checked and without the divorce decree you get an RFE for it, as stated previously. It can’t be approved without the divorce being final, but it can be filed before it is. 
 
 
It says it can be filed at any time from gaining permanent residence - ie, the date your 2yr GC is approved - to when you are removed from the United States - ie, a final order of removal by an immigration judge, which is the point you are no longer a permanent resident. 
So yeah, it’s fairly explicit that it can be filed before, during or after the 90 day period at ANY time, which is what I was saying - you don’t necessarily have to rush to meet the 90 day window which is what you were alluding to, as you have the option available to you to file for divorce and file it  then. 
 
 
But hey man, I’m only trying to help you. I’ve only filed three of these f***ing things spanning over half a decade so what the hell do I know? 
 
 

Yes, and yes.
 @Villanelle has been here a long time and knows an incredible amount of stuff,  as do I at this point. 
Have you read my timeline for what can go very very wrong when a spouse tries to screw you over with a simple false allegation? 
Ours was filed jointly. False allegation made after we separated , switched it to a divorce waiver but they denied it solely on the basis of that allegation without telling me or offering the opportunity to refute it as per policy (which I have the evidence to do so). 

Things can and do go wrong, and some people are just a**holes. 
 

Ok I’m adding to what has already been said.  Wish I’d seen this a year ago.
 
It is never, ever advised to bring in a potentially hurt spouse or former spouse or future former spouse into an ROC case. This?  Already looks like something’s up.  This package is 2 weeks from being due.  It’s unsigned and incomplete.  It’s a joint filing package you put together that he does not have to cooperate at all with.  If I were planning to sabotage an ROC?  I’d do it exactly like this, get in the room with you, smoke your case in front of an IO, and at a minimum make you start over.  He has no say, none, in a waiver but wow what an opportunity to tornado you where it really can hurt.
 
It’s a short marriage, looks like problems started in the first year, he can say anything he likes about how things went south, including accusing you of deliberately sabotaging it, because you opened the door to it and invited him to step in.  He can make it LOOK like anything he wants.  You have no idea what HE may carry in and that’s risky.
 
You are advised not to do it like this.  As hard as it may seem, you’re a year or so late in moving on with your lives, filing divorce, and filing your own ROC.  They’re not going to throw you out over a marriage that didn’t work out but if he manages to pull off an argument that makes it look like you stuck around for a few months then moved out on your own you’re in a gray area.
 
Just my two cents.  I wouldn’t want a former spouse who I have on the hook with a support affidavit anywhere near that interview room and there is no, zero way this one isn’t going to interview.  

Correct if filing jointly, yes.
However, iff you are filing with a divorce waiver you can file at any time - it does not have to be within the 90 day window. It can be before, or after that window.
See the instructions:

 
 
You can also update a joint filing to a divorce waiver at a later date when divorce is final.
This gives you a few more options to consider.