moosy

Been looking for 4 months in my field now (social research). Been very close a few times to the point where they decided between two people but the others person got it (so far, actually based on our research, they said). 
 
I tried looking for a job before I got a work authorization, but one of the first questions I kept getting online is "are you legally allowed to work at this moment", and then I had to answer "no", because I do not want to be dishonest. That obviously disqualifies you. For a domain that is very slow-moving like academia, this basically means I am adding months to my job search. Luckily I have savings.
 
I have to note that I have been looking for jobs suited to my field and only to jobs that got me excited to apply, so I think in total, I applied less than 30 times over the past 4 months.
If I hit the 6 month mark without getting close again, I might change tactics, but for now, I have time to look for a job I actually want to do.
 
I have been writing some more articles on data I still had, and learning a few new skills and programs that are sometimes asked.
 
For higher education jobs, the competition is quite tough. You're looking at thousands of competitors in larger cities, if not more.
 
So far, I do not get picked out by the recruiters, but by the company people themselves because "my resume is interesting" and "caught their eye" (I used illustrator to make it stand out a bit, but not too much).
I do wonder what recruiters look for instead (I looked online a lot, and do not see any discrepancies with what I am offering).
It makes me wonder if they assume it is just easier to pick a native speaker. So far, I've always been the only non-native speaker. But it is anyone's guess.
 
In addition, some told me they had never heard of my university, despite it being ranked very high in all the global university lists; so if you have a great degree from a great university, do think about this and perhaps add ranking numbers from a few good ranking lists.
 
One more comment if you are in a similar situation as I am, wherein you want a job that fits your degree and abilities:
if you are running into fellow expats who are not supportive, just cut them off.
Unfortunately, I learnt by experience that some expats are frustrated and angry that they were not able to do the same (taking the time to get a job like that), and had to start from scratch. 
I have been TOLD (almost demandingly) by some other expats that I "should just get a job" and that I need to "get off my high horse if I think I deserve a job that actually fits my degrees". "You must feel so much better than us".
I have even been mocked by an expat peer for having a certain degree, and was told I must think I am sooo much smarter than anyone else (despite not naming the degree in the expat group nor implying I am in any way smarter; I am not; I married someone without a degree, so I know how many faces intelligence has other than just academic skills haha).
If you are unsure if it is you, or them, go through the forum or website you are on, and look at how they react to others in a similar job search. That will tell you all you need to know.
If you are in a similar position, consider moving away from your expat community and only retain the expats that are supportive or have gone through a similar search path. The negative ones can really drag you down and make you wonder.
This is VERY common, by the way.
 
Good luck!

Been looking for 4 months in my field now (social research). Been very close a few times to the point where they decided between two people but the others person got it (so far, actually based on our research, they said). 
 
I tried looking for a job before I got a work authorization, but one of the first questions I kept getting online is "are you legally allowed to work at this moment", and then I had to answer "no", because I do not want to be dishonest. That obviously disqualifies you. For a domain that is very slow-moving like academia, this basically means I am adding months to my job search. Luckily I have savings.
 
I have to note that I have been looking for jobs suited to my field and only to jobs that got me excited to apply, so I think in total, I applied less than 30 times over the past 4 months.
If I hit the 6 month mark without getting close again, I might change tactics, but for now, I have time to look for a job I actually want to do.
 
I have been writing some more articles on data I still had, and learning a few new skills and programs that are sometimes asked.
 
For higher education jobs, the competition is quite tough. You're looking at thousands of competitors in larger cities, if not more.
 
So far, I do not get picked out by the recruiters, but by the company people themselves because "my resume is interesting" and "caught their eye" (I used illustrator to make it stand out a bit, but not too much).
I do wonder what recruiters look for instead (I looked online a lot, and do not see any discrepancies with what I am offering).
It makes me wonder if they assume it is just easier to pick a native speaker. So far, I've always been the only non-native speaker. But it is anyone's guess.
 
In addition, some told me they had never heard of my university, despite it being ranked very high in all the global university lists; so if you have a great degree from a great university, do think about this and perhaps add ranking numbers from a few good ranking lists.
 
One more comment if you are in a similar situation as I am, wherein you want a job that fits your degree and abilities:
if you are running into fellow expats who are not supportive, just cut them off.
Unfortunately, I learnt by experience that some expats are frustrated and angry that they were not able to do the same (taking the time to get a job like that), and had to start from scratch. 
I have been TOLD (almost demandingly) by some other expats that I "should just get a job" and that I need to "get off my high horse if I think I deserve a job that actually fits my degrees". "You must feel so much better than us".
I have even been mocked by an expat peer for having a certain degree, and was told I must think I am sooo much smarter than anyone else (despite not naming the degree in the expat group nor implying I am in any way smarter; I am not; I married someone without a degree, so I know how many faces intelligence has other than just academic skills haha).
If you are unsure if it is you, or them, go through the forum or website you are on, and look at how they react to others in a similar job search. That will tell you all you need to know.
If you are in a similar position, consider moving away from your expat community and only retain the expats that are supportive or have gone through a similar search path. The negative ones can really drag you down and make you wonder.
This is VERY common, by the way.
 
Good luck!

I was very excited to get my work permit and start looking for jobs, but soon discovered that my desired employer (Intel) didn't want to risk hiring anyone without a green card. I guess they aren't sure that you'll definitely get one just because you're adjusting. I applied for various positions, adjusted my expectations and tried for entry level jobs, to no success. At that point I had no idea what was wrong and why they wouldn't give me a chance. But as soon as I got my GC I started getting calls for interviews, and soon got an offer. I've been very happy and growing my career since (a bit over 2 years now) and make very decent money. 
 
I'm sure depending on your field of interest, your experience could be different, but know that some employers might not want to hire nonresidents.
 

@moosy What a terrible attitude for other ex-pats to take with you.  I'm sure some of it is jealousy and some of it is not getting the whole story.  For example, my husband did do a manual labor job when he arrived, but he also didn't even have the equivalent of a high school diploma and his trade doesn't exist in our country.  So, he needed time to get a GED and learn a new trade.  Not everyone is in that boat, especially if they have a good degree from another country.

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As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

I often times feel like even when the foreigner is an obvious scammer, that the American is certainly no catch either.  There are a lot of narcissistic and delusional USCs posting about how they were "scammed".  Sometimes they were and sometimes the foreigner arrived in America, saw the crazy and ran.

Well there is your problem.  Before I met current husband I wrote a list of exact qualities he must have.
 
Unsurprisingly, he has them.  We needn't mate with everyone that catches our fancy, yah know?

Has been suggested that USCIS should offer a Platinum service so if needed disappointed spouses can get their ex's deported.

And what happens if the American decides he doesn't want his wife anymore, send her back? Sounds more like opening a can of work to human trafficking. 
 
And the 90 days is not for getting to know someone, it's for the immigrant to come over get married and send in their AOS. Not for getting to know someone and see what happens. Get to know someone properly before proposing to them and don't bring them here until you're sure. And stop generalizing everyone, not everyone sees an American like a free meal ticket. America is not that great. 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.
 
 

As a Belgian immigrant with much better healthcare and social security in her home country and who paid for everything herself and submitted everything herself (and I know I am not the only one), I think this is awkwardly aimed at very specific people from certain countries? Haha.
 
Anyone can be a victim of abuse .... or an abuser, even people like me (obviously not saying I am one).
 
I agree with the other tips: you need to see each other plenty, and try to live with each other in a non-vacation style. Vacation makes everything more fun and you are much less likely to have a fight. You need to have a few arguments to see how the other person reacts to an argument: do they suddenly get hostile, or super-subservient? Red flags. Cook each other dinner, or make your own lunches when you go somewhere to get to know eachother's likes and dislikes. Someone who just happens to like EVERYTHING you like (for food, clothes, movies, ...)? Red flag. No two people are alike, so there will be differences. 
 
Make sure you talk about money, job, and children before you start this as well: do you both truly want kids? If you do, how will you raise them, and will someone stay home or not? What are your big achievable dreams in life? Are they more or less able to line up with each other (cf if someone wants to climb the highest mountain, and the other person does not even like any activity at all, that is going to take a lot of sacrifice from one person)? Is the current job the job of your dreams or do you want to do something else? What were some big things in your life that made you into the person you are? Are you a or an ### when you are drunk/sick/angry/sad/...? What are your weak points? Are there household chores you love or detest? How will you divide the household work? How will you arrange the money issues while the other person is not allowed to work (or does not have a job yet)? How will it be arranged once you both have a job? What about expectations about sex? Every day, a few times a week, once a week, once a month, longer? Who will do most of the cooking and why exactly? What of these things will change once both of you have a job?
These are all details that need to be talked about and talked about. This is the rest of your life, so you need to make sure you are compatible; does not need to be 100%, but about 70-80 is achievable (that includes the areas where you just don't care as that means you don't care what the other person will decide for you). Red flags: they do not seem to be interested to talk to you about these things, they avoid these talks at almost all costs, they get hostile with most of these things, they have not seemed to have thought about any of this before, they tell you whatever you decide is fine (no it is not. Ever met a person who truly meant that?)
A lot of these things can be discussed without seeing each other, but often are not talked about. Note that some of these may change once you are about to make the transition, so make sure to talk to them about it again after a year or so.
Don't focus on the pleasant things like your heart wants you to. These boring practical things are suddenly important once the initial buzz fades a bit (which is a normal development in any relationship), as they make up most of the structure of your day and week and months and years.
 
 
In addition, I have talked to a few people in person who specifically look for a wife from a specific nationality because they have heard they "make great wives" (in both the domestic and sexual sense of the word). I just had to stand there and bite my tongue at the stereotypical and shallow comments of these male American citizens who had incredibly specific expectations of their future wives (they needed to become a caretaker, clean the house and cook, and have their children as fast as they could; it sounded like a slave).
To me, this sounds like men who are bound to attract women who will suddenly "change out of the blue" when they actually get to the US. It's easy to play into that stereotype of these desperate men, if you are desperate to get out of your country.
Note that I am not trying to imply that this is why US citizens become a victim of visa fraud. I am sharing another type of context wherein I can see fraud being easy.