NikkiFromCanada

On 3/27/2021 at 1:41 PM, neca said:

https://www.peoples-law.org/protective-orders

You can start here, if he's not legally able to contact you or see you then that theoretically affords you peace of mind.

 

Getting a divorce to me seems like it'd be both the easiest thing to do and the most honest representation of your relationship.

 

I can't help you with what forms you need to fill out, so this post isn't directly helpful, but have some resources for people in your situation!

 

A list of domestic abuse resources

Mental health resources

Women's Law Center of MD, can potentially help with divorce

 

Your mental health is very important, I would argue that it's the most important thing for a human to focus on. I obviously don't know you and your specifics, but please don't be afraid to affirm and take care of yourself. Hope this comes to an amicable conclusion.

Thank you. I've been in therapy since I left him. I found the forms I need to fill out to renew my Green Card with an abuse waiver. I appreciate you responding!! 

I am filing paperwork today. No divorce has been filed and I am afraid to do it because I am afraid my ex will find me and contact me. I am filing with the abuse waiver if I can figure out exactly what to form to file. It's not about doing what's easiest for me, it's about the truth. I have plenty of proof of extreme emotional abuse, controlling, intimidation, threats, etc. Does anyone know what form I need to file for the renewal of green card with abuse waiver? Any help is greatly appreciated!! 

3 hours ago, caliliving said:

You have a conditional greencard you are fine!! File the divorce waiver... Canada is low fraud so as long as you entered the marriage in good faith you are fine! If Mohammed from 90DF could file a divorce waiver and keep his conditional gc you won’t have a problem lol divorce and move on. 
 

also almost every spouse utters the “you used me for a green card” abuse. This is normal and something uscis has heard numerous times before! It’s very common.

Thank you!! 

3 hours ago, Hawk Riders said:

Information which may be helpful:

https://www.mdcourts.gov/legalhelp/domesticviolence

Thank you. 

1 hour ago, JonSeattle said:

You definitely should find a way to speak to a lawyer about the divorce. It could save you a lot in the long run. I'm not familiar with the marriage law for the state where you are located, but I suspect that while your husband can drag out the divorce, he cannot drag out a separation if you just go ahead and file that, with a restraining order to maintain your physical and mental safety.

 

As others have said, he has no power to get you removed from the country. He does have the power to give fraudulent statements to USCIS and get himself into a lot of trouble if he is caught.

In Maryland, there's no such thing as a legal separation. Me moving out of the home is what constitutes us being separated. I can't file the ROC without a finalized divorce though? That's the part I'm confused about. Thank you so much for your insight. Your words are encouraging!!! 

1 hour ago, Pinkrlion said:

You already have your GC, file for divorce, and ROC with a divorce waiver.  You will be fine.  

But I can only do that if the divorce is final, right??? It hasn't even started yet. 

I never in a million years imagined I would be writing this, but here I am. I am from Canada and my American husband and I have been together since 2014. We did long distance for 4 years before starting the K-1 Visa process in 2017 to bring me to the USA. I moved to the US in July 2018, from Canada. We got married at the courthouse in the USA in September 2018. A year later (October 2019) we had a huge wedding (for my family & friends) back in Canada. Since March of this year (2020), after many major disagreements, and trying hard to make it work, we finally accepted the fact that we are not compatible, we want to live two completely different lives (he is extremely antisocial, negative minded and draining to be around) and the marriage is just not going to work. He has also been extremely emotionally & verbally abusive which has taken a massive toll on my self-worth and happiness (things I overlooked because I was blinded by love.) Due to Covid, and trying to be financially responsible, we remained living together from March-October, strictly as roommates. I moved out on October 31, after an altercation where he audio recorded me in the home without my knowledge while he was at work, and he became extremely aggressive verbally, throwing my things around. I have a job, and a car, and can financially support myself. My two-year conditional Green Card will expire in July 2021. 

My husband has been recently threatening to tell USCIS that I frauded him for a Green Card and says he will have me kicked out of the country. I have lots of proof that this marriage was real, and that I loved his man. Four months AFTER I received my Green Card, we had a huge wedding back in Canada, which I paid for myself. I have paid for renovations this year to his home in preparation to sell, we had hired a realtor in the beginning of this year when we were house hunting for a new home, etc. There are many things that prove this marriage was real, and I really thought it would last forever. I was very much in love with this man until I just could not take the abuse any more. In fact, I was blinded by love. I really do not want to file any paperwork as an abused spouse. I am afraid he will find out if I do that, and I don't know what he will do. I don't want any drama or bad energy, but I do not know what my options are, and what I need to do next. I have a feeling he is doing research, and is going to try to delay the divorce, as he has already told me he plans to try to have me kicked out of the country. I am absolutely sick to my stomach over everything and I really do not want to hire an attorney if I don't have to. I am on a strict budget now as it is very expensive in the area I live in. This forum has helped me tremendously in the past, so here I am again. We do not have anything formal, in writing stating that we are separated, but I have my own place and I am no longer living in the home with my husband.  My conditional Green Card expires in July 2021. What are the next steps I should take and when? Thank you in advance for any insight or assistance. 

6 hours ago, laylalex said:

Just wanted to reach out and say (1) the advice you've been given so far about removing conditions is good and (2) you never know what good things life will bring you when you least expect them.  Yes, you will be 39 and divorced, but you will also be 39 and free. Free to live the life that you need to live for yourself, on the terms you set for yourself. I can tell you from experience, getting divorced sucked. Yep!   But it gave me the space to start defining myself again as a person outside of that relationship, and start paying attention to what I needed to be the person I had always wanted to be. I remain a work in progress.  

 

I just want to encourage you to take the space to acknowledge all the feelings you have now and going forward. Gather your people around you -- figuratively, because COVID19, obviously! -- and lean on them when you need support. I was surprised by how very many people there were to prop me up when life was at its worst -- when I finally spoke up. It was hard to talk about it at first, because I felt like I failed at something I really wanted to succeed at. But we don't "win" or "lose" at marriage -- we have ones that make us feel honored, respected, happy and safe, and ones that don't. Letting go of the bad ones isn't failure -- it's taking control. 

 

Best wishes to you from the Divorce Club -- it's not too bad over here.  

 

Thank you so much! Your comment is extremely uplifting and helpful!! ❤️

On 7/14/2020 at 2:23 AM, UScanucks said:

I am currently 6 months past my conditional green card. We've been married for 2 years. My USC husband is filing for divorce. We are still currently living together until the end of the month. He is moving out of state. He said he fell out of love   I am completely devastated. I came to the US on a TN visa to AOS after marriage.

I am currently gathering evidence (both of us listed as emergency contact and beneficiaries from work, joint account, car insurance, costco memberships, drivers license with the same address, documents for our dogs listed together, over 50 pictures, facebook messages, facebook posts, iMessages, leases, copies of all mails through USPS, Tmobile phone records with his number being called or calling me, VenMo records). He is also willing to give me affidavit and I have 4 other friends who knows us willing to provide affidavits.  I do not know if this is too much but I wanted to make sure I have enough documents for the waiver. Our engagement was a bit to short, only 3 months!  I am actually Canadian and sometimes, I just want to give it up and go back to canada. 

What else do you suggest I should gather now? Can I travel with a conditional green card even with pending divorce?

 

 

 

 

I am sorry you're going through this. I am going through the same thing except I've had my conditional green card for one year. We've been married for 2 years as well. I do believe divorce is the best thing in my situation though, even though I do still have love for my husband, we are not compatible. I am also Canadian, so it seems like we have much in common. I came here looking for advice and your post has helped. Thank you for sharing, and I wish you well. 

1 minute ago, Paul & Mary said:

You will be fine to stay in the US.  That is not at risk.  If your husband is aimable to file with you, that is fine and can be changed to a divorce waiver later.  Otherwise you can file anytime you have the final divorce decree.  Or when your window is open file, check divorce, provide the documentation that you have.

 

Best wishes!

Thank you. I appreciate the response. 

Hello all,

I never in a million years imagined I would be writing this, but here I am. I am from Canada and my American husband and I have been together since 2013. We did long distance for 5 years before starting the K-1 Visa process in 2017 to bring me to the USA. We've been married for almost 2 years now. I moved to the US exactly two years ago today, from Canada. We had a huge wedding (for my family & friends) back in Canada in October 2019. Since March of this year, after many major disagreements, and trying hard to make it work, we finally accepted the fact that we are not compatible, we want to live two completely different lives (he is extremely antisocial) and the marriage is just not going to work. He has also been extremely emotionally & verbally abusive which has taken a massive toll on my self-worth and happiness (things I overlooked because I was blinded by love.) Due to Covid, and trying to be financially responsible, we are still living together and will for another few months. We are currently living as roommates, mostly amicable, and we both equally realize our marriage will not work. My two-year conditional Green Card is good for one more year. It will expire in July 2021. Realistically, I will likely be moving out and getting my own place at the end of the year/the beginning of 2021. 

I'm torn on what to do...do I push for us to get divorced quickly, and apply for the i-175 once the divorce is final, (in Maryland we can hopefully get an absolute, no fault divorce completed within 3 months) or do I see if we can delay the divorce, and then file the i-175 jointly for my Green Card renewal, and then divorce afterwards?

I don't want to do anything deceitful. I have decided that I do want to stay living in the US. I have a great paying job here and I feel like I could have an overall better life here, then I would back in Canada. What are my best chances on being able to stay in the US? The marriage and relationship was 100% real, and I truly thought I would be with him for the rest of my life, but it just has not worked out that way. It's grim because I'm 39 and it's not the best point in life to end up divorced with no kids, but this is what will be. I also really want to try to do everything on my own, without an immigration attorney. I did everything on my own so far, for this process and I had no problems. This forum has been such a great help to me in the past, so naturally I came here to seek guidance. Any advice is greatly appreciated. 

9 hours ago, Bluewaters said:

Hello @NikkiFromCanada I just wanted to let you know that I got approved for ead/ap. So my form I485 is still pending with the RFIE they received. 

That's great!! Congratulations! 

2 hours ago, Katri said:

Awesome!!!!! I thought I found my dream job but now looking again 😆

Oh no!! lol I turned down a few jobs hoping I would get this one!! I actually emailed the hiring manager a few days after my phone interview because they were moving slow in the hiring process and told them I had an offer from a different firm. She sped up the process, interviewed me, and gave me the job!! It was the boldest thing I've ever done, but it worked!! LOL Good luck in your search!! 

Just wanted to share that I finally got a job!! And my dream job at that!!! It took me a full month!! I’ll be working in a downtown DC law firm as a Litigation Legal Assistant!! I can’t wait to have my own money, my own car, and to feel independent again!!!! ☺️

On 7/3/2019 at 11:52 AM, kemm360 said:

It truly is, we had our own on June 21st 2019 too and up till now we have heard nothing, when i track it, it just say"Interview was scheduled" it is sick... Since yours is now longer, what have you tried? Have you tried contacting them? I haven't done anything yet since it is just about 8 working days after the interview and the IO said they are waiting for a file from our K1 petition from the consulate. 

I called USCIS once and they said there's no information. So, just last week I reached out to our Congressman to ask him to make an inquiry. It's now been 60 days as of today! 

On 7/1/2019 at 10:26 PM, kemm360 said:

Well that’s not nice... Did they tell you why this is happening? 

No. He said at the end of the interview "Everything looks good, but we will review your case further. If you don't hear anything from us in 120 days, you can file an inquiry, but I doubt it will take even half that long." Apparently the Baltimore office is severely backlogged...but I know like 5 other people on this forum who had their Green Card interview at the Baltimore office after mine, and they received their green cards within 2-3 weeks. It's baffling! 

I reached out to my Congressman the other day to see if he can help. Day 53 since our Green Card interview at the Baltimore field office and still not a word since. 

48 days since my Green Card interview. Not a word. It's baffling!!! 

2 hours ago, Katri said:

Haha just few hours ago got an email that “On June 16th we ordered your new card” 🎉

 

Wow congratulations!! 🎈 

2 hours ago, Katri said:

I am right there with you!!!

Ohh I thought I was the only one. So frustrating!! 

Tomorrow will be 40 days since our Green Card interview in Baltimore and absolutely no word since. Everyone here who had their Green Card interview after me in Baltimore, has already received their Green Card.  It’s completely baffling!!! 

13 hours ago, Hazelnut said:

You're not alone! I've had my interview on April 9, and I still have not heard back.  I did get my EAD/AP on May 6 (originally filed on January 7).

Wow! It's crazy how long the wait is for SOME! I know 4 people who had their Green Card interview after me in Baltimore and they only waited 2 weeks to get their Green Card. Baffling! 

On 6/8/2019 at 2:52 PM, Icamarn said:

 

I called USCIS 7 days after my interview because my status didn’t even change to your case is being reviewed and later that day I got updates and case approved. I don’t know if my call helped but if I were you I would try to give them a call and tell them you don’t have any updates online if it’s something wrong with it... 🤷🏽‍♀️ 

I've called 3 times since my interview (before I had my EAD approval) and that didn't speed anything up with my Green Card. I would say it's a coincidence that you got your update the same day lol. I will try calling them tomorrow to see what they say though. It certainly cannot hurt!